What the [ __ ] click the scope this is the story of a man named stanley Stanley worked for a company in a big building where he was employee number 427 very good number employee number 427’s job was simple he sat at his desk in room 427 and he pushed buttons makes sense orders came to him through a monitor on his desk telling him what buttons to Push how long to push them and in what order this is what employee 427 did every day of every month of every year sounds like important while others might have considered it soul rating stanley relished every moment that the orders came in i wonder why stanley was happy well great And then one day something very peculiar happened something that would forever change stanley something he would never quite forget he had been at his desk for nearly an hour when he realized that not one single order had arrived on the monitor for him to follow no one had showed up To give him instructions call a meeting or even say hi please show up on his side remember in all his years of the company had this happened this complete isolation something was very clearly wrong shocked frozen solid stanley found himself unable to move for the longest time But as he came to his wits and regained his senses he got up from his desk and stepped out of his office okay is this wait is it oh my where are my feets where’s where stanley’s legs go i hate mondays oh my god are these tps reports too holy [ __ ] okay All of his co-workers were gone what might what could it mean decided to go to the meeting room perhaps he had simply missed a memo okay let’s go to the meeting room that seems fine all right we’re gonna go through here and then oh nice wow what a beautiful painting Look outside what’s outside no matter how hard stanley looked he couldn’t find a trace of his co-workers I like work just hate my boss damn what the hell is this number one dad bro this is giving me like very strong 1995 what vibes [ __ ] What in the [ __ ] i hate mondays that they all do apparently is this the meeting room projections oh it’s going up that’s good okay i can’t open that door when stanley came to a set of two open doors he entered the door on his left okay wait okay Yet there was not a single person here either feeling a wave of disbelief stanley decided to go up to his boss’s office hoping he might find an answer there using slides that is to assure everything boys everything’s okay make sure your slide is looking blue graphic this will ensure a calm and productive Work environment what is hot profits profits profits what do people want the stock market is somewhere in here quarterly post review review more water coolers i think that’s a stupid idea find teenagers to put in teenage demographic what the [ __ ] coming to a staircase stanley walked upstairs to his boss’s office What happens if i go down yeah what happens if i go down but stanley just couldn’t do it he considered the possibility of facing his boss admitting he had left his post during work hours he might be fired for that and in such a competitive economy Um why had he taken that risk all because he believed everyone had vanished his boss would think he was crazy and then something occurred to stan what’s that maybe he thought to himself maybe i am crazy all of my co-workers blinking mysteriously out of existence in a Single moment for no reason at all none of it made any logical sense that’s true and as stanley pondered this he began to make other strange observations a nice guy for example why couldn’t he see his feet when he looked down why did doors close automatically behind Him wherever he was oh my god and for that matter these rooms were starting to look pretty familiar they are simply repeating no stanley said to himself this is amazing this can’t be real and at last he came to the conclusion that had been on the Tip of his tongue he just hadn’t found the words for it i’m dreaming he yelled this is all a dream oh what a relief stanley felt to have finally found an answer an explanation his co-workers weren’t actually gone he wasn’t going to lose his job he wasn’t Crazy after all great and he thought to himself i suppose i’ll wake up soon i’ll have to go back to my boring real-life job pushing buttons i may as well enjoy this while i’m still lucid so he imagined himself flying and began to gently float above the ground oh Then he imagined himself soaring through space on a magical stone and it too appeared it was so much fun and stanley marveled that he had still not woken up how was he remaining so what the [ __ ] and then perhaps the strangest question of them all entered stanley’s head one he was amazed he Hadn’t asked himself sooner what is it why is there a voice in my head dictating everything that i’m doing and thinking now the voice was describing itself being considered by stanley who found it particularly strange i’m dreaming about a voice describing me thinking about how it’s describing my thoughts he thought And while he thought it all very odd and wondered if this voice spoke to all people in their dreams the truth was that of course this was not a dream how could it be is it was stanley simply deceiving himself maybe believing that if he’s asleep he doesn’t have to take Responsibility for himself that’s possible yes as awake right now as he’s ever been in his life well [ __ ] now hearing the voice speak these words was quite a shock to stanley after all he knew for certain beyond a doubt that this was in fact a Dream did the voice not see him flow to make the magical stars just a moment ago that’s true how else would the voice explain all that this voice was a part of himself too surely if he could just he would prove it yeah he would prove That he was in control that this was a dream of course so he closed his eyes gently and he invited himself to wake up oh my god he felt the cool weight of the blanket on his skin the press of the mattress on his back the fresh air of a world outside this One let me wake up he thought to himself i’m through with this dream i wish it to be over this is [ __ ] creepy let me go back to my job let me continue pushing the buttons please it’s all i want i want my apartment and my wife and my job All i want is my life exactly the way it’s always been my life is normal i am normal everything will be fine i don’t know what this is gonna show like i am okay oh my god he’s gonna open his eyes so crazy uh-oh stanley began screaming please someone Wake me up my name is stanley i have a boss i have an office i am real please just someone tell me i am real i must be for you i must be can anyone hear my voice who am i what is this like and everything went black This is the story of a woman named marielle wait what mariella woke up on a day like any other she arose got dressed gathered her belongings and walked to her place of work but on this particular day her walk was interrupted by the body of a man who had Stumbled through town talking and screaming to himself then collapsed dead on the sidewalk and although she would soon turn to go call for an ambulance for just a few brief moments she considered the strange man he was obviously crazy this much she no everyone knows what crazy people look Like that’s true and in that moment she thought to herself how lucky she was to be normal that’s nice i am saying i am in control of my mind i know what is real and what isn’t i’m dead it was comforting to think this and in a certain way This man made her feel better but then she remembered the meeting she had scheduled for that day that’s not good the very important people whose impressions of her would affect her career and by extension the rest of her life well [ __ ] she had no time for this So it was only a moment that she stood there still she didn’t call the police and then she turned and ran All of his co-workers were gone what could it mean stanley decided to go to the meeting room perhaps he had simply missed a memo Is this memento when stanley came to a set of two open doors he entered the door okay all right let’s go i’m freaking out man yet there was not a single person here either feeling a wave of distance believe we were stanley decided to go out to his voice’s Hoping he might find an answer there let it ball up inside you take it passive aggressive on co-workers resent co-workers for not supporting you more let it fall oh right i see this where’s burn down the building okay coming to a staircase stanley walked upstairs to his boss’s office okay all Right so we know what happens then we’re gonna go up to here then executive bathroom why can’t wait the mirror doesn’t work to be rich is it a crime to commit crimes isn’t it rich what a life it would be to have to pick just one extreme bathrooms Oh this is yeah it’s bobby’s bathroom where’s the boss wait what’s this is a phone book holy [ __ ] i haven’t seen one of these in a long time oh my god they used to guys anybody who’s like under the age of 25 they used to send you these books and it Would have a phone number of everybody in the town yeah i i think we still have a couple of them can i interact with this there’s no way right no i can’t okay let’s go over here the business strategy is shooting a panda in the head okay that makes sense So i guess this must be the boss’s room stepping into his manager’s office stanley was once again stunned to discover not an indication of any human life shocked unraveled stanley wandered in disbelief who orchestrated this what dark secret was being held from him what he could not have known was that The keypad behind the boss’s desk guarded the terrible truth that his boss had been keeping from him and so the boss had assigned it an extra secret pin okay 2 8 4 5. but of course stanley couldn’t possibly have known this where’s the keypad oh it’s right here two eight Four stanley just sat around twiddling his thumbs yet incredibly by simply pushing random buttons on the keypad stanley happened to input the correct code by shimla but did i he stepped into the newly opened passageway what in the [ __ ] like wait oh my god um so this isn’t gonna close is it What the [ __ ] is this some motor uh all right let’s go down this way do i go on here i didn’t die again descending deeper into the building stanley realized he felt a bit peculiar it was a stirring of emotion in his chest as though he felt more free to Think for himself to question the nature of his job oh [ __ ] why did he feel this now when for years it had never occurred to him this question would not go unanswered for long okay stanley walked straight ahead through the large door that read mind control facility um [ __ ] it let’s go in let’s go in i’m ready oh where’d the door go wait the door’s gone the lights rose on an enormous room packed with television screens what horrible secret did this place hold stanley thought to himself did he have the strength to find out um Did i just go into an alien spaceship area like what the [ __ ] it’s the matrix yeah what is this i hate mondays can i interact with anything here can i turn on the light no like um i guess i should use this jump down i can’t i can’t doesn’t let me Okay let’s hit the button now the monitors jump to life their true nature revealed each bore the number of an employee in the building stanley’s co-workers the lives of so many individuals reduced to images on a screen and stanley one of them eternally monitored in this place where freedom Wait nothing he’s uh he’s four to seven where’s four two seven that’s me right oh i’m not there that’s right because i’m here okay so what’s in the box nothing is in the box okay um fired okay that no that’s not me i’m not getting fired all right let’s go ahead We’re gonna click this button okay this mind control facility it was too horrible to believe it couldn’t be true had stanley really been under someone’s control all this time was this the only reason he was happy with his boring job that his emotions had been manipulated to accept it blindly that’s smart they Should do that in real life no he refused to believe it yeah he couldn’t accept it that’s his same life in someone else’s control never it was unthinkable right wasn’t it was it even possible had he truly spent his entire life utterly blind to the world uh let’s go But here was the proof the heart of the operation controls labeled with emotions happy or sad or content walking eating working all of it monitored and commanded from this very place and as the cold reality of his past began to sink in stanley decided that this machinery would never again Exert its terrible power over another human life so what do we do he would dismantle the controls once and for all [ __ ] yeah i will never serve i will never say we’re gonna turn it off just kidding let’s turn it on wait oh how does this work activate power cells okay I hit all the buttons what the [ __ ] what’s over here facility power wait is this it oh my god what i think i should hit this button no okay let’s let’s look around all right let’s go up here mind controls idle awaiting input the hell was this [ __ ] System power and when at last he found the source of the room’s power he knew it was his duty his obligation to put an end to this horrible place and to everything it stood for oh stanley you didn’t just activate the controls did you no after they kept you Enslaved all these years ago and you tried to take control of the machine for yourself yeah what you wanted You need to understand there’s only so much that machine can do now you were supposed to run away go turn the controls off and leave no i didn’t if you want to throw my story off track you’re going to have to do much better than that i’m afraid you don’t have nearly the Power you think you do for example and i believe you’ll find this pertinent stanley suddenly realized he had just initiated the network’s emergency detonation system in the event that this machine is activated without proper dna identification nuclear detonators are said to explode so it didn’t even matter eliminating the entire complex it’s a Lose-lose detonation then let’s say um two minutes ah now this is making things a little more fun yes it’s your time to shine you are the star i see it’s your story now oh shape it to your heart’s desire all right let’s oh this is much better than what i Had in mind what a shame we have so little time left to enjoy it okay new moments until the bomb goes off but what precious moments are one of them is i can get more time to talk about you what what if i go through this door where we’re going I can’t open the door um all right so let’s go over here maybe you’d like to know where your co-worker is we’ll go down this way a moment of solace before you’re wrong wait wait oh god it’s i’m in a good mood i can’t i can’t go up there i can’t go Up there i’ve got to go exactly let’s go up to the top i raised them what i turned off the machine i set you free of course i’m right that was merely in this instance of the story sometimes when i tell it i simply let you sit there in your office forever Endlessly and then dying alone i other times i let the office sink into the ground swallowing everyone inside or i let it burn to a crisp i have to say this though this version of events has been rather amusing watching you try to make sense of everything and take back the control Rested away from you it’s quite worse [ __ ] i almost hate to see it go i see i see i see i can make it i can make it i’m going to do all three of them i’m going to do all that even better three months and then this was Four thirty four seconds left but i’m enjoying it all right i have to i have to know what to hell with it i’m going to put some extra time on the clock why not these are precious additions no way no way no way time doesn’t grow on trees okay all right let’s go You’re in for quite a disappointment [ __ ] but here’s a spoiler okay that timer isn’t a catalyst to keep the action moving along it’s just seconds ticking away to your death you’re only still playing instead of watching a cutscene because i want to watch you for every moment that you’re powerless no to See you made humble so what this is let me try and open the door again it’s a tragedy you wanted to control this world that’s fine it doesn’t i don’t want to destroy it so wait what’s this take a look at the clocks down there yeah that’s 30 seconds you have left to Struggle yeah 30 seconds until a big number meant nothing okay Okay let’s go underneath the stairs maybe or will you let it go peaceful i another choice i can’t go anywhere make it come oh it’s all the same to me all the part of the joke and believe me laughing at every second disabled happily ever All of his co-workers were gone what could it mean oh my god stanley decided to go to the meeting room perhaps he had simply missed a memo oh my oh oh my god when stanley came to a set of two open doors he entered the door on his list what’s okay Yet there was not a single one here either feeling a wave of disbelief stanley decided to go up to his stanley stepped into the broom closet but there was nothing here so he turned around and got back on track but was there nothing here what if there is There was nothing here no choice to make no path to follow just an empty broom closet no reason to still be here but i am here i am i’m not leaving it was baffling that stanley was still just sitting in the broom stupid [ __ ] he wasn’t even doing anything i do what I want at least if there was something to interact with he’d be justified in some way he’s literally just standing there doing sweet fa [ __ ] all right there’s gotta be something i can interact with right are you are you really still in the broom closet no i’m standing around Doing nothing no i why please offer me some explanation here i’m genuinely confused just having fun we’re just having fun or just but i got an achievement look at that you do realize there’s no choice or anything in here right stanley walked past the broom closet at Least she would have had a reason for exploring it to find out okay but it didn’t even occur to me because literally this closet is of absolutely no significance to the story i bet it’s not however i never would have thought to mention it okay but where do i i’m not leaving Maybe to you this is somehow its own branching yeah when you go talk about this with your fringe or say oh did you get the broom closet ending the broom closet ending was my favorite wait there’s an ending for this friends find this concerning there’s a radioactive symbol wait oh Oh um stanley was fat and ugly and really really stupid he probably only got the job because of a family connection that’s how stupid he is that or with drug money also stanley is addicted to drugs and hookers we love stanley stanley’s awesome yeah dude stanley has come to a very Definite conclusion about what’s going on right now you’re dead wait what you got to this broom closet explored it a bit and we’re just about to leave because there’s nothing here when a physical melody of some sort shut down your central nervous system and you collapsed on the keyboard Well in a situation like this the responsible thing is to alert someone nearby so as to ensure that your body is taken care of before it begins to decompose i’m not leaving hello anyone who happens i won’t leave i will not leave this computer is and instruct another human to take their Place making sure they understand basic first-person video game mechanics and filling them in on the history of narrative tropes in video gaming okay so that the rna and insightful commentary this game no no [ __ ] you hey man i heard somebody uh yelling for help you okay no i i i don’t know i’m I’m fine i’m totally okay well you’re you’re trapped in it you’re stuck in a [ __ ] broom closet i’m not trapped i’m more exactly where i’m exactly where i want to be you want to get out or no why would i get out that’s exactly where i want to be well there’s nothing in There well what if there is there’s not well he said why does he not want me to be in there he’s honest with you there’s nothing in there what if there is though there’s not well i don’t know about that do i have to come out of the closet now yeah I bet there is i bet they’re [ __ ] i bet there’s something in here there’s gotta be some there’s like a plug um it’s gotta be something okay man i don’t think there’s anything guys i think we need to open the door ah second player it’s good to have you On board i guarantee you too i’m at the mercy of an entire species yeah that’s right perhaps there’s a monkey nearby you can hand the controls too a fish fungus look you can hammer out the details i’m not particularly picky i’ll just be waiting for when you’re Ready to pick up the story again he’s just being rude to me now he’s been with me he’s a monkey nft yeah i’d see that stay here i’m not moving i’m not gonna wait for him i’ll wait for him to start the story change his story for me Coming to a stage i get wiped out okay all right we’re not gonna do that all right that’s fine okay let’s go in here all right what happens if i click on this or i click on this okay this is the panda stuff oh wait what we’re going on an adventure yay How long does this elevator take yeah you’re going oh i’m chilling bro i’m chilling what this is taking kind of a while all oh so but where am i but there’s nothing for me to aren’t they going to let me out i want to go up what i thought I am the most expensive boss what if i go down i mean down i mean down take me down how about down where does this go got to figure this out right it’s got to be something what’s in this paper what’s in that page who’s this holy [ __ ] all right all right No again all right okay where am i now [Laughter] okay okay okay i see what we got going on here yeah it’s a bunch of horse [ __ ] okay let’s go back into his cave stepping into his manager’s office stanley was once again stunned to discover not an indication of any human life What could it mean stanley wondered aloud to nobody he began wildly tearing through papers on the boss’s desk pulling books off the shelf looking behind paintings desperate for clues to his situation but his attention was caught by a keypad behind the boss’s desk this door what could happen In fact this keypad guarded the terrible secret that lay buried below his feet and so the boss had assigned it an extra secret pin number two eight four five but of course stanley couldn’t possibly have known this it doesn’t work two eight four stanley just sat around tweeting His thumbs trying to get incredibly by simply pushing random buttons do we understand this it’s okay by sheer luck amazing he stepped into the newly opened passageway okay okay all right i’ve been here before what if i click up on this wait am i going up wait no i i said go Up i said go up why am i hey okay stanley walked straight ahead through the large door that read mind control facility right here we go this is fine now we’ve been here before we know how the lights rose on an enormous room packed with television screens we know about this What horrible secret did this place hold stanley thought to himself did he have the strength to find out aha you’ve made it to the bottom of the mind control facility welcome what you see back when the stanley parable first launched in 2013 getting to the bottom of the mind Control facility was a bug that we simply didn’t catch during development and you all sent us lots of photos of it on twitter and active very superior about it and you’re all very very clever good for you anyway when it came time to outdate the game we knew that we had to Do something about this little goof of ours so here you go what is this new content you can call it the bottom of the mind control room ending that enhances your perception of the value of these updates isn’t that what you crave new content always more content more conscious more More more and i’m here to give it to you i’m here to make it seem like we really covered every nook and cranny of the game with secrets and easter eggs how about this we wrote a new piece of music just for this section okay you won’t Hear it anywhere else in the game it’s a secret that’s just for you that’s how special you are we call this track good job you’ve made it to the bottom of the mind control facility well done i’m a good boy Good job you did it where am i good i can’t see anything What the hell good job you made it to the bottom Railings don’t mean anything good job you did it good job you did it good job you did it you did it good job you did it that’s me you did it that’s me you did that’s me good job you did it that’s me good job you did it good job that’s me God man yeah i know good job dude hell yeah what Man what the [ __ ] dude all of his co-workers were gone what could it mean stanley decided to go to the meeting room perhaps he had simply missed a memo you want to play these [ __ ] games with me you know what i’m i’m through getting [ __ ] around when stanley came to a certain Point this was not the correct way to the meeting stanley knew it perfectly well i know perhaps he wanted to stop by the employee lounge first just to admire it that’s right i can’t open the door what’s this oh yes this is a room worth admiring it had Really been worth the deal after all just to spend a few moments here in this immaculate beautifully constructed room this place sucks stanley simply stood here drinking it all in i what the hell i can’t see anything i can’t can i get a drink yes really really worth it being here in the Room room so utterly captivating that even though all your co-workers have mysteriously vanished here you sit looking at these chairs and some paintings really worth it okay well great all right i’ll just wait here then that’s good okay at this point stanley’s obsession with this room bordered on crete And reflected poorly on his overall personality it’s possible that this is why everyone left everybody left because of me that’s not true coffee nut stanley sat around waiting for more dialogue but when a long time had passed and there was no more he decided that the game was trying to send him a Message true that okay all right let’s see what happens there’s gonna be this is where they have more dialogue um I think it wants me to go somewhere else i’m pretty sure it does like it i think it wants me to go somewhere else guys like it’s just it lost it had enough of the amazing room is left to get back to business okay let’s do that nope what’s over here Stanley was so bad at following directions it’s incredible he wasn’t fired years ago no i i i’m doing what i want i do what i want it can’t tell me what to do hell yeah brother do not jump from the cargo lift while it’s in motion But in his eagerness to prove that he is in control of the story and no one gets to tell him what to do stanley left from the platform and plunged to his death good job stanley everyone thinks you are very powerful jesus christ what do they do this [ __ ] to me for man I got my i’m getting my ass beat like stanley had never seen the office this brightly lit was it a sign of something what he hoped it was he hoped very much that it was huh is there something different now what the [ __ ] okay so let’s go back to the mind control facility Let’s go back there when stanley came to a set of two openings wait wait wait wait wait the door on his left let me go here let me go this was not the correct way to the meeting oh yeah i’m stanley knew it Perfect i want to see if i can get if i perhaps he wanted to stop by the employee lounge first just to admit this is what it could be okay wow yes this room yeah to get back to business so do i get damaged first open door on his left Okay and so he detoured through the maintenance section walked straight ahead to the opposite door and got back on track yeah that’s exactly what i did yep but stanley didn’t want to go back to the office he wanted to wander about and get even further off track so now in Order to get back he needed to go um what from here it’s um left oh oh okay okay is there any other way i can go how do i know i should go that way what if he’s lying he could probably be lying okay he’s not lying oh no no it’s to the Right my mistake [ __ ] you no no no no not the writer what why would i have ever said it was to the right what what what was i thinking it’s clearly wait oh dear would you where is it please where i go now let’s see we went down right left down Left is this a command code yep okay okay yes sorry all right this story is absolutely definitely this way okay let’s go this way okay let’s go this way let’s go this way okay let’s go this way i’m gonna break out i’m gonna break the conditioning is this gonna run me over um Looks like i have to go down here what the wait what though oh my god no no no no no no no no this isn’t right at all you’re not supposed to be here yet this is all a spoiler quick stanley close your eyes okay okay okay okay we just we just have To get back to what oh what happened am i kidding it’s all rubbish now well now our story completely unusable how about rather than waste my time trying to salvage this nonsense we’ll just restart the game from the beginning and this time suppose we don’t wander so Far off track thank you okay from the top [ __ ] ass [ __ ] you man all of his co-workers were gone what could it mean matt what the stanley decided to go to the meeting room perhaps he had simply missed a memo was this door open before i don’t think it was Okay let’s go don’t tell me what to do i went stan wait wait what no no i restarted i swear i definitely restarted the game over completely fresh everything should be oh did something change wait what stanley did you change anything when we were back in that room with all the Monitors did you move the story somewhere or hold on did i why am i asking you i’m the one who wrote the story was right here just a minute ago i know for sure that it’s here somewhere okay then it’s an adventure come stanley let’s find the story oh oh oh okay okay Oh but then well i can i go in here no what about in what about in here wait what’s this everyone knows i’ll say it this is the worst adventure i’ve ever been on i can promise you there definitely was a story here before do we just do we need to restart the Game again no no i don’t want to likely that will ever progress by starting over and over again but it’s got to be better than this but i know i got restarted all of his co-workers were gone stanley decided to go to the meeting room perhaps he had said i’m gonna go Over here no i’m not what’s 420 where’s 420 wait there’s no 420 there’s 422 421 418 419 oh here’s 420. ah [ __ ] okay never mind okay so now i go okay yep it’s worse wait i might be remembering this wrong wait it’s possible the story is back where we just came from Why don’t we go back the other direction and see if we missed anything but i i don’t want to i want to stay in this room what if i want to stay in this room how about that yeah that’s right you can’t control me you can’t make me do what you want Wait [ __ ] how was i able to get up on here but not whenever the doors were open now what wait was this here before oh my how’d that get there wait why is this on surname access um was i supposed to do that i mean i oh i turned them off Uh you have to leave your computer off you don’t want to waste a waste mana or powder i knew we’d missed something what the story here it comes word that were the things on the clock there’s no [ __ ] on the clock no wait never mind not the story okay Let’s head back the other way and retrace our steps he doesn’t even know what’s going on now i’ve ruined it wait now this well i’ll be honest i don’t recognize this place at all is this the story i don’t think so i can’t quite recall but i believe my Story took place in an office building it is that correct hmm do you remember stanley what do you know what since i’ve completely forgotten what we were supposed to be doing how about this you win congratulations i knew i’m the best a lot of hard work And it really paid off so good job oh no what no i don’t feel right about this at all why we both know you didn’t put in any actual work for that win that never stopped before in fair and square and this was not one of those situations of course not okay I’m getting weirded out by whatever this place is i don’t care what might happen this time i have to restart no what all right i’ve got a solution this time to make sure we don’t get lost i’ve employed the help of the stanley parable adventure line Just follow the line how simple is that okay all right that’s simple enough all right let’s go let’s follow the line okay okay okay no no i’m done we’re living it up to the line from now on no no uh nope i do what i want I i do it i do what i want what what let me what i it then he they didn’t but why don’t i i i think i have to go back to the line guys this is it’s so passive aggressive about over here okay these doors don’t open Don’t worry i’ll get away soon if i want to go up here i i don’t want to follow the line uh i i will not follow the line i see yeah you see the line knows where the story is i went over it i’m with stanley to destiny okay here’s a thought Wouldn’t wherever we end up be our destination even if there’s no story there or to put it another way is the story of no destination still a story simply by the act of moving forward are we implying a journey such that a destination is inevitably conjured into Being via the very manifestation of the nature of life itself okay stanley i need to follow this train of thought for a minute just stick with me okay now we can both agree that the nature of existence is in fact a byproduct of one subjective experience of that existence Okay now if my experience of your existence rests inside of your subjective experience is this office in fact the skeleton of my own relative experiential mental subjective construct hang on it doesn’t let me we’re here back there well i’d like to apologize oh my god it’s in a circle you know what I think what we need right now is a bit of music to lighten the mood okay uh Okay all right let’s go follow the line oh he’s a skateboarder all right let’s go i can’t i’m stuck i can’t go anywhere else i’m i can’t go up i can’t go i let’s go this way no let’s go how about here no [ __ ] So i have to jump over this i can’t if i can’t okay all right up here good there we go yeah we’ll go around good no no no no i can’t okay i got it what the hell is this i i where am i where am i going all right Okay all right so let’s go no i can’t okay go down this way i’ll [ __ ] you i’m not going now okay let’s go back all right what’s in the box nothing what’s in the box nothing i can’t i want to i want to do what i want corporate imbalances consolidation reports departmental Here how do i wait cut the music go back and look at that fern no wait okay i will stanley this fern will be very important later in the story make sure you study it closely and remember it carefully you won’t want to miss anything nice screenshot of it it’s okay It’s now an nft wait what we’re back at the office wait no no no line you don’t know we’re waiting for the stanley parable right the story is any of this ringing a bell i don’t know where i am wait i i can’t okay so do i go down here again wait This is my i’m back in my office i’m lost okay let’s follow the line guys [ __ ] but i can’t open this door it tells me to go into the door for this line but i can’t go into the door for the line so i Don’t know what to do maybe if i go in through here and then i go in through there and then i go in through here and then i was already here okay never mind all right so let’s turn around then instead and let’s not do that now let’s Turn around and we’re going to go over here we’re going to turn to there we’re going to go to here no we’re going to go over here all right and so wait where’d the line go all right [ __ ] that i don’t need the line anyway it’s okay Still missing the doors did we make a mistake following the line perhaps we could have found the story on our own right let’s turn back around okay uh typing that’s just me pressing e it’s the interact button i just assumed that it was and it turns out that was right Okay so we’ll go back over to he’s not gonna like this oh no no no no not again how could you have done this to us and after we trusted this was not like everything we’ve been through this was not my fault don’t take this anymore to hell with it restart what i But i didn’t this was not my fault you know what stanley well i say forget the adventure line what’s it ever done for us we’re intelligent people right yeah why can’t we make up our own stuff hell yeah something exciting daring mysterious let’s jump out the window this all sounds perfectly doable why Don’t we simply start wandering in well i don’t know how about this direction this one okay what’s over here now yes this is exciting just me and stanley forging a new path a new story well it could be anything what do you want our story to be Go wild use your imagination whatever it might be stanley i’m ready for it what am i in a labyrinth oh no no no not you again oh no stanley i’d also like to veto the line from having any role in our awesome music minds or monitor rooms just don’t Acknowledge it okay should be fine i i never have that’s not a problem for me at all what’s this ah a choice we get to make a decision from here the story is in our control how important we mustn’t squander the opportunity in fact i believe i need a minute to think here Just walk in circles for a minute okay okay so i know that each door has to lead someone right which means that somewhere at the place where we’re trying to go there must be a reverse door that leads here and that in turn means that our destination corresponds with the Counter-inverted reverse doors origin okay so starting from the right let us ask will taking the right door lead us to where we’re going well yeah because the right answer is clearly yes then by all accounts the door on the right is the correct one another victory for logic true come stanley our destiny Awaits all right logic wait i i i doesn’t [ __ ] the confusion ending oh hold up what’s this wait hmm the confusion ending what the you’re telling me that’s what this is it’s all one giant ending oh no and we’re supposed to restart the game book eight eight times No i but stanley really how always it didn’t even matter it’s all determined what the hell so now according to the schedule i restart again then what am i just supposed to forget well what if i don’t want to forget my mind goes blank simply because it’s written here on this this thing Wall well who consulted me why don’t i get to decide why don’t i get a say in all of this is it really no it can’t be i i don’t want it to be i i don’t want the game to keep restarting i don’t want does that mean Did we do it did we break the cycle great the um whatever it is that made this scheme yeah i do whatever i want we even know will someone come for us will something happen can i open the door no no i guess now we just wait you know I suppose in some way that this is a kind of story wouldn’t you agree i’m not quite sure if we’re in the destination or the journey though they’re always saying that life is about the journey and not the destination we’re right here that’s where we are right now oh my god eventually Well in the meantime if you Bye wait what wait why why i can’t even go on my own office now where’s my where’s my what happened to my office when stanley came to a set of two open doors he entered the door on his left okay all right let’s do the door on my left that sounds good All right yet there was not a single person here either right feeling a wave of disbelief okay stanley decided to go up to his boss’s office go oh no no no no no no no no not again i won’t be a part of this i’m not going to Encourage you i’m not going to say anything at all i’m just going to be i’m in here with you to finish whatever it is doing so much in this room i wonder what that is take your time okay so i just okay i i’m is it now what okay let’s go over here Coming to a staircase stanley walked upstairs to his boss’s office that makes sense i i know what this is got it all right now let’s go over here the moment he entered his manager’s office stanley froze in his tracks okay not a living soul anywhere could he really be all alone right this Was too much for stanley to take too much for any man to take stanley was in such a rush to get through the story as quickly as possible he didn’t even have a single minute to just let the narrator talk that kind of anxiety i’m going fast so He relaxed for a few moments with some calming new age music that’s good that’s good yep i like it feeling soothed and rejuvenated no i wasn’t but where does it be oh i see it now okay let’s go over here and we’re going to go over here and We’re going to go inside of here and let’s go down down here okay whoops nope uh never mind stanley actually got back into the elevator and went back home why did stanley do that when he knew that it would just lead back to his boss’s office i don’t know that’s a Great question i just can’t wait to find out who knows what is this wait did you just say the end is near what why did i do this here we are stanley it’s your boss’s office exactly the way it was before you got onto the elevator it’s still just Exactly what it is yeah what a decision you’ve made to come up here and look at the office again that’s right this has fleshed out the plot of the story in new and fascinating ways i could have never anticipated it’s that keen eye for some storytelling that you have we’re talking about Rapid fire of critical plot points one after the other weaving a rich tapestry of uncompromising narrative i’m bolted to the edge of my seat [ __ ] now what so he’s just he’s tired of my [ __ ] i’ve got to go back down again incredible now he’s getting back into the elevator And going down again ladies and gentlemen how does he keep coming up with all of this surely this time stanley will walk forward into the spooky corridor won’t he no did you think we were going to go forward down there no no no it’s time once again i do what i Want in the elevator i can’t even begin to make me do what i want yeah is it the boss’s office again yeah oh what if it’s the boss’s office this time no it’ll be something different killing me it’ll it’ll be like uh um it’ll be like a pony Watch it’s gonna be a pony huh what oh my god it’s probably that music scared me this absolutely changes everything for me oh my give me a timeout here for a minute while i process this what I What is he getting mad at me for i’m just trying to play the game the hell is this [ __ ] Okay i’m ready okay and prepare to embrace this stunning revelation and to move forward with no no wait wait for what no i need more time to press no you’re not oh my god bro oh my god bro i’m so stupid he took a break no That’s not it at all that is not it at all don’t want to hear that [ __ ] okay now what All right i have fully come to terms with it yeah i have made space in my world view for this astonishing new reason isn’t it crazy as before i turn to your expert eye for gripping narrative master stanley absolutely let’s type boob in here again how about 9-1-1 how about one two Three four how about um five four eight two no i can’t go backwards in time 69.69 one three three seven six six six well [ __ ] man i don’t know okay let’s just go down here of course going back down yeah i i should just go back how did i not anticipate yeah i’ve Got i’ve got to go sure but you have to understand that 30 seconds ago this kind of thing had never been attempted before i had no frame of reference to even anticipate it that’s just how revelatory stanley’s decision making is a breath of fresh air in a landscape of storytelling That has grown stale and repetitive no it’s not stale at all why would it be stale we’re doing something different every single time okay let’s actually see where we’re going i’m just kidding all right so what if i go up there again Hmm you know what what i just thought of something hold on let’s stop for a minute what don’t you realize it’s the anticipation stanley you and i we have no way of knowing what will be at the top of this elevator but the suspense that’s true the agony of waiting and anticipation That’s the real thrill yeah oh i simply don’t want to let that feeling go it’s so precious so fleeting why don’t we take this elevator ride nice and slow okay there we go isn’t this so much more exciting it seems like nowadays the only thing that audiences want is to be shocked as Loudly and frequently as possible they want big explosive moments flung right in their faces from the very moment the things gets michael bay but where’s the tension where’s the trust in the audience to build a slow and nuanced appreciation for the story the characters why aren’t we given time to imagine the Surprises to have to think and to anticipate and then to marvel at the eventual reveal this is storytelling stanley what you and i are doing right now wait i’m going to a and it’s really all because of you you’re the one who took this bold step of revisiting the exact same locations Over and over i mean it this is unique and different it’s not like anything else out there you see i want stories that surprise me stand there i want to have to think yeah i want to be engaged and not pandered to we’re being fed such unimaginative drivel Orders which is why we’re so staffed for content that makes us feel sharp and vital and alive that’s why people like you so much stanley because you’re not afraid to spit in the face of tradition you’re role model you know people look up to you i’m the best which is why oh i Didn’t know when to spring this on you but well i’ve gathered a little press conference for you wait what so that you can talk about your work and your storytelling and your life what yes i know you’re not much for the public eye but i thought it would especially mean a Lot to the people who have been following you from the beginning they really look up to you stanley i don’t know if you realize the impact you have on them okay this is the kind of gesture that might leave a tremendous impact on them for the better oh good we’re here Okay the rumor we’re holding the press conference should be just around the corner here somewhere that’s me all eyes on stanley world’s healthiest human being all tricks revealed how we did it the pyramids the guy who went to he went to mars oh my god these people are pretty interesting so now what When did i go over here an evening with world peace baby world peace got cancelled ah yes here it is just through this door okay let’s open this door wait it doesn’t let me the storyteller stanley reveals all in new book i want to go through here tonight live on stage The man the process the myth the legend the parable stanley from the stanley parable live on stage world’s first sentient machine and it looks like it can jerk you off doing great a conversation with alexander i thought he was dead all right are you ready i’ve told them You’re going to speak a little bit about the nature of surprise in storytelling and what it means to craft a truly unpredictable narrative oh don’t worry you’ll do great just be yourself and speak from the heart i’m i’m really proud of you stanley okay it looks like they’re ready for you Go get them story stanley me dead age six wait what no one tells stories the way you do congratulations stanley remember where you came from your co-workers oh look at that they’re so happy for me damn up again down again the stanley story um listen guys We can take it off sub mode but you guys have to keep telling kept us not telling me where to go let me do what i’m going to do yeah let me do what i’m going to do all right let me let me just experience this as if it was a thing Okay so what if i open this door can i open this door what if i go over here i can’t go over here what if i go over there i can’t go over there what if i do that i can’t do that what if i go in Here and i can’t go in here what if i go in there i can’t go in there okay i have to go up here doing great the lord meet and greet wait wait a second we get to meet jesus okay i was waiting on this holy what the [ __ ] Oh my god Someone was following stanley he was sure of it if he checked over his shoulder now he would surely catch them it was only a matter of time where is he but i i can’t see him but where my god where is he i can’t he’s i didn’t see him though where is he The hell is this okay let’s go down this way when stanley came to a set of two open doors let’s get into the left okay that sounds fine i’ll do that i will actually do that this time okay now what yet there was not a single person here Either right feeling a wave of disbelief stanley decided to go up to his boss’s office hoping he might find an answer there what’s this for why why why is it can i get but i wanted to go and see what’s it doesn’t let me come into a staircase stanley walked Upstairs to his bosses okay let’s go back up there that sounds good okay okay i think we all know the drill by now blah blah blah dark secrets the keypad standing pushes some buttons oh hey look it’s a new passageway kill surprise okay now let’s actually move forward Okay let’s go we’re going to go down now we’re going down now yes we’re speed running it you speed running it for me okay we just want to go ahead and and finish the story and figure out exactly what we’re going to do just kidding all right let’s see what happens If i hit this button again whoops nope never mind stanley actually got back into the elevator and went back up silly me ah i did stanley do that when he knew that it would just lead back to his boss’s office well that was a great Question i just can’t wait to find out i know okay reported same dialogue i know that i know that let’s look over here here we are stanley it’s your boss’s office okay all right exactly the way it was before you okay all right fine fine it’s still just exactly fine what it is The plot of the story in new and fascinating ways i could have never anticipated it’s that okay keen eye for storytelling that you have an incisive all right let’s go back down incredible now he’s getting back into the elevator and going down again okay very [ __ ] Funny how does he keep coming up with all this all right let’s actually move forward now this time all right surely mind control facility let’s go okay the lights rose on an enormous room packed with television screens what horrible secret did this place hold stanley thought to himself did he have The strength to find out no no i’m not going to do that i’m going to be a good boy who doesn’t do anything wrong i’m going to do it right it’s not going to be an issue okay a good boy now the monitors jumped to life their true nature revealed each bore the Number of an employee in the building stanley’s co-workers the lives of so many individuals reduced to images on a screen and stanley one of them eternally monitored in this place where freedom meant nothing fruit wait freedom meant nothing to say in america i tell you that this ain’t america uh uh no shot What’s this now what okay let’s click this button this mind control facility it was too horrible to believe it couldn’t be true had stanley really been under someone’s control all this time was this the only reason he was happy with his boring job that his emotions had been manipulated to accept it blindly No he refused to believe it he couldn’t accept it his own life is utterly blind to the world maybe yeah but here was the proof the heart of the operation controls labeled with emotions happy or sad or content sounds like twitch eating working all of it monitored and commanded from Of his past began to sink in stanley decided that this machinery would never again exert its terrible power over another human life yes for he would dismantle the controls once and for all i will not Ah blackness and a rising chill of uncertainty yeah was it over was it He had won he had defeated the machine unshackled himself freedom was mere moments yes and yet even as the immense door slips yeah dude only reflected on how many puzzles still lay unsolved where had his co-workers gone how had he been freed from the machine’s grouse what other mysteries did this Strange building hold oh my but as sunlight streamed into the chamber he realized none of this mattered to him for it was not knowledge or even power that he had been seeking but happiness perhaps his goal had not been to understand but to let go no longer would anyone tell him where to Go what to do or how to feel whatever life he lives it will be his and that was all he needed to know it was perhaps the only thing worth knowing stanley stepped through the open door no no let’s turn the mind control machine back on yeah let’s turn it back on no I want to turn it on no uh-uh no put me back put me back in my in my cell i i can’t i can’t live out there they’re gonna make me go out here aren’t they stanley felt the cool breeze upon his skin the feeling of liberation The immense possibility of the new path before him this was exactly the way right now that things were meant to happen and stanley was happy but does i really happy what but i thought i thought i was happy why am i in a cubicle again all of his co-workers were gone wait What could it mean what’s that decided to go to the meeting room perhaps he had simply missed a memo wait a second how does this okay Oh new content what does that mean new content i don’t know what is this what is this what the [ __ ] hello and thank you for playing the stanley parable ultra deluxe oh my god as you may know the stanley parable was a video game released in 2013 on home computers wow After receiving critical and commercial success it was expanded upon in 2022 with the stanley parable ultra deluxe consoles and home computers oh my god the stanley parable ultra deluxe features exciting new content that broadcast delighting audiences the world over oh my god please step inside and see what thrilling new adventures Okay the stanley parable ultra all right all right here we go well this sounds delightful yeah i’m very excited to see the thrilling new ultra deluxe content okay let’s see it let me get back in here [ __ ] you i don’t want to see it anymore let me go through the door Okay let me go through this okay all right let me get back on here okay it looks like i have to go through the door okay so far it’s an it’s not that crazy nothing special yet but i’m sure it’s just the beginning of a mesmerizing adventure right um Is it broken what what’s going on here should we but i should we be moving somewhere oh there we go all right finally at long last it’s on to the new content i’ve never been more ready let’s do it okay now i have to say initial impressions of stanley parable ultra deluxe mythic Tedious it’s as if them oh okay let’s see the content give me the content stand there all right all right here we go what all right all right let’s see it’s the jump circle no no is is that it no surely that’s not all the new content there has to be something Else right no i i know but i i want to do i’ll do it right now this is the pacer test i’m back in middle school it’s lit i can’t it doesn’t i can’t that was it that was so good what happened but goodness another elevator stanley i Have to say initial impressions of this game are not positive it’s just elevators and jumping is this what passes for exciting new content yeah it’s called new content then i could just read you the whole dictionary there’s 20 hours of new content right there i could counter 30 trillion you could Put that on the box the stanley parable ultra deluxe now with over a thousand hours of new content that’s a why oh wait there’s more oh very good yeah okay i knew there had to be something else let’s see it i’m ready for whatever it is Thank you for wait what the [ __ ] is this that’s it are you kidding me you see stanley this is what happens when greedy video game developers with no respect for their fan base rush a cheap expansion to market for no reason other than to make an easy Job and don’t get me started on the level of craftsmanship that’s gone into it in fact i’m looking right now at the game’s achievements and it’s hard to believe one of them actually says test achievement please ignore what quality assurance department signed off on this uh i’m infuriated and i’m offended I intend to find these people on twitter and hold them personally i bet you are me it’s my fault stanley i built up too much anticipation around the new content i’m afraid he could never have lived up to such expectations if you’re still with me why don’t we Just read this one no no we’re trying to get back to what the stanley parable is really hey what about the chair no frills no gimmicks about the chair just you and me having a great time together like always what do you say friend wait What i hate mondays again i can’t it’s like mario super 64 mario 64. mario 60 [ __ ] i don’t know how to do that okay i can’t open any of these doors stanley come over here in the venue no i want to show you something oh you don’t want to see the cool Surprise i made for you well fine you’re a dork anyway so who cares [ __ ] you i do hey wait whoa wait a minute hey but why okay let’s go in there let’s go in there or maybe it’s gonna go i’m going in there oh never mind you’re not a dork oh what If i am though are you not are you not gonna say it i think i baited him enough he’s pissed what the [ __ ] okay you remember how cheap and unsatisfying the new ultra deluxe content turned out to be yeah it got me thinking about the past and how much Better the stanley parable used to be let’s think about that too i made something special and tucked it away here where the games developers won’t find it bring back classic secret take a look okay okay let’s go down there all right it’s a dark portal oh my god it’s the dark portal I call it the memory zone it’s where i’ve been storing all my favorite memories so i can relive the peak experiences of my life whenever i want experiences like the launch of the stanley parable on pc whoa wow can i get over this i want to get over this let me out Right here i go up it doesn’t oh come on you just let me get over remy a little bit come on maybe on this rock or something oh my god what is this hello mr president is there a baby in there oh wow what’s that what the [ __ ] You see stanley doesn’t the memory zone remind you of how wonderful stanley parable was before it was solid with a cheap re-release remember back in october of 2013 yeah the game originally launched those were the days then video games had integrity back then it all meant so oh the waste True memory sweet yeah that’s right boys look at that on steam you see that yeah back to where i miss the pandaria don’t forget what these here cargo national geographic graphs oh that’s my favorite one the stanley parable holy [ __ ] oh my god just seeing this box gives me Such [ __ ] nostalgia like anytime you would go to like best buy or something every new copy of like microsoft word would be in this man yeah it’s the original [ __ ] boxes wow independent games festival audience award what’s this it’s mask of the father awarded to bruce stanley’s stanley parable last of us Oh that’s a good idea you just canceled that that’s smart yeah [ __ ] that game fifteen thousand year old ultra conserved words six components of great corporate culture what everyone’s saying buy on steam hey firefox look at that hey we just can’t stop winning i told you guys it was the better Browser back in the good days yeah that’s right the old that’s i still use firefox our first kiss my first car the release of stanley parable oh my god that’s mark twain 2013. it’s a tv i can’t it but it doesn’t it doesn’t let me beat the game remember these guys Bro who remembers these damn bro like dude back whenever we had these that was the day right yeah that was cool wow that was before everything like now everything is uh it’s crypto and so we don’t even know what these are anymore a trip down memory lane smile because it happened It’s a guy on a computer oh my god with the big computer side oh whoa go outside don’t play for five what you get an achievement for not playing the game in five years oh my god british academy award wow what’s this oh that’s where he’s dead i saw that Stanley parable deals tough choices Oh He was a good boy Like this stunning triumph of games journalism 10 out of 10 from destructoid.com what did they say james stephanie sterling writes and i quote we’re so many games that aspire to be more than games end up less than any form of art that’s true stanley parable strives and then succeeds to be every Game ever created was that true was that actually jim sterling every game ever created that’s how grand and all-encompassing the original stanley parable was it was always every game ever created it was skyrim it was persona 3. it was all of them and now it’s nothing it’s no games at all It isn’t even the stanley parable anymore it’s just a husk now a lifeless husk with an hour of new elevator content review the stanley parable how do you review a game like the stanley parable to describe any part of its risk in its ruination to detail what It has to say about game design the illusion of choice the psychology of the gamer is to tell you too much what the [ __ ] flawless victory damn what if i go down here well i can’t why not they don’t let me go anywhere what the [ __ ] okay that’s fine All right i’ll move that around maybe i can’t do anything with that okay i can’t do anything with that the stanley parable i can’t do anything with that what’s this oh i know what that is that’s stanley the original remake holy [ __ ] the greatest wealth is memory the end is never Here’s another moving passage this time from gamespot.com the stanley parable is both a richly stimulating commentary on the nature of choice in games and one that offers some of the most enjoyable surprising and rewarding choices i’ve ever been confronted with in a game nine out of ten don’t you get it The game was perfect it didn’t need anything else it didn’t need new content it just needed to be left alone to spend the rest of time collecting dust in the hallowed hall of beloved video game memories [Applause] the door opened again wait what the hell wait a second let me read this People play games because of what they can do inside them and if your game is very good at letting them know they can’t people play games because of what they can do inside them and your game is very good at letting them know they can’t do anyth oh literally any well [ __ ] There’s another one oh my god this is incredible nine out of ten holy [ __ ] [ __ ] preparing snake preparing snake oil salesman routine okay yeah what’s this the serious room i can’t get in there wait can i get in there i can’t get in there I can’t do that can i open this door no i can’t open that door what these were simpler time stanley yeah but i wouldn’t give to go back to have it all over again true what the hell oh wait hang on what the [ __ ] i don’t recall This part of the memory zone before what the [ __ ] what’s this what’s down here Bro my about to deal with some zombies oh no oh god no it’s a collection of reviews from steam the online video game distributor oh i haven’t looked at these in years i can’t even imagine what’s being collected oh no surely these reviews were glowing as well weren’t they jesus oh no Come on the steam reviews i’m sure some of them were good right oh god Honestly i could not be bothered to play this game to full completion the narrator is obnoxious and unfunny with his humor and dialogue proving to be more irritating than entertaining um funny i’m not trying to be funny i’m trying to make a serious work of art i suppose i Could write up a handful of gags to insert into the stanley parable yeah but the game is already such a densely layered web a profound philosophical insiders but i can’t even imagine where i’d have the room to stick them can i go this way no what is this What if i go over here i’m trying to get out of the map i want to get out of the mouth what is all this oh i’ll go inside here nope okay all right so what if i go over here and okay let’s see what this one says While the idea for the game is good for someone who prefers non-linear games this preachiness gets annoying fast richie stanley i’m not preachy am i oh tell me if i’m preachy honestly you can oh goodness this is actually quite shocking oh i always will to be honest i had always Thought of the game’s dialogue as being rather tears to begin with you don’t know how much fluff i cut from the game to get it to feel as light and airy as it well i always thought it did but maybe it wasn’t oh dear what an awful memory to have to hold on To yeah these black marks are my otherwise unimpeachable track record this is i feel like a failure like i let these people down perhaps the stanley parable isn’t quite as sterling as i always remembered oh my god what is this nothing that’s what it is wait i help me narrator help me i’m I i i can’t get out i broke the game no it’s crouch how okay oh okay all right all right all right okay i made it we’re saved i was about to [ __ ] say more reviews what’s this hmm oh no oh no what’s this one got to say You constantly have to stop doing anything so the narrator can catch up with his long-winded explanations of what’s happening oh i wish there was a skip button a skip button well well yes yes i think we can do that and make it truly too preachy then then Maybe letting you skip ahead for just a moment surely it couldn’t hurt yeah not if it means we can strike these negative reviews from the wretch positive reviews of the stanley tower that’s my motto today and it’s always been my motto i’d do anything for the customer standing yes a skip button we Shall have i can’t run off the edge wait what whoa whoa wait waiter and here it is go ahead and give it a shot i’ll pop you forward in time so that the second minus okay droning starts to bore you with just the push of a button you’ll have zip right past all Right i’ll do it it’s what the players have been asking for that makes sense very proud to have delivered no more listening to me rambling on and on and on no no no yeah the standing trouble is a game for the people right and if the people want silence then by goodness That’s what they’re going to do that makes sense well don’t sit around waiting for me to shut up go ahead and make me shut up here we’ll pretend that i’ve just begun an interminable monologue and it goes something like this the story and the choices or what have You and therefore by becoming it is so on and so forth until inevitably we all until the end of time at which time everything rolled once so now you see blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah we’ve eaten too much and it can’t be Just yet known until 245 that the logic of elimination working backwards the deduction therefore becomes impossible to manufacture it went on for nearly ten thousand years that’s all just yesterday here and there forward and back and never a moment before lunchtime oh i did that it’s the only thing there is how many Billions left until so much more than forever ago which is why i say the story and the choices or what have you and therefore by becoming it is so on and so forth until inevitably we all until the end of time at which time everything rolled once so now you see We’ve eaten too much and it can’t be just yet no i’m not going to do it 244 that the logic of elimination working backwards the deduction therefore becomes impossible to manufacture i want to do for nearly 10 000 years until until so much more than forever ago which is why i say The story and the choices or what have you and therefore by becoming it is so on and so forth until inevitable are they saying the same thing over and over time at which time everything rolled once so now you see blah blah blah i think it’s repeating ten thousand You were only frozen in time for a few minutes but it was plenty of time for me to deliver a long rambling monologue full of unnecessary verbal flourishes and lengthy ruminations on the nature of choice in video games yeah of course i happen to believe it was perhaps one of My more profound such ruminations not that of course you need a description of it but if i had to describe it i’d say it was perhaps less of a rumination and more of a treatise okay or maybe a manifesto oh look i’ll outline it for you You can tell me what you think okay so my theory is that any choice you’ve ever made oh well there’s sport you really did catch me rambling on a bit dude i have the [ __ ] of the power of the button yeah the minute i start to go off on a Thoughtless display of self-absorption it’s right at your fingertips am i hearing a horse it’s all over oh i can’t wait to see what cookie nine will say about this and whether they’ll edit the rating of their steam review yeah or at least change some of the wording perhaps [ __ ] them to be honest i don’t even know if one can change their review in the first place i guess i should become better educated on exactly how steam works perhaps that would have been the smart thing to check on before i went about this whole exercise of making the skip That would make sense although i have to imagine that okay welcome back stanley now i should say that the amount of time the button has been skipping through is becoming longer and longer that last one was uh well i want to say maybe 30 45 minutes right it’s not unendurable by any means But it’s well there’s really only so much i can ramble on to myself about it i know it’s shocking isn’t it but at any rate i do suggest that we not press the button again i think stanley stannis stanley please don’t push the button again it’s been 12 hours Uh you’ve just been frozen there yeah i don’t know why the skips are getting longer but they’re really truly getting number oh my god there’s no way out of the room stanley the door is gone it’s completely gone oh what i’ve looked at it from every angle i’ve checked is it there it Should be maybe it’s behind a thousand times maybe it’s behind here it should be right behind here there’s no door it’s just you and the button and if you keep pressing it i have no idea what will happen i have no idea how long i’ll be made to sit here Oh stanley you’re back what you’re back oh my goodness oh my i have someone to talk to again stanley i i think it’s been a week or two weeks i’ve been sitting here all my time just sitting here not a single person this is terrifying and you’d think that that’s Just how it’s always been should i do it again too i’m gonna do it again you saying no i’m gonna do it again [ __ ] would you think that it’s exactly the same as always yes doesn’t that feel like what we’ve already been doing me just oh hello it’s you you’re here again welcome Hi i have had time to think about you and about us and about everything we’ve been through i’ve had so much time i stopped keeping track after a year have you ever sat down in one place and not moved for one entire year yeah let me Describe it for you to begin this chair there is only regret there is only the turning wheel of missed opportunities i felt nothing at all but regret for the longest time stanley days months Bye what’s happening what’s behind there where he’s he is he gone he’s dead there’s no way he’s dead that’s not possible it changed the clock that’s all what the hell wait what the heck is it’s a fire alarm turn off the battery jesus chris turn off but they didn’t Understand the game was never meant to be funny to have a point it was meant to speak to the human condition but where are the jokes where are the jokes they belong they screamed they gnashed their teeth and said entertain us yeah it wasn’t enough they had to leave a Pathetic little thumbs down review all of their pitiful demands pathetic he’s talking too much they said first he didn’t entertain us now he went shut up it’s the inconsistency it’s the lack of accountability it’s the unwillingness to examine with an uncompromising heart the words that they are speaking into the world As though there were no consequences for a lack of cohesion in one’s assessment of others but of course absolutely anyone can leave the review so here’s what we get we get these demands that seek everything and are accountable to nothing we get a world where someone Will say oh there should be a skipper you should be able to freeze stanley in place while the narrator sits there forever and ever we want all of this in the new stanley parable we demand it yeah and then because it was said because it was spoken it must be it Simply has to happen exactly the most immediate desires every single thing demanded by every person at every moment in time if someone wants it then it’s a crime not to bring it into being we shut this [ __ ] into indulging every female we shut this an [ __ ] or than to do so yes Yes it seems that this is now the world we live in it seems that we are a people living in such bleakness and discomfort with ourselves that our entertainment is now our lives yeah it has come to represent us it absolutely must speak to who we are as people because otherwise Without our entertainment we have nothing without entertainment we would have to face inward toward the cruel bleakness inside ourselves we would turn to look at our deeper nature and find a resounding emptiness gazing back with unyielding aggression and so so because of this we require that our amusements And our playthings and our flights of fancy be so impossibly captivating that they consume all of our attention turn our heads completely away from the bleakness in effect we have demanded that our entertainment be the collapse of ourselves what a pitiful reflection of humanity these entertainments are what a shameful Human spirit they project holy [ __ ] i’m not mad about any of this i’m at peace with it i am the king center of gravity this sounds like my streams hurt themselves yes of course they’ve been jealous of me this i said that earlier today that’s fear and insecurity absolutely Help but attempt to tear me down they do that every day on reddit when you read these reviews now you can see yeah you can taste the bitterness It must be that they were so discontent with themselves they couldn’t help but leave and they had to do on steam perhaps it says far more about them than it ever said about me perhaps the state of their psychological being was in and my constitution and willpower are so Ironclad in comparison perhaps it was i stated that they sought some outlet through which to tear me that’s on reddit this you can see it’s clear why they felt the need to expect that the game be funny it’d be filled with yucks and whimsical humor horses that it Amused them endlessly from start to finish static but they didn’t understand the game was never meant to be funny it was meant to have a point it was meant to speak to the human condition but where are the jokes where are the jokes they’ve been emotional i’ve already seen this it’s looped oh Uh but what uh does it work no more no don’t let’s look around let’s look around real quick we’ll see if there’s anything special over here oh that’s crazy look at that wow the alarm died yeah thank god for that the end is never the end is never the End is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never The end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end well now what what’s this what’s this um what the [ __ ] was that this got this wait oh my god What the [ __ ] happened it’s been 500 years i don’t know about that i i’m afraid to even hit it again what’s gonna happen oh it’s a nice day can i leave i can’t i’m stuck here i’m i can’t go any i can’t go anywhere um hit it again now what Wow Can we eat the berries let’s try to eat the bear oh it doesn’t let me eat the berries it’s a hundred thousand years are there any dinosaurs up there oh my god wait they’re all dead now oh no they’re dead okay let’s hit it again Again oh my god it doesn’t work anymore do i leave the house Oh my What the [ __ ] oh my god what happens if i get on the house it doesn’t let me run okay i’ll run let’s run i’ll follow the rocks All of his co-workers were gone oh my god stanley decided to go to the meeting room perhaps he had simply missed a memo oh my god the end is never the end this game is a trip what wait new new what oh good you noticed my son i did yes i Have something very exciting to show you no shot what the hell this is incredible i already went until the end of time i feel like that’s pretty good isn’t it yeah you see stanley i’ve been reflecting on the stanley parable and about how roundly disappointing this ultra deluxe version has turned out Stanley parable was a landmark and any new content for it should live up to that legacy so forget this ultra deluxe nonsense i say we take it one step even further okay which is why i’m very proud to announce for the first time ever the stanley parable two Holy [ __ ] the end is never the end again yes you see isn’t this far superior to a measly re-release with a few minor additions think of all the new territory we’ll cover with a fully fledged thing an entirely new experience built from the ground up why there’s so many Possibilities it could go in so many different directions this is what fans have truly oh my god what is this post-its it’s like the periodic table calling it the stanley parable 2 is just so much catchier than ultra deluxe don’t you that’s what blizzard said what does it even mean but the stanley Parable tomb yeah now that’s an artistic statement right here look at this new age and everything it screams progress and in the back and long-term franchising oh my god this is incredible look at this look at these new ideas new content is out new content part two is in Boring sections of the chart cool red section of the chart yeah the other stuff was dumb oh my god what is this here what does this say just the two of us we can make it if we tried just the two of us meeting at 2 p.m oh i get it because It’s stanley parable 2. it’s the left and the right brain and then there’s the third Now to be clear i haven’t quite nailed down what exactly the stanley parable 2 is going to be but let’s take a look at some of the features i’ve been developing for okay let’s see it i figure that if i can loosely organize a handful of interesting concepts that Surely the game will sort of naturally spring up around them it’ll all work itself out game development is much more of a fuzzy magic than anything scientific or logical sequels are good portal 2 half-life 2 batman arkham asylum 2 divinity original sin to doom to aladdin to dark oh no oh no It’s gonna suck oh no oh no man i this is just uh i don’t i don’t know about this one guys like you are the sequel wait that’s a bird but it’s supposed to be apple this way to the show valued investors that’s us new features new content oh wow two that’s me Holy [ __ ] [ __ ] here we are go on try out some of the new features okay the button that says the name of the player that is playing the game hear your name in the game okay for the stanley parable 2 i asked myself what do players really want And of course the first and most obvious answer is that they want to be individually recognized and validated as people yeah so with that in mind my first addition to the game is this button which speaks the name of the person playing the game isn’t that wonderful uh let’s see what it does Oh my god it’s time name here’s yours today jim sorry i should have clarified right now the button only says the name jim but of course in the final game this button will say your name whatever name that is here let’s have you role players gym to really simulate the full experience of This feature just play along i promise you’ll love it okay here we go let’s take a deep breath clear your mind forget whoever you are and simply become a person named jim i want you to imagine yourself living as jim sleeping and waking as jim falling in love and being heartbroken as jim Seizing all of the world’s possibilities as jim and his gym watching your dreams crumble into dust do you feel it deeply are you really truly gym right now yes if so then please step forward and press the button i am jim jim you’ll see what a thrill what a rush that was you That’s pretty cool i mean yeah do it again do it again it hits even harder the second time oh my god the only new feature in the stanley parable too it would still be worth the money true let’s take a break from the gym button i’m too emotionally Drained from all of this personal validation oh there cowboy sometimes a person can be too much jim no there’s nothing i’m putting the gym button away otherwise soon you’ll start to get all sense of who you actually are what i can’t do it anymore i i i can’t no i’m i They took it away from me what the [ __ ] was that man that’s not fair at all now what do i go over this way i think i do or yeah am i still gem or not i suppose i could allow only people named jim to play the stanley parable too that would Actually save me the work of finishing this feature screenshots red is the new orange consistent quality with just the right amount of change i screenshot it guys the button that says the name of the player jump circle infinite hole new holy [ __ ] [ __ ] oh my god what is this Jump circle that’s exit well where’s the jump circle wait a second i want to find that you can find them where do we find it ah collectibles now it’s a real video game in the stanley parable 2 you’ll run around gathering up these miniature stanley figurines and what’s truly innovative is That there will be no reward for collecting all of them i don’t want to stifle the intrinsic joy of watching a number go up you simply collect all of them and then you move the hell on with your unremarkable life i did this in lost ark they’re called mochako seats I know what this is what is this am i moving i am i’m moving wait what is this what it looks like and where people are trying to get an achievement oh my god oh wow i got one oh that’s awesome [ __ ] yeah dude wow that was pretty cool God it really is the worst when you collect everything in a video game and then they give you a big fancy reward for it absolutely tragic what’s this in free achievements wait oh wait wait there’s a free achievement just a minute the stanley parable 2 with the trophy Uh get yours right now pull the level receive your new achievement no more steps it just works now here’s something special you remember that broken test achievement that got left in the game on accident well i’m developing a technology to simply give you the achievement yes you See you’ll come to this lever and when you pull it the achievement will be given to you it’s as simple as that i don’t believe it okay perhaps i should have clarified this is technology that will exist right now the achievement is still fully broken i’m not a wizard stanley but i Guarantee it will be fixed in the sequel to at least satisfy the hordes of ravenous fans all over the world who have been uproariously demanding this feature gamers we hear you i’ve heard that before we hear you okay so where’s the jumping circle what else what other exhibits haven’t we Seen here what about the jumping circle what’s this you know what let’s bring the jump circle back for stanley parable 2 as well oh wait you already spent all your jumps the first time we saw the jump circle hmm oh well i suppose it can just be a nice decorative piece then It doesn’t work i i can’t do any more jumps like i i i settings world champion infant settings world champion wait what settings i can’t it doesn’t let me just buy more jumps and marry shop infinite hole okay what’s the infinite hole no wait what’s this i don’t think i’ve been here before Okay i’ll be honest i haven’t yet decided on this one i think that in the new version the office could use a bit of decoration like balloons but i’m undecided on get well someday and happy 12th birthday oh which would you go with uh yes i would but i can’t even oh Oh oh you know sometimes when you solicit another person’s opinion it makes you realize that you knew which one you actually really wanted all along someday it is are you kidding me dude are you [ __ ] kidding me okay so can i go out through here maybe i should have gone with no No i’ve made my decision on oh my god that’s what we’re doing today the stanley parable reassurance bucket the end is never the end again this t-shirt is the best new feature two i saw the new content they’re back two doors new content the compendium scan the qr code i can’t Yeah i don’t know how that works do it scan the code i don’t even know where it oh there it is okay i’ll try and do it um so should i try to should i try to uh sky i scan it how does it i don’t know how to do a qr code Oh i thought i downloaded something that said qr code scanner uh where did it go just use your camera it doesn’t work with your browser in the url use my camera app but it doesn’t work it doesn’t scan it won’t it won’t do it yeah it doesn’t maybe it’s because oh Web address stanley parable 2 what wait what the [ __ ] a person named asmongold is currently exploring the exhibit they are reading what the [ __ ] they’re reading this right now a sequel huh that’s my god look it actually is me what is this open on pc okay give me a second um What the [ __ ] uh see there timmy what’s that you’re enjoying why it’s breakfast of course everyone loves breakfast what did you know that breakfast is getting a sequel that’s right it’s called lunch and critics are raving that lunch will be everything breakfast was and more yeah With a little luck we may even get a trilogy series out of it see you know what a sequel is don’t you timmy why sequels are the world’s way of clinging helplessly to the past we all want more of the things we love and we’re all afraid of change which is what Makes sequels so popular new ideas are dangerous to me yeah this eager-minded young thinker is just 29 years old that’s why we have sequels to keep us couched in the familiar and the comfortable sequels are the bedrock of a healthy functional society and if you look around you you’ll find them everywhere You go yeah for instance this man is developing a sequel to the automobile which we’ll call the vertical automobile oh my god this impractical invention and in two days time the man will be publicly stoned to death for his crimes against gravity that’s true not all sequels are God didn’t make airplanes he wouldn’t want he was the man who invented breathing which is the sequel to suffocating and dying a slow death i heard about that even your parents are getting a sequel to me their names are rob and jessica and they’ll be taking care of you once your original parents Are sent back in time to fight a secret war for the government sequels can be very fashionable this young woman is wearing five shirts at once which is the sequel to wearing four shirts at once i’ve seen okay look at becky over there wearing only two shirts At once get with the times becky in fact there is only one single thing in the world that isn’t a sequel it’s this we don’t know what it is or why it exists but it’s the prequel from which all sequels are derived and just like everything else the Stanley parable is getting a sequel too we all know of course that it was your favorite game as a child don’t you remember those long lazy afternoons you spent playing the stanley parable watching your precious youth fritter away hour after hour we’ve all wasted our childhoods in one way or another and You were fortunate enough to get to waste yours on the stanley parable okay but the stanley parable came out years ago and you’re not a child this is actually funny you’re a man which is like the sequel to a child and as a man you want manly things like taxes and Cheating a baseball yeah you need a man’s video game timmy well this second one and that’s why the stanley parable 2 will be perfect for you it’s as manly as video games can get oh [ __ ] if you don’t believe me let’s look at the burly hunk Of a man who’s responsible for the game okay here he is hard at work his name is gregory apec and he’s the cutting pitcher of raw viral masculinity gregory is what we call the ideas ideas guy tirelessly comes up with interesting concepts and then hands them After the rest of the developers for the relatively simple job of turning those concepts into reality what for example he’s the one who picked up the phone and declared someone ought to make a sequel to the stanley parable but it’s good work gregory go ahead and take the rest Of the day off i with the hard part out of the way work on the game can now begin the game’s developers must answer a single question what makes a sequel in the first place well it’s simple sequels are an opportunity to correct the mistakes of their predecessors we’ve all Made mistakes and we’ve all caused harm to someone we know of in order to cover up makes perfect sense absolutely when developing this particular sequel it’s important to start by thinking what mistakes did the original stanley parable make absolutely well first off most of the pornography in the original Game was stolen or pirated i didn’t see the time we played the last fair and square sucks second the snarly parable was catastrophic for this man named leroy whose personal information including home address social security number and bank information were all displayed prominently in multiple locations throughout the game Although leroy’s money and identity were stolen the fact remains that his personal information was the emotional core of the game absolutely vital to a nuanced understanding of the story as reparation for the harm we caused him the sequel will contain a brief and insincere apology to leroy deep within the game Where it will be difficult to find yeah finally the stanley parable made the mistake of leaking too many government secrets about the nature of the time wars without these intricate details of specific military tactics the story is likely to make very little sense but we’ve decided to remove them from the Sequel in the interest of helping the state’s efforts we’ll get to you yet time dracula now then it’s time to set about constructing this stanley parable 2. game development is a difficult and complex art one which can only be fully understood by this race of hyper-intelligent child soldiers bred in Laboratories what they begin by studying the original stanley parable here it is in its raw untouched form of technological refreshing again time to exploit it for profit we begin by adding jokes the stanley parable was most widely known for its stark lack of humor bugging all conventional industry wisdom It was a bold artist’s statement that its developers stood firmly behind but in 2022 it’s impossible even a single consumer of video games without jokes of some kind so very well jokes it’ll be during its development over 500 kiloliters of comedy will be funneled directly into the core of the stanley parish Creating jobs for hundreds of machine operators and producing 30 000 tons of pollutant chemical byproduct which will be pumped directly into local lakes rivers and beautiful nature reserves like these all over the country that’s delicious another common complaint of the stanley parable is that there was gameplay and so for the sequel its Developers have gone to great lengths to fix this problem right here we can see gameplay being printed under sheets every video game contains as many as a thousand sheets of gameplay and several of the largest games ever made contain close to 1500 on mobile devices the gameplay sheets have to be printed Smaller for the stanley parable to as many as 35 gameplay sheets are being printed each of which must be delicately massaged by the hands of a child before being added into the game this man is stealing gameplay sheets from the factory which he likely intends to use for a personal project he’s been Developing in his spare time a good public standing will cure him of that inclination good for him let’s check on gregory real quick okay ah still recovering from a hard day’s work don’t you move a muscle next up it’s time to blackmail the press in a competitive market blackmailing Your local journalist can be one of the most effective methods of creating word-of-mouth buzz via sequel bobby talked about blackmail is the currency bobby knows about this from you yes to the teacher at your school to the man who helped you steal hbo everyone responds to blackmail and if you’ve Never done it before it’s easy to practice at home with your friends and family simply follow the instructional pamphlet that your teacher hands out after the end of the film and finally there’s one last tool at our disposal for making the sequel feel fresh and exciting that’s packaging the game with collector’s edition Merchandise if you order the stanley parable 2 you’ll receive this cow’s egg a single egg will produce over a thousand cows which are of course the sequel to pigs and there you have it everything there is to know about producing the stanley parable ii of course you may know that there is also The stanley parable ultra deluxe so which game is the true sequel to the stanley parable it’s an excellent question billy one which the child soldiers have been working round the clock to come up with an answer to and after many weeks of diligent research the conclusion they’ve reached is who gives a [ __ ] All that matters is that it’s more content for you to cram down your insatiable gullet you know thoughtful and nuanced answers to complex questions billy you just want to eat bubble gum and cheated hopscotch so get out there and conceive [ __ ] them dude do your civic duty and bully your parents into Buying your way every version of the stanley parable too click tell your friends to bully their parents as well it’s through community efforts like these that the world comes together in harmony and connection refreshing only through this connection that will defeat time dracula don’t let the time traveling vampires Win by the stanley parable 2 and pledge to support all sequels for today tomorrow and into the great unknowable beyond wow that was a nuclear bomb oh no different text wait what does it say wait wait what what’s this a warning live feed recursion detected please follow and reach out to crows crows Crows on twitter for tech support it i i what about this the reassurance bucket what’s this a common complaint of the stanley parable was that it was confusing and paradoxical yeah that it engendered a chaotic sense of reckless despair in those who played it well i’m happy to say that after much Consideration i’ve engineered a clever solution to this fundamental problem and what would that be it’s the stanley parable reassurance bucket okay you see stanley anytime you’re holding the bucket a sense of calm and ease will fill your mind that makes things easier it’s true As long as you hold on to the bucket the many disorienting contradictions of the stanley parable will feel perfectly normal oh my god even comforting or we may even come to long for this i want to hold it give it jarring cognitive dissonance while the bucket is in yeah true It’s a much more convenient solution for me than actually redesigning the game to be less uncomfortable yeah can you imagine what a pain in the ass that would be exactly the bucket is the perfect solution it’s a great band-aid give it a try okay [Laughter] can you feel it The glow of comfort even in the face of crushing despair must already be sweeping through your body and in fact can i say that i do believe the bucket lends you an air of charisma as well i think that just holding it has made you the slightest bit more attractive as A person what the benefits of the bucket seem to go on and on didn’t i suppose so all this and more await you in the stanley parable too oh does anyone give out awards for most enjoyable bucket in a video game that really should not yet reward if it isn’t already i Is the bucket wait i can’t i it’s just mine now i’m stuck with it what’s this what is this stanley here’s an idea that i’m truly fond of it’s never been done before in a video game okay this is in fact a hole that you can fall down forever wow Infinite falling you can fall until the end of time if you like a stunning leap forward for video games as a medium Should i jump um you see isn’t it wonderful one of my more ingenious concoctions i do say so now then since you’ve gotten to see the infinite oh my god we can press the teleport button to pop back up to the top and we can continue onward Well what if it what if it ends though hmm now i don’t mean to be what if it ends but i do recommend you use the teleport button to go back to what if i hit the ground maybe do it on the sooner rather than later yeah yeah i know [ __ ] that I’m gonna make it okay stanley i don’t know quite how to say this tactfully but it’s possible that i slightly exaggerated the infinite nature of the hole is it a very very deep hole to be certain it is let’s find out it’s an extremely deep pearl i don’t want anyone To say that it isn’t an astonishing one oh oh it is is it infinite i don’t know well that sort of depends on your definition of infinity from one perspective the infinite is merely philosophical in nature it’s more of a okay well good for you you found the Bottom of the hole you found me out stanley oh my cheat and you’re so clever yeah i think the issue here is just that you’re unusually fascinated by falling what normal person actually wants to fall infinitely i figured the hull was as deep as anyone would actually need Don’t you put this on me maybe you’re the problem no look things got a little heated there i think we both said some things it’s a new mug yeah why don’t we just put all this behind us and agree to just call the whole mostly infinite false advertising for You then go ahead and press the teleport button to warp up to the top of the hole and we can move on i’ll just be up here when you’re ready i’m gonna wait here for a minute i’m gonna see if he’s gonna say anything else yeah i’m gonna wait here yeah Refresh page okay that’s the same thing it’s gone got uh have i been got have i actually been got like is that [ __ ] i cannot believe this [ __ ] that actually is pretty good that that’s good refresh i i can’t [ __ ] believe this man how is that for you it’s pretty [ __ ] good I’ll i’ll grant you that it was pretty [ __ ] good yeah that was good great now i’m very excited to show you even more of my ideas for the sequel okay mostly oh they had to change it for for the advertising reasons to be uh compliant oh for heaven You see yeah i was right the problem is you what do you mean the problem is that you like holes too much yeah i sure do a normal person would have said yep that’s an infinite hole right there goes on forever till the end of time don’t Need to see it all but not you oh no no no no you have a weird sword yeah oh did the hole seem even shorter to you this time i couldn’t help but feel like you spent a little less time in there than you did before i mean admittedly i Didn’t make an infinite hole thank you i didn’t think it was that not infinite well i suppose once again there’s nothing to do here if you decide you’ve had enough of a hole you can hit the nice guy join me up above had enough i’m positively thrilled I really do have so much more to squash how could i you’re back in the hole yep is this i’m in again wow okay yes i’m starting to become extremely certain but the whole is not only not infinite but that it’s growing steadily less and less infinite yeah i suspect that i’m Starting to hit the point where it’s no longer feasible to call the whole infinite leader that would be true and by the lacks overall standards for accountability and marketing absolutely what’s going on here stanley i have no explanation for the uncertain nature of the hole’s length here let’s try Something okay let’s pop back up to the top and we’ll see if it gets any shorter well there it is the shame of my lie has come to haunt me not only is the hole not infinite but it’s barely evil how is this still appealing to you I know you’re obsessed with holes but at this depth i just can’t see this scratching the itch you just do whatever it is you’re here to do and hit the teleport button when you’re ready to move on Hmm it’s not working um teleport button not working what the [ __ ] why not you sure well i mean i really don’t have an explanation i’m starting i’m working just a moment wait try it again i i’m hitting about still nothing well i suppose i i suppose there is one thing i can do I’m softlocked again goodbye stanley hey you couldn’t bear to be away from the home okay and now you’ll get more time with it than you could ever have asked for it’s a win for everyone you get to be with the whole i get to do literally anything else okay Take care stanley this is [ __ ] have a wonderful rest of eternity together i’m i’m stuck i’m actually i i can’t wha what get [ __ ] What the [ __ ] Oh my god i can’t press g i can’t do anything Oh my god stop it What change your perspective [Applause] What the hell the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] I can’t move change your reality wait h okay change my reality What’s this Change yourself Wait what the [ __ ] is that oh my god i’m upside down What the [ __ ] is this Oh okay i got from nickelodeon i’m hey arnold she i look like Stanley stanley a [ __ ] mischief oh good you’re awake it seems you had sort of dozed off there drifting away into dreamland but we can’t have that stanley because this hole is just so darn fascinating yeah i want you to be wide awake for every second of it let me Out i don’t want to miss a single one let me out i don’t want to be in a hole about if i just pop in from time to time and wake you up to keep you really true let me out of the hole for the looks of things you and i will Have many many years here in this whole and i’m looking forward to all of them stay alert stanley i’ll be back but i am i gonna go down again let me out let me out let me out here we are go on try out some of the new features holy [ __ ] what’s this Epilogue an epilogue would be fun wouldn’t it stanley yeah yes yes it would go at the end of the um well we’ll figure that out later yeah mostly infinite hole guys let’s go back to the hole let’s go back to the hole let’s see what’s in the hole Depth infinite really let’s see about that yeah i don’t believe that wait a minute it doesn’t let me go in i how do i how do i even how does i how did i how do i it’s closed it’s closed off i can’t get in there The jump circle i can’t do that that’s new that’s new wow free achievement i did that i did this i wonder if there’s five more we should collect those jump circle what’s this exit now what i didn’t go this way what’s this all right have you seen everything you Wanted to ready to move on now yes yes i has i’m gonna take the right door so stanley what do you think do you like all of the new features yes how exactly these features will come together as one single coherent video game but I can feel it in my soul it’s going to work there’s definitely a good game in there somewhere say let’s do an experiment i’ll arrange these new features together and we’ll see whether or not it coheres into a meaningful gameplay experience Okay are you ready yes here it is i give you the stanley parable too wow um well um i mean there’s potential here right wow sort of okay never mind that’s crazy hold on let me do a different arrangement oh okay yes yes this is much Better i feel good about this here we go version two that’s pretty who am i kidding stanley this isn’t a coherent video game at all it’s a lot of gags and i do very much enjoy creating gags but they don’t add up to anything i wanted more than anything to create a Sequel that would capture all the magic of the first game rearrangement i wanted fans to love it no matter how good these gags are they wouldn’t stand on their own they would need the structure in the gameplay of the original wait maybe that’s it i can take the original stanley parable And simply well insert a few of my new features into it peacefully of course with respect with care for the vision and integrity of the original games and then it possibly worked just bring it out again but it would need a really really tremendous title screen a title Screen that says with bold and uncompromising conviction this is the stanley parable too let me see if i can whip something up all right perfect go ahead take a look let’s see it What what i this is the story of a man named stanley Stanley worked for a company in a big building where he was employees this is a new game employee number four wayne’s job was simple he sat at his desk in room 427 and he pushed buttons on the of every year this was in the first place well others might have considered it Stanley relished every moment that the orders came in this is the same exactly for this job and stanley was happy that’s great and then one day something very peculiar happened something that would forever change stanley oh my something he would never quite forget this is in the same game When he realized that not one single order had arrived on the monitor for him to follow no one had showed up to give him instructions call a meeting or even say hi never in all his years of the company had this happen holy [ __ ] something was very clearly wrong Shocked frozen solid stanley found himself unable to move for the longest time yeah but as he came to his wits and regained his senses he got up from his desk and stepped out of his office all of his co-workers were gone what could it mean stanley decided to go to the meeting Room perhaps he had simply missed a memo It’s the bucket stanley picked up the bucket great that’s good right okay and then i went this way stanley clutched the bucket tightly to his chest and entered the door on his left right okay and then i went in through here still no one was here stanley needed the buckets warmth and Comfort now more than ever perhaps his boss’s office was where he’d find answers oh stanley can you feel it the broom closet it wants the bucket no you can feel that can’t you the aura of jealousy yeah right i can really feel it now yeah why it it belongs in a broom closet That’s what the broom closet is absolutely not supposed to go with the other cleaning supplies good for you stanley don’t give him don’t hand over the bucket i know how hard it must be it’s different given the pressure that the broom closet is putting on your shoulders right now but You have to be strong this is yours i’m a man this is your company a warrior and lifelong friend you can’t hand it over oh no we’re getting into name-calling now it seems is this how low the broom closet has sunk that it has to resort to this Stream of petty insults simply in order to get you to hand over the bucket stanley i never liked this broom closet for a variety of reasons but even this is worse than i had imagined and wait now the broom closet has the goal to imply that you and the bucket Are not truly deep and lasting friends that your relationship is purely superficial and convenient that your life is so null and meaningless that you’d feel the same sort of kinship towards any inanimate object which happened to lay in your path in an even partially enticing manner well i’ve never Go on stanley oh my stay into it really tell the broom closet off for its demeaning comments what the expand on the wide variety of experiences you and the bucket have shared together go through each of them point by point share your journal entries detailing the rich emotional message now that you Mentioned it there wasn’t really much for me to do they have changed and evolved over the years let him have it i did [ __ ] you it’s mine now what okay i’ve got you something which i think will help settle this debate once and for all okay here we go there Now it’s settled no more debate no more discussion take a hike how about that you’re meandering perfect guys about the nature of cleaning supplies and their relationship to broome closets in the natural order of things oh my god oh i’m not going anywhere all right i’ve got a second sticker back Here and i’m going to slap it on as well because i think it’s appropriate okay you see i feel that it works because the sticker is also a bucket that way if you’re ever unsure whether you’re holding it thank you or not you can look down at this sticker and say to Yourself oh it’s a bucket there really is a wide variety of applications for this sticker yes cameron with the 10 gifted subs thank you so much so do i get a third sticker now where’s my third sticker you know what i could take the name calling and the dismissal Of your kinship with the bucket but now the broom cross it is just giving us a sign oh my god i can’t be honest i’m sick of the pettiness on display you can stay here all you like but i’ve had it with this impetulant room of cleaning supplies easily the most Childish such room i’ve ever been in i’ll see you outside and we can get on with the story about you and your bucket jesus okay so now what i’m not gonna leave i won’t leave come back give me another sticker i need another sticker hey hey i can’t trick him again Get out of the closet okay coming to a staircase stanley and the bucket walked upstairs to the boss’s office right and then we went in here stepping into his manager’s office stanley was once again stunned to discover not an indication of any human life okay crushed by the weight of this Revelation stanley may have broken down into an emotional dumpster fire if not for the soothing presence of the bucket yeah even now in his darkest of hours did the bucket’s warmth and guiding light pierce the dark clouds of confusion and chaos it would be with him always the bucket would And he knew it the two of them were inseparable at this point stanley was so absorbed in the tender spiritual connection he shared with the bucket that he didn’t notice the keypad behind the boss’s door oh wow nor in his bliss of simply being near the bucket did he have any notion That the pin number for the keypad was two eight four five now what but stanley guessed the correct code by shielding damn was it the [ __ ] i really got lucky there huh was the bucket guiding oh my god yes this is certainly the most logical exit wow okay let’s all go through here Now what the elevator raced downward plummeting towards an unknown fate it would be all stanley could do to keep himself together if not for the bucket thank god for that him comforting him reassuring that in this darkest moment of uncertainty he would be all right absolutely the bucket is here for you Stanley everything will be fine okay stanley and the bucket walked straight ahead through the large door that read mind control facility [Applause] what this is just an enormous room what horrible secret did this place hold stanley and the bucket both wondered to themselves it’s it’s the same game They they have the it’s it’s the same game they just added one thing with a sticker on it the monitors jumped to life and stanley nearly dropped the bucket it’s not even a secret everyone in the office was being videotaped monitored like guinea pigs the bucket had never seen anything like This and it very nearly burst into two features reassuring it that everything would be fine was the bucket under the mind control facility’s influence as well had the bucket been told to do things it didn’t wish to do what kinds of things does a Bucket want to do or not want to do in the first place these questions raised furiously in stanley’s feeble mind what the [ __ ] no he screamed into the bucket he couldn’t accept it i his own life in someone else’s control he squeezed the bucket tighter yeah his One friend in the entire world that’s me at this point he could trust no one except for the bucket okay is it time but here was the proof the heart of the operation controls labeled with emotions or sad or intent walking eating working all of it monitored and commanded from this very place And as the cold reality of his past began to sink in stanley decided that this machinery would never again exert its terrible power over another human life for he and the bucket would dismantle the controls for good two best friends stanley in the bucket up against the world They high-fived in a really cool way wow the bucket made a sassy comment about taking down the system hell yeah brother so we go this way now right oh we’ve done this okay so when at last they came to the source of the room’s power stanley and the bucket Knew it was their obligation to put an end to this horrible place and to everything it stood for i i think we turn it off i think we turned it off guys like that’s got to be it all right poet poet you guys get to decide do i turn it off or on Offer on 50 simple 50 majority wins i will do what you want i will be the executor of your will yep go ahead let me see what this is okay 52 oh my god 52 to 48 okay we’ll see what’s gonna happen i’ll give you guys just a minute it’s 50 50 Now let’s see what we’ve got you guys are going to decide in just a minute let me go ahead and look i don’t want to decide yet i’m not going to pick yet i’m going to let you guys decide and go with what you’re going to go with okay All right most people say off slightly we will click on off all right here we go people are saying on now wait now they’re saying on wait what oh okay oh wait no now now off no now off is all right we’re going off okay stanley in the bucket waited in blackness Nice try They had done it stanley and the bucket had defeated their greatest and darkest enemy freed themselves from the dynamical grip of the evil mind control machine freedom was now mere moments away excitedly the two of them began to discuss the kind of life they wanted to live once they stepped through this Massive door okay the bucket wanted to learn to roller skate what stanley wanted to sneeze in every country on earth both of them wanted to begin watching a movie any movie but then stop it halfway through and begin watching it in reverse from the end true it was a simple life they Envisioned but it was one they’d lived together with one another to lean on to trust to support what what wait what was happening why had the door stopped yeah what was stanley in the bucket not about to be free what happened an unbearable silence filled the room what the [ __ ] lingering in uncertainty Until finally the truth hit stanley square in the face this building did not want the bucket to leave oh no even the facility itself recognizes the bucket needed the soothing warmth of the bucket will go to any lengths not the part with the bucket i’ve got it no no no Stanley can’t leave this place not while he has such a precious bucket in his arms i not while this building has anything to say about it stanley realized he would never again need i can’t even see where i’m at but at least at least he has the bucket To be trapped eternally in darkness isn’t really so bad stanley thought to himself as long as i have my bucket with that sounds awfully okay won’t i stanley goat very soon now he was about to find out Oh my [ __ ] god It’s there when stanley came i don’t know what i thought he entered the door on his left i [ __ ] [ __ ] how did this happen is not the correct way to the meeting room and stanley knew it perfectly that’s true perhaps he wanted to stop by the employee lounge First just to admire it okay the lounge was sublime a work of art right what was it about this room that called so but eager to get back to business stanley took the first open door on his left okay stanley was so bad at following directions it’s incredible he wasn’t Fired years ago yeah looks danny i think perhaps we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot here here we go i’m doing whatever i want really i’m not i realize that investing your trust in someone else can be difficult but the fact is that the story has been about Nothing but you all this time there’s someone you’ve been neglecting stanley someone you’ve forgotten about what really yeah that’s right in the middle of something do you have consideration for others danger everywhere convinced that i want something bad to happen to you why i don’t know how to convince you here we Go we’re on our way i do want to help you to show you something beautiful [ __ ] you let me prove it i do what i want i’m on your side give me a chance now listen carefully this is important stanley walked through the red door perhaps you misunderstood stanley walked Through the red door i still don’t think we’re communicating properly stanley walked through the red door all right fine go ahead stanley yeah you want to know so badly what’s up yeah i do find out what i turn around that’s right you see wait there’s nothing here i haven’t even finished Building this section of the map because you were never supposed to be here in the first place what broken rooms exposed developer textures is this what you’d wanted was it worth ruining the entire story i’d written out specifically for you do you not think i put a lot of time Into that because i did and in the end it was all for nothing because this is what you wanted to see help me here stanley help elucidate these strange and unknowable desires of yours what would have made this game better what did you want to see cat girl Skill trees work with me you give me absolutely nothing so far tell you what let me take a stab in the dark at a new design and you can give me some feedback okay let’s see it there we go a third option this already feels leaps ahead of where we were before all Right go ahead stanley now tell me about your experience with this new version would you say that the game benefited from allowing you more choices feel free to be honest i’m looking for some really critical features [ __ ] you i’m gonna push one i’m gonna push one oh one i mean i can Understand if you could do reservations you saw weights yeah the game could be improved that’s right fully express itself mechanically and artistic that’s right that’s not even helpful uh-huh what am i supposed to do with that oh but i guess it isn’t my place to judge here based on the data from your Previous playthrough i’ve compiled a new version right and to be perfectly candid i think i’ve knocked it out of the park with this one let’s take a look let’s see it this stan wait what the [ __ ] the stanley parable worldwide leaderboard wait wait that that showed me i saw that where’s me oh Um 21 of entry players skipped the intro sequence only three percent of players chose the blue door what a bunch of [ __ ] compete against others and improve your standy parable career well what the [ __ ] let’s go through here again now would you say that competitive leaderboard helped you feel motivated to Keep walking through doors i’m gonna put it at one again honestly hey i nearly forgot i’ve got a prototype of a new game i’ve been working on and now would be a lovely opportunity to give it some play testing okay let’s see you wouldn’t mind taking a look at it Would you absolutely not perfect let me boot it up here we go in this game the baby crawls left towards danger you click the button to move him back to the right and if he reaches the fire you fail it’s a very meaningful game all about the desperation and tedium of endlessly Confronting the demands of family life i think the art world will really take notice but of course the message of the game only becomes clear once you’ve been playing it for about four hours so why don’t you give it four hours of play to make sure it’s effective i can’t do it Be sure to keep notes on your experience What’s sperm what’s on burn you heartless bastard did you do it because you hate babies or purely despite me both as if it’s the latter well i don’t know what to do i’m completely out of ideas i can’t think of a single thing that might improve the experience for me I’m not even going to try i’m out i’m out what am i what it’s over why thank you for playing your input was extreme i was trying to help oh hey since my game was so awful why don’t we play someone else’s game just to ease the pace okay Let’s do that let’s see what do we have here [Applause] What’s this Yes this seems like it’ll work let’s give it a shot what is it ah fascinating what do you think this game is about stanley what’s our backstory what is our motivation hmm well it seems obvious to me that you are meant to play as a creepy man spying on Innocent civilians below you from up high in your creep tower for some sort of twisted erotic purpose ah hmm yes that must be it what a fascinating venture into the experience of total can i drink the bleach so far i love everything about this game stanley and It seems there’s even more come let’s venture outward and see what else is out there okay let’s do that [Applause] oh hell yeah brother look at this oh i gotta go around the other side all right let’s go over this way okay how is this even possible i don’t Even know i don’t even know i i i don’t know what’s happening to me what is this oh my god oh no no no no it can’t be wait i’ve broken free it is it’s an open world game good god quickly block it off oh awesome no thank goodness stanley what’s this call You nearly wandered off into that that thing that big open just wandering around no right or wrong directions no path to follow you What’s this thank heavens we avoided it we’re out of the woods now stanley okay i’m going to get us out of here let’s find another game what preferably something with walls something with nice big insurmountable walls oh i gotta get through here uh what is it gonna be I think this will be just the thing okay what is it wonderful see this is exactly what i had in mind just a nice big box for you to run around in there isn’t any possibility that you could get lost here now this is game design Stanley if you manage to get lost in this game i will be phenomenally impressed okay okay so what exactly do we do here let’s see i don’t know there are lots of cars here in the back but obviously there’s no race track yeah so okay i’m seeing That there’s a ball of some kind back here is this game sports ball stanley there’s no i think it’s sportsbook and do a touchdown together yes i think surely we must okay okay stanley here’s the ball have fun no no no ball no ball oh it doesn’t make me all right all Right i have to i have to do it what the hell was that sound what the [ __ ] holy [ __ ] are you doing it are you winning is this fun is it better than my miserable little story that i worked so hard on oh my god what are you doing i Faded away what beta [ __ ] stanley don’t do that i can’t follow you there i can’t help you what is this how will you write a story without me you can’t do it you knew that wait what oh my god why i didn’t see what the [ __ ] can i open this no i can’t Oh my god can i go maybe through here maybe through here maybe through there maybe through here okay this seems like the right way let’s go yes this has got to be the right way wait what’s that what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] is that what does that even say The [ __ ] is this it’s the back room i can see that holy [ __ ] wait this is my i what it’s my original room yeah that’s my original room but now it’s like leveled up okay so let’s go back i wonder what he found if what he wanted was to be the leading Man in his own story well perhaps he’s gotten it down in wherever he is right now i wonder if he’s happy with his choice and if he’s learned the heavy cost that comes with it no he’ll understand soon what i was trying to tell him he needs me Someone who will wrap everything up at the end to make sense out of the chaos and the fear and the confusion that’s who i am that is what i mean to this world oh yes yes i’ll be back there’s no other way once this ends after it all comes to a Close then i’ll be back the end will be here soon very soon i can wait can i move can i move i want it no no no All of his co-workers were gone what could it mean stanley decided to go to the meeting room perhaps he had simply missed a memo Stanley lifted the bucket into his arms and a wave of comfort rushed over him holy [ __ ] stanley clutched the bucket tightly to his chest and entered the door this was not the correct way to the meeting room but stanley had felt the bucket calling to him telling him that the employee Lounge was simply the place to be and here it was had the bucket turned out to be correct well no never mind the bucket was wrong yeah that’s right stanley took the door on his left to go back to the meeting room okay so the two of them detoured through the maintenance Section and walked straight ahead to the opposite door wait wait that’s where i was at i can’t open this door wait what is wait wait wait what wait how the i can’t go that so now i’m over still no one was here what the [ __ ] stanley needed the bucket’s warmth and Comfort now more than ever perhaps his boss’s office stanley we must move on from this broom closet simply because i have no remaining stickers if i did you can guarantee we’d be in here for hours no stickers leave the bucket i can’t it doesn’t let me there there’s no option to do that Coming to a staircase stanley and the bucket walked upstairs to the boss’s office no way no [ __ ] way you found one of them one of the miniature stanley figurines remember no reward for collecting all of these only the intrinsic pleasure of a job well done is that right why that sort of Happiness stanley god knows i’ve tried so i implore you to savor each and every moment you’ll come across one of these beautiful figurines but stanley just couldn’t do it he considered the possibility of facing his boss admitting he had left his post during work hours he might be fired for That and in such a competitive economy why had he taken that risk all because he believed everyone had vanished his boss would think he was crazy and then something except to stand there okay wait maybe he thought to himself maybe i am crazy he looked down at the bucket in his arms Am i crazy no that’s not the bucket returned its gaze but said nothing at all okay let’s go over here maybe usually the bucket is a source of guidance if i do it enough times i’ll get difficult times such as these if i do it i’ll be able to get And that’s when stanley realized this isn’t my bucket it’s just a normal everyday bucket someone else’s bucket perhaps how did i end up with someone else’s bucket this is all terribly wrong surely no wait where’d it go who knows what sorts of bizarre hallucinations stanley might experience without the psychologically grounding presence of His body and indeed now he noticed the rooms were repeating which was of course and now he felt himself floating off the ground oh gracious he exclaimed without my bucket i’ve gone truly now where is it i must find it far off in the distance now i heard it calling to him standing Stanley hits me the bucket could it truly be he rushed forward from room to room passing by one minute after the next none of them were his none of wait is that it is this wait what he had to find the bucket he had to return to His old friend it was the only way to truly restore his sanity and then suddenly okay froze dead in his tracks he knew where the voice of the bucket had been coming from the real bucket was inside of him all along there where’s the bucket it was incredibly Painful where’s my bucket there are stickers on over in agony no this is the story of a woman named mariela no mariella woke up on a day like any other she arose got dressed picked up a bucket of comfort and security and walked to her place of work But on this particular day her walk was interrupted by the body of a man who had stumbled through town talking and screaming to himself and then collapsed dead on the sidewalk right away she knew what the problem was this man had no bucket of course he’d gone mad ranting and raving about a Narrator describing all of his actions and how everything is predetermined and free will is an illusion and it’s all just a video game it could all have been prevented if only he’d taken his bucket with him true perhaps he didn’t even realize he’d forgotten his bucket at home in the first place How cruel the world can be mario thought and she hugged her own bucket even tighter but of course she had no time for this there were a myriad of confusing problems she would soon have to confront at work for which her bucket would provide absolute guidance and total Clarity on everything heck yes she thought to herself my life kicks ass and she backflipped all the way to work what the [ __ ] the end is never the end is never the end is never the end even now stanley’s office was a distant memory what did it Look like there was a computer perhaps and a painting was it a painting or a photo he could no longer recall figurine founders committee Okay the confusion and the chaos all seemed to melt away as stanley embraced the bucket no i’ve got it stanley clutched the bucket tightly to his chest is this the figurine okay Inside a large room lots of boxes some oh my god is this some kind of game there must be a point to this places to search looks like four two seven ha ha I want to go home there will be cleaning of this wall required i ideas how many are there 6 15 there it is can we sell them obviously more money uh if sold together that’s true what do they want stock options are data or money all of all the above Why wouldn’t they just tell us something will happen Stanley we must move on from this broom closet simply because i have no remaining stickers okay you’re coming to a staircase okay stanley and the bucket walked upstairs to the boss’s office i was about to say what about the bathroom oh another miniature stanley figurine wow You know there really must be a snappier name for these things what about mini stands stanley thinks um what about stan marines i like that i think i like that another stanlerine under your okay I can’t do anything with this stepping into his manager’s office stanley was once again stunned to discover not an indication of any human life crushed but stanley guessed the correct code by that’s just because i’m really smart what can i say absolutely yes this is certainly the most logical explanation Good guess yeah thanks man okay stanley and the bucket walk straight ahead through the large door that read mind control facility not this passageway had the word escape not today the truth was that at least breaking the conditions would both meet a violent death that no we won’t The door behind them was not shut standing in the bucket still had every opportunity to turn around and get back on track i’ll be fine at this point stanley and the bucket were knowingly walking and it will be totally okay for each of them absolutely not what’s this it’ll be fine As the machine word into motion and standing in the bucket inch closer to their demise stanley reflected on how meaningless the bucket’s warmth and comfort had turned out to be true to be sure it puts the mind and the soul at ease he sort of kicked himself for wasting so Much time i’m carrying a bucket everywhere oh my god i farewell stanley no no the bucket will stop me farewell stanley cried the narrator as stanley and the bucket were led helplessly into the enormous metal jaws in a single visceral instant the bucket’s life came to an end as it Was crushed violently to death what wait wait what huh it was a shame the death of such a magnificent bucket it’s true that all buckets are agent in their own way but this one stood above the rest it was a glorious bucket to behold what the [ __ ] welcomes you to the grand exhibit Oh my god don’t you see how arrogant it was for stanley to take a bucket like this and to claim it for his own yes can you see the hubris that blinded him can you see that the bucket is far from taking him too soon stanley will ever be in his short life The bucket is the biggest of having two handles such as the designs germany created in real life having been deemed too dangerous and recklessly experimental every year dozens are put to death just for attempting it that’s true 25 buckets there’s like 50 there it’s not true a photograph of 25 buckets the greatest Number of buckets ever captured on camera the photographer experienced catatonic shock for several weeks as a result of the euphoria from the exposure to this many buckets at once can i get this one inferno bucket it was so powerfully alluring that it drove dozens of nations to war with one Another for control of it billions died and yet in spite of all of it the simple fact remains no one can control a bucket oh i should get one of these this seems quite useful while we know that buckets predate the existence of mankind we do not know by How long this cave drawing depicts early man’s discovery of the practical uses of the bucket by which time the bucket has already uh likely been around for several millennia notice how the drawings and how the bucket is allowing itself to be used having judged humanity to be worthy of its treasures No man can own a bucket and certainly not a bucket as dazzling to behold as this one it is man who should kneel before the bucket oh my oh my god what’s behind there there’s blue light the hanging this piece symbolizes the necessary relationship between bucket and humanity However clear our grasp of the bucket may be there is yet more that is always out of reach this distance inevitably is for our own good i got it i got it i got it but there is something we can do something we can do together You and i that will right this terrible wrong let stanley die let him be crushed by the machine don’t reset the game don’t give him another opportunity to run off with another beautiful bucket we can save the world’s buckets from their treatment as tools and implements if Only we let stanley die together the bucket shall take its place as ruler as leader as commander of a new world a new vision oh my god i think i just died the end is never the end i don’t know if i want to okay i’m gonna i’m gonna call the day For today guys i’m [ __ ] tired like i’m [ __ ] tired i am exhausted i i gotta get some sleep oh my god this game is just oh my god this game is just crazy i can’t believe this it’s like this stream is wild i just i didn’t know what to expect with This at all i didn’t know what it was gonna be like i didn’t know what it was gonna do i have no idea this is incredible i love this this is amazing this game is insane man yeah i know this is ridiculous sleep aren’t you gonna play wow I’m probably gonna get some some food in a little bit and then just relax oh my god like this is an s to your game i’m gonna be honest i really think it is like i i didn’t really know what to think about it at the beginning because I’m just like you know it is what it is right it’s a game but like this is an s t or game it’s actually so good it’s so well put together everything about it makes sense and it’s just like there’s so many like it it’s one of those games that you want to Keep playing because you never know what’s going to be the trigger for some sort of like crazy thing i feel like this game in like a really weird abstract way actually does something that dark souls and eldon ring does is that it puts massive amounts of content Behind some sort of wall that the player will probably never discover and it’s completely confident in doing so it’s like even if you never figure this out we are going to put this massive amount of content in the game and you can either finish this game in 10 minutes or probably 10 hours That’s incredible i i really think that’s incredible i think that’s amazing like wow you never know what’s next yeah exactly stanley is the alden lord you have no idea how much you skipped holy [ __ ] the end is never the end editors put gameplay on youtube i would assume so yes I can’t promise it but yes i would assume so absolutely we had a really great stream today guys i want to say thank you to everybody uh this was absolutely incredible like i i didn’t even really know what to think or what to what to believe with this or anything like that Like i just really i thought this was [ __ ] fun man this is really really cool holy [ __ ] [ __ ] man god [ __ ] damn god [ __ ] damn boys wow did you guys have fun did you guys enjoy it yeah did you guys enjoy it yeah yeah we played again maybe i don’t know You Video Information
This video, titled ‘A MIND-BENDING Game That Plays You | A͏s͏m͏o͏n͏g͏o͏l͏d͏ Plays Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe’, was uploaded by A͏s͏m͏o͏n͏g͏o͏l͏d͏ T͏V͏ on 2022-05-15 13:00:07. It has garnered 2772395 views and 48686 likes. The duration of the video is 03:35:43 or 12943 seconds.
Asmongold Reacts to The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe! A blind playthrough of Stanley Parable, a mind-bending game that Asmongold’s chat called a “BLIZZARD GAME KEKW”…
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