Primitive Minecraft Adventures

Have you ever wondered what Minecraft would look like thousands of years ago before there were pillagers and iron golems and farm animals Minecraft was crazy dude I’m going to try to survive in Minecraft’s most dangerous version 1,000 BC look dude the trees are massive man and look at the sniffers dude if he

Sniffs me I might get lodged in his nostrils ah it’s so beautiful and peaceful here man oh hey Mr Chicken oh my gosh chickens are huge too what’s up buddy boy oh my goodness oh no bad chicken bad bad chicken no why are you trying to kill me I am not seeds he

Knows about all the omelets I eat every morning he’s brought back up there’s two of them Retreat to the caves okay okay yeah can’t get in here now huh sometimes it pays to be small ooh what’s this something useful oh I got a spear very cool can’t do nothing

Now can you chicken boy oh that’s cool I can throw it and it comes back to me like a trident a prehistoric Trident yeah take that chicken hey yeah hey yeah oh gosh it’s not extremely accurate well I guess we can explore the cave here oh

This is interesting if I can combine a flint with my spear I can make a fire spear I’ll be the first Minecraft player to create fire there it is all right put this in my off hand and now Abracadabra I have a fire spear I shall destroy you chickens wait are they

Running away Ah that’s it dude chickens run away away from fire ha I have a way to protect myself against the poultry not bad and I have a nice attack weapon too my first bit of food some prehistoric cooked chicken we take those yeah oh goodness gracious they have so

Much health uh maybe I find a different way to get food huh I munch on some beans and berries there’s there’s so much tall grass dude waa look at this man there’s wheat everywhere no wonder the chickens got so big I got food for days it’s normal wheat it’s not like

Some weird poisonous plant so we shall Harvest what is this a torch flow can I eat this just light on fire ah Perfect Dude it seems a little safe we got some chickens over there I got to worry about is there rabid cows around here well I certainly feel more comfortable having a

Full belly and full health the Earth is so plentiful we don’t have this anymore in Minecraft the only time we find grown weed is from villagers enough food for the what is that is that a village I’m not alone in this world villagers I thought they would be I don’t know

Caveman or something but no this is so cool dude it’s like the ruined Trails except you know not ruined hello good boy I like to see that you guys haven’t changed for thousands of years hopefully you change clothes though that would be pretty smelly do you guys trade stuff as

Well a bread for a spear I mean sure why not I’ll take another spear dude some actually good trades two bread for trail leggings okay I will look like you now I’ve been accepted in their Community oh my goodness it’s like a Dragon portal or something here it’s missing a block

Though this is very weird oh what the heck is this man oh sorry I’m breaking your crops a pitcher plant sorry I’ll put that back I just got pretty curious too bread for some trail Boots the boots are pretty big I like them though old

Man illers do not enter I want to enter so bad it’s fine I just got into the city I will respect your needs it’s kind of hilarious that they haven’t discovered emeralds yet I’m just trading food I got literally outside to them the villagers haven’t yet discovered what

Greed is one wheat for one bread I feel kind of bad at this point I’m like ripping them off eh if they’re happy I’m happy what’s going on in here hello boys we got these weird maps on the wall with some x’s on them we have these iron

Blocks here are you guys trying to make an iron golem do you not know how uh yeah I don’t think they know how to make an iron golem don’t worry me boys I will teach you just going to borrow a little this iron if you don’t mind I’ll pay you

Back I promise there’s a pickaxe and some shears feels good to help out the locals hey Mr pumpkin just going to do a little bit of carving sweet and then I’m going to grab some iron for him real quick I’m excited but nervous to see what caves look like right here I’m so

Scared it looks relatively normal so far there aren’t like giant spiders and mega creepers or anything I’ve got the advancement Stone Age even though I’m literally in like the Stone Age all right that should do it for now I’m coming back with profit boys hello

Villager boys I’m back oh my what oh no he’s destroying the village stop stop stop bro spear go oh the spearers were flected off of them no no this is not going to be enough hand to hand combat take this ouch okay I really want to protect this Village but okay he’s gone

Well great all right what’s that I see is that crafty merch under your tree do not fret a bundle we bring to snuggle with a plushy and wear that sweet bling go to our merch site crafty do store to craftify your Christmas what are you waiting for I see that this portal here

Is not a good thing or maybe they’re trying to complete the portal to take out the dragon or something regardless crafty is on duty and you guys definitely need an iron golem man although he’s not equipped to take out dragons glad to see you guys are still fine and honestly they seem undisturbed

They’re like yeah normal Tuesday stuff Dragon comes by wrecks the whole town I’ll help you boys but for now look watch this you take four blocks of iron and then you take a car of pumpkin oh gosh nope not not that watch carefully me boy we put the iron like this he’s

Not paying any attention well I tried oh Golem protect this Village buddy boy I’m not going to tell him about the dragon all right you’re just going to freak him out there are these Map Parts in here with x’s on them do you guys know what’s

Going on here there’s a bunch of them oh that looks terrifying uh looks like like a diamond Temple don’t worry gentlemen I’ll figure out where these Maps lead to it’s time for a journey into 1,000 BC let me put out these fires before I go though didn’t quite expect this to be my

Journey but I’m fine with it I like helping people I think I found our first location it’s in the de desert and there’s a massive pyramid here dude doesn’t look ruined at all wa pyramids used to be huge back in the day dude greetings handsome villagers how you

Doing buddy oh gosh wait wait what that doesn’t sound normal yeah yeah everything’s fine that’s weird why do they sound like pillagers dude oh my goodness no what what the heck is that dude it’s a cactus creeper a creeper oh well that was easy all right just poked

Him once you just fell over dead how you doing oh goodness why you just letting Cactus creepers roaming about there’s tiny ones too you’ve got a creeper infestation they’re so small to hit no I’m just trying to find a portal for the dragon thing okay H he’s small and cute

And I feel bad for taking him out what’s going on oh there’s more creeper dudes what’s going on down here don’t worry totally normal villagers I will take them out yeah so what’s going on down here there isn’t loot like there normally is uh there are TNTs they’re

Using just as casual set decoration no okay well that was easy and there’s these mysterious Pathways now guys I don’t know about you but I do not trust these guys they’re just out here living with spiders and creepers making grunting sounds like they’re pillagers I wouldn’t trust them to hold my apple pie

Our spear on fire does light TNT so maybe I can just pretend it was an accident and I can see what these guys are hiding don’t look at me no I’m just a cactus creeper yes it was him it was him ah just a normal day wa what was that I had

No idea did you see who did that probably that guy over there let’s see what these guys are hiding ah just a bunch of gold don’t mind me boys I’m just a cleanup crew I’ve been hired by your boss nailed it that’s why I’m here and for no other reason at all nobody’s

Looking normal schedule demolition like that one great and then like this one over there I missed no come back to me yeah nobody’s going to suspect a thing what’s up gentlemen clean up crew back again okay just gold I don’t need that and what is that please be what I need

What is that dude a purple Mickey Mouse hat it’s a end portal fragment wow that was a close one the end portal fragment dude that’s exactly what I need well guys I’ll need to go find more tools for this clean up okay so oh no oh no they know they know what

I have run get out of here a oh no no they’re chasing me with golden hose I knew you guys were evil I’m just trying to get these fragments so I can save the world from the dragon dude it’s so hard to be a hero ouch now onward oops come

Back spear now on to our next spot looks like a jungler of some kind let’s find some of those jungle trees oh no the last time I was in a jungle like this I got chased by poultry let’s hope there’s no chickens around here what’s up sniffy

Boy oh snap guys I think I found it we’ve got a spooky looking jungle temple this is cool very daunting dude hello anybody bad around here anyone trying to eat my guts and stab out my eyeballs I do hear some spiders that guy didn’t make it very far yes I see a fragment

Only one spider dude this is easy yeah take that spider no problem easiest game I oh gosh dang it I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy he good thing I got two Spears though dude check this out H H semi-automatic spear throwing stop go away go away we unlocked two

Pathways here let’s go this direction I see a lever I can flick I’m terrified I just explode all right well nothing bad happen so that’s good oh gosh more spiders you guys stay up there I stay down here all right you take the roof I take the floor yeah okay we’re cool

We’re cool okay another lever I heard a sound that’s good the shiny ding sound always is a good sign there’s this new pathway over here and a ladder oh gosh and I wonder who’s going to drop down and try to kill me is it you yep yep

It’s him why you rubbing your butt on my face bro stop he’s not even doing damage to me what’s going on a he like likes me ow okay This Means War buddy there’s no giant spiders in my version of Minecraft and take that yeah we got them coast is

Clear boys let’s head up the ladder and yeah here we are we’ve got our second end portal fragment can I do anything with this yet no probably need the rest of them huh all right let’s go to our next location as long as there’s not another trap can I get out of here

Safely yeah no problem we’re making great strides on to the next location looking at the map it appears to be an ocean Monument but there’s also like trees and stuff around it so I found these little guys here you’re not supposed to be here boys so I think I’m

On the right track a little bit of water is it a tiny monument in this little Pond no how about this Pond no how strange dude there is a little bit of water oh my goodness look at that now that’s an ocean Monument or a land

Monument that is so cool it feels very weird seeing them outside the water what’s up little foxy boy what do you have there you have something for me what what do you have what is that you have a crab in your mouth can I trade you what is this a torch flower seed

Well that’s not useful but thanks anyway look at this place it feels really weird to walk into an ocean monument and not get just bered by little zappy fish little laser salmon is there anybody here there’s like oh my gosh oh wa okay the laser fish are still alive but they

Look like they’re statues or something I guess they haven’t evolved little flippers and stuff yet can can I can I take them out ow they still do damage that’s good to know hey stop it I’m on the hunt for an End Portal fragment hi oh it’s so nice they can’t move around

They still do a lot of damage though so I got to be a little careful I don’t have to worry about having a turtle helmet I don’t have to worry about drowning hello hey oh gosh there’s a lot of him in here oh goodness I got to be

Careful Juke him Dodge that’s right you didn’t even notice me he can’t see me here I’m just going to heal up a little bit ow oh gosh he attacks so fast go hide hide hide wait a second can he see me if I do little peekaboo

Situation ah oh gosh no no no no no oh man I could really use a better weapon than these Spears but it’s 1,000 BC I can’t ask for much oh gosh they’re everywhere no no no no no no stop it he’s going to take me out how did he

Spot me I was so well hidden my color camouflages into the walls oh that’s so funny when I squat he sees me but when I stand up he can’t I’m here I’ve disappeared I’m here where’d he go ah take that little slimy boy okay just going to run through yes the

Fragment I’ve got it dude oh no the alarm bells are sounding ah the whole place is flooded with water we got to go boys oh gosh I don’t remember how to get out of here get up the water get up the water oh gosh that’s the worst visual

I’ve ever seen ever oh gosh swim swim up swim up yeah oh no this whole place is filling with water wait am I the reason why ocean temples are full of water I shall take full responsibility yes we’re out of here three portal fragments down

Just one more more to go oh gosh it’s a scary one isn’t it uh it’s fine it’s fine I’ll be fine oh snap guys I think I found it what is that dude a little ballerina Blaze very cute a complete nether portal in the Overworld I guess that’s before they were ruined right

They look so beautiful before they became ruined portals and look at that ow what what is that ow hey bro chill all right I’m take you out oh oh gosh I think I just lit that Blaze on fire oh no hey yeah take that yeah dude look at

That I’m the reason why blazes are made of fire as well the things I do for this world what is this ouch Oh weird it’s not a portal fragment what is this thing oh gosh I broke it well it’s been ruined good thing that’s supposed to be like

That I guess we’ve got a nether Stone it says can I like craft these together yeah no seems like that’s all the map Parts though let’s head back to the Village oh lovely Village oh gosh that’s not good the Dragon’s Back gosh dang it

Oh man I took too long yo Dragon pick on somebody your own size oh I can do damage to him now yeah I have no idea how much health he is man I’ve SE no Boss Bar well here goes nothing I have everything that I

Need um what do I got to do uh go uh do I have to place it here oh gosh something’s happening uh yes ancient end portal frame perfect I put this here and it’s sucking the dragon in go back to the end buddy boy yeah yeah good job Iron Golem he’s

Doing his job dude okay so we completed the portal and now the dragon is forever locked in to the end and all things are back to the way they should be guys check out the oh gosh well this place has certainly looked better one like equals one block to rebuild the villagers homes