How I Learnt Evil Magic to Save this Minecraft Server

I am a mighty dark wizard hired by this Kingdom to defend it from rampaging hordes of evil Invaders uh but there’s one problem I lie to my resume when I apply for the job I said I was a skilled dark wizard who knew how to use Excel

But I’m sort of weak right now I only have this wand and I don’t have any powers apart from summoning giant space rocks I don’t really know how powerful they are so I’m gonna learn as I go how to be a dark wizard worthy of banishing the evil corruption from this Minecraft

Server and the kingdom I’ve been called upon to protect is ragni an influential but relatively out of the way City that’s been riddled with problems they’re struggling to find new guards so realistically I came at just the right time even though I admit I only studied magic through an online university I

Guess to probably do a little bit to help the good folk of the town right sorry my first Quest would be to help out a soldier called thurg who could apparently give me a ring to make me a Little Bit Stronger All I would have to

Do for him is find a magical energizing mushroom which honestly sounds pretty suspicious but who am I to deny a man of hallucinogenic substances so I went down the hall and got this guy’s mushroom and let me just say I’m way more powerful than I expected to be there’s a giant

Space rock kind of dices up anything in my path so you know what this job might be a little easier than I thought the next Quest the King has given to me is to uh fetch him fetch him a cake okay this doesn’t seem like I’m doing

Anything at all related to the safety of the Kingdom but I guess he’s my boss right it’s like going on a coffee run at the office and this is like pretty normal right so I ran all the way out to the countryside to go get the baker some

Eggs milk and wheat only to find that uh I didn’t know how to get the wheat for some reason or another I just I just don’t know guys I just couldn’t right click into something so I moved on to do something else hoping that I could figure it out while I’m gone there

Should be plenty two in the countryside anyway and hey what do you know a new Quest right here this farmer has been plagued by a corrupt being occupying his farm and preventing him from collecting his Harvest it’s an angry and aggressive creature Throwing Fire at Whatever Gets

In the air so this man’s strategy for dealing with it is uh dumping a crate of rat poison into the sprinkler system turning it on and then hoping for the past oh completely disregarding the devastating consequences of sprinkling rat poison onto wheat I do it anyway and

The guy violently explodes into a thin Red Mist so not only is this field now covered in rat poison but it’s also been fertilized with the internal organs of a murderous creature lovely okay so maybe there are some more sane people in the nearby woods but this place is super

Dangerous it’s riddled with spiders and all sorts of creatures there’s bound to be Equestria oh this poor guy stuck in the forest Afflicted with the Venom of a spider and he wants me to go deep into the nesting den of them and find him a medicinal herb now dear viewer what kind

Of a hero would it be if I didn’t fetch this lovely man is unprescribed medicinal substances so I picked up this guy’s weed then I ran all the way to the ragni sewers where I helped this lovely person clear pipes that were clogged and blocked by an ungodly amount of feces

Junk and corpses now dear viewer I want you to guess what we use to clear the blockage was it in option a baking soda and vinegar B drain cleaning liquid C Dynamite or D are hands well if you guessed Dynamite then you’d be right but you win nothing and you have to keep

Watching the video after that headed for the seaside where I’d find a sunken treasure quest which again I don’t know how it helps at all I better suppose it’s something to do the quest Giver wants me to get him a breathing helmet from this child sea captain who insists

That he’s not a child but I don’t fully buy it the price he’s giving me for the helmet is a pile of fish figures and tendys which doesn’t at all help his case uh it seems like an unfair trade on his part but as you boys know I’m a

Sucker for a bargain and at this point of the quest I’m really feeling like kind of a FedEx driver I’ve been running around getting stuff for all these people just being a little errand boy I was supposed to be the dark wizard defending the land and banishing the

Evil corruption adding a task that really makes a difference so I headed to debt last the city at the center of the province the tunnel which connected to ragni got blocked off by cave-ins and interference from the corrupt cutting off Aid and suppliers to the city the

People of ragne can only hold out for so long and there are fewer and fewer Soldiers by the day somebody would need to intervene I delved into the cave with the miner who would clear the Rocks while I defended him from the onslaught of creatures the best I could uh it was

Also at this point which I realized I didn’t in fact have my actual helmet on for combat instead I had the breathing helmet which meant that I took way more damage from the mobs fighting us but we thought our way through ending up with a huge almost impossible wall and that’s

When something strange began to happen the wall to our right began to open up and out from it came this uh this cow human thing oh uh well this is a little awkward I’ll just go and then it just scurried away now fellas if you were confronted by a

Strange cow humanoid creature you would follow it down whatever dark cable crevice it came from too I would go through the opening to me trail the cow a freedom fighter who seeks to free the cows from the tyranny of Katella Ranch which is where we got the milk from

Earlier for the king’s cake but for the sake of diplomacy I don’t think I’ll tell this to my new bovine acquaintance Drea has dug a tremendous hole into the bowels of katoa ranch’s cow basement in order to sneak them out and give them a new life sounds insane it’s delusional

But I’ve already helped procure illegal substances and deliver tendies so it’d be great for media to climax with a thrilling and satisfying work of environmental activism and you know what else would be great for my day a single Mouse Click by you the dear viewer on the Subscribe button which is entirely

Free and it’ll only take a second so yeah uh back to the video so I clutched up using my newly developed wizard teleport skills to get the cows out of the basement and out of the cave Drea LED them to a boat where I would send

Them into the vast blue under it was at this point in my journey where I started to question my sanity a little bit perhaps all the way back at the start of the video when I stepped into that mushroom cave had I perhaps accidentally ingested a Spore which messed with my

Head or maybe in the spider dead ah whatever is fine who cares anyway getting something there funnel so I returned to the guy and he’s pretty pissed that I abandoned him with the underground monsters in favor of chasing cows and is still having trouble getting rid of the blockage but as we’re

Talking we both hear a rumbling and strange sounds coming from the opening to our right and now from the darkness once again comes drail but this time he’s not alone he brings a posse of cows who Aid Us by using their raw strength to push away the Rocks clearing a path

Which allows ragne to be resupplied now this this is insane whatever I’m sure the next Quest will be a bit more normal you know straight lay standard hero stuff so I made my way back to Dent last City only to be confronted by a strange man who was raving about the incredible

Taste of his uh mushroom soup Oh you’re messing with me this is a joke right oh [ __ ] whatever I don’t care anymore so I hate the mushrooms too and uh oh this isn’t a great feeling oh oh no ah again where am I oh this is that last this place smells like ass yeah that wasn’t the best trip

Of my life I suppose I should figure out where I am you ate my soup and my belt I’m so sorry I beat you off of the soup to me and I surely I didn’t eat the Bowl come on get some mushrooms for the forest and bring

Them back here talking about what did you bring me to your house all right all right what the hell have I got myself into ah okay well here you are okay uh where in your house do you keep you have to buy me a new one what go to

The town and the trees and buy one what have I got myself into I’m just roaming around getting mushrooms and fetching kitchen wands this is the town and uh here’s the Super Bowl oh boy I love balls boy ‘s Bob balls perfect for mushrooms wait

I thought I was at my home too many mushrooms oh Jesus how did you even get here uh whatever just take the bowl and leave me alone I’m sure the next Quest would be a little more streamlined and less hectic and would involve less substance abuse the next Quest would be helping this

Alchemist in fetching mushrooms because uh reasons guys I genuinely don’t know this game just said the master had gone insane so this guy needed shrooms I got the guys shrooms and now he demands that I kill his former master I have to do it it’s part of the quest

So I slayed the corrupt master and brought his apron as proof it was at this moment where I had a period of introspection was this really what my quest was meant to be all I’ve done is just going to murderous Rampage where I’ve procured a lucrative Empire of drugs money and loot

Yeah I suppose that’s fine by me but I really needed a change in Pace I shouldn’t make this a habit I still wanted to make a genuine difference and help the Kingdom so I was assigned a new Quest all the way in The pigland Ravines yeah gee guys creative aiming I wonder

What lives there I would fight my way to a town where they were having critical Supply problems piglets has stolen all of the grain Supply and they’ve been slowly blowing it up over time I would be the one that would have stopped their actions so I ascended the Ravine walls

And found what was uh strange a creepo is just chilling out there according to the quest Giver creepers are a rare mythological creature in this world which weren’t believed to be real he whoever was a little bit weird so he believed they were real and that they

Lived in the Ravine inside a cave he wanted me to go to the cave to collect evidence that creepers were the ones destroying the grain Supply and not the piglets but I couldn’t just get into the cave without a disguise he would want me to craft one out of the nearest

Available resource which was the hide of a powerful piglet I’m going insane so I butchered a pigland skinned him and then crafted a creeper mask out of his corpse in order to completely fool any creeper into being my buddy pal and letting me in that cave I wandered right to the cave where the quartermaster told me to go

And lo and behold the whole cave is filled with these guys they somehow didn’t suspect me walking in like this so works for me and I managed to snag a tuft of gunpowder and made it back to the town proving the creepers do exist which ultimately made no difference for

The betterment of the town and didn’t help the people of the Kingdom whatsoever but hey doing all these Quests for these random people gave me a lot of money and some really cool learn and uh I had this tote magical powers now and hey look at that an 11 minute

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