Insane Minecraft Speedrun Failures: Proto King Arche’s Epic Fails

Hello ladies and gentlemen this is Ping Archie we are doing another hard C uh Speed Run I spelled that wrong number three okay nice hardcore let’s do it create world let’s go this is for this isn’t for uh world record or anything crazy like that this is for a personal goal of

Mine which is to prove that I [ __ ] this can’t be good all right well then but yeah it’s a personal goal I want to prove to myself that I can do this and this turned out to be some kind of series like I suck at Minecraft like it’s

Apparent and it looks like I’m going to have a rough start so going to go ahead and just get some extra Stone here now it doesn’t my first attempt 4 and a half hours uh and it ended with me dying in the nether second attempt uh got got hit on by actually

Both attempts ended by The piglin Brute so far my Arch Enemy enemy Pig brute um so the nether I did some studying and stuff like that uh I didn’t do too much studying because this is also about me growing as a person and in order to do that I have to

Learn I would like to avoid polar bears right I don’t think polar bears would be friendly how the polar bear swim do you have a mustache or is that just your big ass NOS is there any other mobs that I need to look out for what’s that what am I seeing somebody texted

Me squid wait oh you know hindsight I should have collected all that wood okay oh what’s this o bunch of drowned you guys don’t have Trident do you okay yeah I’m an idiot what is that Unbreaking three oh I got a fishing rod Eeps keep going I see land as long as I don’t get mauled by a polar bear should be fantastically fine let’s keep going this way polar bears can swim IRL but that does not and they can swim in Minecraft can I have r a p bear do I want to attempt that

Up sup I know those are big noses on the front they look like they look like mustaches if you’re looking at them head on all right I think I out of this stupid oh Village hello ladies and gentlemen ladies and gentle men hello give me all your supplies taking your whole house

Apart that cat just insulted my family and therefore his family needs to learn not to insult my family him and Mr Whiskers both okay uh take that chest best chest ever can you guys get outside ohy this is a big Village big Village oh wait there’s more what up iron goalie give me

That what’s this why is this a just one of themo did I do that oh bro bro what happened is there any there is is that polar bear I hope not um try I don’t think anything’s up here my headphones are dying potatoes give me everything give me everything bread bread

Bread bread bread I need to plug in my headphones if I die I die if I live I’m alive if that makes sense anybody all right let’s destroy this house you upset my family now pay with it for your with your house okay thank you uh do you have any more Village well

There’s that lava but that’s not a lava pool you sir are a farmer okay yeah I shoved you you want to do something okay okay okay man okay back off I’ll back off I’ll back off man I’ll do it back off okay where’s the iron go okay hm

Maybe if I Boop ah run away somebody’s running the sweeper downstairs just noticed that uh let’s sleep real quick try to get it daytime here okay bro that’s not your bed Okay we have what seven beds I seen a villager over here that might be a Hut as well okay we have eight that’s all I cared about honestly um is this an actual house yeah but don’t care for it I don’t I don’t bur for that’s potato cooking did I

Did I look at those did I look at those sir do you know if I did or not no nope there we go okay all right I need to think so we have iron um let’s continue this way or not let’s uh go this way see you later suckers y y y y

Y y okay ankle broken Ankle lovely there’s some normal see um ow okay I my mouse might actually be broken I’m like clicking and stuff and it’s just half I’m not clicking you know when I click it doesn’t click you know when I click it clack it don’t go back sweetberries

Food that’s what I just saw was food okay hold on let’s go this way Okayer okay okay are you okay are you okay I’m not okay yep yep that happened um well let’s go that way the deep hole okay okay okay went this way now what oh hello um I don’t there’s more over there wait is this a double Village you’re not a blacksmith

Uh where’s see the where’s the IR wait am I hearing two Iron Golems okay uh let’s destroy these so that there’s a chance of them spawning uh I don’t think this will have something okay more iron okay nothing in there what up Farmer Joe uh you don’t have

Anything so let’s go ahead and do that can someone come over here someone come over here can someone come over here okay well we’re going to go ahead and destroy that okay do we have a new farmer nope I don’t think this house will have chests yeah I didn’t think so this house

Didn’t have a chest can we get a farmer bro bro can you guys stop having a siesta over there yeah what’s up man what’s up what’s happening what up what’s up what’s up what’s up oh there’s more up there do I need to trade you I don’t

Need to trade you I got a I already got a bucket what am I doing boy oh boy I can’t think straight this might have a chest in it nope all right let’s go check out that other Village over here shut up sheep uh sir I think your fields are on

Fire sir I I think your fields are on fire these fields are on Fire um this isn’t going to have a chest was this one Mega Village or yeah okay there is an iron golem here oh wait nope I don’t see a blacksmith I don’t see a blacksmith anywhere yeah move moo I see wheat though I only got 19

PES I see a farmer I didn’t spawn doesn’t matter I have what I need just kind to find a lava pit I’m just hoping you guys would have like some Good stuff probably going to kill your iron golem uh what’s happening bro okay much okay uh is that a black no that ain’t a blacksmith let’s walk over here quick yeah nothing in there should be nothing in here should did I really look in here nothing in there and then this last

House there should be nothing in this house either yeah nothing all right useless a lot of you yeah even you uh we gotta go look for lava look for Lava Baby Boy I’m so glad I jumped without looking I just pick up an egg I could just wait till night

Time do I have dirt I don’t have dirt let’s use dirt instead of wood call me c call me call me something let’s go ahead and make do that pick that up for there’s the villages is that something over there that might be something over there um I don’t see any lava

Pits and you know what nothing Venture nothing get I will so here’s here so that way back to this way yep what I was spamming the button how how all right well that was attempt number three what time is it 28 minutes all right let’s go ahead and delete that

Let’s do attempt number four as well let’s go temp neighor here here Speed hcsr yeah let’s go I did it in survival hold on gota let it load gota let it load okay yeah no Angry hurs no Angry Hearts um delete that yes uh create hardcore Mo all right here we go number here her her Cure uh sped R let’s go there we go I doubt anything good will come from this speedrun right here I doubt it I doubt all right uh oh no oh no oh there’s a village there though whoa sir oh oh uhoh uhoh no no please no no no no

No no no no no no there’s more not like this not like this oh there’s a villager here oh no those are villagers hello what up goat ah you’re chasing me you dick you’re dick you’re dick your dick your dick the hell’s that are you still chasing me wow wow I

Didn’t think I would have this kind of a spawn so are you guys like start the same Clan over here like do you guys communicate do you guys send letters are you in the same zip cuz I’m I’m actually curious like how you guys could be so close

Together like it’s nuts it’s so crazy so crazy okay I let go of my mouse button so crazy bro oh that did I look in here did I look in here did I look in here no I didn’t just give me all that give me that uh I looked in

There this is a cool place give me that yeah yeah yeah I know I can only sleep at night yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um I check in here nope all right what are you selling over here brother uh bread for Emerald Emerald for bread okay what about wheat for an

Emerald you ever think about that those are those are the high cor strats right there sorry sir but your your cow needs to give me some wheat what up guys um Nothing okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay you guys have absolutely nothing however don’t look at me like that don’t look at me like that um so we got okay so we got three of those um why do I make a ax what what what pick pick

Pick actually I I did need I did need wood um there trade me trade me but bro how are you still employed was there another Garden somewhere I overlooked did I overlook a garden maybe I did no you’re not a fisherman now are you oh you’re still farmer okay I’m confused

I’m confused mate I’m confused is there any more villagers you sir sir sir anybody anybody anybody anybody can somebody stop ignoring Me okay is there only three of you how are you still cooking is there a farm over here ow I don’t know what fire charges is used for ow is there a oh there’s a magma block I’m going to need a whole lot more magma than that though hate to tell you that

Oh I got the Flint steel taken care of and that’s enough to make two G uh gold angot let’s go what is that up there all right I’m sup Bros do you guys want to are you stuck are you stuck on your roof are you stuck on your

Roof wait how did you get on your roof s s we’re just going to go kill the Golem we’re just going to kill the Golem we’re just going to I mean we’re still going to kill a Golem but uh get back here oh my gosh there it is oh there more wheat over

There okay now we need throw that out take that take that boom boom boom Iron Golem where you at I hate to do this to you brother Iron Golem in Christ so risky I hate doing this there we go uh how many four four nice I can make it sh okay

Now do I get silly with it do after the pillagers wonder if there was any LS H okay I got food do we do I take on villagers actually real hold on I I did want to take a pillars why cuz I’m a sucker for playing Minecraft and I have yet this is just one of those things where it’s just like darn it okay oh there’s more iron right

There not that it’s much more uh let’s go ahead slap that down take this put it in there we’re going but we’ll do the do that first um did I grab any just regular pieces of wood nope okay wait okay five going to cook potatoes those go out here

Throw these out those take these we’ll sneak around put this bed up here um can you cook a chest can you cook a wooden chest can you use a wooden chest yes you can okay uh let’s just go wait let’s pick this up okay salt on the Pillager oh there’s so many legs H oh yo man oh they’re still coming after me oh oh boy they hit hard yeah yeah what’s up upop ow you’re cheating you’re cheating I don’t think they keep spawning do they what if I free the iron golem okay that was dumb that was dumb okay man I started oh

Man I think that was a pretty wait is there a house in there no okay this plus that plus that the nether portal what in the world I was so lucky so lucky I think I was lucky that felt lucky to me I don’t see anything

Else okay so we’re going to go ahead and put that one uh single player uh delete that world yes create a new one hardcore hard number for you speed fast again yeah yeah let’s get another one in let’s get another attempt let’s go let’s do this okay oh

Okay all right so we begin as all games begin punching a tree are you kidding me that’s gravel seriously seriously okay so let’s try to get a high Vantage Point real quick where we can see everything man that was so cool spawned by a village and a Pillager Outpost and another uh portal

Ruins like that to me that’s crazy okay I don’t see anything immediately I see Beast okay let’s go up there sorry I’m going to need food this with this slow response with my mouse I I think my mouse is legitimately dying okay I don’t see anything okay why did I jump like an

Idiot there no uh yeah I don’t see anything okay okay okay okay uh uh I think we’ll just go down Here um sorry no you don’t drop anything do you okay I got six six leather out of there nice make make a here more sheep make some beds piggy piggy piggy piggy that was awkward what is what you guys having little little little guys uh let’s go ahead

And do that uh uh uh uh uh um not what I wanted that’s what I wanted oh hold up what is that what am I looking at Dolphins hi guys what’s cracking is that a ship I think that is a ship what is that what am I looking at

Is it just a square tree I think it is oh no it’s uh yeah well let’s go back to that shipwreck are you guys are you following me are you following me oh you’re such you’re so adorable yeah I think this might be a shipwreck over here well there’s definitely one right there

So go after this one first and then the other one well I don’t know if this is a St prick it looks like it could be some some what was that noise it scared me okay there is no shipwreck over here so I seen one over here right I see one over here

Right right there what the no way is that what I think it is an ocean Monument hello man if I was more confident I would do that cuz there’s like a [ __ ] ton of gold in there this Wonder there’s a shipwreck over here am I imagining things huh let’s just go in just

Run oh there’s jungle over there I don’t want to get in the Jungle Run run run oh I can’t run um I’m going to go ahead and say that’s a fail that’s a fail That’s a hardcore fail I rather be like already Gathering materials uh Hardcore temp number what was that is this six it did three did four I think this is six attempt for sped Run rerun speed rerun I think it’s six may be six I don’t know oh dear let’s figure out if we can die stupidly bad excuse me am I surrounded on all sides oh this is survival oh no I goofed up already did I goof up hold on let’s let’s see what

Happens yes it’s a survival we’re just going to explore see what the world generation is this is an attempt I guess unless I die once and then I was like no well no because you have to count the damage right so let’s go ahead do that do that

Boom I’m on a boat and I’m going fast and we’re going somewhere And well you know what I don’t see anything value this way plus it’s not hardcore mode so I don’t wa wait what up my dudes I’m here for a sloppy driveby wow very treasure map let’s go look for treasure treasure we’re going to need some more wood remember this isn’t an intent this

Just me goofing off because I messed up the gener generation of this world all right boom uh boom boom boom boom get get out no I think something is wrong with my mouse because I could not click to get rid of that um we’re we’re going with wooden

Chevos for now I’m taking this with you with me with some is that shipwreck Oho that is a shipwreck Uh should be right over here let me look at the map again let me out wait a minute what am I doing what am I doing do that get a pick and start mining I got to pick it up Tony I just want to see what’s in it what’s

What’s in the what’s in the chest show me that chest swagy swagy swoot oh no no wait um oh there it is holy crap holy look at all of that what was that potion of water breathing man man all right thank you for joining me on these silly attempts uh I appreciate

It I hope you have a good one Adventures uh hopefully I do some more studying and I able to better go forth and not be a derp not get excited I I’m I’m generating such good worlds in my opinion that I would love to just do a

Long play on but like I’m rushing through it I’m I got I’m trying to go beat the game as fast as possible so I can only enjoy what I I can enjoy the sites I can appreciate the world generation as I move forward for what it is oh