INSANE! Steve’s SAVAGE Revenge on Alex!

Oh this gardening is so much hard work alex has put me to more slavery nonetheless i actually do enjoy gardening it makes the world a better place it grows the crops and it stops us from having to buy all this fake food in the supermarkets so sowing the

Seeds will make the world a better place it will put people alex in their place ah okay fine i do feel like everything is becoming a little bit easier in life things are going up i think finally we’ve got ourselves a garden worth screaming about

I am so thirsty i am going to die of dehydration alex i really need a drink can i have a drink yes you can just make sure to be quick because i’m feeding socks okay socks good cat yo he’s such a good cat much better than you isn’t he

Steve well let’s don’t be like that i’m doing the gardening yeah just what you should be doing okay i’ve got myself a drink come on then hurry up i’m going quickly stop it alex hurry up just let me concentrate and drink the drink Oh alex oh my goodness you made me spill it oh my goodness look we have done it’s gone everywhere oh it’s your fault it’s your fault and look so how dare you do that in front of socks are kitty no it’s such the cat oh you bad influence clear this up now

Oh well i’ll just do the gardening and i’ll just i’ll just do everything won’t i alex ah so frustrating if you just let me drink my drink let me concentrate i could do things correctly ah mittens i mean socks your name changes every week okay your mittens to me though all right socks

Anyway the point being is is that you are the reason why i got blamed and i’m getting it in the neck so i just need to concentrate i’m going to go back to gardening and everything is going to go a little bit smoother okay but excuse me what are you no

I’m the trolly goblin godly goodly garden what what the what on earth was that you sound like you’re a troll probably garden the gardener oh they’re troubling gobbling goody googly go uh excuse me sir please you’re ruining my garden alex is gonna get mad please stop it hello oh my god goblin trolling

Oh my goodness i don’t want to have to kill this thing if you don’t leave oh god alex alex what is going on i hear this troll thing oh you look pissed Everything seems to be going wrong alex just calm down it’ll leave eventually yeah yeah he’s finding me it deserves to hello steve okay i just need to be quick okay quickly grab this i’ve got this okay alex i’m coming oh man this is all right stupid probably goblin goblin gardener

I could kill alex right now i could end the pain i could kill the trolley goblin goblin for annoying me but alex could get rid of her right that’s it you troll gobbly gobbley goober take that you stupid troll oh well thank you very much

Ah well thank you very much you just let him nibble worm do you would you what get back to work fix this garden and start cleaning the house alex i just saved your life i don’t care are you gonna do it anyway you little insulin fool alex seriously you need to stop with

This behaviour fine alex i’ll do it i’ll sweep the house seriously need to find a way just to get rid of her i mean okay sweep the house think about something think of a way singing for something think about hi i’ve got a good idea i make a dummy

Version of me alex will never know she’s that stupid this is my only trick that i’ve ever come up with that might actually work okay put the head on just looks like me mittens do not grasp me up okay some arms on there oh my goodness

This is such a good idea oh my goodness alex is coming down the stairs i better hide behind the sofa quick quick oh steve why are you doing the cleaning i told you i told you you better listen to me if you don’t listen to me you’re a

Big big trouble you’ll be down in the basement again and i know you don’t want to go to the basement oh i know have you been getting fat as well i mean you’re actually looking a lot more handsome how is this even possible oh steve oh my

Goodness i know what’s happening to me oh look gorgeous what on earth oh my goodness steve i love you mittens do not look she’s kissing me mittens don’t say i think oh give me a hug oh you love a good old hug don’t you oh oh my goodness

I’m just gonna have to think okay the moment has come i cannot deal with alex anymore not even if i get a divorce i need to figure out a way to get rid of her now it’s time to build a plan time to think i have these switches i

Could blow her up i could send it to the moon i could bash her on the head and leave her in the middle of nowhere i could i could saw her up and drop her out to little bits and feed her to pigs oh my goodness the endless opportunities

I could turn her into a zombie i could shoot her with an arrow i could pretend she was evil no one would notice oh the plans the evil plans i could punch her in the face and she could go and leave me she’ll never want me again or i could

Just tell her a bad joke i i need to work out and realize how my strengths yeah yeah oh my goodness get rid of alex get rid of alex one pump one alex get rid of alex feeling invigorated i’m feeling strong i am feeling so

Yes what are you doing in there i’m just planning to kill you okay just make sure you’re at bed at night okay no later okay i’m planning to kill you i don’t care just make sure you’re in bed oh okay alex oh god she’s an idiot i’m just

Gonna plan i’m just gonna move i’m side step right step right step left step right step oh yep oh yeah i’m ready i’m ready i’m ready i’m ready how did she know i was in there if she didn’t she must have just oh i don’t know what’s going on she probably

Thought there was two steves there for a second who knows have you been standing here this whole time yeah no i was in the garage like you know oh oh well i don’t care just get to bed it’s not even that late get to bed now oh alex It’s time i’ve had enough of alex it’s my moment of truth i’ve been thinking of this plan i’ve had a precaution in place for kill alex and don’t look back and he’s going on that mountain over there i have something ready for alex dear i’m ju i’m just going to go out okay

Be late seriously my time has come to get rid of alex this perfectly built specially placed building tower which has everything i Need the water bucket to make my way up to the top so no one else could climb up here ah perfect see just in my house alex i can even hear if i’m here See she’s that loud i’m ready think of all the times that we’ve had all the bad times all the good times all the times we’ve had together i mean yeah sure they were bad but they were amazing they were my life they were everything i’ve worked for i

Mean my house has evolved we have better cars we have a garden and this all happened because of her hard work that’s it i’m done take this alex oh no i missed oh my goodness she’s gonna be so mad hopefully she doesn’t know it’s me it’s

A sniper it’s miles away you would you no one would ever know that i did this okay deep breaths oh my goodness alex were you there ow they’re your favorite you know what you’re not as good as me i have other please Where am i oh oh my goodness that looks like some sort of electrical chair sometimes the device waterboarding gear oh my goodness i mean torture chamber alex please if you could hear me you’ve got to let me out i did not mean to snipe you i i swear shut up steve

This here is an electrical chair and you think you can assassinate me when i’ve always had a plan b for you just in case you left me for more than a week i was always gonna kidnap you alex please no shut up now it’s time for you to die little boy

Say goodbye steve you tried to kill me and i’m a woman and with great power comes great responsibility nothing seems to be happening alex die die die alex have you ever tried maybe getting batteries when you plug this in oh yeah thanks for helping me grab this oh thank you very much [Applause] You