Java for the Haters in 100 Seconds

Java a boilerplate driven language designed for writing verbose object-oriented instant legacy code it came into being thanks to a relentless hype campaign by sun microsystems in the middle of the dot-com bubble it’s kind of like the macaulay culkin of programming languages it was originally invented to create a better tv remote

Than it officially launched for public use in 1996 and nobody’s bothered to update the website ever since regardless java has been running on 3 billion devices for the last 25 years most of which are blu-ray players its motto is right once run everywhere which developers know actually means write

Once debug everywhere remember the log4j fiasco you can blame java for that one still java has a great mascot a little one-eyed monster named duke and people love to hate it so much that it’s inspired an entire class of programming languages designed to make java better like groovy closure scala and kotlin

Just to name a few unfortunately though there is no cure java also inspired javascript a language that has taken developers 25 years to make halfway decent and one time java even tried to steal javascript’s job with applets on the web luckily applet sucks so bad they

Made html css and javascript look like a good abstraction for building uis now when your company adopts java you’ll also want to adopt oracle database so you can spend the next 20 years talking about migrating to postgres while paying an ungodly amount of money that will be directly reinvested into these awesome

Sailing yachts to get started set aside a few days to install the jdk jre and jvm on your machine it’s also recommended that you have a vertical monitor to read the error logs that are coming now before writing any code say this with me public static void main

String args public static void main string args now to say hello world create a class java forces you into object oriented programming which means you’ll want to read design patterns cover to cover before you go any further now it’s time for your public static void main string args and then finally

System.out.printline with hello world as you can see we get a lot more boilerplate than something like python which is a feature and definitely not a fundamental design flaw or anything you’ll want to start by writing one giant bloated class then when your boss complains break it into a hierarchy of

Deeply nested subclasses that will make it impossible to refactor the next step is to ragequit from your job life is way too short to be coding in java man and with that i think i’ve lost enough subscribers for one video there are only two kinds of languages the ones people

Complain about and the ones nobody uses whether you love it or hate it jabba can get stuff done and for that it deserves our respect thanks for watching and i will see you in the next one