Minecraft but I can’t leave this Space Station

Crafty’s Captain log stardate uh seven uh I’ll be honest I do not know how star dates work Minecraft’s very first spaceship was launched and I was hired to make sure it lands safely why why’d they do that that was a bad I don’t know

What Mars is but I want to be the first person to taste it everything was running smoothly until what the heck was that dude oh goodness I’m not ready for this find a suit I need to find a spacesuit otherwise I’m not gonna be able to breathe and my favorite thing to

Do is breathing all right here’s the storage unit please please wheat seeds no wheat seeds no where did I put the spacesuit man I’m alone in a spaceship dude you can’t blame me for going commando please please please yes okay space suits don’t pick ax perfect

Okay okay I can breathe again it does smell like toots but that’s probably my fault I’ll be honest I did start my adventure eating all of the beans oh man what the heck is going on here dude restore power it says okay I gotta restore the power of the place otherwise

How am I gonna play Playstation dude oh man I am not equipped for this man oh crafty remember you’re training dude I gotta find the reactor okay here’s the reactor I gotta turn it on somehow what’s broken here uh press button until something’s fixed the classic oh come on

Man I I don’t want to let everybody down dude Elon husk trusted me with this Mission oh I see Uh something’s wrong with this okay this is the reactor here do I just turn these back on oh I see hold on hold on hold on I might need to

Change these colors here all right blue goes there red goes there in green and now is that gonna work yeah power restored dude time to play some Call of oh systems online hello my name is Claire oh what’s up Claire how you doing I’ve been here alone for weeks but now

All of a sudden AI talks to me multiple system failures detected critical whole damage detected please address all damage in the East and West Wing connectors oh gosh dang it no worries Claire I got this love you okay she doesn’t say it back that’s fine that’s fine I’m looking for some hole

Damage it said okay well I think that’s hole damage goodness gracious there’s a giant hole in this ship dude so to repair it I need a welding torch and looks like 10 whole blocks as well I might be able to craft a welding torch okay the engineering room might have

What I need here uh welding torch perfect that’s what I need and whole blocks all right don’t worry hole I’m coming to fix you holy hole this could be bad alrighty hole I’m gonna fix the hole out of you just use the blowtorch and all the parts there we go okay just

Use that there and repair ah Perfect Dude I build a pretty cool wall oh gosh there’s so many holes around here dude there’s holes in the holes boom fixed man oh I’m so good at this all right Claire that’s all the holes I could find ah whole damage repaired all right that

Should be good can I go back to sleep in 12 hours a day Claire whoa has been successfully restored oxygen levels critical oh ventilation severely damaged that’s not good I kind of need oxygen until you know breathe or whatever speaking of how do they get the oxygen

There’s no trees on this place I do love breathing me some treat farts that’s where oxygen comes from right tree farts ah I see I gotta fix these vents here so I need 10 vent blocks well I guess I could go to my therapist for that one

Vent blocks no oh goodness here’s our giant fan here and it looks like it’s uh got some cobwebs on here I might not be alone I might have some spiders joining me on this journey here get out of here cobwebs there we go oh the fan is

Damaged too I need 10 iron ingots to fix the fan as well gosh dang it Where’d I get iron from I did not pay attention during the training manual I have no idea how to make vent blocks dude oh well now I do I knew it was stored in

That subconscious somewhere let’s see okay vent blocks I need a bunch of iron got it so I need a bunch of uh iron hey Claire how do I get iron asteroid detected outside airlock one analysis shows iron ore composition oh gosh Claire I gotta go out and mine asteroid

We got seven thousand why tires but didn’t think you know to take some iron sorry guys I’m just venting all right well let’s go mine an asteroid shall we uh I have to do everything myself this is the first time actually I’ve gone out in space all right got my spacesuit on

Oh I’m really nervous let’s close this door here and here goes nothing I guess yeah I’m nervous dude and here we are ah there’s the asteroid oh my goodness there’s a bunch of iron over there hey Claire can you hear hear me in the helmet that’s good detected well that

Was unhelpful look at me dude I’m floating in space man oh gosh zero gravity is kind of creepy I’m gonna be honest hello giant rock I’m looking to mine you I’ll name you Dwayne for no reason at all Mr Dwayne just gonna take a little off the top here give you a

Little haircut oh yes looking great what a nice fade we got going on now are these just normal yeah this is normal iron is this how Iron shows up in Minecraft Overworld that’d be cool smells like Earth well technically it doesn’t I can’t smell through my spacesuit but you know it’s the thought

That counts oh this feels so good dude I’ve been so bored on this man uh it reminds me of Home mining iron all right well hopefully a stack will do it if not I can always come back man that rock smelled like asteroids honey I’m home

Okay so we just got to take this iron smelt it up and then get ourselves some what are we doing again ventilation severely dancing Claire Claire it was a joke it was a joke oh goodness I just realized I don’t have any coal to use to smelt this bad boy five saplings though

Man oh I’m gonna feel bad I gotta burn trees ooh alien saplings that’s cool probably shouldn’t use that as fuel we’ll end up with alien iron or something there we go fix my beautiful vents tell me about your day how many times will I use that vent joke I don’t

Know as many times as I once my video jerk uh well I fixed all my vents hey uh Claire can I vent to you okay and now just gotta fix this giant fan here and speaking of fans thanks for being a fan and subscribing love you yeah fan is repaired ah looking good

Feels good it’s been a long day dude our oxygen system is online oxygen system successfully repaired oxygen system online hey that’s great news Claire by the way Claire what are you doing tomorrow could you use some company around here Claire oh gosh oh Claire never wants to talk just task test task

Is all she wants to do plane antenna is not responding maintenance required well that’s not good our main antenna is actually how we communicate with the Overworld so not only am I alone but nobody knows I’m having these problems I’m not entirely sure what I’ll need I’ll grab some more of these whole

Blocks and I’ll grab some of these wires as well let’s try to fix this antenna huh I’m used to breaking stuff but I guess I can do the reverse today if I was an antenna where would I hide oh that must be an antenna requires 10 wires and iron ingots hey heck yeah

Dwayne you’re coming in handy again dude I got everything I need there we go all right press this lever yeah and press this button main antenna fully operational sending distress signal sending a d dress signal uh Claire I don’t think I should take my spacesuit

Off out here but uh if you say so distress oh distress distress right right right well now that we sent that distress signal I’m hoping we get some help soon and I could just sit back and relax for a while laboratory containment system has failed ensure all specimens from recent

Planetary missions are contained what now dude Laboratories failed or laboratory as I like to call it we’ll call you Dexter for no reason at all all right what’s wrong with you dude oh gosh what the heck Alien Parasite oh gosh no no no don’t touch me don’t touch me

Welding torch attack that does nothing okay hold on I’ll be back I do remember in my training video it said something about a laser gun I’m not gonna forget a laser gun so let me find that real quick uh Med Bay no air lock no Barracks okay

Bunks there was bugs in here the whole time dude I’ve been sleeping on the floor dude oh gosh that’s embarrassing Armory here it is here it is we got ourselves a laser gun and parasite you’re going down in history is one of the best made movies of all time oh I

Gotta hurry dude the timer’s going down fast oh I’m walking so slow man I don’t have any food on me all right after I complete this task I gotta find a way to get myself some food and munchie these I already ate all my bags of Cheetos on

Day one all right here we are hello monster where is he oh there’s the parasite dude I do not want that guy eating my face man he looks small but he’s dangerous who knows man he might lay eggs in my chest or eat my brains or

Something it won’t be that much of a snack I’m gonna be honest don’t get back dude laser attack all right well at least I know the Laser Gun Works the one thing is not broken in this whole Space Station ah take that oh my goodness this is kind of horrifying

Man how many of those are there how’d you guys get here dude die monster okay okay is that all of them oh no there’s more there’s more there’s more all right I think that’s all of them threats neutralized all right we got them all certified bug squisher that’s

Me crafty reporting for Duty I said Duty oh I see what happens so these must be the parasites eggs then and since we lost power it must uh they hatched or whatever well this guy’s uh holding on tight so just for safety I like my eggs well done yeah all right well that

Should be done with the parasites weirdly enough I’ve actually never seen this side of the ship before I don’t know why there’s two chairs dude I’m the only person on this whole spaceship what the heck is this Shield plasma synthesizer I don’t know what that is looks important please don’t break okay

Let’s go figure out this food situation my tummy is a grumbling ooh the greenhouse now this should have some kind of food around here right oh gosh the crops are all gone I don’t remember eating all this man I have been here for a couple of days though and you

Know I go through bread like it’s nothing it goes right to the thighs seed machine five seed machine six oh we have machines that do everything wait hold on was I supposed to put seeds in these bad boys uh yeah they’re all empty well uh

That might be my bad that might be why I’ve got no food it’s cool it’s cool all right that’s all six oh there’s like a patch here looks like some dead trees wait a minute can I plant alien saplings oh that might be a bad idea I did just

Fight off a bunch of parasites I’m hoping this isn’t bad but it looks good my motto is anything that color is beautiful and handsome and here to help anyways the joke is Crafty is also blue I guess I just activate our Cedars here oh there they go plant little buddies

I’ll have food for years oh it’s gorgeous dude I’ll actually have food I will have to only survive off of bread for who knows how long this is but I mean I’ll take it now I just gotta activate these sprinklers here and I’m hoping that’ll grow pretty fast uh yes

Come on grow little buddies grow yeah whoa that’s awesome dude our trees grow up too hi oh what the heck yes yes Claire I know I can see them I can see them bad guys oh gosh I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m gonna die get out

Of here dude oh no no oh my goodness they dropped something though here they dropped the plasma ax an alien attack dude that is not good multiple fires are still being detected ship wide fire smoke please remain in the greenhouse and I will commence emergency fire removal procedures opening airlocks this

Is not good this is not good put out the fires oh crushed it clear I’m glad it uh I mean I was here to help but fire emergency resolved I mean fires are usually good for sitting by on Christmas but when you’re in space fires are usually a Bad Thing alien attacks and

Panic attacks I have to watch out for now well the good news is I got plenty of bread to eat and I have carbs for days I will only have bread to eat for the next couple of months but you know what I’ll just act like I’m French or

Something all right well that’ll do it for now at least what was that oh dude are alien trees they’re dropping diamonds dude yeah I knew you weren’t the bad guy I was worried when the aliens spawned the alien trees were the reason but no I’ve got half a stack of

Diamonds already keep coming boys diamonds aren’t quite as tasty as Brett is but I’ll take all the diamonds I can get huh infinite diamonds baby this is awesome okay okay okay duh what was that the force field generator has been severely damaged and requires maintenance go away aliens aliens

They’re trying to be the first ones to Mars or maybe they just want to drink Diamond blood or something oh I’m so low on health but I do not have time to eat man oh if I don’t repair the shields fast the whole ship might be done for uh

Plasma synthesizer okay that is nothing Claire what am I supposed to do here dude help me out here station Shields consists of one part plasma and one part Crystal like uh Crystal Pepsi I did not bring that I think that uh stopped being produced in the 80s Claire what the

Robots not speak sarcasm you need crystals and plasma empty plasma canister well oh wait a second crystals I do have diamonds I don’t know if that counts as crystals but I don’t have a whole lot of options to work with here I gotta find myself some plasma or

Something close enough at least plasma no plasma no where the heck do I find plasma man the aliens are attacking can you help me out where do I find plasma uh slime uh that might do that’s close enough right oh gosh I gotta pick up the Slime from the waist area gross all

Right well I got a bunch of lime I hope this works I’ll grab these empty canisters and I’m hoping that if I put in some slime balls and some diamonds in we can at least Jerry rig this thing to work at least for now crossing my fingers please work dude please don’t

Explode something happened uh did it make plasma yes sealed plasma dude I could not believe that worked man I just sneezed into it and put some diamonds in Boom Shields restored all right Shields I’m here to fill up put that Plasma in there and hopefully the aliens cannot attack anymore boom Forest field

Repaired oh thank goodness I still got this empty plasma should I try it should I no don’t drink the plasma crafty just make yourself some food I’m so hungry I’m ready to drink some Shield plasma okay if nothing could break for the next five seconds while I make myself some

Bread that’d be awesome all right uh a nice lunch break everything cool huh weird it feels weird nothing’s broken all right well I mean we’ll take that we might have fixed all the problems friendly crew and Engineers have docked at airlock 2 you our backup has arrived

Oh gosh finally dude some good news unless the aliens crew are called friendly no probably not it’s probably our backup we called earlier uh airlock 2. I got friends oh my goodness this is the best news hello friendship crew oh it’s so nice to see a friendly nose oh

Good to see you Dude Looks like they trade stuff I can trade an alien technology part and slime for a slime grenade now we’re talking man I’ve never been happier to hear her before well boys I don’t have alien technology Parts just yet but I will be back then I see

More crew members looks like they’re in the med Bay oh gosh we’ve got medical staff now uh do you mind look at this rash that I have oh engineer right sorry you got any rash ointment for uh no reason it’s for a friend of mine of course Shield plasma and iron ingots for

A reflector shield okay well I’ll grab one of those bad boys so if I click this button oh it puts a shield around me well that’s very nice oh and there’s some Med spray here that’ll be nice ah yes I love Med spray we got food now we

Have Med spray and most importantly we got company ah so good to see you boys oops sorry I probably shouldn’t point this right at you warning multiple warp signatures detected oh bad guys bad guys hey do not take out my new friends man boys get cover stop looking at each

Other man run yeah take this alien scum oh there’s more there’s more that’s right that’s it yeah didn’t even need my Med spray but I’ll just use it as ax body spray this time oh yes very refreshing it does smell like Tylenol but you know what it feels good oh gosh

I hear lasers where are they guys ah there he is take this I’ll use my plasma ax use your own weapon against you looks like they do drop our alien technology part so that’ll be useful where are those aliens dude you’re hiding from me oh there he is oh gosh that scared me

For real dude come here ah take that alien scum there’s still more out and about you can call me the alien Hunter you can also call me crafty or uh Papa if you’re my son I don’t have a son stay down Jeremiah there’s more out here look

At him man they’re gross they do have a crazy six-pack though look at him Skip Leg Day though oh don’t look at me don’t look at me just pretend I’m a bush bush ah they noticed me ah take this yeah oh straight for them plasma acts you can’t

Take off my friends oh gosh they do a lot of damage no no no Med spray medspray help me out here can I overdose on bed spray I hope not foreign that’s right that’s right Paul has suffered extreme damage and is in need of repair ah no worries been here before

I gotta watch out for aliens though ah they broke the same holes as earlier dude what the heck huh why can’t this work requires 10 reinforced hole blocks hmm I do not have that I don’t know how to make that but I’m hoping with reinforced blocks at least it’ll hold a

Little better I see Iron diamonds a whole block well I know how to get diamonds at least oh time is running out dude I gotta go fast I’ll take a shortcut okay that’s a very long shortcut that was a bad idea come here beautiful Diamonds oh perfect oh thank

You Diamond Tree the only time aliens have been nice to me in this episode hurry hurry hurry hurry reinforce blocks grab as many of those as I can ah time is running out I’m gonna try to repair these before the aliens spawned back again and I’m hoping with this

Reinforced hole blocks it’ll stay this time go go go go go go go go go come on come on come on we can’t let the aliens win dude prepare faster please please please uh yeah yeah oh successfully restored okay thank goodness that solved and I think we made it with no

Casualties well uh outside of the you know the aliens but they’re bad guys ooh upgrade shield now that’s a good idea for once we’re not just solving problems we’re actually adding some defenses now we’re talking hello lovely force field I need 10 alien technology Parts no

Problem where did I get these uh don’t ask yeah force field upgraded take that aliens force field generator operating at 200 capacity 200 capacity hopefully that’ll hold off the aliens at least for a while now I’m not just gonna upgrade my defenses though no siree I’m gonna

Grab myself a few more of these slime blocks cause your boy is gonna get himself some slime grenades here we go what’s up boys glad you guys are doing all right can I grab a couple of these slime grenades thank you sirs now we’re talking I’ve got upgraded defenses

Upgraded attacks I’m ready to take this battle to the aliens warning an alien ship is engaging with multiple weapon systems well glad we updated our defensive warning Shield damage sustained Shield at 95 percent yes our Shield is working help requested from the command center all right hold on I’m

Coming all right I think this is the command center hey gents how you doing hey great job upgrading those Shields they’re crafty call validation yep no problem see Claire it’s not that hard we’re scrambling the alien warp devices scrambling sounds delicious that along with the upgrades you made to the force

Field generator it’ll keep those aliens from warping aboard now if you can repair the warp control console or WCC for short we can warp aboard their ship and defeat them no get right on it I’d salute you but I don’t have elbows ah there it is Hello beautiful control

Panel or wakaka uh right click with welding torch not enough iron ingots oh shoot I thought I got plenty of iron from earlier hold on guys I gotta visit Dwayne real quick uh Dwayne’s uh uh it’s fine whatever oh I have everything I need I think hold on how am I eating

Bread dude I’m not gonna question it it might be dangerous out here so I’m a little nervous I’ve got my laser gun I’ve got my slime grenades what’s up Dwayne I’m back buddy all right I gotta watch out for bad guys I Know The Enemy ship is around here somewhere and

Thankfully our ship shield prevents the aliens from landing on you know our spaceship but uh Duane is out here vulnerable he looks safe so far but I can trust no one come on hurry dude all I need is eight iron oh God did you hear

That no uh somebody’s here I can feel it oh what the heck hey back up monsters oh I knew I heard something there’s a bunch of them up here hey slime grenade attack oh that works great dude now’s good time to use my force field yeah can’t touch

Me now I got my own Shield slime grenade go it looks like my force field can take on about three shots oh my Force Field’s down oh God oh God don’t mess with my friend Dwayne I’m just here for the haircut all right let’s grab our iron

And get the heck out of here hey gents I’m back gotta see a man about a rock that should be just enough to get this control panel back up and running yeah warp Council repaired I did it guys it’s done oh gosh are they gonna warp me

Somewhere wait a minute warp me into the enemies I can take them great work maybe you should be an engineer oh stop I’ll leave that to you professionals now we’re being there and I’ll show him who’s boss commence and warp to alien ship in three two one go get em crafty

Oh here we are oh my gosh I should have eaten before this med spray Med spray medspray but we’re in the alien ship right now dude hold on hold on timeout timeout take this aliens don’t mess with us earthlings dude or uh Minecraft links or uh whatever

Easy peasy oh my gosh who the heck is that dude oh hello there sir how you doing he’s huge man oh he’s taking so many hits come on oh my gun jammed up dude it’s not shooting come on Yo gosh oh gosh oh gosh ah no no no no no no no

No no heal up heal up heal up I could take one hit yeah we got him dude yeah they’re all taken out I’m ready boys wart me back yeah feels good to be home thanks boys oh we did a great job commencing warp commencing warp starting FTL Drive let’s

Go warp canceled what FTL Drive systems are not responding what gosh dang it man oh want to do is get to Mars why is that so hard to go to another planet all right we’re in the engine room uh FTL drive that’s what I need what’s going on

Here buddies hello broken FTL Drive well that’s not good I’ll take that back to Robert are you broken too looks like that one’s working all right well boys looks like our FTL Drive is broken oh I can trade him and that’ll give us a fixed FTL Drive man that was easy what’d

You do sneeze on it classic developers they just look at something all of a sudden it’s working again maybe he just turned it off and on again put the FTL Drive in there and boom we got it commencing warp starting FTL Drive FTL drives engaged warping come on let’s go

To Mars dude try hold on do I need a seat belts oh gosh I’m nervous uh did we make it are we here at Mars uh what the heck this doesn’t look like Mars final battle asteroid field in our flight path that doesn’t sound like an asteroid well

We had a recipe pop up there so something new I can craft a mining laser gun sweet dude check me out I got a uh looks like a fork I’m ready to taste Mars so I guess I can use this to take out the asteroid and whatever else made

That noise oh my goodness guys that is a lot of Dwayne’s I gotta take out take this imposter Dwayne oh my goodness oh well guys I think I figured out what was making that noise it’s a space Dragon usually dragons are stuck in the end but when they escape they fly around to

Different planets and take out everybody’s uh I don’t know motivation oh I love this mining laser dude this is so nice oh I’m sorry Dragon it must be done yeah take that you foul monster no more eating people for you all right now I just gotta clear this asteroid field

And we should be on our way to Mars thank you well that should do it all the big asteroids are taken out at least let’s get ourselves to Mars