Minecraft Roleplay GONE WRONG

With a good podcast recording guys do you guys have any rituals post podcast recording like is there anything you guys like to do I want a jerk yeah I’m gonna go zerk off with panda oh my God what what is that it was right out

Here guys I think it wants to sniff me can I write it oh dude it’s sniffing your booty is this real what am I witnessing the game because wow no I actually hate this yeah thank you glad we never have to see that again well if you look at my screen it’s actually

Frozen dead on my screen well welcome back everybody to the Goon SMP it’s me gooner and I’m joined by my three good Nets our Town’s looking so beautiful isn’t it just don’t look up we did some off-camera oh Jesus Christ we did some off-camera Mining and the town is looking absolutely beautiful and

I think we put a name to it what do you say okay yeah duneville Boone City man guntopolis really hoping for something more creative than that oh dude June Inc what the hell oh wow those small businesses I might start a family here no don’t come in don’t come in okay thanks

Hey you’re supporting small business in our new goonville I don’t get this small business it has one sign that says goon Inc it has another that says goon Enterprise oh yeah by the way see that white you’re slipping on Astro I’d get off of that oh

Jesus man does that come Nico look at this babe what I don’t want to look at any babes dude I don’t look at any babes I want to understand thank you Listen say what you say what you want about panda if you really understand self-care back smika let’s go can I show you guys what I’ve been working on oh yeah yeah man come down here you see this where the smoke plumes are coming from oh this is safe Panda oh it’s a campfire

That’s a fire yeah I’ve totally rebuilt and refurbished and modernized the famine Family Mart This is really beautiful where’s all the like uh the hot sandwiches I can buy or like well there’s none yeah there’s none yet but I’m gonna be working on in the upcoming episodes it took so long uh and a lot of money to get this to its previous state because someone plays

Pressure plates everywhere why why are you looking at are you looking at me okay you’re overloading the system stop sorry can I can I offer like One Piece One Piece One Piece yeah what um I noticed that when I step on the pressure plate like it plays something comprehensible and last time

Like I did you a huge favor I put like a 2013 EDM Riser and I can’t help but notice it doesn’t sound like that anymore I didn’t I didn’t decide to go with that concept I’m sorry ah this is kind of fun stop respect my property for once huh whatever happened

To that you ever read John Locke huh now look there’s family Mark I’m gonna I’m gonna hire out employees they’re gonna be the best damn employees ever and they’re gonna work these uh these aisles once I build the aisles and then uh we’re gonna have a great store

It’s not a library stop oh [ __ ] I got food poisoning from your family Mark oh [ __ ] I’m gonna sue you oh okay well that took care of that problem now I guess he settled do you guys want to see what I built it’s actually the perfect time now that

The moon is out oh yeah sure all right come with me guys what do you guys know about ancient civilizations oh aliens in the water Atlantis and and then the pyramids uh were built from Alien civilization and then there was like the reptilians Machu Picchu yeah exactly

What’s up with this large craters this is how the dinosaurs died no that’s actually where a panda fell holy [ __ ] what is this Mika why is there blood here what’s actually really cool about this place is um when the moon sets at just the right time you can see

It between these two pillars and that’s how you know it’s time to kill someone um oh yeah the whole let me give you a bit of history about this place so as you know it was built two thousand years ago um by aliens sorry it needs some gardening is graffiti allowed sure yeah

Okay video you want is this is this disrespectful to the I just oh wow that that is not graffiti I just have a different idea for it like I just have a different interpretation it’s actually not graffiti it’s just like completely like ruins the entire

Bit that I was gonna do but no that’s okay this is my skin tags when the moon it starts to like fall in between these two towers Legend has it that there will be um an annoying person monologuing on the sacrificial altar oh God I think it’s

About to happen and one of their friends is gonna like betray them instead I I guess the prophecy just oh there it is oh that’s the sun yeah uh-oh we’re gonna have to wait all over again oh guys guys it’s about to happen oh the Moon the Moon apparently what happens is

Someone takes this sword like this one on the wall what and um plunges it into the back of the person watching the Moon while they’re talking about the moon setting isn’t that beautiful man have you seen anything that beaut oh yeah it’s kind of like a

Symbol for like The Rebirth of Life what do you know about rebirths well because as the blood falls through the sacrificial altar it gives life to the plants as the sun set uh Rises Anew you know that’s actually deep yeah it’s just kind of like a red like Socrates before

Or maybe John Locke yeah I can’t stop with you it’s a lot I’ve read a republic by Plato I guess what did you think of faestus’s speech about boys and the men they love phaedrus Festus first phase member yeah it’s crazy how like the moon set and nothing happened wait because a

Science spawn what does it say foreign the whole time why are you upset you didn’t get killed man Australia hey oh my God guys guys guys whoa whoa what the [ __ ] what the deuce all right well we’ll just leave him over there what the [ __ ] is going I’m lagging even

Worse than the Becca is man [ __ ] I’m playing Hypixel here’s what I do in high pixel when I’m feeling down I just stand in a Lobby and I wait for people to crowd around me for screenings really sad OMG YouTubers they’re following me they’re following me it’s like they care

About me I hate to say it but goon Inc might be the number one employer in guntopia I think we should build a competitor to goonig so they don’t yes yes they’re noticing me oh man we really need you man things are literally getting bad it’ll look like La here why actions I

Have no consequences thank you is he jerking off in there oh I think he is yeah guys calm down I’m almost done this isn’t good can we ruin it for you you did you [ __ ] ruined it oh wait this is a new building you know uh this reminds me of that one time

Well guys I’m gonna be honest with you I don’t really like how Good Inc has just been taking all the jobs in this town and I’d like for it to change so I was thinking of just burning it down oh wait actually that sounds pretty fun yeah I’m

Gonna make my own business right next to goon Inc what the [ __ ] are you doing man stop you’re coming with me you don’t have to work there anymore you’re fired why are you fighting you’re not even resisting I think you want this I need a hard labor what that store is stinky [ __ ]

[ __ ] I saw the tickles I kind of like it you know I’m gonna bring you to my store dude stop stop stop please you want this no I don’t want this it’s moldy in here do you ever clean why would I ever clean you know I just wanted this to be a

Friendly rivalry right you know I want our business to go hand in hand so don’t think if this is a competition right but I did a new 3D gooning experience that’s very interesting because it says goon Enterprise here XD meanwhile you pretty much did the same thing just come inside Jesus Christ

What do you think this is stupid yours is definitely not better than mine you’re kind of looking at it like very fondly you get out no I’ll give you time to Mika come check out the new business man just don’t mind it right outside

I had a good time you can clean up in there okay listen I have been putting in a lot of overtime hours over at the new place so when’s it opening up it’s opening up soon I’ll probably uh come by tomorrow it’ll be open tomorrow yeah probably tomorrow what what I can’t hear

You I’m gonna go back into the Goon cave I feel like I’m missing a lot of stuff going on right now yeah you’re too busy with your family Mart man well I’m renovating it we’re really excited to buy the [ __ ] family chicky shut up idea

There you go these are actually uh my my poop demons I’ve been trying to go to the uh the Goon Inc I mean goon Enterprise and uh there’s been a guy that’s been hogging it like all day does he even have an appointment dude you put a spot on her

Like you could have just spawn an egg The Good Inc has never been lower man the stocks are dropping you gotta do something about it oh my god [Laughter] dude you gotta put an end to this man is goon Inc being sabotaged a bunch of gooners

Those are not mine those are not my customers yo you guys want to come for the unveiling of my brand new store oh hell yeah man yo why don’t you come here man I’m on my way oh it’s a pink building what the heck oh yeah you gotta

Come in here man oh wait a new goonie experience oh my God step around that you thought you were referring to him so guys [Laughter] let’s not look at that thing let’s just pretend that isn’t in the room right now listen as you guys know how economies work we’ve got businesses

And then we’ve got businesses that try to serve the people who partake in those businesses of course so we got we got two gooning businesses what does gooning make you it makes you very hungry I figure after doing all of that it makes oh and I orgasm all over your face too yeah so sometimes I go for seconds it’s good for acne scientifically to science for sure yeah that that all makes sense for sure since we have since we have such uh you know like

A high SES you know real estate here is pretty pricey no man so I want to introduce you to the first invite only meal replacement Shack well I hope we get an invite one day you’re all invited so let’s go yeah come on in guys okay wait are you no no no no

No is this what I think it is Mika glad I don’t think you want to come in here because that’s what I think it is what is that what’s going on is that Elizabeth no guys as I told you I hate Soylent now oh my god oh I’m freaking out

Oh my God he’s selling fuel this is fuel it’s fuel not fuel it’s not Soylent it’s better than that I want you guys to focus entirely on the product that I’m selling you know while I’m describing this okay okay hey guys what’s up okay yeah yeah

Sorry no it’s okay oh my God I got darker in here yeah I blocked all the lights I don’t want you to guys up in which way it’s really scary because I want you to focus on the product at hand okay what are you hitting schlot

I was I was stroking my meat I’m stroking my [ __ ] right now I got lotion on my [ __ ] this uh this product here it’s got one word oh [ __ ] this product it only has one word okay it’s called do do but also Do good greatness like d-o do like you’re calling it do like that that’s what you’re calling it do yeah do one of these will have you gooning for five hours what I’ll take your whole stock yeah okay I’ll take it does it stack like if we buy two can we goon for

Ten oh schlatt it doesn’t just stack it’s squares oh what [ __ ] God so two bottles you’re big you’ll be gooning for 25 hours almost over a full day of gooning straight I think it is and uh I don’t think he has to drink that much man how many bottles was that

Is that your lover what does that mean thank you come again I’m Gonna Come but yeah have fun dealing with a panda oh I hear the family Mark jingle just what I thought times were looking Bleak yeah this this store is really coming together soon we’re gonna have

Employees and everything hello tail yeah well I’m still working on getting the stock we’ve got the freezers up but some of them are not full it sounds like a lot of mercury poisoning and I’m concerned the Japanese people have some of the longest lifespans ever they live

Longer than most people and they eat this stuff very frequently so what do you have to say about that yeah I mean I I can speak for myself I’ve been eating tuna every day now for the past three months and I’ve definitely noticed some changes what have you noticed well I’ve grown an

Extra finger for one oh my God white dye at my feet you guys want to do more AI role play oh I do oh man get the [ __ ] away hold on we should do a little introvert so we asked you guys for more AI never mind [ __ ] it and you guys delivered

A panda make a schlatt and Astro are all at the bar hey everyone I’m here and I’m make out with all the fine ladies in here well The Real Slim Shady please stand up everybody better watch out I’m not playing games tonight yeah you can get me a beer in your

Number you better lose yourself in the music the moment you own it you better never let it go I’m not playing games anymore I’m not playing games anymore I’m not playing games anymore what the hell was all that about well you know about going through tax payments double

Digits of millions I just don’t like people I can’t believe I almost got killed in there oh don’t worry I’ll keep you safe from now on [Applause] is it guilty if I point out the pure hypocrisy I think you know what let’s all just go home

Like the idea that we all got we all got shot at we all walked out of the bar with you and then just continue to have a conversation get seated schlatt show some respect in my church Sorry Sorry God it’s like you didn’t even go to Sunday school

Some Catholic you are what are you Protestant aren’t you [ __ ] you that’s not even funny let us all take a moment of silence to pray and meditate on God’s word What is that noise a panda what are you doing I’m just praising the Lord I’m not jerking off or anything let’s just move on Astro you should really be paying attention I am paying attention I’m just you know multitasking new Twitter post today you can still participate without your phone just be present

Haha all right if you insist but what is good but maybe you could channel that energy and a more appropriate way sure Pastor wait pastor Pastor what the [ __ ] bloody Pastor is this a Protestant Church get the [ __ ] out of this church man Pastor I hardly know her

A panda I can’t help it the spirit just moves I think it would be best if you set this one out Astro put your phone away no sorry sorry let’s all take some time for ourselves and reflect on God’s message for us fake messenger false prophet hey can you shut the [ __ ] up this shit’s boring dude I’m going home Praise Jesus yes praise praise the Lord Catholic Jesus laughs Jesus was a Catholic [Laughter]

Okay real funny you say that actually [ __ ] you Protestant welcome everyone to our podcast recorded live from the mystical goon cave today’s topic revolves around the enigmatic world of gooning joining us or a panda mikasikus shlat and Astro let the gooning who wrote this man let the gooning Extravaganza begin [Applause]

Laughter Echoes Joy multiplies goon power uh the Goon cave a treasure Trove of laughter and absurdity though I may be a straight edge comic I can’t resist the magnetic pull of comedic chaos prepare yourselves for a nercastic experience filled with puns Galore in solidarity with the working class I

Gladly joined the Goon cave festivities laughter is a powerful tool that unites us providing a much needed respite from the struggles of everyday life let the gooning commence outraged absolutely outraged this golden cave nonsense is an affront to the serious matters that oh my God we need to focus on important

Matters like making money and building empires not indulging in this mindless laughter flat lineup goody is fun Everything better slat my dear friend lighten the mood with a pun laughter can be the bridge that connects us all even in the face of outrage Embrace The Whimsy and let your worries Melt Away okay Won’t solve anything it’s just a distraction from the real issues at hand laughter is not a distraction but a powerful force for change it helps us connect heal and find Joy amidst hardships the working class deserves amounts of respite and gooning provides that much needed relief my friend we

Agree with that show recruiting for all the United [ __ ] it’s it’s laughter Oh schlatt your resistance to the Goon caves Allure is as steadfast as a mountain I shall shower you with guns until your heart surrenders to The Whimsy what are you going to so right now never I won’t let goonin

Distract us from our goals we need to channel our energy into productive Endeavors not frivolous laughter well folks as you can see gooning can be a polarizing topic all right guys welcome to the world of Skype [ __ ] Minecraft sorry ah what Charming enthusiasm now let’s get down to business we should all

Remember why we are here to play the old-fashioned way like we did back in the day well Um before we get started can I make sure everyone understands that I can become a goblin at any moment and it’s totally normal sorry yeah Panda let’s just get started okay I’m gonna get started I’m gonna mine this tree out guys ah man this is so awesome I can’t believe we’re doing

This again yeah why you have so sweet titanium you see guys that’s the beauty of this version of Minecraft it can help us appreciate the simple things in life that we don’t always get to experience these days that’s how life was in the 1960s before neoliberals turned everything to ruins

Also that surprised me so much of that one see okay am I the only one who wants to build that house why do I why did I get an ender pearl bye bye bye bye panda wait you threw the Pearl where wait that has to land at some point what

The [ __ ] what happened oh my God