Hermitcraft RECAP – Season 9 Week 61

This week, on Hermitcraft: SCAR: Hey, I’ll be honest. I- I look down on people who drink milk. I dunno.  GEM: I put milk in things. Does that count? IMPULSE: [laughing] Why you gotta milk shame  right now, Scar? SCAR: I feel like it’s okay,  

Gem, to put it in things. But when I see like, an  adult, just chuggin’? I’m like, [cringe noise].  GEM: No, yeah, that’s gross. SCAR: Just makes me nauseated, honestly.  GEM: Sorry, Impulse. IMPULSE: [laughter fading] >> Welcome to the Hermitcraft Recap!

My name is Pixlriffs, our writer is SloyXP, captions on this video were provided by Lyarrah. And we haven’t blown anything up recently. Your move, Hermitcraft Server. After the explosion of TCG, it makes sense  that the rest of the server decided to  

Follow suit. So this week’s recap will be  co-directed by Michael Bay and John Woo,   just so we have the budget  for all these pyrotechnics. But we’re also setting off fireworks to  celebrate the return of Stressmonster to   our subscription feeds, the emergence  of some good old-fashioned prank wars,  

And VintageBeef building himself an actual house.  So while the smell of gunpowder  still lingers, let’s take a look at all the events and mishaps that occurred on the Hermitcraft Server this week. Starting with Stressmonster,  who steps back onto the server   after a long enough absence that her  Halloween build has skipped a couple  

Of major holidays – but is absolutely worth  continuing. So she terraforms, decorates,   and naturalizes a path up to it, including some  mushrooms that just will not behave themselves. STRESS: Oh no! What is going on?  [laughs] What? Why? Why would you grow that tall? 😂

>> The next stage, as per Hermitcraft tradition,  is to actually build the back of her house. But   in the meantime she has to reckon with  another Hermitcraft tradition – asking   how the heck the game has been broken this  hard, and why it’s moving in her direction.

STRESS: Why is there an Ender Dragon right  above False’s base? [confused laughter]  But my god, that is scary!  Why is it so close to my base? >> In his own turn to crunch Minecraft into  submission, Xisumavoid tells Chat GPT to   write him a macro for gold crafting. The logic here is simple, actually:  

Xisuma is still doing all the crafting  himself, as far as the game knows. But   in reality all the mouse movements are  performed automatically and only cost   him the effort of pressing a single button. This allows X to fill in his inventory with  

Golden nuggets from the piglin farm and to output  ingots at a rate just about fast enough that the   rest of them don’t despawn. Just about. Not quite. XISUMA: And then I made the classic  mistake of breaking too many chests,  

Including ones full of Zombie Piglin Heads. And eventually that kind of backfired as the rest   of the items just despawned, because they had been  sitting on the floor for more than five minutes. >> In this influx of gold on the  server, no wonder Cubfan pumps  

Some into his pyramid arena. With what  may be the fifth wave of final touches,   Cub gilds a not insignificant amount of  his battleground with the prized metal.  It is a worthy decoration for the upcoming finale  of the TCG tournament, which Cub advertises  

Directly in front of his battle triangle on a  glowing billboard that promises an epic battle   of XBcrafted against. someone. He didn’t know  the results of some duels when he built it. CUBFAN: But, one is- SCAR: Ohh-oh-ohh  CUBFAN: One is XB, the other  is either Etho, or Doc, so. 

SCAR: Okay, okay. CUBFAN: Yeah! You got- you’re the guy to talk to. You got popcorn and drinks, can you bring   some in for this uh- momentous occasion? SCAR: I will bring popcorn and drinks.   Slushies and popcorn, it sounds delicious. CUBFAN: Woop! Let’s go! That’s hype.

>> In a departure from all that, VintageBeef  follows the path of many an entrepreneur with   a successful startup business, and relocates to  a lakefront property in the woods. Beef leaves   the bright lights of the arena behind and,  taking inspiration from a Picklebuzz design,  

Sets up a country cabin for himself in a  distant spruce forest. It’s been a long   time since he built anything that wasn’t  map art, and he’s finally started to see   the bigger picture. Also, he needed  somewhere to put his trophy cabinet.

BEEF: Got some candles, and a shelf. With some  books. I might put some more books. For now,   we’re leaving it like that. [hushed] I think this   is where I’m putting my trophy. [normal] And then we’ve got a little plant here.

>> The twist ending, of course, is that  just like any good cabin in the woods,   there are some severed heads in storage. BEEF: A little spoiler, they were Etho’s  heads. That’s right, how did I get them? Well- BDUBS: C’mon!! [swords smacking] [xp chimes]  BDUBS: Etho!! [others laughing]  BDUBS: STOP! BEEF: Me? What?  

You’re really bad at this game- [snorts] ETHO: Yeah,   I… I dunno what’s going on. BEEF: It’s okay, buddy. It’s okay. >> XBCrafted also takes a break  from TCG to commune with nature   ahead of his final showdown. In a  totally unrelated spruce forest,  

He plans and executes on an aquarium for his  zoo area, which starts out looking like Marvin   the Martian’s eyes – but ends up as a pair of  tanks which separate the axolotls from the fish. XB: Oh, that’s looking cool! Like, I  was hoping it would look cool, but-  oh, well, hold on.

>> This gives him the opportunity  to diversify the decorations,   but it’s mostly so the axolotls don’t  end up clowning on all the clownfish. XB: They’re all just kind of chilling [laughs]  [pufferfish puffs up] XB: They’re- they’re all hiding, man. 

Uh, grew some grass, put a little bit of some  height difference in there, just kind of-  are you gonna get me? No? Okay. >> We’re surprised aquatic life hasn’t appeared  in the support pillars of Mumbo’s base,   considering they’re freshly  installed and made entirely  

Of water. At least it’s high enough  that it won’t be hemorrhaging squid,   although he might not mind that because  it’s his industrial district, after all. MUMBO: And occasionally I’ll talk about  the length of timelapses. Which is- which  

Is what I’m doing right now. That’s kind of a  fourth wall break. Is this a good time length?   I mean when… what’s the perfect ti- >> He’s briefly distracted by the appearance  of a giant copper pillar above his base,   and by whether he considers the entirety of  the server’s diamonds a ‘cool collectible’.

MUMBO: [laughs] That looks even  more stupid from down here.  Everybody knows that “real Minecrafters  age their copper as the statue of lib.” >> But he refocuses on the industrial  theme by setting up a switchboard of   farm ideas he plans to light up  one by one once they’re complete.

From one industrial district to another, Impulse  is turning dirt into clay – via a contraption   which converts it into mud and pushes it onto  a drying pad with dripstone dangling below.  Once it’s been fed up through the drying  floors, another set of pistons splits the  

Platform up and extrudes it into a pipe  which can be easily blasted with TNT.  Probably the most productive explosions  heard on the Hermitcraft Server this week. IMPULSE: I think that means it’s working! Uh- It’s  continuing to build the walls, there’s no redstone   that’s been exploded, no pistons out of place…

Guys. We did it. >> His main mistake was being  away from his base long enough   for PearlescentMoon to take her revenge. PEARL: And Gem, well… Gem’s  gonna be ripped along for the ride,   considering their bases are  pretty much linked together. >> Having discovered the addition  of Mario to the Piranha Plant,  

And deferring her cleaning lady role for  some prank opportunities, Pearl buys the   biggest pack of googly eyes she can find and  not only sticks them everywhere all at once,   but adds some adorable chibi cleaning ladies  to oversee her neighbours’ bases. Hopefully   the watchful stare will guilt them  into cleaning up their chest monsters.

PEARL: I quite like how this  has turned out. Maybe it’s a  little bit more subtle. Maybe he  won’t notice it straight away. IMPULSE: No! [laughs] GEM: Pearl! 😫 Pearl, what the heck? IMPULSE: Ohhh, no. I thought we were even. I thought- hmm. Mmm. Mm-hmm. Okay.

GEM: Ha, this one’s really  cute. It’s not gonna stay,   but I feel bad that I’m taking them down  already, so I am gonna leave the little   cute swinging Pearl and that’ll allow  me to take down this section. [giggles] IMPULSE: Pearl! Now I’ve got  a Gem and a Pearl. Come on. 

Hey look, My “i” brading is  still on Gem’s base. Nice. GEM: I think we’re gonna have to have a prank spring cleaning soon, because, uh- 😅 My base is startin’ to look a little weird. >> In the meantime, Pearl does have another kind  of cleanup to do – after careful consideration,  

She re-works her section of Decked Out into an  arid dripstone cave featuring a dusty old temple. PEARL: I know some people did like the old design,  and liked how it had a bit of a peaceful contrast   to everything else in the dungeon, but  I just wanted it to fit a little more.

>> So here’s something funny: TangoTek has  decided to give the Decked Out players a   map! But it won’t make navigating  the dungeon any easier, mind you,   because the map is actually of  a completely different area.  The piece of paper actually functions as an  on-screen display of the current run’s stats! 

Since maps display and update the area if  it is loaded, one can not just use them to   pixel art whatever information they want; but  also update it live using redstone! Any change   to terrain will be displayed on the map,  so by dispensing water on certain parts,  

The dungeon will communicate how many cards  you have left, how much Hazard you block,   how many treasures are in play, and all that! It’s quite clever, actually, even if it   requires Tango’s camera account to  keep that plot of the land loaded. 

And this F3 screen for his in-game  minigame is even helpful in testing of the   dungeon’s mechanics, as long as the  display’s redstone works of course.  Also a friend could come in while  you’re playing and draw you a picture. TANGO: I mean, realistically? Straight up,  

Is absolutely 100% feature creep. I absolutely positively should not   be doing what we’re gonna do! Actually, though,   if we’re really being honest? This feature  is gonna be a game changer. It’s gonna   pretty much completely change- It’s not  gonna completely change how Decked Out  

Is played, but it’s gonna change the  feedback? To be so, so much better. >> Back from being sick, iJevin  decides to help out the server and   take care of the community End portal. It’s a design he actually had in mind  

Last season but got outpaced by Welsknight  with his own take on the End portal room.  This time, however, the Stronghold doesn’t  stand a chance against Jev and he smashes   the place something fierce in favor of a scale  replica of the central End Island and its many  

Obsidian pillars. Just to make it abundantly  clear where it is you are about to teleport. JEVIN: Anyway, so Wels had like, already done the  room? Which was totally fine, you know. I never  

Claimed it, so he was more than okay to do that. I am uh, in love with this room. And it just-   I think it adds a lot to the  value of the server. Hopefully. >> Having now finished the  crowning castle of Jellieland,  

GoodTimesWithScar catches up with the changes  he did not make to the place. Specifically,   the varied and colorful visitors  ZombieCleo seems to have put around.   Through her armorstand ability all sorts  of folks have made it to the park, driving  

Scar into a happy fit, and allowing us to say the  line, “ZombieCleo has put a child in a wheelchair   and drove her servermate to tears,” which is  technically true, when you think about it. SCAR: Oh my gosh. It is- [wistful laugh] Ah man, I’m gonna cry. Like it, it’s uh- 

It’s a wheelchair. I can’t even figure  out how in the world Cleo made that? But that is so cute. I mean. [laughs] This just reminds me of going to   Disneyland with my mom and dad, like. Oh my gosh.

>> With the mass of his base finished, Scar stops by Grian’s place to make sure he’s finishing his. Grian was not. SCAR: This looks like anti-progress~! GRIAN: No- no no! It’s not! This isn’t- [nervous laugh] SCAR: Anti-progress!!  GRIAN: I can’t stay up all night doing this.  C-can I- can I do this tomorrow? I got- 

IMPULSE: Do we let him? Do we let him rain check? GRIAN: It’s late.  SCAR: Absolutely not. GEM: I- I think we’ve gotta-  SCAR: You never know if you’re  gonna wake up in the morning.  GRIAN: [startled laughter] GEM: Scar!! 

>> Despite the intervention from Scar, Gem and  Impulse, all convincing him that he can not keep   skipping the leg day of building, Grian maintains  that mirroring the cliffside is a process so   boring, he’d rather go look at an actual bore. Which they then do, Scar and Grian departing  

To check out Docm’s TNT digging  machine below the perimeter. GRIAN: Is that- See? This thing’s crazy! SCAR: Ohh look at this!  [many sculk noises] SCAR: Here, let’s make it run.  GRIAN: How do you- Do you know how? SCAR: Uh… I’m sure I can find a  

Button on here somewhere? GRIAN: Oh no, Scar. This   is the worst idea. If you break  this thing, Doc will kill you. >> In their absence, GeminiTay and Impulse  decide to apply more direct pressure to the   issue. Having counted out exactly the  amount of item entities in a day, they  

Build a machine over the floating mountain that  surely will blow it all up after a full 24 hours.  Impulse refuses to disarm it, unless  the base’s back is built by then. IMPULSE: Made sure you’ve had  a little extra motivation to   do so? In the form of TNT dropping down on the  

Front of your base? If you don’t get it done soon? GEM: Huge TNT.  GRIAN: [gasps] IMPULSE: 24 hours before TNT drops out of it.  GRIAN: 24-?! I’m busy! IMPULSE: Yeah, yeah. We’re giving you   an extra 24 hours. It’s already been- GRIAN: I was aging copper! 

IMPULSE: Okay, well, clock’s ticking! Uh, actually  as we speak, we’ve already- we’ve already started.  GRIAN: Okay, I’ll message you when  it’s done, but it’s really important   that I age this copper beforehand. GEM: That man has no priorities.

>> Of course, this being a redstone contraption,  it only really ticks when the area is loaded.   So the clear alternative here is to just  log off the server and never play again.  Which might be a good idea for Grian anyway,  since in the meantime he and Scar have gotten a  

Little too greedy with Docm’s diamond drill and  it exploded in a few places it shouldn’t have. [TNT sizzles] GRIAN: Oh, Scar! 😨  SCAR: [laughing] GRIAN: Scar! You turned it on!  [pistons move] [TNT explodes] SCAR: It’s goin’, Grian! Give it a go!

SCAR: Hit the- hit the note block. Yeah! Basically! This is free diamonds! [laughs]  [TNT explodes] GRIAN: [incomprehensible panicked yelling] GOODBYE! >> To his credit, Scar attempts to fix up the  ever booming apparatus, but his lack of a team of   redstoners telling him what to do really slowed  down the development. Grian, in the meantime,  

Just tried to bribe Doc’s fury away from himself,  missing entirely that he is placing diamond blocks   against the machine that makes diamond blocks. Scar tries to sweeten the deal with a few rare   TCG cards, but also starts packing  to flee the country just in case. GRIAN: Are you hiding in the bathroom? 😂 

Are you in the stalls? SCAR: You came through that   mirror like a horror movie. GRIAN: 🤣 >> Well at the very least the incident solidifies  Scar in what he wants to deem his most unique   collectible of the season – the blinking creeper  carved pumpkin he used to sneak up on people with.

GRIAN: Uh, he sees that we’ve tried.  The back. Doing our best. [laughs]  SCAR: Okay. GRIAN: I think that’s-   that’s when we leave. And we uh… SCAR: At that point, we’ve   done our best. GRIAN: We have done our best. 😅 >> And finally there’s Docm, and we mean finally,  

Because he might be the last thing several  folks on the server see before the anvil drops.  Grian and Scar try to butter Doc up  before they break the bad news to him,   but no amount of dressing is going to improve  the absolute salad they made of his redstone.  

Even the gift package they attempted as  a peace offering will only go so far. [sculk noises] GRIAN: Did I mention   that you’re handsome? DOCM: Oh my…  DOCM: How did this happen?! SCAR: No, no Doc, don’t murder-  GRIAN: We tried, we tried! We tried our best! DOCM: What the?! 

GRIAN: We tried to fix- DOCM: You blew up my tunnel bore?!  GRIAN: [nervous laughter] DOCM: This should be-  how can you even blow that up?! GRIAN: [hysterical] We keep going flying! Scar! DOCM: I don’t even- I don’t- SCAR: You said it needed coral to make it dupe and fly! GRIAN: [baffled sounds]

>> Doc is the first to remind us he  saw this coming, but you should be   concerned that he goes to do more work  on his anvil cannon to calm his nerves.  There’s a brief break for TCG, as Doc squares  off against Etho in the semi-final stages;

ETHO: I’m not afraid of you. BDUBS: [mocking voice] I’m not afraid of you, I tell you! [winning chimes] DOCM: That’s the worst! ETHO: […] sweet victory! >> By which time Grian and Scar’s videos are out,   so Doc gets to see the chaos unfold. And after  laughing at them, he decides to baffle Grian  

With more technology – demonstrating some compact  ‘update skipping’ exploits which let him reduce   Grian’s nether portal to a 1×1 wormhole. Although that was before the revelation   that Grian’s been skimming copper  from his perimeter for months,  

So there are now two reasons you should tune in  next week to see if Grian even has a base left. And that’s about it for this week’s Recap! Our writer is SloyXP and my name is Pixlriffs. Captions on this video were provided by Lyarrah.

Don’t forget to leave a like while you’re still here, and subscribe so you won’t miss future Recaps. Thanks for watching, and we’ll see you next week!