I Faked a Minecraft Speedrun

I have never been good at one single video game in my entire life try as I might I do not have the hand-eye coordination I do not have the composure and everybody that knows me knows this but what if I could trick them if I could hire a

Professional gamer to sit right next to me on a live stream just out of frame I could trick anyone into thinking I’m actually really good at video games now I know what you’re thinking oh great another video where Danny tries to trick his fans no in this video there is only

One person I am trying to trick three years ago I was betrayed and embarrassed by my so-called friend Curtis Connor in my free time I consider myself somewhat of an amateur magician I know several pretty neat card tricks that are very impressive at parties it’s something

That’s always meant a lot to me and coincidentally Curtis too but while Curtis’s magic phase ended when he was but a tween my continues to this day so I would sometimes tease him that he gave up on his dreams pretty funny right well Curtis didn’t think so to get back at me

Curtis made a 30 minute long video where he learned a bunch of card tricks that I don’t know so he could rub them in my face and ruin my life basically I laughed it off at the time but I was devastated and I have spent the past three years plotting my revenge a

Few months ago on Twitch Curtis was about to beat the final boss in a Minecraft world he had spent about a year and a half working on but just before he was about to beat the dragon he died Curtis was playing on Hardcore Mode which means if you die you can

Never play in that world again and you lose all of your hard work that hardcore World meant a lot to Curtis just like magic means a lot to me so when he sees me beat Minecraft on Hardcore Mode at a professional level speed while he

Couldn’t even do it after a year and a half he’s going to know what it feels like to have everything taken away from him and in the ultimate Poetic Justice it’s all just gonna be one big magic trick now here’s the issue I can’t just

Go live on YouTube one day and be like hey guys you know how last time anyone has ever seen me play Minecraft I was literally terrible at it I didn’t know what I was doing and I could barely win a one-on-one fight with a zombie well

Today I’m gonna beat the entire game in 10 minutes that wouldn’t work it would not be believable and my entire audience already thinks I’m up to no good anyway every time I post any picture on Instagram because I’ve done videos where I like trick my fans before all the

Comments are like something’s up here it’ll be like a just a picture of me running a half marathon and people are like nice try Danny we know what you’re up to and if Curtis sees any comments like that on my big Speed Run live stream that would obviously not be good

So what I have to do is plan a series of live streams where I pretend to be practicing speedrunning Minecraft and that way it plants in people’s heads okay he is practicing he’s probably getting better even though I probably won’t actually be getting better because because that’s not how my brain works

And then when they see me do that big fake Speed Run live stream there’ll be none the wiser so that’s what I’m preparing to do right now I’m gonna get on live stream and I’m gonna try to speedrun Minecraft for the first time and this should give you a good idea of

How bad I actually am at game okay this should give you enough evidence that this is not gonna happen naturally I’m not just gonna um I know I said naturally I’m gonna need to take steroids to speedrun Minecraft welcome welcome everybody thank you for joining today today’s a

Very special day because I’m going to try to Speed Run Minecraft the goal of a Minecraft speed run is to kill the Ender Dragon the fastest anyone has ever done this is 7 minutes and 45 seconds the fastest I have ever done this is two months in order to get to the Ender

Dragon there are a series of steps you must complete this is a general list of the steps required it includes fun things like building a portal how to make nether portal reversing the nether to find resources the farthest I made it during this stream was this step but I usually ended

Up right about here oh okay real funny dude can you point in the right place please just point at the screen no no I just finished my first practice stream and I think it went pretty well honestly I played through a couple different worlds and I died I’ve

Seen people do this oh what the [ __ ] quite a few times I died and it was actually genuinely disappointing every time I did dude despite being a giant hit to my ego the fact that I played so bad during this stream was actually good for a couple

Reasons first the entire stream was very believable and as of right now nobody suspects a thing and second I need to find a Minecraft speedrunning pro I was planning on just tweeting something after this stream looking for somebody to help me but apparently I did so bad

During this stream that like moths to a flame the very next day the speedrunner had come to me shortly after the stream ended last night I got this tweet it’s from this dude named Anthony hey Danny saw you speed running Minecraft tonight would love to help you improve your

Speed runs I’m a former world record holder and have beaten Minecraft the most times ever Anthony AKA Curry way is the real deal he’s held several world record speed runs and has tons of videos on his YouTube channel breaking down various speedrunning techniques if anyone was going to be able to speedrun

Minecraft for me it was this guy so hopefully I can just DM this dude and ask like hey so how badly do you want to help me speedrun my and crap because I have a pretty easy way for you to do it I’m worried that as a member of the

Minecraft speedrunning Community he might not like this idea like maybe this is making a mockery of of speedrunning or something I don’t know I don’t really think it is because it’s not like I’m trying to pass off my speed run as like an actual world record but I I there is

A little bit of me that’s worried in the back of my head that I’m going to DM this dude and he’s just gonna like reply to this tweet and be like oh never mind guys he’s just faking and I’m not helping you so do I want to DM him Yes I do so I started crafting a DM to tell him everything and invite him to my house to play Minecraft with him wait should I ask him where he lives then I kind of decided that I was coming off a little bit too strong asking a stranger

To come to my house to help me commit fraud and I should probably just get to know this guy a little bit better first you know what Jesus I just put so much thought into this so I deleted all that and decided instead to invite him on

Stream to teach me how to speed around Minecraft okay yeah this is good we’ll start off friendly getting to know each other a little bit and then once we’re friends then I can do the big reveal and be like hey so actually we’re gonna break the law together you want to

Commit fraud with me Anthony so on my next quote-unquote practice stream I got Curry way to come on and give me some tips on how to pull off a successful speed run it was awesome I learned some stuff I cracked some jokes so the shape you want to look for is this L

Um it’s three blocks yeah he even showed me a practice map where I could just practice killing the dragon over and over and let me tell you dude I was doing it I killed that Dragon I was going crazy on the dragon man I was actually going kind of epic gamer

Style on the dragon the second practice stream went even better than the first everybody’s still on board nobody thinks I’m faking this everything is going extremely according to plan except that it might actually be going too well yeah I’ve uh I’ve run into a bit of a

Wall here and that’s that um I’m putting in so much practice to do this and I actually kind of feel like I’m getting good at it and it kind of seems like I might actually be able to just do it and not fake it I know I talked a really big

Game earlier about being bad at video games and I really am I’m not good at games but I don’t know after practicing for like I guess the four and a half hours total that I have so far I can actually see a path to me being able to

Do this on my own and I’ve gotten like way more confident with parts of the game that I did not think I would last night killing the dragon like multiple times was a big moment for me even though they are like pretend practices that I was doing on stream I was not

Pretending to be excited I was genuinely excited I’m still again not sure if I will be able to and it is kind of scary filming this part knowing that I could still fail and then I’ll have to like still keep this part in the video but

Then just go back to plan A and fake it and feel like even more of a failure than I did at the start of this video but [ __ ] that man I I got this time to practice so for the next 30 days I practice speedrunning Minecraft every

Single day I practiced alone I practiced on stream I practiced on a plane and in a hotel and sure I died a lot but all that dying and grinding was worth it because wait why doesn’t it look like I’m getting any better why am I still

Dying so much holy [ __ ] did I not get any better the problem with speed running is that when you’re not fast you are slow and so when you die instead of wasting like five minutes you’ve wasted an hour you’ve wasted an hour of your time carefully navigating the Nether and

All other aspects of the Minecraft world and you’re doing a really great job and you’re having fun and you think you’re gonna do it and then you mine one wrong block and you get killed by lava and then you die and you’ve wasted an hour

Of your life trying to beat a game made for children and you didn’t even do a very good job it would be one thing if I was already really fast with it so it only took like 10 minutes total the speed run Minecraft but I spend 45

Minutes an hour an hour and a half and then I die where is the man who invented Minecraft do you ever wonder why we don’t see him out in public ever is it because he’s ashamed of what he’s created or is he hiding hiding from people like me like

I [ __ ] up guys well gang I was wrong I actually cannot speedrun Minecraft no matter how much time I dedicate to it or how much coaching I have from a literal professional I am in-app the worst part is Curtis is gonna see this part of the video Curtis if you’re watching this

Skip ahead dude all right don’t watch this part move it along Buster and nothing to see here so I have two options with what I could do now I could either a stop making this video and pretend like it never happened hope people forget that I was ever trying to

Speedrun Minecraft and deny it if they ever ask you’re crazy I never tried to speedrun Minecraft and then option number two I could just try to do the fake speed run now which is what I’m going to do but that means now I have to

Send a DM to Curry way and ask him if he’ll do this for me which I actually am pretty worried that he’s not gonna want to because as someone who does this like professionally as his job is he Gonna Wanna like help somebody fake it I mean

He seems like a nice enough guy though I think at the very least he would understand I’m just trying to do a little goof right the guy understands jokes right I guess we’ll see okay I’m gonna draft my message please ignore the fact that he’s been giving me advice all

This time really good advice that I’ve been trying to follow and still still gonna do it I guess I have to sort of admit that I I was deceiving him earlier and that when I did my first stream with him I actually didn’t intend on ever speed running Minecraft okay all

Right okay what can I say what can I say what’s up dude that’s a good start no that’s that’s too cliche um hey dude oink and I’m just gonna close Twitter and hope and pray that he receives this well we’ll see what he says okay guys he responded I haven’t opened the message

Yet but from the preview of the message it looks like he’s down because I can see it says in the preview of the message it says I’m a hundred percent down so let’s go dude let me open up the message dude that sounds crazy it does cause I’m [ __ ] crap I’m [ __ ]

Insane I’m 100 down happy to film some stuff on my end as well for you when were you thinking yes dude let’s go the plan is a go I will respond in a calm way so as to not frighten him yes pretty coordinated plans I booked

This flight and now the only thing left to do is wait for the big day and the best part is now I don’t even have to practice I can just go back to doing all the fun things that I used to do before I ever started this video like like this

Oh man that looks fun okay it’s time all right with just two hours before the big stream there was still a lot of preparation that needed to be done we planned on streaming for about two hours the first hour I would be controlling the game and when I was ready to be done

I would say the code word dang nabbin which would be our cue for me to secretly turn off my mouse and keyboard so Curry way could take control one of the big challenges during practice was remembering that I was supposed to look like I was controlling the game

I think just sit like that for the stream yeah I have this new street but by far the most difficult thing that we had to get perfect was making Curry way a professional Minecraft speedrunner play like somebody who does not know how to speedrun Minecraft now if you see a

Ship you have to make it very clear with where you’re looking that you see a ship because I see okay yeah I had no idea as we were practicing he kept doing things that I would never in a million years be able to do uh for the record I would not have done

That you wouldn’t have shot back to the gas I probably would have tried to hide in some kind of hole so for about an hour Curry way just watched me play and took notes on all of the things I do wrong so that he could also do those

Things wrong I have never experienced pressure quite like a professional speedrunner watching me try to speedrun would you actually break those blocks like that yeah okay what if like playing like me makes you suck so bad that you’re never the same Minecraft player again you know what

It’s the risks we’re willing to take for content practice not reacting like that chat just hears from off screen oh sorry guys there’s a ghost in my house it would be so embarrassing to do this live and for something to [ __ ] up horribly I’d probably just end the

Stream oh God yeah knock on wood right now okay pretend like I’m not okay the person go live maybe it’s only obvious to me because I know how I was feeling in this moment but my voice was so shaky and nervous for the entire stream all right everybody what’s going

On Welcome to the stream this is actually kind of embarrassing to watch back how nervous I was um I’ve been doing a lot of practicing off stream honestly it’s been like a lot easier which is why I haven’t streamed in a while because it’s really hard to uh I

Kept losing my train of thought and pausing to breathe a lot of the time I maybe it was because I was worried about failing in front of thousands of people or maybe it was because I could feel Curry way judging me from across the room every time I [ __ ] up but aside

From that the first half of the stream went off without a hitch and before I knew it it was time to make the switch foreign and after resetting the world a few times he found the perfect sea oh dude we got a monument in the distance right there you

Guys see that oh that’s a good looking boat baby boy oh yes and for about 15 minutes things were going great until in the nether Curry way realized he made a crucial error which I heard and immediately began to panic oh [ __ ] hell dude do I don’t know where the portal is in

Order to continue with the speed run it is imperative that we find the Portal but the nether is basically a maze and neither of us seem to have any clue where it was oh wait he found it oh okay yes dude no [ __ ] way ah okay and after a few

Short minutes of navigation I was in the stronghold I was in the portal and I was ready to fight the dragon at this point I was all nerves I hadn’t read the chat in like 10 minutes I didn’t even know if people were buying this but I just thought about Curtis’s

Face watching this and I knew it was time to finish this and also Curry way knew it was time to finish this I cannot explain with words what happened in this moment it’s like even though I knew in my brain I wasn’t in control in my heart I was placing those

Beds and as the dragon’s Health got lower and lower I felt like I was the one doing the only way I can describe it is like when a parent is driving the car and they give their baby a fake steering wheel but the baby still feels like

They’re driving the car I’m the baby I’m not good at video games and I probably never will be but for a few seconds I got to find out what it feels like Dude Had given me a speed run with a final time that if it were real would have put me at 37 in the entire world with not one comment about it being fake [Applause] beautiful Curtis Danny you’re probably wondering why I’ve asked you here today yes I I am you told

Me not to even ask you what this was about yes I did didn’t I you’re being kind of actually kind of being a little mean about this whole thing but not me okay I guess you weren’t yeah I guess I’m wrong playfully assertive I would

Say sure I’ll go with that too so do you have any idea what this might be about I mean I feel like the last time this happened I was I was surprising you with magic tricks like the last time we had a surprise Zoom okay that’s an interesting guess you [ __ ]

Well really I just wanted to do this because I had one um question for you how’s your hardcore world going in Minecraft uh um just kind of curious I know it meant a lot to you and I just was wondering like how’s it going okay so you are being me

Oh you’re being an [ __ ] by doing that you don’t you really don’t know it would be helpful for you to say just for the for the viewers I played Minecraft hardcore for [ __ ] months and I tried to beat it and the first time I got to

The dragon I died oh yeah that’s right that’s what happened now I remember okay wait so you spent like a year and a half on that world and you didn’t even you you didn’t beat the Ender Dragon the game isn’t about that I try to beat

It and the first time I got to the dragon I died it’s just kind of crazy because I don’t know if you saw but a couple days ago I started a Minecraft hardcore world and I baited in 30 minutes impossible did you see that at all I might have seen that I

Don’t know if that was I don’t know if that was you doing that okay first off mean okay you do know I’m like really bad at video games right and I did it in 30 minutes okay I don’t know what I don’t know what this is about man

You don’t know what this is about no don’t be so cool like do you remember that I texted you the night that you died in your hardcore world I do remember that I forget what you said but oh wait were you were you were watching right yes I was watching that

Night I texted you and I want to uh I want you to look back at the conversation I have a screenshot of it so I’ll send it to you so go ahead and read that to the audience I have to go get something real quick but just read

That to the uh to the camera uh okay so Danny says no and then I say I’m gonna kill myself Danny says I looked away for half a second and looked back and you were dead that [ __ ] sucks dude and then I said man I hate that [ __ ] game

And then Danny said hey man it’s all good I don’t think anyone saw I think everyone else was looking away too and I said okay thank God at least I get to play a different game now and then Danny said oh nice you’re just gonna give up give up on your dreams Curtis

Now I actually am going to kill myself don’t act like you didn’t know this was coming oh no don’t act like you could just get away with was I shirtless under the under this I don’t think I was are you wearing pants even not important damn it so

Curtis let me remind you of something stop sitting like that okay sorry you’re right three years ago you posted a video basically humiliating me in front of millions of people you took one of my greatest passions magic and you turned it against me well that sort of ruined my sort of

Villain-esque uh demeanor oh yeah pretend I didn’t say that what was my catchphrase again magic was something that we really bonded over I feel and you took it and you turned it against me so Curtis do you know what I did you beat you you beat you hired I think you

Hired someone to train you to be really good at Minecraft and you beat it in a half hour no okay Curtis I did a little bit of sleight of hand myself was I right it wasn’t even you Know because I did not speed run Minecraft I hired a former world record holding speedrunner to come to my house you had them come to your house and I had him Speed Run Minecraft for me I can’t believe this so this this was all for the magic tricks that I did which you

Started by the way I only did that because you you were making fun of me saying that I gave up on my dream I don’t know I’ve at the end of the day I’d pretty much consider us even now well what if I told you I was under the desk

Under his desk the whole time I guess I don’t know what I would think about that I’d just be confused I guess gotcha all right Dan I think we’re even is that your is that the Hat behind you that you yeah it looks like I’m wearing it right

Now kind of maybe the best way to end this is just by saying hey we’re both pretty good magicians it’s not a competition maybe we both crossed a few lines but at the end of the day there’s room for two magician magicians all right I’ll uh I

Tip my cat I tip my cap to you as well a sign of respect amongst magicians Throughout this video I’ve learned a ton about speedrunning Minecraft and how hard it is and how impressive that people like Curry way can actually do it and I have a huge respect for the speedrunning community I would definitely recommend you check it out if that’s something you think you’d be

Interested in Korea has a ton of videos explaining different speed running techniques and analyzing different world record speed runs so go check him out and thank him for participating in this video that was super cool of him also if you want to get any of these cool tactical merch designs I’ve been wearing

Throughout the video they are available at dannygonzalez dot store some of my favorite merch designs that I’ve ever done hope you guys enjoyed this video If you’re not subscribed yet make sure you subscribe and turn on my notifications to join Greg go ahead and watch another

One of my videos right here and I’ll see you guys next time