Schlatt’s CHRISTIAN Minecraft Server

Up everybody hey asterisist 666 don’t say don’t say that like I could say it on the podium Ash resistance I don’t think you want to do that God oh my God oh my God it’s gonna be okay man whoa It’s So religious out here it’s

Like we all saw the error of our ways collectively and decided to become a Christian server this is a Christian server now gather here gather here we have a sermon go ahead get in here I’m a little nervous come on it’s perfectly fine come on in man accept

Everybody in in the Church of Satan the Church of what uh the Church Catholic Church in the cat we accept everybody in the Catholic church so let’s start with the um satanic uh Temple uh seven fundamental ten the Catholic uh the seven fundamental tenets of Catholicism okay

You want to read the first one Mika oh yeah sure um um okay um I am a sinner who’s probably gonna sin again join together everyone hello understand sometimes I don’t know what that is forgive me forgive me hey everybody Welcome to the Goon SMP it’s me gooner You pull me into a Catholic church and you say it’s time for Catholic medicine you start singing what is that who is that samfla I am a sinner what is that probably got a sin again is that what is this at the very best that is that is

Protestant maybe Lutheran I would argue it’s Pentecostal let me show you how real masses is done boys get back in here is this thing oh geez are girls real where’s the clitoris can you guys you gotta let him do his man have you met God settle down settle down

The Lord be with you amen you have to say and with your spirit and with your spirit with your spirit do you have a stroke and we’re gonna do the Nike and Creed now okay the Father Almighty maker of heaven and Earth of all things visible and invisible

I believe in one Lord Jesus Christ the only begotten son of God father before all ages God from God light from light true God from true God begotten not made consubstantial with the father that’s right we say consubstantial now for us manage for our Salvation he came down

And I thought Drake was the one the Holy Spirit was incarnate of the Virgin man just a quick objection sorry I don’t mean to interrupt um pan and I were talking and we thought Drake was the one true God no no he’s he’s the goat we’re talking about it yeah oh yeah okay

That’s a distinction my bad continue continue with this beautiful speech man he suffered death and was buried and rose again on the third day in accordance with the scriptures he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the father he will come again in glory to Lord [ __ ]

Is he okay whoa [ __ ] do we need to like talk to him yeah maybe we could talk it out oh nice cross on here though where did he go oh geez oh that’s better what is that his name is disgusting hey guys I’m back I’m back hey what were you doing in

There what are you doing in there nothing faster I was saying my prayers um I just can’t help but notice the uh the imagery in here when did you guys become so holy huh I know all about you I know a lot about you specifically are doing this holy shtick I know it’s

I’m ashamed to change it doesn’t mean anything it’s just for show it’s aesthetic this dude changes Minecraft username for that I hope someone takes your [ __ ] username again so you’re gonna be Astros is 666 your old life and then I hope you really come to God later in your life and you

Realize how [ __ ] up that is you’ll never be able to take that back man perhaps permanent record that’s Edward Snowden permanent record he will be going to hell asteroid don’t know what to say totally going to hell I mean really that’s I’m going back to the Soviet Union oh and he’s a couple

Places you don’t understand you know hell’s actually better than that there’s a there’s some new samha maybe maybe that’ll cheer him up yeah you know go over there playing some samfa will God favor me for doing this task sir uh no because you have a four on your chest

And uh there’s only three in the Holy Trinity so you’re going to hell too I think they need God I I truly do believe they need God they need God and then capitalism in that order I mean once you stay hey what’s up hey man

All right we were trying to do a bit over there and I I’ve given up so I’m coming over here here’s some Flags I’m back in sweet oh my God what is this building what the [ __ ] this is oh man good Mark oh does he sell anything I don’t know he’s got two

Things up on one thing up on the Shelf he says he sells fish wow wow yummy I think we should burn this place down I agree why Amanda you are you not a fan of capitalism and supporting small people I I love capitalism but you have to admit this is one

Ugly building yeah that’s that’s ugly as [ __ ] I’m not gonna lie that’s totally ugly capitalism there’s parameters so things like this don’t happen uh what what do you mean well you know we’re gonna we should put things in place so an ugly building like this doesn’t happen oh so you want regulation

Panda oh my God he’s fan he’s a fan of Regulation and I didn’t know you were so Progressive this building is hideous you guys should agree with me listen Panda I I think some things are hideous too and shouldn’t exist what does that mean but

That doesn’t mean I’m going on a on a crusade for government regulation am I calling for fundamental do I watch your body it’s disgusting Panda if you like regulation man we at the Soviet Union got a lot of that God oh my God oh my God it’s not what it looks like

I’m not Vandal welcome to the team baby shooting Hillary Clinton globules at us that’s right I got I got the glove box hey Mr tungsten all we’ll make quick work of you commies you call me listen Panda all we need to do is unionize right we just need to collectively we

Need to make our labor into a collective Force sign a Collective Agreement oh my God yep yeah they just have a lot more money than us kill us whenever they want that’s the main problem uh actually sir I would like to be subservient to capitalism for the rest of my life that’s right

What about all the [ __ ] you said I don’t want to get drone strikes what’s up toasting accepting new employees I love Capital Mr toshin says okay Phil the Shelf is with fish okay I love my job oh wow nice look how much Surplus there is yep a planned economy would never solve that

No and you know what I think we should get Mr Gorbachev down here to look at this beautiful Supermarket I think that would solve everything I think it changes minds and we could be like Mr Gorbachev this is every supermarket in this country we have what is going on

Out there hey oh it’s just that [ __ ] commies again oh Jesus right I just got I just got striked by lightning I don’t know if you guys saw that yeah maybe it’s God trying to teach you a lesson huh serves you right serves you right you know for equal things is wrong then

God’s strike me down right now God strike me down right now I don’t know what you’re what are you what are you hoping for okay God you know what’s crazy is uh this whole time I’ve been saying you know strike me down right now if I’m

Wrong you know drone strike me frame me for embezzlement you know that happened so what does that mean I think it means god is on my side what’s going on at the Family Mart down here oh yeah I haven’t been there in a while oh Jesus I’ve got some

Graffiti oh my God this is for destroying my goon Town gooner what go oh my God who would do such a thing flat what you’re not gonna believe this what happened someone came in here and put up and put a bunch of crosses in your

Family Mart I know oh I know are there are there supposed to be like people buried here because I mean you totally could have just like thrown them in the freezers the freezers are right there on the right side that’s a good point the family Mark it’s gonna take so long to

Clean dude yes we’re just gonna take forever to clean it really sucks they made such a mess honestly the crosses were so uncalled it’s like ever to clean them in I think we just give up because such creeping is just oh geez we should make a new server

I think here’s what we should do we should invite other YouTubers to this and they can stream on it and like play on it oh can we get Markiplier yeah probably you know what I think we should do next what what I think we should sell

Plots of land oh we create like plots of private property that they can buy for like real money to be on the SMP oh real money and think about it this way people are gonna want Prime real estate in the Goon town so that’s gonna drive up the

Prices and then I’m not even done dude and then we put in a 20 Home Owner’s tax yes we should we should commodified on the blockchain so every block in the game is worth money on the blockchain you can’t fudge them yes perfect non-fungible oh dude

We’re having such a jam right now dude what if what if it was just a patreon tier and then you got access for a thousand dollars a month I like that five grand five grand I like that oh God what did toast and just do

Wait okay it was a prisoner yeah that is a prisoner he totally might be a prisoner I think we should bring him with us to go visit that gigantic cross that was on the map let’s go guys yay an adventure oh I think toasten wants to

Get oh geez he needs a baseline test yeah we’re not doing that yep well there it is guys wow wow Ikea I actually went to Ikea today what’d you get yeah I got a dresser oh nice was it was its name toston you guys don’t want to know where you spawned oh

I’ve got it I’ve got it no uh it is such a charitable Endeavor to support the recently incarcerated [Laughter] what the [ __ ] what oh my God okay okay okay okay okay hey everybody I I’m gonna go back to the church and continue my mess how about that I

Continue my mess back in the church back in the church please The mystery of faith when we eat this bread and drink this cup I’m sorry sorry we Proclaim your death oh Lord until you come again yeah hey turn off your phone dude get a pool get a pool with an ocean view Our Father who art in heaven Hallowed be thy name

Thy kingdom come that you guys don’t know this you don’t know this one can we have to lie I think we have the on Earth the pamphlets are behind the Pew in front of you just to stay our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us

No I don’t you have an ice cream sandwich no no I don’t look at it don’t stop I don’t have it give me the ice cream sandwich that’s good nope I’m the priest it’s mine you have to you have to share I don’t want to [ __ ] don’t make me tell Jesus don’t make

Me tell Jesus What are you gonna do about it huh and me from the church oh my freaking God that is really disrespectful Ash resist dude like we are literally in the house of God right now dude I’m sorry ice cream sandwich it’s my bed um schlatt is it okay if I come up to

Say a couple things I’m just feeling really moved by the body of Christ right now why that’s so bad she like that Hail Mary [ __ ] mother of sorry don’t be a fool get a pool uh can I ask I’ve I’ve always wondered like is that stuff coming out of the bottom of

Your head your the bottom of your head is that like a a beard yeah like why are there four dots oh it’s it’s a beard it’s a beard it’s just like a really strange way for a beard to grow he must lack testosterone it’s kind of if you go to

Youtube.com and you search up the video needles by Tom Scott this skin is modeled off of that video directly I can actually recite that video word for word without even needing it up Dean is that wait What I felt the room with tiny razor sharp needles he did the washing up That’s a good thing hey he’s doing the way I like it well how do you like it it’s the King James version no this was not okay that’s right that’s where I put a pause on that the King James version of the Bible is Protestant [ __ ] drivel okay if you’re not listening or

Reading or studying sorry the n-a-b revised Edition Or the nrsb c e is that like the new Nissan no [ __ ] this I quit what I quit I’m done with the Goon SMP I’m done with it what no no I’m gonna come back it’s not the Goon recipe anymore man it’s Christ SMP just gonna play Minecraft man I’m going out

I’m going into this [ __ ] oh don’t go into the place okay that’s right I I just I heard the voice of Christ in my ears what did it say so pretty much uh I heard Jesus and he said uh yeah it’s mad how it gets so deep

It’s Matt how I get so hot it’s mad how you get me bye please close the door one doesn’t own my food stock spread it on my seats we’re done here okay we’re done here oh sick infinity pool don’t be able to get a pool at a pool guys I’m feeling really inspired

I’m gonna build a pool hey Mika hey dude do you want to help me build my my pool for Jesus mind if I vomit in your pool for Jesus for Jesus I did it guys I built My ultimate creation dive in for Jesus are you okay man Mika helps slide it off

Guys this is too silly we’re having too much fun I love fun though come on schlatt you’re forgetting something oh what am I forgetting Minecraft man we still haven’t beaten the dragon the dragon that’s what the viewers want I get my nuts across your face oh my God

Yeah that’s right that’s right that’s right I’m not taking it seriously man my nuts across your face this is just one big joke to you yeah you like tapes and CDs why so I could take my nuts oh my gosh you could see these nuts or something I

Don’t know yo slat do you like fantasy stuff no oh Wendy’s do you like fantasy stuff no not really Panda do you like fantasy stuff yeah I guess I do do you know about the Mind Goblin who’s that I can’t do it I’m sorry someone else has

Got it blind Goblin the Mind Goblin Goblin who’s that I don’t get it you have to say it Mika I don’t mind the goblin dude mind Goblin these oh LOL we talk about schles yeah you have been lulling a lot like right now I’ve lulled once today LOL

Yeah you just did it you guys are crazy I don’t I don’t we’re trying to have a serious video and you’re like oh Rafael lamel I think we need to prep for the Ender Dragon okay I think we could oh God he’s doing the thing again he’s such a baby man get up

I don’t want to kill the other Dragon it would work I have I have a command for a 32k sword careful is it what is it powerful it’s a 32k sword oh no Mr toson’s got one oh Jesus Christ that’s a wild card I don’t know we didn’t prepare for that one

Oh oh my God why does he always kill me yeah Toast and hates Mika I love it all right well I guess we’ll do some off-screen Mining and then we’ll come back it will kill the Ender Dragon the boobies everyone has to be in the room before I say it yeah like it would be awesome if Mr toston like stopped killing me

Mika can you stay alive for a second really interesting how like I keep dying okay I’m about to sit but oh wow that was unfortunate so awesome I really like this dude Baba boom [Laughter] okay that was a sick one on your marks okay can you give me one of those swords flat yeah thanks [Laughter] Foreign