The Weekly Thing – The New Minecraft World Record is HILARIOUSLY FAKE

Faked minecraft speedruns are a phenomenon that have been going around the internet for a while now while a lot of the fake minecraft speedruns you’ll see are just made up for the enjoyment of the viewer there’s been multiple times where someone has tried to claim the real world record despite a

Blatantly fake run this is one of those times and it might be the funniest one i’ve seen because this person just had no idea what they were doing but before we look at this run i just want to warn everyone watching do not do this don’t fake minecraft speedruns for attention it

Makes you look like an idiot and it’s an inconvenience for everyone who takes this seriously that being said we can all take some time to appreciate just how hilariously bad this new faked world record is let’s get into it you could probably find this run on

Youtube if you wanted to but to not give the runner any more attention than necessary i’m just going to call him big tony so the video starts with big tony in the middle of checking a seed the text in the upper left shows that they’re using optifine a banned mod in

Minecraft speedrunning meaning from the very first second of the video the run is unverifiable so nice try i guess they’ve also forgotten to run their timer and are thoroughly checking a swamp and a birch forest to see if there’s anything useful instead of checking the desert and plains

That’s what i call reset efficiency they leave the world and go back to the menu screen where we see that they are for some reason using forge i honestly have no clue why they thought it would be but this is also not allowed obviously so again the following run is

Completely unverifiable anyway now it’s time to load up a new seed i want you to look closely at the middle of the screen as the world loads After their cursor miraculously teleports in the middle of loading the world something that’s definitely not the easiest place to splice to set seedrun and the easiest way to get caught big tony spawns into the world and immediately turns left before pausing this incredibly common move allows them to instantly spot a

Blacksmith and go their first thing boy i hope they get a good chest oh 12 obsidian and 5 iron that’s crazy they’ve got a free nether portal and enough iron to skip killing the golem and craft an iron pickaxe and flint and steel the iron pickaxe will be necessary

To loot the bastion later in the run and the flint steal is to light the portal this is what literally every good speedrunner would do when they get this much iron and obsidian so naturally big tony makes an iron axe and an iron hoe because after mining a grand total of four hay

Bales with blinding speed thanks to their trusty hoe big tony who now does not have the iron they need for the rest of the run spots a second blacksmith oh my god crafting the hope paid off big tony must have very good instincts because they did not hesitate a second

Before wasting all their iron in hopes of just finding more and the moment of truth duh there’s seven iron in the second blacksmith yay now all big tony’s got to do is build their nether portal get a piece of flint and enter the nether but wait what’s that over the horizon

A ruined portal and there’s no crying obsidian and there’s already a flint and steel and there’s a looting two sword if you didn’t know a looting sword increases mob drop rates and is incredibly rare it speeds a run up from anywhere from 30 seconds to multiple minutes in the nether fortress and the

Current second place speedrun in 1.16 rsg finds a looting sword in a ruined portal chest so not only is this run spliced and on a set seed but they made sure to use a looting sword as well now the nether is where it’s the most clear that big tony just does not

Understand minecraft speedrunning at all during real runs you’ll see runners changing their settings pretty often in the nether changing their render distance and field of view to locate bastions maybe shortening their render distance to hang an ender pearl frequently changing their render distance to find the direction of the

Nearest nether fortress or changing their difficulty in the bastion to manipulate piglen ai big tony watched them do all that didn’t understand what they were doing and instead of learning it decided to just fiddle around in the menu screen completely randomly and and and just hope no one noticed so this

Is the big tony nether speedrunning playbook first there’s the all-important step of increasing your render distance from 13 to 17. this is vital you’re going to want to wait a while and then change your difficulty to easy next you got to set your render distance back

Down to 15. i mean 14. what are you doing on 15 are you crazy everyone knows it’s 14. then despite not actually e-raying which is the strategy speedrunners use to find the direction of the bastion you’re going to want to run straight to the bastion

And there it is big tony’s going to spot the nether fortress behind them and just not react at all but they definitely saw it because they go straight to it when leaving the bastion okay now that you’re in the bastion you’ve got some more changes to make and these are very

Important render distance down to 10 chunks any more than 10 let’s be honest you’re shooting yourself in the foot and finally big tony pulls out their secret weapon by changing by changing to fancy graphics yes yeah i mean why even knowing absolutely nothing about speedrunning which they clearly don’t

Why would fancy graphics help specifically in the bastion credit where credit is due big tony actually learned the bastion route for the most part although it takes them 10 seconds to craft a gold helmet and pickaxe they do what could pass to most people as the ninja brain treasure route but there are

A few mistakes that make it clear that they don’t really know the route they’re just hastily copying it from a run they watched first of all it’s been pretty common knowledge among runners for a while now that breaking this block on the way of the staircase keeps piglens

From getting stuck meaning you’ll be able to trade with more piglens at once making the bastion faster big tony probably saw the runner do that thought they were just grabbing an extra block and assumed there was no reason to do it they’re pretty sloppy on the setup of

The route here but whatever everyone makes mistakes right like wasting valuable obsidian just placing it on a block that doesn’t need to be filled and doesn’t affect anything but probably was filled in the run they watched and they assumed it was important the next tell as if we needed any more evidence they

Were cheating is that despite having given the piglens nine and a half gold blocks big tony goes to the other side of treasure to get more gold any experienced speedrunner would go down to check the trades at this point at most getting the one gold block in

The adjacent lower room now again credit where credit is due big tony didn’t increase their drop rates they have to wait for all the gold to trade before they have enough ender pearls funny thing about this is they could have had a much faster bastion and actually made

Their run more believable skipping the extra gold blocks would have shown more experience and getting better pearl drop rates wouldn’t have been unbelievable at all not that this run is redeemable in any way at this point but i just find that funny as they leave the bastion you

Can see that big tony has no planar fog meaning they can clearly see everything in their render distance which isn’t true in vanilla this is a feature of optifine which is precisely one of the reasons why optifine isn’t allowed now the obvious move here is to pearl straight to the fortress even though

It’ll probably take two enderpearls but because they only have 15 big tony smartly decides to purl up where i’m sure they’ll boat onto the fortress to save an ender pearl and oh nope that’s so just a much slower version of getting to the exact same place cool because

They haven’t used fire resistance they have to run away from the blazes i guess but thankfully big tony puts their boat in between them and the blazes that’ll stop them again to pick tony’s credit they didn’t increase the drop rates here either getting slightly below average raw drops but another thing that

Emphasizes the fact that big tony doesn’t actually know what they’re doing is the wither skeletons there’s a method speedrunners use to kill wither skeletons relatively quickly by knocking them off of the fortress and big tony has clearly seen that before but just doesn’t know how to do it so for every

Single wither skeleton they encounter big tony towers up and crits them to death which means they actually end up spending more time fighting wither skeletons than blazes in the fortress another example where they could have gone so much faster without raising any additional suspicion and yeah again

Irredeemable run and all that but it’s just kind of sad so with eight blaze rods it’s time to blind travel back to the overworld at this point the runner should go about 200 blocks away from zero zero and build their nether portal but again big tony just does not understand the

Significance of the f3 screen they check their coordinates once as they’re leaving the fortress then decide they’ll just eyeball it from there there’s literally no reason not to have f3 up just so you can be sure you’re blind traveling at a good spot but they they they just don’t after grabbing two completely

Unnecessary logs big tony has a harrowing encounter with a hogland narrowly escaping to the safety of a three block tower 15 blocks away they then decide to head in the other direction before awkwardly turning back towards the place they were heading to before almost as if instead of randomly

Choosing a spot to blind travel they have a certain desire to go to a specific spot after arriving at this completely arbitrary spot without checking their coordinates big tony decides to build the portal light it and lean out over the edge of the portal in a very specific way you’ll see this a

Lot in set-seed runs where runners have to be at an extremely precise orientation and set of coordinates to be sent into the end portal of the stronghold otherwise they’ll be placed above ground random seed runners literally never do this because how would they know where they have to stand

Even if they’re incredibly lucky enough to blind travel near the portal room of course we can’t all be as smart as big tony who admirably ends up right in the portal room note the chat errors that do not appear in vanilla minecraft now it’s time for the end fight and i know people

Can get a lot of enjoyment out of watching well done one cycles to finish speed runs this one is also very enjoyable for a very different reason at this point in the progression of minecraft speedrunning no runner should need more than 5 beds to one cycle the

Dragon no one’s to judge you for playing it safe and making more in case something goes horribly wrong but anyone who’s spent more than 30 minutes practicing one cycles should not need more than five beds six at most but as we know big tony sets their own standard so

I do mean this genuinely enjoy the one cycle Foreign Don’t fake minecraft speedruns you won’t get clout and everyone will think you’re an idiot but if you’re gonna do it at least have the courtesy to make it so bad that it’s funny i think i speak for all of us when i say thank you big tony now please go touch some grass

If you enjoyed that video we actually have tons of videos where we analyze real speedruns which by the way are really cool if you’re interested please subscribe because most of our viewers aren’t and be sure to join our discord as well as always thanks for watching

And i’ll see you in the next video You