My First Time Playing Minecraft & According To You Guys, It’s the “Luckiest Spawn Ever”

It’s time minecraft time to be exact listen i’m that lame guy that thinks of minecraft and i’m like there’s no way i can have fun with this because you just create whatever you want whenever you want however you want and that’s why i’ve never touched this

Game because i don’t really know what to do like i really don’t know what to do in this game but i love you guys i love all my people because without you i’d be nothing and there was somebody out there on twitter tweeting me for almost three months straight every day for

Three months i think they made it to day 82. this minecraft video is basically dedicated to you because i’m only playing this one time okay we’re only doing this one time for the homie dj screw but we are gonna jump into minecraft right now if you guys

Cool with that you down with that everybody get ready and buckle up cause here we go all right here we go just got dropped down like a pool in a toilet what are you looking at huh this pig looking at me funny this little oinker looking at me funny what’s good my guy

What’s good my guy i mean bacon tonight give me that give me that give me the ass bro give me the ass this segment brought to you by peta bro the pork chop came in handy i’m not even gonna lie the pork chop came in handy i found a treasure chest

How do i open it hold on i found poppy wait do i have these in my inventory i have those in my inventory i have a golden axe a golden chest plate a golden shovel golden pants bro i got golden pants hey why is it so freaking dark

I just went on my inventory for like two seconds why is it so dark okay i’m just being a giant [ __ ] all right so let’s break stuff down oh damn i can really break it down okay okay okay what’s down here hold on can i get a light bro i can’t see

Okay sorry i can’t see hold on it is so damn dark i need to figure out how to make like some light on some caveman type [ __ ] i got to figure out how to make fire hold on let me go back to my inventory and then let’s see a recipe

For fire oh i got pumpkin pie hey hey back it up bud what the hell is that oh [ __ ] oh god oh god oh god give me this dude oh god just do growling hard oh this is kind of creepy hold on get up hey what the [ __ ]

Is that what’s it okay hold on hold on hey back it up bud back it up [ __ ] god damn it run run [ __ ] come on come on come on come on come on come on come on come on get down there get down there Oh dude this guy is on my ass this guy’s on my ass like stink on [ __ ] why is he following me so hard it’s a freaking spider you can’t jump this fast did i say jump you can’t jump i mean i’m making up new words i know i’m a minecraft noob

But i know how to protect myself i’ve played enough games like that so this is what i’m gonna do i’m just gonna get up here get up to the highest points oh [ __ ] come on go go go go get to the highest point oh my god what the hey get the pig get

The pig it tastes good i had him earlier god damn it okay just get it to the highest point jay it’s right here come on let’s go go go date the pig they didn’t eat the pig goddamn they don’t need the pig they only eat me

They only eat me they only want my ass okay go up here yo boy all right and then what i’m gonna do i’m going to build this i’m going to protect myself right here boom boom How did that break is this golden axe and shovel thing rare like did i get something rare right off the bat i have no freaking clue but i’m gonna oh my god oh what raining okay maybe i can wash the filth off me maybe i could wash the noob off me this

Game is actually relaxing for some reason but hold up what the hell was that bro where’d i drop my stuff no hey no wait where’d i drop my stuff guys oh no oh an egg i don’t even know if i had good items or not i barely used that shovel in that thing

Am i naked again i’m naked again i’m still a freaking teal shirt blue pants wearing [ __ ] in any game you need food to survive so this pig is gonna be the sacrifice come on pig come on be my sacrifice i can’t fight but damn it i will choke you

Come on let’s go let’s go come on time to die need to sacrifice like your brother earlier okay now that i have food i gotta figure out how i’m gonna craft some stuff so i need to figure out how i’m gonna make a stick i need oak planks spruce planks

Birch planks or jungle planks do i like the sound of jungle planks birch logs that will make birch planks okay so now i have eights so now in order to make a stick i need that right i did it good job okay i made a stick

Oh now i can make stuff with the stick oh so this crafting table i can make stuff on here damn i really did have a good accent because i got this piece of pinching putta axe right here oh back to square one again oh wait my stuff’s right there hold up wait

That’s where i died okay maybe i can find my golden axe again all right what the the freaking archer’s back this naked freaking shooting arch is back i’m gonna kill you with an egg i’m gonna kill this [ __ ] with an egg i’m so sick of this dude

I’m so freaking sick of this dude come on let’s go let’s go i’m to kill him then i’m going to take him oh crap i’m dead i’m freaking dead you know what just rush just run jake just run just run just run forget about it forget about it forget

About it we good oh god hold on i saw a house it’s over here please let me live just let me live oh god don’t let me die horrible dad no please i see houses i say houses please oh no i don’t want to die i only have two more

Hearts man come on man please this is my first time i swear it’s my first time i’ve never done this before oh [ __ ] come on man just get me through here don’t let me die please don’t let me die please don’t let me die please don’t let me die

Oh guys i only got two hearts left there’s a house right here yes let me in let me in let me let me in come on let me in please let me in god dammit let me in the house okay thank you what the [ __ ] is this who’s this dick-nosed bastard holy crap

What is this a freaking dang thing of these guys where did they come from dude i am so freaking screwed where did they come from oh dude this is an orgy i did not expect to have an orgy in minecraft that is one of the last things i expected oh look

He’s fighting him over there he’s fighting him over there he’s messing him up dude that’s my guy let me see what’s down here in this big [ __ ] because i got seven torches maybe i can light up my world and i can go down here but let’s see

What we got let me put that right there and let’s see what we can do over here because look at this look at this [ __ ] oh hold on let’s put this right here let’s light it up guys because i’m really about that life hold on

Let’s go down here i think this would be a good place to be let’s get that going there you go there you go you guys want me to go down here i got some new stuff what kind of stuff do i have hold on let’s check what this is

Dire right the hell’s a dire right [ __ ] there’s stuff down here guys there’s something down here hold up your boy’s gonna find out what’s down here because i’m getting a little freaky on a friday let’s put that right here and i need to keep going down let’s keep going down

Let’s see what we can find here because there’s like new layers of blocks hold up guys i think i’m on to something like i think i’m on my way to greatness what is that noise sounds like a freaking bat although i gotta get the gap for the bat

I gotta get the gap for the bat do they have minecraft gats see look at this look at this there’s more stuff down here what the [ __ ] oh god it was a bat it was a bat okay don’t worry about that do not worry about that that’s lava okay

If i’m near lava then that means something good is happening what is down here well there’s cobwebs down here what there was water oh [ __ ] yo where am i guys yo where the hell am i yo okay oh god okay jay calm down what’s this what was that hey

Relax bud i think this is good right is that good [ __ ] hold on hold on you know what let me box myself in here i don’t trust nothing oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god no no no no no no oh please god

No no no no oh what the heck left myself in here okay there you go and then let’s start mining this stuff because this looks like some good [ __ ] right here is that any [ __ ] bro never mind i thought that was some good stuff i actually thought i came

Across some actually dope stuff but never mind so i just looked up how to mine diamonds and you can’t mine it with a wooden pickaxe or whatever so i’m a freaking [ __ ] i am a freaking unwiped [ __ ] and i’m ashamed of myself that’s why i think i’m only gonna make

One minecraft video because i am dumb okay so for anybody who’s curious how i found this diamond area i spawned out my village then i saw this little opening right here and then oh my god a freaking spider okay i went around here this is where i put

All the torches and then i saw this little hole right here and i was like you know what if there’s a hole i’m gonna go inside the hole so i went in the hole and then i dropped down into another hole and i dropped down here got my eagle on

For a little bit and then oh my god what the heck was that dude things are just exploding in my ass and then i jumped over here and then i saw this stuff and i was like all right time to get freaky so that’s what happened that’s my story

And i’m sticking to it what the hey what are you two doing in here guys i just came in here and these dudes were doing what okay guys we’re going back in here i finally have the things that i need i think because that’s iron ore right this thing

Please tell me that is iron that’s iron okay so now i can make the iron pickaxe so i think this is what we do so where’s my iron ore let’s get that in the furnace and then i gotta make these bad boys right i gotta do that and then now what there

We freaking go oh man that took me forever this is my first wait wait what happened at fire don’t go out don’t you dare go out don’t you double doggy style dare go out on me okay you make those iron ingots and you’re gonna like it

Okay so now your boy can make an iron pickaxe right here now i can mine some freaking diamonds okay let’s try it with this let’s try getting this thing what is that that is who the hell knows what that is all right now your boy can get some freaking diamonds yes

We got diamonds let’s go okay my first time playing this damn game we got some diamonds okay let’s get some gold too oh more diamond yes okay we found more diamond oh my god we found more diamond all right so this is what i’m gonna do you know what this is gonna be

My little safe haven so what i’m gonna do i’m gonna just uh be right here let me make this oh my god what am i doing what am i what am i doing jay stop okay guys so since i found those diamonds i’ve actually been pretty obsessed and i’ve

Been playing this game for a few hours now you can tell because i changed my clothes and things look kind of different now like look in my chest i got six diamond is that six or eight is that six or eight that’s eight it’s actually eight i got eight diamonds

I got a golden apple i got some freaking railroad tracks i got gold ore i got a bunch of stuff guys and i’m really excited about this because i was like you know what my first time playing minecraft and i got this good [ __ ] right here so let’s close this door

And then let’s put another door right here and you know i’ll put a wall right here wait what okay whoops let’s take that down and then let’s put a wall right here yeah guys i’m still a noob at this game i mean i’m not claiming to be an expert

This game is actually a lot of fun it’s way more fun than i thought i can’t believe i didn’t want to play this game because it was just one of those things where you create your own world and i’m not really good at those kinds of

Games i like games where it has like a story and then you progress through it and stuff like that but this game by just surviving and like trying to find diamonds and trying to upgrade your stuff it actually is a lot of fun so there is one more thing i want

To show you guys because i told you i was playing this game for a few hours so uh my guys naked again okay so i actually found this spot right here so i was actually digging my way through here and i found a spot right here to

The right okay i think i went up here yeah i built this [ __ ] right here look at this um let me put some stuff right here and then let’s take this down there you go put this back and i found this spot right here there’s like another railroad area so i

Guess this whole mine is just filled with all of these hidden railroad areas that were unfinished because there’s actually so many gold oh that guy there’s so many gold ores so many uh iron oars and there was a few diamond oars that i saw but let me just start hitting through here

And let me see what i find actually another spot right here what the heck bro i’m just finding random stuff come on there’s got to be diamond here i can smell it dude i can smell it it has that distinct smell and i smell it right now

It’s tickling my nose hairs give it to me i think i’m getting a little too obsessed with this game i need to calm down this is the only episode of this game i’m making i need to calm down i got a gold door though [ __ ] let’s freaking go oh look at that found

More i found more good [ __ ] yeah boy oh god there’s an archer guy give me this give me this go go did i get it did i get it i didn’t get it i gotta know what the oh my god no no no

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no we are not gonna die here no we are not dying on this damn hill we are going this way holy crap is this guy coming for me no how many emeralds do i have i got three emeralds baby okay

Oh [ __ ] oh god no no no no no no no no you stay back stay back stay back stay back stay back thank you whoa what is that noise hey what does that noise mean everybody that’s just a random noise right that actually doesn’t mean anything

That’s just a cute noise please tell me that’s just the cute noise that you hear in the game who the hell are those [ __ ] hold on let me stay in my room there [ __ ] some dudes who were like purple oh what the heck yo i’m done i’m done

Some dudes making noises outside look at that what the heck these freaking great value slender mans okay hold on i’m putting all my stuff in here just in case i die i’m putting you in here and then i’m putting my emeralds in here and then what else am i putting let’s

See let’s put all these oh my god what the hell are those noises all right guys but yeah i’m gonna end this episode of minecraft here shout out to the person that was tweeting me every single day until i played minecraft it’s actually a lot of fun

It’s way more addicting than i thought it would be once i found this case full of diamonds i was like you know what i gotta have more like i gotta have more of this and nobody’s gonna stop me this is probably the only minecraft video that i’m ever gonna upload on the channel

Unless you guys wanna see more let me know if you guys wanna see more of this if you do make sure you give this video one big fat like and tell a friend today that jay from the cub scouts is dead