PLAYING Minecraft for the FIRST TIME – Funny Video Game Challenge

Minecraft, is there literally  any game more accessible,   or more popular, than the  iconic sandbox title? Well,   during one of our routine social-distancing  appropriate remote conference meetings,   we discovered that The Infographics Show’s  favorite lab rat has never even touched the game,  

Saying, “I don’t get it, the graphics look awful”.  Well, we couldn’t really fire him for having bad   taste in games, so instead we challenged him  with playing Minecraft for the very first time! Start: Alright, I’m going to be completely  brutally honest here. I don’t get it-  

I mean the Minecraft craze. It looks  like a game for kids but some of my   very adult friends are some of the most  hardcore minecraft players out there.   One of them even used to make minecraft  worlds for some gameshow based on the game.

I got a copy of the game and booted it up, and  well, the graphics are awful. I guess I get it   though, it’s a huge open world that’s totally your  sandbox, so you can’t have good graphics or your  

Computer will melt. I do like the tongue in cheek  loading screen tips though, that’s a nice touch. Ok, so I loaded in to my temporary minecraft  life and I started… in the middle of nowhere.   My starting area is right next to the ocean but  looks like somewhere really cold because I can  

See ice sheets- maybe I’m in Minecraft Canada?  I have no idea if this starting area is good   or not, because I have no idea what  a good starting area would even be.   There’s trees though, and I heard  that you basically start with wood  

And you chop it down with your bare  hands, so I got to karate chopping trees. Not long after starting to chop down trees, I  had a dog come up to me, which was kind of cute.  

To be honest I thought it was a sheep until it  turned profile to me and I could see it better.   Cute doggie, unless it tries to kill me  of course, which thankfully it did not. Which was weird because I had heard that minecraft  was full of monsters that would try to eat you,  

Which I quickly discovered after making my  first crafting table or whatever its called.   Right there on the shore of my brand new  beachfront property were three zombies.   One was carrying a trident, which  is a bit weird, but very nautical.

Seeing as I was armed with literally nothing but  a block of wood, I gave them a wide berth and got   back to karate chopping trees, but pretty quickly  night began to fall. I guess night time is when  

All the other monsters come out, because suddenly  there were zombies and spiders all over the place,   and one managed to kill me. I guess blocks  of wood don’t make for very good weapons.  Also there was a weird creepy tall black creature  with glowing eyes that kept teleporting around,  

But not attacking me. It was just… weird.  Luckily though I literally died like thirty   steps away from where I spawned into the  world, so dying a further two or three times   was really nothing much more  than a minor inconvenience.

Ok, so the little research I did beforehand  told me to set down that crafting table block   thingy and start making tools out of wood, so I  did that. No idea what the hoe does, and when I   asked the girlfriend what a hoe does because  her little cousins play a ton of minecraft,  

She just responded with, “ask your momma”,  because my girlfriend is a comedy genius.  I made a hoe anyways, along with an  axe and a sword definitely sounded   like a good idea because I was tired of  dying a ton. Then, figuring that in a  

Game called ‘Minecraft” actually mining  stuff was important, I got a pickaxe. Good thing I got that sword too, because  very shortly after that another zombie came   rushing at me and I whacked him into pixel  oblivion. He dropped a cool gold helmet with  

An enchantment on it, so that was pretty  sweet- my first piece of armor. Hopefully   all the bad guys will swing at my head  now, since that’s pretty well protected. Alright, it was time to get serious about  survival, so I dug my first mineshaft.  

Figured it would be a bad idea to dig straight  down since I’d have no way to get back up,   so I made a sort of round staircase going down as  deep as I could go because I was curious exactly  

How big this world is. It was kind of cool to be  so in control of the environment, not gonna lie. Eventually I hit blocks I couldn’t break,  which I googled and turned out to be bedrock.   Basically there to keep you from  falling off the world, that makes sense.  

I started digging in a random direction  and found what google told me was iron ore-   hooray! Now I could make armor so I’m not so  squishy anymore and die in like three hits. My flimsy little pickaxe broke,  and so I headed to the surface,  

Excited to try out iron stuff. When  I got up top though I got hammered by   some weird manta ray floating thing up in  the sky, which google said was a phantom.   Apparently it’s the equivalent of pestering  parents who want you to go to bed, so I  

Decided that building a bed and sleeping in it  should be at the top of my list of things to do. Unfortunately this meant finding  a sheep so I could get some wool,   which took forever to find. Eventually though  I came back to my little slice of beachfront  

Property and started building a home to sleep  in. Well, a hovel would be more accurate.   I literally threw it together out of  whatever blocks I had on me at the time,   eager to get inside of something safe and stop  the weird sky manta rays from attacking me.

After a good night of sleep I went back into  the mines. I have to admit, digging and finding   resources was kind of exciting and I could  see how it can be addicting for people. I was   even starting to think the graphics were kinda  cute, especially when I ran across a baby cow  

While up top. The girlfriend looked  over and immediately “aaaaawww”ed,   so I killed the baby cow. That was  revenge for the hoe thing, I told her. Night came again, and along with it a zombie  dressed in gold armor. This blinged out zombie  

Needed to die, because I very much wanted what he  was wearing. Much to my surprise, he dropped both   pieces of armor he had on, and I had a full health  gold chest plate and pants with blast protection!

It’s a good thing I had blast protection too,  because I very shortly thereafter met a creeper.   I can’t tell you how much I hate these piece  of crap green idiots, and I can’t tell you   how many times over the last few days I’d been  sitting there quietly minding my own business on  

My farm when suddenly BOOM. And there goes my  terrain, my fencing, several of my animals… Anyways, that first creeper promptly blew up in   my face and I resolved to find a  better way to try and kill them. Returning to my third world hovel, I decided  I needed to take my living situation a  

Bit more seriously, and experiment with  constructing something a bit less… horrible.   I kinda liked the look of cobblestone, and  I had a ton of it, so I threw up some walls   to make the frame of a new, larger living area.

Nothing fancy, just a larger sleeping/storage  area for all my stuff. I’m not really one of   those super creative types when it  comes to building things in games,   though I was finding it kind  of fun here in Minecraft. The next morning a sheep or something  with a skin made out of what looks like  

A bunch of country flags wandered near my  house, and a wolf ate it. That’s a shame,   I bet it was super rare or something, and google  had taught me how to tame sheep and cows by now.   Well, in revenge I killed the wolf,  because that’s the code I live by.

With my sweet gold armor I was feeling  like exploring instead of mining all day,   so I took off in a random direction. My  environment had a ton of hills and rivers cutting   through the hills, and I have to admit, initially  I thought the graphics sucked and well, they do,  

But there’s a certain type of beauty to this  minecraft world. I think I’m starting to get it. As I was taking in the beauty, a witch  threw potions and magic at me and killed me,   making me lose all my stuff. Goodbye  gold armor, and screw exploring.

I went back to mining, since I needed  to replace all of my gear anyways,   and I punched through into a natural  cave which was really unexpected.   I guess I hadn’t thought that type of thing  existed, it was a really neat surprise.  

Less neat was the skeleton archer that popped up  below me and shot an arrow, knocking me upwards   and causing me to fall through the hole I had  punched into the cave, taking massive fall damage. I very quickly learned to hate skeletons when  exploring this strange cave, one of them shot me  

With an arrow and knocked me into lava. This exact  same thing would happen at least four or five more   times throughout my minecraft career, and I now  hate skeletons almost as much as creepers. Almost. Making my way back down, naked again, I managed  to beat the five minute timer and recover most  

Of my gear that didn’t fall into the lava with  me when my corpse did a loot explosion. I was   determined to explore these caves, and soon my  efforts were rewarded when I discovered… gold!   I filled my greedy little pockets with as many  goodies as I could find in the cave, though sadly,  

No diamonds. I had read up on diamonds, and  I very badly wanted diamond gear by now. Shooting back to the surface, I  found one of the weird tall black   figures again and decided to google it.  Enderman, nice to meet you, time to die.

I read that the Endermen were  supposed to be kind of tough,   but I ended up killing a few and none  of them were really a big problem. Also,   I got a bunch of ender pearls which  apparently do stuff later in the game.

Google had also taught me that you can  tame wild wolves and turn them into dogs,   so the next day I got a chance to do just  that, turning a wolf into a loyal friend.   The little hearts animation was pretty cute,  not gonna lie. This game was growing on me.

I planted some crops because I was doing  pretty poor in the food management department,   and then headed back to the exciting stuff- caving  and exploring. This time I broke through to a cave   with magma and a bunch of resources, including  more sweet, sweet gold. Also I ended up falling  

Into that lava eventually, but luckily  pulled myself out in time to avoid dying. After loading up on coal, iron, gold, redstone and  lapis lazuli, I went up top and found it raining.   Some guide I had been watching on youtube said  that you can catch a lot of stuff if you fish  

When it’s raining, so fishing I went and stuff  I caught, including some enchanted pieces of   equipment which is kind of weird. True to form,  a creeper snuck up on me while I was fishing and   kabloomed me straight into the water.  Seriously, I (bleeping sfx) hate those things.

The next day I was back to my hunt for  diamonds, only I accidentally broke through   a wall holding back lava and almost died. Instead  of diamonds, I found an enderman deep in my mine,   which seemed kind of weird, but killed  him too and scored another pearl.

Back up top I had been working on a cow  farm because I read up on enchantment   and really needed the leather.  Tending to my sweet dear cows,   another piece of crap creeper snuck up on me  and blew up my fence, my dog, and one of my cows  

Along with a bunch of the terrain. I really,  really, really, really, really HATE creepers. I chased down my cows and built  a second enclosure for sheep,   only for guess what? CREEPER TIME and bloom,  there went my stupid fence and terrain.

I had found diamonds by now though and though  it took me a long time to find the first vein,   I quickly found a second the very next day. Alright, I’d stashed a bunch of resources  by now and I was getting tired of living in  

A crappy little shack, so it was time to build  something special. It was time to build a home   for me and my happy dog friend- oh wait nevermind,  because a stupid creeper blew him up. I decided  

I’d build directly on the water, and make myself  a nice little beach house. That would require a   lot of clearing of sand though, which I would  use in turn for the construction of the house   because I wanted it to look a bit like one  of those new mexico/arizona desert homes.

I started reclaiming land on the ocean like  I was China illegally building military bases   in the South China Sea, and made a sand  bridge over to my man made island. While   diving down into my mine to dig up resources, I  had accumulated a bunch of crap I didn’t want,  

And got the idea to bring some lava back  up and make a little trash pit. So after a   few buckets full of lava, I had my very own  lava lake to toss crap I didn’t want into.

The next day I went to check the crops I had  planted and to my surprise found a turtle   stuck inside my plot of wheat. It was kind of  really cute, so I left it stuck inside for now.   The next day I went to check on my  turtle friend and guess what- another  

Stupid (bleep sfx) creeper exploded  behind me for like the tenth time,   killing my turtle and ruining my  landscape for the umpteenth time. If I ever meet the person who programmed creepers  into this game, we’re going to have words. I turned my frustration back to building  though, and finished my artificial island where  

I would build my dream home. Or at least the home  I could build with my meager skills in this game. I needed a ton of sand though for the  house, so I quarried out a nearby island  

So I could turn it into sandstone. Finally, I  was ready to start building, and I got to work.   Some lapis lazuli blocks and flowers later,  and I built myself a cute little house.   Sure, it’s not the fanciest thing,  but I kind of really liked it.  

Then, because I had fallen into my own  lava trash disposal lake at least twice,   I built a stone fence around that and  surveyed my tiny little minecraft home. Sure, it wasn’t the greatest thing in the world,  

But you know what- for having started the game  like two days ago I was kind of proud of it.   Beat my terrible stone shack which I  quickly turned into storage at least. Alright, I’ll admit it, Minecraft kind  of grew on me. I had goals for this  

Tiny little digital slice of paradise, and  besides exterminating the creeper species,   I wanted to keep building. Next would  be a perimeter wall to keep mobs out,   and then a nether portal to check  out what lies on the other side. This experience has been  an emotional rollercoaster,  

From the joy of building to the horror  of dying in lava while holding twenty   diamonds because I accidentally punched  through a ceiling supporting a lava lake-   I’ve wanted to throw my PC out the  window several times thanks to this game,  

Mostly because of creepers, but I’m also kind  of in love with my little minecraft world. And you know what, the crappy  graphics have definitely grown on me. Want to watch me play more games? Check  out 24 hours to create the perfect life   in the sims! Or check out  this other video instead!