The Legend of Zelda is an action-adventure game series about exploring dungeons and being murdered by chickens. The series follows the many incarnations of the three people that wield the Triforce. You play as Link, who has the Triforce of Courage. You play as [HYAGH], who has the Triforce of Courage, which gives him the power to rock the dumbest hat in existence. Sometimes he’s young, sometimes he’s hot, sometimes he’s toon, and sometimes he’s not! But he’s always Link! But he’s always [HYA]! The Triforce of Wisdom belongs to Princess Zelda! Zelda spends most of her time on vacation in a dungeon somewhere cashing royalty checks from her successful franchise, and making Link pick up her laundry. and making [HUP] pick up her laundry. Zelda doesn’t have a personality, except for Wind Waker, where she’s a cool pirate captain JUST KIDDING boring princess mode activate :( In Breath of the Wild, you can unlock her personality! Yup! That’s… That’s what I’m focusing on in these cutscenes… The Triforce of Power belongs to Ganondorf! Ganondorf is a wizard who doesn’t… know what wizards are. Ganon is always the bad guy, even when he’s isn’t! Sometimes he shows up at the end of the game to steal another villain’s hard work using the darkest magic of all: plagiarism. He wants to take over Hyrule for… …reasons. When the Triforce is brought together, something, something, vague magic! [HUP] missed orientation day at the Triforce club, so he has to prove himself over and over again each game while the other two just get to be born with powers. Spend 80% of the game convincing the finicky goddess to give you the necessary items to defeat the bad guys, as she becomes a bigger obstacle than they are. GODDESS: Oh, hey, look at that! GODDESS: You got the three magic belt buckles! GODDESS: …Great! Okay, now… you need to… order me… GODDESS: uhhhh I’m feelin like… a pizza? GODDESS: A Hero’s Pizza. But it’s, it’s gonna need the SACRED TOPPINGS. GODDESS: Let’s say, pfffbtbbthh… six? Six toppings. GODDESS: Each from a dungeon. Maybe some… pepperoni from a volcano… GODDESS: Chives from a haunted woods… GODDESS: Some kinda… time-themed anchovies…? GODDESS: Diamonds. Just… diamonds on the fourth slice. But it’s all worth it to get the Master Sword, the only weapon that can seal away Gamblegork! Unless you have a bug net! …or a fishing rod… or a… bottle… …why’d I even get this thing? It might be tough, but in the end, Link always wins! It might be tough, but in the end, [HYKE] always wins! Except when he doesn’t, but we don’t talk about those times! The series has an overarching timeline linking all the games together! The series has an overarching timeline [HYKE]ing all the games together! But it’s really confusing and makes everything worse, so you should just ignore it! Expand your arsenal with cool weapons that you find in the dungeons! And now thanks to Breath of the Wild, they break! If you’re ever low on supplies on your journey, just mow the lawn for infinite item pickups that tiny people leave for you to find in the grass! …Oh! Wh-where’d you get that disembodied heart, Picori? where’d ya… where’d ya get that… Enjoy dealing with each installment’s signature annoying mechanic, like Kinstone merging, the Temple of the Ocean King, link cables… Kinstone merging, the Temple of the Ocean King, [HNK] cables… all of Skyward Sword… And don’t forget the bad-controls minigame! You don’t NEED to beat it. You’ll just never get that last heart container! Just 19 of ’em at the top of your screen! Taunting you! Forever. Ponder over each game’s remixes of familiar locations, characters, and races like the Zora! Have you ever wanted to kiss a fish on its fishy fish lips? Look at all these attractive fish! You can kiss this fish or this fish or this fish! The fishabilities are end-fish! And now that Breath of the Wild is out and everybody loves it, maybe we can finally stop hearing about how every new installation of the series isn’t as good as Ocarina of Time. It wasn’t even that good, you guys! Yeah, good luck hitting me with those 19-year-old control schemes! HaHAHAHAHAHA OUGH ough… oh, they got the 3DS remake… (weak cough) doesn’t count! Thank you SO much for watching! If you’d like to support the show and get more episodes, then please check out this episode’s sponsor, TeeBlox. TeeBlox is a t-shirt subscription service where you can get awesome shirts delivered to your door for just $8.99/month, every month. If you like the Legend of Zelda, they’ve got a BUNCHA cool Zelda designs, as well as Pokémon, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Naruto, Attack on Titan, Marvel, D.C., and tons of other stuff. And if you use my referral code, JELLOTBX, when checking out at TeeBlox.com, You can get 10% off your entire order! 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This video, titled ‘So This is Basically Legend of Zelda’, was uploaded by JelloApocalypse on 2017-07-21 16:27:43. It has garnered 16162332 views and 420459 likes. The duration of the video is 00:04:32 or 272 seconds.
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Don’t worry Link, it could be worse. She could’ve asked for a piece of pizza with Star Fragments on it.
Can you guess which Zelda games I do and don’t like just by watching the video? Try your luck and win a heart piece! (Hint: Breath of the Wild is REALLY fun)
ILLUSTRATOR: TJ Bertino https://dreamkazoo.tumblr.com http://dreamrise-comic.com/
WRITER/NARRATOR/EDITOR: Brendan Blaber
MUSIC/HYLIA VOICE: pLasterbrain https://twitter.com/PizzaGameVN https://twitter.com/plasterbrain
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