THE BEST DADS ON THE SERVER!! | Empires SMP S2 | #37

Hello you lovely Lots welcome back to Empires so if you didn’t know you didn’t see last episode just to keep you up Catherine is now Queen well she was for like just a little bit what Catherine wanted was us to bring like good luck charms to basically uh her base to see

If it wouldn’t be like uh cursed anymore but I didn’t even get time to do that because my old Deputy went in and got the crown flip Goblin flip is now the king of Empires wearing that shiny Crown if it couldn’t get any worse right now

So we’re gonna head over to spawn see what his rule is hopefully it’s it’s a nice one and it’s not a bad one and yeah we’ll we’ll get on with it as you can see everybody by the way lots more people have done their towers look at

This we got mine here which by the way sausage there he is didn’t know who’s there and what thank you sausage actually he came on and he designed inside of mine this is a sausage mythical sausage Interior right here don’t you think I was literally

Coming on to design it and stuff came on and he’d already done it look look how good it looks what what a lovely man right let’s find out what the rule is let’s do excuse me Goblin child don’t tell me I’ve got one don’t you why have I been

Given a child am I about to be a dad the goblings king’s decree all Empire rulers must adopt a goblin child to help with the sudden population growth you must care for the child at all times and protect it with your life the child must remain in your offhand the entire time

Do not eat the child if the child dies you shall pay 10 blocks of raw gold to the Goblin King Goblin lives are worth much more than this if you keep the Child Alive as a thank you you should received five diamond blocks that’s a lot if your child dies with plenty that

Need homes you may adopt a second child with the same offer bro I’m okay with one hello Goblin child how are you give you a little spin round great come on then oh my gosh is it like the same song oh my gosh am I gonna have

That little fella right there staring at me this whole entire episode he’s so big look how big he is it’s like I’ve got a strap but you know those baby straps where they like have them around the front and the baby’s just chilling like here that’s what it looks like on me

What is this right I can’t get over he’s just looking dead at me look at this man just looking straight at me what do I do with him can someone take the crown off a flip so we don’t have to look after this child let’s get out of tumble town okay

I just lost my kid I’ve just heated my child I’ve just eaten yeah it happened so fast wait how do I get another one I need a message for him I’ve already lost a child where do I adopt another one why Scar’s head just smiling at me

I can’t believe it took me a great deal of like 10 seconds to lose my child right hello second child the thing is he’s gonna win here flip is a mastermind at evil one at that because he knows if it’s in the right hand we’re gonna eat

It because if you right click while he’s in the right hand and you’ve got nothing it automatically eats the child so he knows he’s getting rich from this so I’ve got to be extra careful with the child now Goblin child this is tumble Town Yep this is it I’ll give you a

Quick little tour this is train tracks down there’s my first home this is Deputy Norman that’s the jail where I put bad people this is the church this is the bank that’s my best bud with no face and there’s my best bud with a face that’s the saloon there’s a guy who uh

Visits there quite a lot he might be around there later and I’ll I’ll introduce you to him this is my storage system that’s really bad these are all my villager houses thingy my Bobs and this is just my extra houses over here and my little Lagoon fun right you know what it’s exhausting

Just showing you around hey Scott just said come down by the water what’s this what is this what are these what why is that two shirtless men on my in my Lagoon what is this even for like a bun so yeah this must be the best place for like a tan so yeah

It’s the best place also where’s your kids what Hermes is taking care of mine I was kidding dude that was the rule you have to have in your Panda the whole time what do you mean dude you’re gonna get in trouble I’ve already seen mine he already

Approved wait so what did what are these tats going going you like myself I just always had tattoos I’ve always had this for years I wasn’t born okay did you set these up or yeah yeah this is a little beach party come on come in the water Jimmy what do you mean

What we said you’ve been a little bit grumpy recently and then also this is yeah the weather here like let’s have a little swim or Beach episode Don’t Drown Your Child please oh please don’t please don’t drown the child yeah oh sorry sorry I was just

Here he’s all good did you want to see him did you want to see him let me just yeah let me just oh sorry sorry he’s just he’s fine he’s fine he’s fine here he is you want to take a look at him murdering the child yeah

Did you want me to I gotta make sure it’s the same one yeah if you could just throw him on the ground for me and the same one you need him oh yeah yeah he is look at him born and raised he was sat there on my pedestal oh wow

I think he’s gonna he’s a good boy yeah yeah yeah it’s the other hand it’s called like look at these guys uh you can have them back you’re doing a good job though uh but uh what happened to the first one that’s a that’s a different tag what do you mean what do

You mean here’s the second child what yeah that’s a second I can’t believe you did that what happened to the first one this is uh do you eat a child Jimmy you wouldn’t lie to the king would you hold I can’t believe you did that I ate

Some pork and he fell all right he fell I tried I got hungry he he you ate the child no I didn’t eat the chicken I was eating pork right and it finished and he just and then you ate the child no I did not eat the child he just he

Just threw by the way King I don’t like saying that but I don’t know why these two are here they say that I’ve been grumpy and they’re just chilling in my in my I appreciate you’ve taken the second child here to the beach and you

Know just get him out in the world they need to get a lot of pictures from where we are as Titan goes over to see a massive shadow cast yeah the best thing my best buddies yeah I miss him yeah well I wish he was here with you guys you know he’s the

Father of my child yeah Oh yeah um get in here get in here wow Beach episode huh I like this episode oh yeah let me just have a little switch hold your breath little one hold your breath there we go please don’t waterboard the child I’m not I’m up there with don’t eat the child like

Waterboarding this child probably not the best no but you know giving them a well-rounded life and experiencing a lot of different things great great you’ve completed it what do you mean I’ve been touched and then yeah there was something accidents of what they hatched I had to get full proof I had to

Give a video evidence to flip that it was in fact let’s see one which it was um so I was like oh yeah well let’s just let me have you seen it have you have you seen this trick have you seen this trick but where you like

Chuck it Chuck them in the air and you catch him thank you I can’t believe that just happened that’s another 10 blocks of raw gold sir wait where did he go I did what like you shattered a child that’s right 20 blocks of raw gold for them I I

Thought he was gonna go back in my hands I’m not gonna lie um do I have to go I have to go get another child I mean you can elect another child if you’d like to or you can just pay the gold and be done Ollie for some reason keeps selecting

For more children you want a new child I’m gonna go get a new child is that okay yeah we can you can have another child but I mean the deal you’re just going for a third round yeah don’t do that I wanna you wanna eat the child no I tell you I

Don’t want to eat the child I just wanna you know he gets lonely here sometimes in Tumble town I need oh I need someone and and the old sheriff is And obviously if you look at my hands right now I have no child so he has to meet someone oh I guess he’s got a yeah do you enjoy your Sunset Beach yeah it’s going to say yeah yeah this is probably pretty much done here yeah yeah do a

Little late night skinny dipping then we’ll be on our way excuse me all right have fun enjoy is that can they are they breaking rules if they Skinny Dip in My I mean Goblin society’s got nothing against it like you beat you keep your pants on keep

Your pants on please right I’m let me you can reenact free will you bet on it no don’t encourage it no okay second time’s a charm second time’s charm third time third time’s a charm third third time’s a charm third time’s the charm uh

Go for that one or just go get a lot of gold for me okay thanks all right all right you come with me you gotta lose until Jim’s gonna take care of you yeah yeah oh sheriff old sheriff wants to meet you yeah we’re gonna meet a very special person right now

Bye all right where is he where is he where is he if he’s not at the saloon I have no idea where he is he lives here he practically lives in this place no idea oh oh gosh he’s dreaming again I gotta wake him up wait you think you quit you wait

Slick oh sheriff wake up wake up oh my God oh Stars war is happening over here what’s on your head what are you what are you talking about everybody wears a mask when they sleep don’t they no well only you actually only you um that’s nice somebody said to me they

Said I put a mask over my eyes and I sleep so I thought well that’s a pretty neat idea so I thought I’d do it too no no no you take it off take it off they’ve okay yeah don’t mind my hair I’ve only woken up there we go I’m

Feeling fresh there we go um I’ve got a little come out the front come out the front let’s get out of here you you practically live in here let’s get some fresh air yeah this is my place so I’ve been gone for a little while I decided

To go for a little journey me and a horse we uh we went out west I hope this is West nope that’s South okay I was going in the wrong direction which explains why I could not find my way home well a couple things have happened

Since you’ve uh a Road West the East somewhere um basically there’s a crown there’s a new king and uh King as you can see by my little hand here my little little fella attached to my hip here we we have the burger a what it looks like a burger

From here I can see the bun and I can see the two little pickles sticking out the side of it I want you to meet our Goblin child oh my goodness what in the where who decided to give you a child the king he’s giving out there’s so many

The basically gobland uh because the king is a goblin flip you’ve met flip um he is he’s the new king now and he has so many children that need adopting and looking after so he’s been given them out um well that’s one of the things that uh

Me and the old Goblin man have in common I have at least that I know of and like 14 children uh I have not been present for any of them I’m married to my work not to my wife uh so you’re this is a good this is a good time to redeem

Yourself then all right so they do get lost a couple of times you have to put it in your off hand yeah there you go oh you’re staring at me yeah I don’t I don’t know oh my gosh look at you guys so they do get lost a couple of times so

There is there is actually you had 14 okay I’m okay I’m not cut out for this I I put people in the slam and not not over here no you just said you weren’t around for your 14 kids you hey you’ve got to be here for someone

Look the facilities are not come with me come with me let me show you something real quick back in my day before you know good old midweek Town became Tumble City or whatever you want a couple Town tumble Town tumble tumble Metropolis I don’t know what you’re talking about all

Right we used to have this cell right here yeah now what we used to also have in here was what I called the children’s playroom now this was also a cell but the walls were padded so you could put a tiny person in there and they could not

Hurt themselves no matter how hard they tried but we the thing is we can’t leave the the children in a padded padded place because our rule is we have to be holding the child in our offhand the entire time that thing looks like a water floating

Device when you hold it it’s so huge on you that it looks like a rubber dig you know what you know what let’s get to we’re gonna get you your own child come on oh do I have to you have to look after your own you’re here

And if if Goblin flip if King flip hey if he finds out that you you’re around here and you haven’t adopted one of his children he got me mad oh my goodness let me let’s just okay I’ll tell you what I’ll get one and then I’ll get trapped in a hole again for

Another 30 years wait and it worked the first time I didn’t have to pay any kind of Child Support yeah but then you then you’re gonna be trapped you’d actually have the voice well I I don’t mind being trapped if I’ve got no bills that’s all I care about is money not to

Who what in the world is that wait oh over there oh Birds this might be a little bit awkward uh that’s my best butt over there oh that’s fine I understand it doesn’t say best buds it says eight EST eight uh eastern central time I get it and you

Got eight UDS which is United Diamond State that’s what it’s called that’s that’s all that means right it’s just eight and eight no it’s it’s yeah actually yeah that’s what it means yeah it’s just day-to-date rather than yeah it ain’t a sheriff can’t be friends with anybody other than Sheriff’s I don’t

Stop looking at it it’s okay atst yep a-u-d-s yeah it’s all good it’s all right right hold your breath oh I forgot about this thing again oh my goodness oh get me out of here where I’m at where am I right here right here oh hey oh what

Happened there I just I told you every time it gets worse Wi-Fi went down my equilibrium is gone I don’t even know what a Wi-Fi is I told you I have 14 I didn’t commit to any of those what if I missed Wi-Fi left Wi-Fi betrayed I never

Betrayed I’m an honest man yeah yeah oh well this is quite the entrance where did this come from this is this is the new spawn this new area that all of us come together and uh we chill look at our chairs my favorite thing to roast on

A barbecue compared to poop yep that that is it what is that that is that is meat of some kind look look at this my goodness look at this look at my chair now this is where a council sits event oh oh y’all have seats yeah yeah let me just find my trouble

Ollie uh Jam Scott Joel he left his child here Catherine flip Lizzy oh this gotta be my nope does that mean pick my own chairs no you share mine it’s all good you come here sit here sit right here yeah hey I’m starting to think that I’m not a main character

I’m thinking I’m a side plot something to me just screams end credits you know what I mean I’m not in the big colorful ones I mean the one where they play the soundtrack and people only see the sheriff’s name when they’re waiting for that damn after credit scene

I don’t care Thanos is coming back with another dead or white poor glove are you are you a bit offended has this happened before no before it was a bit now I’m Maddie frustrated right let me get you let me get you a child all right this is

Right here you go they just have them in boxes now they’re ready to go they’re ready to go hold on I want to see which one has my eyes hold on oh I’ve given you one oh does this one no this one this one’s too brave no I

Can’t take more power this well you’ve picked it up once you’ve got two you have to right I’ll take this one I’ve got two kids help I’m gonna call it fresh fresh that’s not that’s not me pronouncing the word fresh differently it’s just Sheriff backwards

I mean if I was to use all of my momentum to just you know go oh hold on now the Chain’s there ready ready it does go through did you just did you just throw yeah I just it’s like an interdimensional slip and slide that’s what I thought it was I thought

He was going to a playground right let me just throw you right two well all right let’s hope they end up in the same place right should I go through and get up yeah you you stay yeah you go get I’ma stay right you stay right there okay don’t fall asleep again

Oh there they are oh my gosh holy moly right we’ve got um got three kids how have I ended up with three kids right I’m back with them I’m back uh oh oh hello where are you how is little foreign was was he sick no no no no he was good

He was good he said do it again don’t do it again there’s something really cool you can do though if you put it if you put it in your offhand put a little put a little fresh in your ready go did you fresh did you just I just I ate some

Food did you just eat fresh into the ground I don’t fresh where have you gone no Sheriff oh sheriff look at me what you’ve lost where is he you’ve lost him well I mean it’s a personal best I’ll give myself that his his farash version two there you go

Oh wait hold on hold on hold on no wait you can’t look in the eyes again you can’t right I want to call this one uh the NFL it’s uh no wait oh yeah yeah the nafo it’s offhand but backwards denafo little the NFL nice I owe I owe like 20

Raw gold blocks now this is not good we keep what do you mean what every time I lose a child we oh flip let’s get back to the saloon let’s go back to your house yeah we can go back we can have a drink don’t you worry we’ll get you some stuff

I’m thinking of a human child what what do goblins drink uh I don’t know he didn’t he didn’t tell us that much you get up here you sit down take a seat I’ma check on you in a little while and uh see if you’ve still got danapho all

Right but you look after him he’s yours now he’s yours I can almost entirely promise that I will not have him when you come back don’t lose another son you’ve already lost 15. right here we go now we’ll play a game with you little did Apple and this is I’ll throw you in

The air and I can’t no don’t don’t I don’t got my old strength I’ve done it already don’t do it it’s an apple here we go come here baby come here yeah oh oh There was a pixel for a moment and then nothingness you’ve just killed

Dinatho and faresh I don’t I don’t think kill is the right term I think uh aggressively played with is probably a better terminology oh sheriff it’s why I stay in the saloon and not the nursery you are the worst Father Figure ever I know that that’s why I fled [Laughter]

But I have self-awareness I knew I knew you weren’t running after Ricky the Swift just to get down in the mines I knew that was another reason look when you gotta hide you gotta hide man I’ll catch you later old Sheriff goodbye can’t look after himself and he lost two

Two Goblin children in that time I need to start grinding some gold because I have a lot of gold to oh flip tune in next time everybody to see if the little one here is is still alive I’ve lost five I’m not fit for this