The Presidents First Day of High School in Modded Minecraft! *parody*

All right everyone get off of my bus it’s your guys’s first day of high school bro I’m not trying to go back to school I had so much fun during the summer and I don’t want it to end facts Joe this sucks but at least I was

Able to have my rich parents bribe the school to let us have the same schedule nice Donnie this should be a pretty lit year then oh yeah did you see that bill and Lamar are going to fight during lunch bro it’s the first day and people are already fighting we definitely got

To see that but who the hell is even Lamar I’m pretty sure he’s some big dog from a rival Middle School that was talking and they’re finally going to settle it during the first day of high school but anyway let’s head to our first period class yo Donald you have

The schedule yeah our first Daddy said he’s going to give me a small loan of a million dollars when I get older bro that kind of sounds boring and not gonna lie but hey at least it’s not algebra all right guys we’re at room 202 let’s go inside I think we’re the first ones

Here what’s up broke if you’re here because you want to get rich and become high value males you can go ahead and find a seat I’m going to start the Tate speech shortly broad did our teacher really just call us some broke that is so rude facts Joe we

Definitely got to find a way to get him fired like we did with our other teachers in middle school hey everyone my name is Elon Musk and I am by far the smartest person in the room so you guys better not mess with me or I’ll reach

Into my backpack no one cares Elon you little nerd I’m gonna bully the out of you again this year so I hope you’re ready Donald I think you should stop bullying people we’re in an American High School now and we have no clue what these kids are capable of they could

Even be in a gang yeah Donald I heard that there’s a bunch of retards in this school that think there’s some sort of blood or I see them posting it on the tick tock all the time all right that’s the Bell I’m not sure why there’s only four of you but we are

Underfunded so I guess it makes sense hey guys what’s up it’s me moist critical and I had to go through something so atrocious that it will spread your butt cheeks just by hearing it so I’m not even going to bother explaining it but I did make it here in

The end no one gives a about your excuses we don’t do that in my class so I’m still marking you late wow this teacher is such an ass perhaps I’ll have to regurgitate all of my previous meals onto his desk and smear it all over the walls alright everyone welcome to my

Economics class I’m going to be teaching you guys how to get Bugattis and my name is Andrew Tate also known as the top G but you all will refer to me as Professor Tate because I am one of the lead professors from the prestigious Hustlers University does anyone have any

Questions wait I want a Bugatti but aren’t they expensive how are we supposed to get the money yes I will teach you everything you need to know about the Matrix and getting Bugattis but first and foremost I would like to announce that we have a zero tolerance

Policy for Vaping as said on this poster it’s not cool to Jewel in school we breathe air here and we don’t need a vape damn guys the school is really cracking down on us smoking the Vapes I got that mango Jewel pot on me right

Now I hope I don’t get caught Obama you nerd no one smokes the cringe Jewels anymore we’re in high school now so we smoked the weed pen now wait Joe you got the weed pen on you let me get a hit like nah I didn’t bring it today because

I’m not a brain dead NPC that would bring it on the first day of school like you guys hey you two stopped talking while the top G is talking if you do it again I’m gonna go over there and slap you but anyways for our first classroom

Activity I’m going to spread some Tate wisdom now here is a picture of a tweet I made while locked up in Romania two sussy Baca inmates recently reminded me the worst thing a man can do is submit for the hardest times are when Allah watched him more closely he must look at

His oppressors in the face and say I can take it and guess what I did I took it right in the ass inside that prison cell for the sake of our great Allah and from that day on my was never the same again so what did we learn females

Are bad and males are good so why would you mess with gross females when you can just mate with other G’s and Achieve true enlightenment oh wait that’s the Bell everyone get the hell out of my class bro what the hell was even that I’ve been on this Earth

For 14 years and I’ve never seen anything like that yeah I sure hope our next class is a little more normal yo Donald what do we have next on the schedule um our next class is gender studies because the state mandates that we have to take it it’s actually right next to

The economics room oh that’s perfect that means I have some free time to hit my vape in the bathroom I’ll be right back guys bro Obama is such a Feen he can’t even go 10 minutes without vaping let’s just get to class already all right everyone welcome to my gender

And women’s study class my name is AOC and I hope we can have a great year and learn a lot of useful stuff but first and foremost I need to warn you guys about the crazy economics teacher next door Mr Tate the little please avoid him at all costs I’m actually

Trying to get him fired right now but anyway let’s just get started with class does anyone know how many genders there are yes I know the answer I’m not sure how this is high school level material but there is definitely only two genders Donna you dumbass it’s 2023 and I’m

Pretty sure the number is already up to 107. get it right yes Joe there is actually an infinite number of genders because it is a social construct and we can just change the definition whenever we want we will actually go more in depth into the specifics of gender

Theory later in the course but first I would like to share some exciting career activities for all of you aspiring gender studies majors at number one we have Starbucks Barista which is actually one of my favorites because it’s similar to the bartending job I had a while back

At number four we have only 15. lady can you please shut up I can hear your annoying ass squeaks and brain dead opinions all the way from my classroom while teaching my tate wisdom so pipe the down get the hell out of my class Mr Tate you’re interrupting my

Base gender studies lecture if you don’t leave then I’m going to call the school resource officer and have him ship you back to Romania call him then I don’t care I’m literally the top G and I have a tate speech to give no one wants to hear your gender studies there

Is male and female oh hell no this bigot has some nerve I guess I’m just gonna have to blast some everyone you can leave for today we can continue the gender studies tomorrow nice guys that means we have some free time to explore the school until our

Next class bruh this school is big as we should take note of all of the camera locations so we can plan a heist to steal a bunch of teaching equipment and sell it online that’s a good idea Joe imagine if we pulled off a heist and stole all of the laundered money-funded

Computer equipment in the library yo guys I am very experienced in the art of GTA heists and it shouldn’t be hard to eat all of the expensive name brand school computer equipment in the middle of the night and loaded up in a van I’m going to draw up some plans after school

Today all right Obama I’m trying to make money it’s me Bill oh how’s it going Bill we heard that you’re going to fight Lamar at lunch today do you think you got it in the bag oh of course man Lamar is such a his girl Monica Lewin

I can assure everyone that I did not have sexual relations with that woman but either way Lamar has zero skill well I have that Pro level MMA training from my dad so I’m gonna whoop his ass nice bill I hope you can win the fight I’m definitely going to watch it but anyway

We should go to class and I know Obama needs to hit his Vape so you can go ahead and do that because I know your ass is going to do it anyway hello everyone welcome to my class my name is Mr DeSantis and I will be teaching you all some real history

Without all of the woke lgbtq critical race Theory that the woke radical left mind virus be teaching y’all these days wait hey young man is that a book I see oh hell no you better get that out of my sight right now wait teacher why would books be banned from

The classroom are you or something books are created by the woke left mind virus to indoctrinate our children with the woke CRT lgbtq agenda created by the elites to suppress the American people like bro we already have a gender studies class in this school and that is some straight in

This class we’re going to use Twitter as our source of information instead of a book because their CEO is very based and red pilled damn guys our teacher is based a F this year is definitely going to be straight fire okay everyone for our first lesson we’re going to be going

Over the presidents that are featured on the coins I know this sounds basic and all but I really got to undo all of that woke BS that the failed school system has taught you so please pay attention so our first coin is the penny and our 16th President Abraham Lincoln was on it

Now all you need to know about Lincoln is that he was a g that taught true equality before the woke left CRT LGBT mind virus came in and ruined everything but that is a lesson for another time now on the five cent coin we have Thomas Jefferson who believed that all men are

Created equal unless you were one of his 600 slaves I guess okay so on the 10 cent coin we have our boy FDR who truly valued the citizens rights well unless you were Japanese then I guess you get put into an internment camp but we don’t

Talk about that okay so here we have George Washington on the quarter who was a straight Legend Who whooped those British people all the way back to England with his Pro Gamer moves now for our final coin of this lesson we have John F Kennedy which is on the 50

Cent coin because he’s missing 50 percent of his head after his ass got assassinated by the CIA does anyone have any questions about this segment bro this is so brain dead I’m definitely going to drop this class for something that isn’t taught by a right-wing nut job what do you mean

Obama our teacher is fitting straight facts and I don’t see anything wrong with it okay guys I guess our next topic can be about the AR-15 now that we just passed a bill that allows teachers to carry guns on campus but anyway this is the very scary AR-15 that the libtards

Keep crying about for some reason so if any shooter pulls up to this school you can all be assured your boy daddy DeSantis will have it handled because of how badass I am does anyone have any questions wait Mr teacher what type of dystopian society would need its

Teachers to carry literal assault rifles this is so dumb shut up Obama there’s nothing wrong with untrained teachers carrying weapons in a school setting my finger slipped um guys let’s all just pretend that did not just happen OMG you almost killed Obama you better put that away right now okay I put

It away I would like to apologize for blowing out everyone’s eardrums I swear it was just an accident so please don’t hate me you guys oh that’s the Bell everyone I swear it hasn’t been 45 minutes yet but I guess that’s fine everyone get the hell out

Bro that class was dumb as but I’m starving so let’s head to the cafeteria for some lunch yeah I hope they Square Pizza the serving or some or some sandwiches which is which surprisingly takes wait guys shouldn’t we hurry up I thought Bill and Lamar gonna fight yeah

Guys let’s run to the cafeteria we can’t miss the fight I have a feeling it’s going to be pretty wild hey what’s up Bill you little I see you was talking to my girl over the summer you trying to catch these hands Lamar you hoe ass we all know that

I have no relations with your girl Monica Lewinsky I have much better taste than that not bro you capping for real for real and I’m gonna beat that ass and slide on your block after school with my blicky so what’s up oh what’s up then how about you swing first you won’t

Cause you’re scared oh I’ll swing first all right come catch these hands oh hell no you just done up I got those Pro MMA skills that totally did not consist of watching One YouTube video guys what the are we even watching they’re barely hitting each other bruh

I’m dead I think we need a refund Elmo Obama you must be new to American School fights this is how it usually goes down I’m actually quite surprised they haven’t resorted to Jumping each other yet hey shoot they won’t listen to my commands ah I’m out cool we got 12 out here

Oh hell no bro I gotta go Lamar you I definitely won the fight with my Pro MMA skills that I learned on YouTube nah you’re going into the principal’s office right now for questioning everyone else please continue to your fourth period class lunch is canceled for today bruh that fight was straight

Ass let’s just start heading towards our fourth class which is JROTC it should be pretty fun oh all right Donnie that class actually sounds fun let’s go hello everyone welcome to my JROTC class where I will teach you how to become a great Russian military officer my name

Is Mr Putin but you can also call me Vladimir guys why the hell are we being taught Russian military tactics instead of American I did not sign up for this nah this is good Joe we love Russia so I made sure to sign us up for the Russian military training program that they’re

Offering this year okay everyone so the first rule of being a Russian military officer is to avoid Heights I’m not sure what it is with Russian officers falling off of buildings but it seems to happen very commonly for some reason but with that being said let’s go

Outside so we can start our first classroom activity yo this class is pretty lit guys we actually get to go outside for once let’s go true Obama I hope our drill instructor lets us mess around the recruiter said the class was pretty class I hope we can get along great

I heard the class was pretty laid back so it should be pretty fun yeah Tucker I heard that as well the recruitment poster looked pretty sick so that’s why I signed up okay everybody for our first JROTC activity we’re going to practice our combat skills I have some AK-47s

That you guys can have for the rest of the year but please make sure to bring them back by the last day you all will use these to complete various special military operations wait I mean field trips that you will go on after basic training wait Mr Putin why the hell are

You giving us guns in a high school JROTC class I thought we’re supposed to be taught leadership not trench warfare well I’m not supposed to tell you guys this but we’ve been having a recruitment shortage in the Army so we figured we can just bait some dumbass high

Schoolers into signing our contract but anyway please take some grenades from the chest so we can practice our trench warfare skills for our upcoming special military operation bro it appears we up by signing that JROTC government contract I think we’re getting conscripted into battle right

Now or some shut up Obama this is just basic training we will go on the special military operation later in the year but anyway I’m gonna go have some vodka you guys are free to do whatever training you want until the next period there’s some grenades in the chest for

What the hell type of high school is this why are we getting conscripted into the army this is facts Joe there is no way I’m getting drafted into some stupid War but if we don’t do do it then we go to prison so I guess we should get to training wait guys let’s

Just dodge the draft and act like this never happened we go hide in the bathroom until our next class and never come back here great idea Donald let’s just become draft Dodgers your parents should have enough money to pay the government off to let us not go to war exactly Joe

Let’s get the hell out of here and wait it out until our next class I hope our teacher doesn’t come looking for us all right Donald but let’s keep these sweet AK-47s that our teacher gave us we can definitely make use of them for a heist OMG how dare you Traders desert the

Mighty Russian army I’m definitely going to snitch on you guys when our teacher gets back it’s your boy Ben Shapiro I’m gonna be your guys’s PE coach for this year yo Ben you look like a nerd how the hell are you even a PE teacher I could

Definitely take you on in a fight hey young man you better shut your dumb ass up I’m not gonna play games with you this year but anyway yo class make sure to have your parents sign this form saying that we’re not responsible if you die for some reason but other than that

I guess we can get started with PE stuff you do you guys want to skip this class and go smoke some weed or perhaps even some DMT I got some of that on me right now oh hell yeah bro you’re Donnie and Joe let’s go smoke some weed

In the storage shed all right Obama sounds good I’m gonna get lit AF we all know that Joe Rogan always got that top shelf type stuff y’all retards can go do whatever but I’m not going to get expelled like George Bush did last year in middle school so I’m going to stay

Here Joe Biden you’re a little but whatever yo Obama and Donald let’s go to the tool shed I got 29 joints of that 31 runts OG strain it’s straight fire hey all of you little shits better come back right now or you all are getting detention bro I hate my job

Hey Mr sins I had some calls of some Scallywags smoking some dank in the tool shed can you go take a look please yes chef Gordon you’re the assistant principal and Lead culinary instructor for the school so of course your favorite doctor teacher lawyer plumber policeman Johnny Sins can go take a look

For you well thank you dear we cannot have these Hooligans smoking the marijuana dank on our campus so please catch them and bring them to the disciplinary office at the front aye aye sir I’m gonna speed over there in my squad car code three I am not

Going to let them get away with smoking the marijuana unless they bribe me with money hi yo guys there’s Sirens right next to us we got a dip right now before the cops get here bro there’s no way One Way only I think we are screwed here

Nah just chill guys this private school is corrupt as so we’re good hey I smell the Dank purple kush here you all better open this door right now or I’m gonna shoot oh wait there’s a button hey all of you hands up right now especially you over there officer sins how many

Times do I gotta tell your dumb ass that you’re not gonna do anything just take this 100 and leave me alone bro now I up my rates this year so you’re gonna need at least 1K to bribe me so you all better start heading to the principal’s office

Well I guess we truly are screwed yo guys let’s move on out of here so we can go to the principal’s office Elmo sends you dumbass easy bait bro I’m dead we really just outplayed the school resource officer let’s get the hell out of here yeah Obama I’m gonna hop in my

Ford Ranger and drive back to my house you guys have a good one all right yo back to our house and plan our Heist All right Donald I already have the perfect idea that won’t get us caught let’s discuss this back at the house all right Donald come look at this I’ve written up a heist GTA style to steal the computer and camera equipment that is stored in the school library OMG

Obama this actually looks pretty legit not gonna lie can you give me a rundown of the plan okay so me and you are going to go inside the building while Elon can be our Lester and Joe can be the freeloader so first we need to scope out

The cameras tomorrow then we need to get ourselves a drone and Get Away Van when we start the robbery we’re going to have Elon use the Drone to provide air support then we insert team one into the school at three o’clock am in order to turn off the camera system after that we

Can enter the school library and start stealing the computers and but we can also try to access the school servers and mess with the Enemy Ops grades to an F if you all want to do that but anyway when we’re done taking the stuff both teams are going to help

Load it up but only Joe is going to drive it out of there while the rest of us split up and leave the area does this plan sound good to you if I’m being honest I have no idea what you just said but I trust you with not

Getting us arrested because of your skills so how much money in computer equipment does the school even have and is this even going to be worth it well our private school is pretty well funded so we’re probably looking at around a three to four million dollar take

Because of all of the overpriced Apple stuff that they got holy that’s like four times the small loan of a million dollars that my dad is going to give me when I’m older we definitely got to do this alrighty Donnie tomorrow we’re going to scope out the cameras so

Make sure to bring your smart glasses so we can take pics of the locations we’re also going to scope out the library and get a better estimate of what our take is going to be okay Obama I’m going to head back to my house and inform the

Rest of the guys of our plan I’ll see you tomorrow