The Presidents Return to an Alternate Universe…

I can’t wait to tell Elon of your latest felony counts Kim you’re one to talk Donald listen I just wanted the car I didn’t mean to vandalize the building or get Steve fired however I do appreciate you paying my bond and bailing me out Donald that’s what friends are for I

Kind of like to think of myself as the Bruce Wayne of our group intelligent handsome excellent at hand-to-hand combat also being able to solve whatever obstacles we may encounter with my Deep Pockets whenever the situation demands it come to think of it Trump Tower could be our headquarters if you guys really

Wanted to form our own Justice League oh that would be fantastic but I call dibs on being Martian Manhunter why would you be Martian Manhunter because first I am deathly afraid of fire also I just figured since Donny’s Batman you would be Superman Kim could be a Yellow Lantern and Barack

Would be cyborg why do I have to be cyborg why do I have to be a Yellow Lantern anyways we’ve been waiting here for quite a while anyone find it odd how Elon wasn’t out front to escort us in actually now to mention it none of the

Staff are at their posts something’s off Jesus can someone get this guy evaluated the hell was that maybe they’re just in the middle of renovating the hell kind of renovating has a siren blaring throughout the building guys I don’t think whatever’s happening is routine look at this are those Blaster marks

Golly those look like marks from a blaster Joe for Pete’s sake take your pills buddy we need your head on straight for this okay oh fine that cannot be good still think they’re just renovating Joey listen when Old Nana used to invite her friend Hennessey

Harold to our house oh so now you can think of names that begin with the letter H that would have been helpful when we were on Family Feud Joey guys cut it out something’s clearly amiss I can’t get Elon on the line either damn it Elon did say the Sovereign hierarchy

Was close to achieving interdimensional travel as well what if they got here before we did well looks like our mission objective is clear things are different now found their way s oil well hell let’s find the bastard then no one gets to destroy America but me let’s get rid of our civilian attire

And suit up it looks like the task of uncovering whatever’s going on here has fallen to us we gotta find Elon golly this is just like Saving Private Ryan take this seriously Joe if hostels gain access to elon’s jump engine then our nation know our world will be facing an unparalleled danger

The likes of which we have never before seen the fate of not only our universe but all realities are as of this second in grave Peril I fear we may be in the end game now gentlemen gosh I always wanted to say that oh man how the hell do we go

From Family Feud one week to saving the world the next only one explanation Barry this editor is on some LSD wait what not to be a pessimist but what happens if well Elon has croaked shall we say that’s an if-win and maybe situation Kim best not to dwell on it if

It comes to that we’ll figure it out then and there not now as for the time being we gotta locate what the hell was that Donnie my God they must have sent a Terminator disguised as Donald oh no Barack please don’t die on me buddy ah ouch it’s all

Right I’m fine the plate armor took the brunt of it look not even a scratch although I do feel like I just got tackled by a linebacker thank God I was afraid this would be a horror movie situation you know where the black guy always dies first wait Kim you’re hit

Look at your shoulder yeah looks like I should have worn that fancy plate armor Elon gave you guys it’s going to be difficult to use my sword now well what the hell do we do now the only thing to do Josephine we hunt down the infiltrator this pile of scrap Heap has

Been going around terrorizing our planet killing our citizens all the while wearing my face I intend to exact retribution well how the hell do we find it we split into two groups cover more ground no one goes alone your priorities are locating Elon and the Terminator if

It managed to take down most of the staff here chances are this unit is more resilient than the ones we encountered back on Sovereign hierarchy soil so our rifles May pose little challenge to its combat armor great my guess it’s a new model human living tissue on the

Exterior masking a hyper alloy combat chassis controlled by a microprocessor good thing you cosplayed is one of those things Donnie looks like that knowledge is coming into use my guests though like its predecessors it still has one weakness chocolate chip ice cream if so I can’t blame it I’m a sucker for frozen

Treats myself no joke Kim’s sword he saved my life when we were in that alternate reality by slicing one in half not entirely sure why but they seem increasingly susceptible to damage from the asteroid Metals in my blade when I cut through them it felt like I was

Cutting through air if you can get the jump on it Kim decapitate it otherwise radio in when you have Vision on it and will all converge on your location and if we find Elon first get him proper Medical Aid without him we can’t get the jump engine back online without it we’re

Susceptible to an invasion from a parallel universe oh [ __ ] this is madness well then what the [ __ ] are we waiting for let’s hunt down that futuristic toaster and be done with it Kim’s right gentlemen looks like we have a cyborg Chase on our hands before we

Get underway I need me a dirty sprite the hell Joe foreign And my facility was in lockdown where would I hide uh how about in plain sight guys look who I found well that was fast finally A Stroke of Luck Mr President you’re a sight for sore eyes Elon you’re hit what are you doing out here in the

Open I barricaded myself in my quarters but when I heard shooting going off I saw you guys by the north stairwell so I decided to meet you guys there but as you can see I’ve seen better days can you walk any further I used up my remaining strength to get here but it’s

Okay I’m all right thankfully it missed all my vital organs where’s Barack and Kim scouting out the southern quadrant of the floor our plan was to try and locate the fake Donald or you once we found you we’d escort you out of the building and get you Medical Aid it’s a

Miracle you guys came at all fate does have an odd way of piecing things together what do you mean Elon didn’t you call George I didn’t call him I was in the middle of investigating some strange anomalies on the jump engine when I finally pieced together what transpired Terminator attacked the facility

Wounding my staff and killing others wait if you didn’t call me Christ the Terminator mimicked his damn voice this was all a trap oh great first that lady working the McDonald’s drive-through wouldn’t let me order a Happy Meal because I was too old now this this day

Just keeps getting worse you don’t know the half of it also I’m in immense pain so if we could avoid the nonsensical rants for today Joe that would be great what do you mean by that well he’s clearly been shot George you silly diddle Joe please Elon what do you mean

We don’t know the half of it Mr presidents you all have been walking around with Targets on your backs haven’t you noticed the strange occurrences on your adventures since you came back I knew it I knew there was something strange about The Golden Girls not being a top answer on Family Feud

Last week the Kraken the yeti the Paranormal entity what about them Mr President they are not from here I knew that Yeti was from India no Joe as in they’re not from our planet they’re category one reality natives that were jumped to our universe by the clintons Terminator wait hold on you’re saying

The Terminator was in your facility using your terminals to jump hostiles from said category 1 realities into our own unfortunately yes so Steve Harvey was also a category one reality entity golly who could have guessed uh no Joe Steve’s from our world how the hell could you even let that happen Elon I

Thought this technology was on a need to know basis how did to just walk in here and do whatever it pleased because my staff thought it was you Donald Mr President you’re part of a limited few that know of Anderson and The Sovereign hierarchy that means you have security

Clearance any and all of our equipment is made readily available to you whenever the need should arise and that’s exactly what the Terminator took advantage of while I was out of the office it came in and tampered with the equipment I would have been able to tell the difference between the infiltration

Unit and yourself but my staff don’t know you as well as I do everywhere you went it would monitor your status listening to your comms and then jump in threats to your location it did its job without so much as a hindrance get Barack on the line we need to tell

Him this Barry come in no good I’m not getting a signal I think we’re being jammed Fantastic Mr presidents I’ll lock myself in one of the safe rooms you dismantle the infiltration unit however leave the CPU intact the microprocessor is on the left hemisphere of the parietal lobe yes I

Know how did you I cosplayed as one at an anime convention what do you plan on doing with the CPU I think he wants to take a peek at the terminator’s browser history George no he plans on reverse engineering it yes and perhaps it has

Data on it that will give us some more insight as to what the Sovereign hierarchy’s Mission objective was just sit tight Elon we’ll clean up this mess come on Joe Roger bidenator on the move this is awesome you know the Akatsuki always operate in Duos I feel like we’re

Itachi and Kisame Kim I think we kind of have some more pressing matters at the moment than anime references sorry just trying to make light of a bad situation it’s how I cope like Logan Paul you know he got a signed deal with the WWE that

Should have been me damn it you wanted to join the WWE hell yeah it was my dream ever since I was a child unfortunately though when my generals found out they told me they weren’t too fond of the idea of their supreme leader in underwear on National Television

Wrestling with other grown men uh okay I told them it wouldn’t be anything sexual but they’re so old school back home well all right then anyways getting back on track why do you think the clintons chose to send a Terminator wearing Donald’s face isn’t it obvious Baroque a

Terminator makes lots of noise when it walks because of how heavy it is Donald does too no one would suspect a thing you know that’s actually pretty sensible Kim Kim I need your help Donald hold on Buddy colossal Kim is on the way Donnie what the quiet the Terminator has the

Ability to modulate its voice your boys almost walked into a trap Jesus holy [ __ ] well it’s a good thing you found us calmly and slowly Kim lure it out and get ready to decapitate it uh my my Donald might I say you look quite skinny

In that plate armor damn it Kim we want to make it seem believable at least oh screw you Barack I should have just let the Terminator shoot you guys a second time look I’m just saying if he wants to play the part he should at least commit

To the role whatever although I do have to partly agree with Barry here Kim I don’t think robot Mead would fall or something like that deceptive protocol engaged wow you really think so Kim you were saying Donald well looks like we were wrong Donald oh come on real me would never

Fall for something so blatantly obvious I’ve been trying P90X recently and have been getting compliments everywhere and that’s how you can tell that’s the fake Donnie I hate you guys oh I bet why don’t you come out here and show me your washboard ass taking the bait isn’t it all right

I’ll strike a brief pose but then we gotta find the fake Donald well that’s Hook Line and Sinker all right get ready everyone light it up when it comes out so it’ll be stunned then Kim you go in for the kill you got it Donnie all right

Get ready it’s coming I’m gonna Banzai this [ __ ] wait hold on if it really is a one-to-one copy of Donald then Donny’s right it wouldn’t fall for such Jesus is everyone oh you have got to be kidding me what are you waiting for uh I’m getting tired of getting knocked

On my oh crap [ __ ] well what do we do now we have to ask questions that only the real Donald will know don’t worry guys I got this hey real Donald how do you feel about donuts oh Donuts delicious do you have one on you did you

Seriously think that would work Kim well I mean the damn Terminator wasn’t supposed to get excited too Kim this is an infiltration unit it’s designed to look and act like Donald every trait and quality that Donald has so too does this Terminator possess it is the mirror personification of our Donald it just

Fooled all of us we’ve precipitated the rise to our current predictions we’re going to have to go beyond general questions here no worries this will be a piece of cake prepare to be exposed to Chinese piece of spyware well that certainly sounds like something Donnie would say wait Donnie tagged it earlier

Just look at the one with burn marks on its breastplate yo look at my breastplate it’s spot clean the equipment Elon gave us works well maybe a bit too well we won’t be able to identify a physical difference between them the weight the Terminator Endoskeleton is much

Heavier than the average human male so is Donald [ __ ] you him shut the hell up Kim well has anyone seen Donald naked maybe he has a birthmark or something uh no definitely not damn it Donald you should have gone skinny dipping with me on that hiking trip I would rather be

Shot as would I I mean what if we do just randomly shoot one it’s a 50 50 shot we can’t base this on a whim we have to be absolutely certain come on it’s a much better chance than the multiple choice tests I had to take in

College I always guessed C and look at me I turned out fine you sure about that look what’s the worst that can happen we shoot the right Donald and we expose the Terminator we shoot the wrong Donald and we end world hunger hey fake Donald what

Do you say we form a momentary truce and kill Kim that sounds like a swell idea and I would happily agree to those terms however you are the fake Donald okay stow it everyone this is a question only the real Donald will know starting when we went to the Johnson Mansion what do

We see there a skinwalker what the Kim slice down the other one he’s the machine wait just hold on look I can prove that prove that every day what the hell how did the machine know how did it [ __ ] who knows how long it’s been here it must have accessed information on

Elon’s drives then how can we possibly tell them apart Donnie when we were playing Heroes of the Storm a few months ago what did I ask you to do when we were waiting for the game to start and the gates to open you asked me to dance on

Cho’gall and I said no because I was looking up because you’re my best friend Joe Nice job Joey wow good going Joe now that couldn’t have been something the machine knew we never briefed Elon about our gaming Adventures you really pulled me out of a pickle there buddy when you’re on your meds your mind is as sharp as Kim’s blade oh thanks pal you

Know this actually reminds me of the time uh guys what is that confounded confounded what the hell is that Donnie is that the Terminator no I have no idea what that is what are you are you an agent of The Sovereign hierarchy sovereign stop the hierarchy just like we stopped The Terminator Is we are infinite well if you’re not with the clintons then what are you how are you speaking through this machine Valerie wake up a song while jealousy the latter are tools corrupted Man I seriously missed the days when we were just going to amusement parks and playing Star Wars now we’re talking to a Bionicle You require correction Presence I still don’t understand help us comprehend what you are what your goals are Wearing salvation faces wait isn’t that what the spirit said when we were with Arnold you’re the same entity a category one reality native that was jumped in by this Terminator I think he just called you stupid George it called all of us stupid Joe well that’s not nice that’s impossible I’m pretty much a 12th level intellect like Lex Luthor whatever this thing is it’s just using an intimidation tactic intimidation a basic tool In the action the absolute true power there is no there’s noose no threat consider it a parting gift for the novelty of this exchange has lost its luster our rival is not been with it when the Harvest Harvest you will resist when you do It’s offline it’s gone holy crap what was all that whatever’s going on here it’s much bigger than what we initially anticipated oh man just wait till we tell Arnie about this he’s going to have his mind blown well he’ll have to wait in line first order of business is

Getting any wounded Personnel here Medical Aid then we got to notify Elon of this new information and repair the jump drive looks like we have our work cut out for us we better not waste any time then sooner we find out what’s on this Terminator CPU the better Mr presidents thank you for coming back on such short notice there’s no worry Elon we don’t have much to do nowadays anyways aside from mischievous Adventures and filming Minecraft videos well I must say that is a bit concerning considering that two of you in here are current heads of Nations how are you

Feeling Elon physically I’m fine still a little stiff but nothing debilitating George how have you been we haven’t seen you on the weekends as much Hey Barry yeah I’ve just been here in my off time doing whatever I can to help Elon I haven’t been able to sleep every time I

Put my head down my mind just races and I keep thinking about the entity yeah what it was saying was pretty unnerving can’t blame you for not being able to sleep fortunately with George working around the clock with the heads of our engineering departments we’ve made significant Headway the jump engine the

Infiltration unit sabotaged is partially operational again but we’ve uncovered information about The Entity that is disturbing [ __ ] this just never ends does it well what is it our initial assumption that it was a category one reality entity was incorrect whatever this thing is it thrives in a

Realm that transcends our own take a look at this what are we looking at a map displaying all realities and all parallel universes that we have discovered goodness this looks more convoluted than the Path of Exile talent tree on this map you’ll find all realities that Elon and his team have

Surveyed and or traveled to category six through one realities Sovereign hierarchy soil the list goes on okay and where does The Entity play into all this when beings jump to a different reality this process of interdimensional travel leaves behind a signature for example since you jumped to Sovereign hierarchy

Soil we would pick up your signatures there and also in our own reality in multiple realities we have identified a signature that matches that of the entity from the crying alley and from the Terminator CPU after Kim decapitated it I don’t understand the signature from the terminator’s CPU changed after Kim

Decapitated it think of it like this the Terminator had its own signature which we will term signature a however when the entity began speaking the signature changed dramatically into signature B The Entity somehow assumed control of the Terminator and by doing so it left behind its Mark We Believe

The Entity is somehow influencing and making contact with beings in different realities without actually physically jumping there how the hell is that possible we don’t know what we do know is this all of these highlighted frames represent realities that possess traces of the entity’s signature hold on the

Entity has visited all of these realities already it either visited them or influenced the inhabitants in one way or another we are not the first reality to have encountered this thing these signatures predate the entity’s visit even to the Sovereign hierarchies Universe what do you mean by influence

Like through Tick Tock or something great we’re dealing with an only Fan’s Eldritch entity stow it we’re wasting precious time even discussing this right now we believe whatever this being is it has the ability to turn people on each other perhaps by enhancing their worst traits

In order to manipulate them and to get them to weaken their defenses making it easier for the entity to harvest them as it said previously before we send our teams out to these realities we first survey them by jumping drones through them in most of the realities the Drone

Saw nothing nothing but a Blood Red Sky and ruins remnants of civilization somehow destroyed through various doomsday events that leave behind nothing but dust this was what we saw in every reality but two oh man I have a bad feeling about where this is going as

You should in one of the two realities our drones were unable to acquire visual footage but we did hear the denizens and what did you hear death war in fighting liberal America everybody we also were able to identify a name ushered over and over by some individuals who sounded

Like they were on the precipice of going mad sorry The Entity we assume so and what did you find in the other reality our drones were able to capture two images before going offline the first image is what looks like a tear in the fabric of reality a massive portal perhaps

Connecting these realities to the plain Sovereign derives from this is the second image what the [ __ ] oh my God what Jesus that’s Sovereign our hypothesis is that Sovereign begins influencing people in a certain reality causing them to turn on one another once there is a dominant ruling force on

The planet operating under sovereign’s leadership Sovereign guides them into constructing massive portals or way Gates which will usher in its coming so it just kills everyone when it arrives we have no idea all we know is that once it appears life itself vanishes not even a trace of

Simple prokaryotic life can be found this evidence is further supported in the terminator’s CPU what do you mean through decrypting its archived data we were able to access information that informed us that Sovereign had a guiding hand in the construction of the Clinton’s jump drive Sovereign gave them

Insight on how to enhance it enhance it how ever wonder how The Terminator got here elon’s drive destabilizes the molecular Integrity of metal objects upon initially jumping the Terminator never would have been able to use elon’s drive to jump to other dimensions Sovereign came into being regardless it told the clintons how to

Construct a jump drive that is even more efficient than elon’s most likely by using the vast knowledge that it has been exposed to over the eons that it has been harvesting no offense by the way Elon [ __ ] Eldritch entities cornering the interdimensional jump Market anyways getting back on track additional information we accessed

Through the infiltration unit CPU also confirmed that the hierarchy in the clintons are already in the process of constructing the way Gates wait so when we went there last time yes they had already begun constructing the way Gates by that point [ __ ] we’re all screwed so why did the hierarchy send a Terminator

Here then that one at least is simple to eliminate you they don’t want us interfering with the construction of the way gates after they saw that we had the capability of entering their reality so why did they choose me as the face of the infiltration unit uh well it looks

Like Kim was right Donald according to the decrypted files they chose you because you were closest to matching the Terminator Endoskeleton in terms of weight [ __ ] you guys I told you I’m bulking C told you Barack actually you were a potential candidate too Kim the files say Mr Chang was an

Alternative option but they figured the Terminator would have a higher rate of success imitating Donald [ __ ] sakes fat ass guys we are dealing with an incalculable malevolent force that threatens not only us but the existence of every being in every reality as you all saw it’s already here first at the

Crying alley and second when it made contact through the infiltration unit so what the hell do we do well that was the bad news now I think it’s time to share the good news what that this is all a female the realities that Sovereign has harvested the strength of its signature

Is off the charts it seems as though the more influence it holds over a reality or the closer it is to conquering it the more Amplified its mark on that reality becomes so what does that mean well in our reality Sovereign signature is weak nothing more than a tiny blip in The

Sovereign hierarchy’s reality however the signature is strong very strong they won’t last much longer without our help and once Sovereign is done with them will be next Jesus we have no time to spare Mr presidents the drive has been partially repaired but acquiring this information took its toll jumping

In all of the drones to these realities have taxed an already damaged jump drive I can jump you to Anderson’s reality and back but it isn’t stable enough to power any more jumps outside of that meaning you won’t have backup we never needed it Elon says you Donald I’m tired of

Getting shot and knocked on my ass I sent a drone to Anderson’s reality and established contact with him in your counterparts a few days ago all of them are caught up to speed with the threat at hand and they expect your arrival then there’s no time to waste get ready

To make the jump Elon [ __ ] oh [ __ ] guys are we really doing this how do we possibly plan on stopping this thing Joe when we entered office we took on the responsibility of leading our nation for the betterment of its citizens some may disagree with our legislation Others May

Receive us with contempt but we knew we were signing on to do right by the American people to the best of our capabilities even if it meant damaging our image even if it came at the cost of displaying our shortcomings and inadequacies for all the world to see

Now we must do what’s best not only for our people but for all peoples everywhere regardless of their place of origin and if we fail then at least we can meet that failure head on knowing that even if sovereign’s victory was inevitable we still gave that bastard hell hell of a

Speech George you got Drake’s Ghostwriter to conjure that up for you shut up Donnie I hope Sovereign harvests you first you’re right George make the damn jump Elon will make the clintons pay for dismantling Sizzlers the best restaurant chain to have ever graced the face of humanity I don’t think Joe got

The memo but at least he’s on board now great now everyone’s going to call me a Panda Express manager again wish us luck Elon good luck Mr presidents I’m counting on you we all are foreign Foreign