The Secrets of Minecraft: How We’re Making the Warden

♫ [MARILLA] Secrets! We all have them. Like how  I secretly can access every computer in the world.   That’s right. I know what you have open in your  other tabs. Like and subscribe to the channel,   and maybe I’ll only reveal Minecraft’s secrets  in this episode. Greetings! My name is Narrator.  

My contract to do this show ended in 2021… Oh  no. And I’m Marilla. My New Year’s resolution   is to only host shows about games I respect. In  2023. Shhh. Keep it down. *It* will hear us. Jens? The Warden! We need to keep quiet  so we don’t attract The Warden!

[Terrifying sounds] Allow me to introduce you to Minecraft’s  most horrific feature yet.   The combat! The Warden. [Wilhelm Scream] [MARILLA] Cute! [NARRATOR] Now we’re talking about an upcoming feature, so keep in  mind that The Warden may change before  the final release. Perhaps into this… [Old-timey music]

[MARILLA] The sculk sensor detects vibrations and  gives away your presence to The Warden.   What a six-sided snitch! You have to be extra quiet, and try not to do things like this. [Loud beeping] Huh. I don’t remember that happening. It’s footage of your future. Oh. … Just like my haircut,

The sculk went through a lot of variations before we  landed on perfection. At one point we considered a rust-like material, steadily corrupting its surroundings. Also like your haircut?   You’re just lashing out because you’re jealous.  Here’s another fun idea! Making them out of bones.   [MARILLA] What age rating is Minecraft again?

[NARRATOR] According to  this developer, 90 and up. Anyway, here’s a few other designs we considered during one of our many goth phases. [MARILLA] They can design all these but they can’t design me *one* haircut? [NARRATOR] Marilla, Caves and Cliffs took long enough as it is.   This block was actually inspired by trypophobia. 

Trypophobia is a condition where someone has a fear of clusters of small holes. [MARILLA] Isn’t that one of your fears? [NARRATOR] Which reminds me: [Screams] Naming someone isn’t easy, just ask my  parents. [MARILLA] Eventually we chose The Warden.  

We’re not allowed to tell you why yet, so  instead we’re going to have a guess. Perhaps it’s called The Warden because they meant to call  it “William” and spelt it wong? [Gasps] That *must* be it! While William settles down, let’s leak  some of their early designs. They’re mildly  irreversibly traumatizing,

So to take the edge off we’ve stuck some jaunty music over them. [Jaunty Music] As you can see and hear, it doesn’t help at all.   [MARILLA] That’s the music that’s playing in my head 24/7  anyway. [NARRATOR] And that explains everything. Finding the balance between sweet and sinister

Was one of the greatest challenges of designing this nightmare. A balance this show never figured out! And never will. Now you might be worried that the  constant presence of The Warden   is going to make Minecraft about as fun to  play as a guitar made of mossy cobblestone.  

So allow us to reassure you, for the first and  last time ever, you never have to encounter The Warden if you don’t want to. We’re keeping  it native to the new Deep Dark biome.   We don’t want to force players to engage with  stealth systems they’re not interested in.

That’s why you’ll never catch me in the Deep Dark.  But …that’s where we record the show. What? [MARILLA] Oh wait, no! We record my scenes in the land of bunnies and hugs.   We just record yours in the Deep Dark. Tax  reasons, you know how it is.

The Warden is the first ever mob with a sense of smell. Really? Where’s its nose? Where’s your nose?    Where’s *your* nose? Touché. It also has what appears  to be souls in its chest. Where’s your soul?

The reason we gave it a sense of smell was to  stop you simply being able to wait The Warden out.   It doesn’t matter what you’re  carrying, or what you smell like,   The Warden is still going to find you eventually  if you’re foolish enough to stick around in the  

Deep Dark. Try not to host a Minecraft YouTube  series down there if you can help it. [Increasingly terrifying sounds off-camera] Anyway… haha, that’s all we’ve got time for. Love you, bye! [MARILLA] Best of luck. [Panicked breathing, terrifying noises] [Whimpering] ♫ Please don’t let this be, my admittedly deserved fate.

♫At least not before I take credit,  ♫for the Wi-illd Up-daaaate.