US Presidents Minecraft Xmas Showdown!

Merry Christmas boneheads I installed about five Christmas mods so that we can get in the spirit of Christmas while playing Minecraft and I decorated all your houses last night what in the tarnation oh my God Donald did you really have to fill my house with candy canes I brought the candy

Canes to liven up your house and to add a touch of sweetness to your dull existence bro I can’t even move in my house suck it up buttercup suck these nuts Who dude you must have gotten the Obama a curse wait what the so you kidding me why is my

House covered in icicles I thought it would symbolize how cold-hearted your old stupid ass is God damn it it’s bad enough there’s still a bunch of cakes now there’s icicles everywhere and uh Donald for some reason decided to fill my house with a bunch of snowmen

It’s lowkey creepy to be honest do the snowmen look like Joe cuz that would be a creepy sight to see shut the up you Texan butt wipe check outside Barrack I’m sure you’ll love what you see oh great what now oh Jesus Christ you Donald what stupid

Christmas thing did he do to your base he built a bunch of penises out of candy canes but you love that sort of thing I literally have a wife that has a penis oh my God you bozos are really good at pissing me the off come on guys it’s Christmas time how

About we chill on the insults for once says the one making it too hard to afford a toothpick for Christmas who would want a toothpick for Christmas that’s a lame ass present okay good I finally got rid of all the candy canes I worked so hard to

Put all of them in your house and now you just get rid of them yes and how about you get rid of a few pounds for a change no what the is this stupid wreaths oh my God you actually put Christmas lights around my entire house

Donald well I wasn’t going to just do half oh great it’s snowing in my farm well why didn’t you put a roof on it cuz I’ve been busy with other like the whole Twilight Forest race thing with Barry and the cow farm for the Texas Roadhouse and then those weird white

Cubes sending diplomatic letters to me which I’m surprised I haven’t seen them in a while considering they said they were attacking me for some reason but you’re George dubia Bush they will surely Attack under your watch oh hey a cute little Elf ooh candy cane let’s go I’m wearing the full Santa Set how ironic seeings how you’re as bigest Santa too bad you can never grow a beard too bad you can never grow a set of dingleberries speaking of dingleberries it sure sounds like Berry is a salty as Michelle’s dingleberries

Of course I’m salty I’m still chopping down these peppermint penises for sake whoa this Christmas pet gives gifts I got a crafted good for you sleepy Joe hopefully it will give you a proper piece of charcoal ooh speaking of charcoal I think I’ll throw a nice juicy

Steak on the charcoal grill Texan style for Christmas dinner who the eats steak for Christmas most people eat turkey or ham just make sure to not put ketchup on your steak don’t knock it till you try it I did try it and it tasted like maybe your tongue was

Just numb to tasting anything that isn’t pudding or ice cream well anyway since it’s Christmas time I think I’m going to build a snowman out of all the mods we have installed that’s the thing you choose to do yeah oh get away from me you evil bottle of

Pepper these are so God dang annoying wait what the what in the cow kicking hell is happening holy ball sacks oh yeah sorry the server must have Frozen for a second probably CU we have so many mods installed it would take Joe 3 years to count to the amount

Of mods we have I can count watch 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 I mean uh8 and then 10 and 11 on um 12 and 13 14 15 6 17 19 20 and uh uh I crapped my pants Joe you don’t have to announce to us

That you crapped your pants literally no one wants to hear it yeah sleepy Joe we already know you crap your pants on The Daily tell us something new for once if you’re looking for something new how about I introduce you to the concept of diplomacy oh okay Joe I’m all ears um

Well it’s about diplomats and uh the skill to manage um the art of dealing with things and other stuff I’m going give that a four out of 10 for explanations Jill must be working overtime on that teleprompter in your room the is this strange black smoke what it just randomly

Dissolved we come in peace huh we are Alliance oh those white cubes are back let’s go I crafted the Christmas pet thing no one gives a Joe looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed made out of salt wait what the is that out

There I think the elf’s dad is mad at me for killing the elf why the did you kill an elf cuz I wanted to know what it would drop good thing I have this un crafter cuz I can turn these iron bars into iron ingots so that I can craft a

Sleigh a sleigh there’s slays in the game yeah what did you think was added to the server when I said I installed five Christmas themed mods knowing you a Santa Claus shooting lasers maybe a Rudolph with a jetpack or a giant wall made out of fruit cake ooh

Those are some good ass ideas oh for sake let’s go I got a present whoa a soulage sword oh my God this sword is op what’s the attack damage 17 damn did that do anything oh there they are Ranger DCI okay what the is blowing up oh it’s that weird smoke again

Okay yeah I don’t think I’m a big fan of those creepy sounds the white cubes make is it Michelle creepy or Joe Biden creepy uh well you see nothing’s ever going to be as creepy as Joe Sniff and Biden the you talking about you sniff strangers and your son sniff sugar

Shut up butt face oh these giant elves are everywhere oh God there’s another one holy crap this sleigh goes fast as how fast I don’t no there isn’t like a specific way to track the speed of something in Minecraft why don’t you use those uh speed things the cops use cuz

There aren’t speedometers in the game nearly 400 mods installed and there isn’t a speedometer dude why the would we need a speedometer out of all things so that we could know how fast your sleigh is going to crash into the ground with all that weight you got

My sleigh is not in the sky you then what the kind of sleigh you riding one that’s not surrounded by classified documents like your Corvette wait there’s Corvettes in the game Jesus Christ I’m done with this conversation not sure if you can count that as a conversation more like the

Same nonsensical conversations we seemingly always have on this damn server why don’t we talk about our Christmas plans huh well like I said I’ll be enjoying a good old Texan Style Christmas grilling some juicy steaks my Christmas plan’s going to be huge I’ll be hosting some luxurious Christmas parties goldplated ornaments on the

Trees and ordering some burgers from the two golden arches I plan to spend quality time with my family and maybe blow up some never mind and I’m going to um should I forget what I was supposed to do for Christmas sounds like your Christmas plans are as forgettable as

Your speeches don’t worry though I’ll give you a little reminder step one put on your favorite pair of pajamas step two sit by the fireplace and wait for your ugly wife to come over and wipe your shitty ass and step three hire someone to whisper in your ear what you

Are supposed to say on Christmas yeah I don’t think I’m going to remember all that let’s go go I finally made a snowman holy butt fungus I didn’t know you could remove the pumpkin from the Snowman that’s so cursed what the hell why is there a Boss

Bar holy testicles there’s an evil Santa and for some reason his name is in Spanish oh crap I fell in a hole I got to get out of here before that evil Santa gets to me come on come on come on wait where the is he oh he fell

In the lake too maybe now I can kill him okay hopefully that’s enough iron enough iron for what oh just for a little Christmas present I’m working on oh yeah get in there you stupid Cyclops I’m trying to kill Santa here why are you trying to kill

Santa isn’t that like a very Unholy thing to do for Christmas get off your high horse Tex and boy it’s just a stupid block game and besides this is an evil Santa he’s got red eyes and was chasing after after me that’s one sick Santa to be chasing you or

Maybe he just doesn’t have a nose and can’t smell the shitty odors emanating from you I don’t smell that bad I’m pretty sure my butt’s been wiped come on die you stupid fat jolly let’s go now what the hell did he drop oh my God he dropped a neite sword I’m

Rich didn’t you just say you got a sword that has 17 attack damage like 10 minutes ago yeah what of it so then why are you excited about a puny neite sword that only has eight attack damage when you already got one that’s more powerful

How did you know that cuz you told me yeah I know but how did you know how much attack damage the netherite sword is oh my God Joe you dumb son of a it’s common knowledge everyone knows the attack damage of vanilla swords yeah well uh it’s Christmas time so will you

Maybe quit insulting my knowledge for a change okay Joe whatever this conversation is going nowhere anyway so just forget it I already did Hot Diggity Dogs y’all about to make me shove candy canes in my ears from your stupid discussions today it’s Christmas time for God’s sake it’s not the time to say

The same over and over it’s not my fault Joe didn’t realize a neite sword is less powerful than one that has 17 attack damage I don’t give a you big eared scallywag y’all got to stop the repetitive arguments it’s making me go Bonkers Joe’s the one that has gone bunkers pretty sure he

Was born that way you baric it’s great to know I’m being listened to waa these ice skates make me go super fast on the ice well that is kind of what ice skates are for what you laughing about your mama hey guys come to the coordinates 1225

And 2023 I got some presents for you and sorry Joe I know it would be a nice gift for you but I’m not dropping out dropping out of what a plane why would you be playing Minecraft in a plane I’m so confused Donald all

Right I’m on my way to those cords I actually got my own gift to George is it a photo of Michelle pregnant no oh hey there’s a present in this chest holy no way I legit just got a nether star from that present there’s so much I can do

With that good for you now go to the cords yeah yeah I’m coming I’m coming gross you didn’t need to tell us that Berry hey wait a minute where’s the mini map and why do my hearts look different stop breaking the fourth wall anyways hope you guys like your

Customized trees oh an ice cream tree Cole why did I get coal you’ve been a very bad president sleepy Joe Yeehaw a steak tree ooh and there’s a steak in this present really Donald that’s messed up no pretty accurate actually now why don’t you guys go in that Christmas

Themed house I built there’s a chest filled with Christmas cookies okay fat orange oh that’s a lot of Christmas cookies sugar cookie man oh I know baric is going to love eating that one shut the up Joe have fun with that guys oh a bunch of snowmen you better watch out

Cuz Obama might try to suck that snowy oh my gosh you’re so immature Joe Donald why the did you spawn a bunch of a snowman this is more annoying than a stubborn bull it’s just a Christmas prank bro this is so annoying let’s go we made it out boys oh

all the snowmen are after me but this ain’t my first snowy Rodeo since when does it snow in Texas it definitely snows in Texas when Hunter visits he’s always sniffing that stuff real hard I don’t get it ha you can’t get me from up here you damn snowy Scoundrels so how

Did you guys like the presents I like the ice cream but found the coal insulting that was the point jackass speaking of presence I got to give you this George a block of netherite oh really wait a damn second this isn’t what netherite looks like I mean hey a

Deal is a deal George you said if you beat all the Twilight Forest bosses first I would have had to give you a block of neite an item is in fact called a block of netherite oh you okay well guys it was fun playing Minecraft with a bunch of shitty

Christmas mods but I got to get going uh take a nap and open some packages with the help of my wife because I can’t open them myself so Merry Christmas yeah Merry Christmas Joe good luck with all the coal Santa has giving you and good luck with being fatter than Santa Himself