WARDEN FREAKS OUT at my Dark Secrets! EPIC Let’s Play!

Please tell me I have torches oh I can’t see anything oh my God how am I supposed to find the entrance to this place I need to hide right now oh my God okay what what oh so guys I’m about three updates behind I feel like an elderly person

Trying to figure out a cell phone bro was trying to give himself a homemade vasectomy that’s okay but I heard that there’s pink trees now there’s the deep dark which doesn’t mean much to me cuz as a black man myself oh hey I’m not scared of nothing I don’t

Think the Wen is ready for the knuckle sandwich I’m going to why is there floating houses I’m going to desecrate the Wen anus all right everybody single file line out we’ll do this same time next week so I think we got to hit a cave and

Explore this cave is worthless so guys I almost got kidnapped last year and I mean I wouldn’t blame him cuz I mean look at me so at this point in time I was looking for someone to have a little bit of fun with so I was on Tinder I

Think you can see where this is going but you don’t I start a conversation with somebody I get ghosted I make date plans with somebody ghosted I wonder who knocked the glass off my desk in the middle of the night when I’m trying to sleep ghosted and in my state of

Disappointment a few of my friends invited me to the mall and we’re having a good time going shopping and waiting for my friends to get out of the store that they’re in I 30 ft away a man with a teardrop tattoo and shades looking directly at me he then I kid you not

Walks toward he then walks up to me sits directly next to me ass to ass like a bad heick and says nothing he scooches a little bit closer and I just get up and walk away his eyes followed me the entire way so my friend said okay let’s

Go get something to eat and we went to a vegan restaurant it was 100% vegan which looking back on it is actually the scariest part of this entire story and I got to be honest I am on edge we are now 15 minutes away from the mall and I

Still think that this dude is following me I didn’t tell anybody I was scared but my buddy leans over and he goes what if they were plotting on us and now I’m scared I see a group of Mexicans and a doctor sitting at the same table and I’m

Like oh my God they’re here to kidnap us I couldn’t eat my vegan french fries I wanted to puke so I finally hit the road I’m watching traffic around me I’m reading license plates I am horrified I finally get back to my house and I

Walked to the end of my driveway and I just stand there and I stood there for about 15 minutes just watching and all of a sudden this black vehicle black tint rolls into the neighborhood I couldn’t move I was so scared the vehicle approaches rolls down the window

Waves at me and turns into my neighbor’s driveway I let out the biggest sigh ever and I said damn it not even the mall guy wanted to [ __ ] me ghosted so I found some of this Blue Goop goop this is where I die again ladies and Gentlemen let’s get goopy let’s get

Stupid okay so I’m really on edge right now I have no idea about anything about this update why is their hair uh floating over there what was that what is that thing I’m so on edge right now oh no can I break These I hate this I hate this so much I’ve got an angel and a devil on my shoulder right now one of them is saying go back and get supplies to do this and the other was saying raw Dogg it and I don’t like protection I’m about to hit

It it spreads oh God I should have used prote I knew I should have went and got protection okay so I’m kind of confused on the mechanics here is that is that a streer that answered my question okay oh no oh I’m so oh no I can’t see anything

I feel like my eyes are closed so this m shaft I have never felt more safe in compared to this Blue Goop This Is The Stuff of nightmares and I just found diamonds that’s a freestyle all right so after digging through this entire cave I have found that this is pretty much the

Whole area so so we’re going to take our diamonds to safety and find another cave I just got reminded of something one of my my best friends got scammed by a porn bot I was more disappointed than sympathetic long story long he was on a dating app and the woman that he was

Talking to for 2 days asked him for a spicy picture to which he responded insert pick the level of hesitation was respectable it took 5 minutes to get a response from her that says you need to Venom me $1,000 or I will send this to your entire family he just responds send

It and and I said what let let me look at that and after I took a look I said okay you can put your pants back on and then we never heard from her again now I’ve heard of people actually getting screwed over by this scam and I wanted

To run into it myself so I looked in the most devious places on Facebook I needed something with family members involved and I got lucky enough to find a scammer I intrigued the bot I now have the bot’s attention and a picture of a big black

On standby so I messaged her and I said I bet you like freaky men she goes how did you know I started a stopwatch 2 minutes 18 seconds later I got a request for a dick pick and oh I had one I had to upgrade to the 13 Pro Max for it to

Fit on my [ __ ] screen and I said you want to see this and she said how’d you know so I sent it through and immediately as if it was copy and pasted a note saying you need to send $500 to this PayPal or we will send this to your

Family I was immediately offended how am I only half the price of I responded I’m kind of tight on money right now I don’t know if I can anyhow about 2 hours later a distant family member messages me on Facebook he asks is this you with a picture of a big

My ego has never been this boosted in my entire life I go how’d you know I completely forgot that we found diamonds so I’m going to ask my Discord what I should freestyle about and I’m going to try and keep up good God there’s more eggs here than an ovulation

Cycle P sold me e somebody cooked Ain’t No Easy B I got push me some keys like a run valet rers go up we laging DEC I got a two co gun on my head look at like [ __ ] what is my name she dancing my ain’t no ball and I’m my mama that

Product so what the [ __ ] I try to piss and come out his blood ain’t talking crippers at time of the mon I ain’t getting pregnant and I don’t I’m me son I ain’t paying child support ain’t got me the fun this a wrong gender when a

Hell that I switch up and if I’m being honest I ain’t even doing nothing I’ve been sling off your boy depressed ISM what the [ __ ] steps is get about my laundry why the clothes where I ran around laundry machine wait no I didn’t why was this happening I’m in disbelief

I have an interv three I don’t know if that was hard or like fun like what was that what the [ __ ] so I need Phantom membranes but in order to get those I need to not sleep for 3 days and become delusional so in the meantime I only have one achievement

Left to get in the Overworld and I might be too stupid to get It excuse me oh we’re going to have some problems open the door I said I will take your villager [ __ ] you don’t even know what that’s right walk along what the hell was he protecting now he’s just the water I forgot I trapped all these civilians under the Earth all right the

Moon is rising and I’m a Scorpio that means trouble is on the way all right follow me my friend follow me no I need me this zombie come here wait get this guy get this guy no he’s right there get him sorry dude this has to happen get out of there go ahead

All right you know what all of you come here get in this house uh-oh all right you come with me we’re going to have to make some sacrifices today there we go yeah get in here eat some people dude are you going to get somebody or what

No no all right so he just killed a bunch of my people I deserved everything I had coming to me there it takes a real man to admit defeat and it started raining as soon as I started saying I kind of forget how big this stupid thing

Is it just keeps phasing in that’s right come back fight me on my home turf what do you know about a good battle you forget I’m a pro shot that’s what I’m looking for baby how many potions can we make with one Phantom membrane I’m just now realizing that’s

Not how you make the potion but I do need you to help me fix my elytra it’s happening we need Rockets we need potions we need brown wool and now we’re ready to find a deep dark city and now we’re ready to find a deep

Dark I’m just going to go until I find something I’ve never seen before we’re starting to get into Uncharted Territory ladies and gentlemen yes good thing I brought this hand handy dandy Anvil with me this looting sword might have been the luckiest thing I could find because uh my elyra was pretty much

Dead oh my God what a fine for a village what the hell is this terrain look at this what what even this is this is something out of a fever dream whoa who built a house up here oh my god oh look what I found I’m

Cutting this entire tree down I need to take this home with me now we’re talking look at this let’s go check out that cave cue the adventure and play with yourself through your jeans music I’ve got a good feeling about this place I see some mountains over there

Where’s my [ __ ] Anvil when did I throw my Anvil down good thing I brought this handy dandy Anvil with me give me your iron I have a deficiency come on you guys have to have an anvil somewhere are you guys from the Stone Age I should be able to walk into

Any of y’all’s cribs and play Mario Kart 64 oh that looks omous this river is literally delivering me creepers all right now is where I start digging down oh I found it and Diamond today is probably going to turn into my unlucky day all right we’re off to an interesting start here

Ah it’s looking pretty damn open in here I think I found the Fortress all right so I can see diamonds on the ceiling oh yeah we’re definitely here look at oh my God this is crazy oh I see a chest up there I got to go get that oh there’s a

Shrier rap by it though I found diamonds on the floor all right I need a view of what I’m looking at here all right I want to land where that chest is no Swift sneak that’s what I’m talking about baby Diamond horse armor oh yeah yeah it’s so much creepier in the

Dark was I supposed to put it on my pants I fre it off so I just fell right next to that streer I got so lucky I’m not very bright Whoa I found another chest I’ve made it up wa what uh-oh that does not sound good oh this wen’s right [ __ ] there okay hold on hold on you can’t smell nothing brother I showered today get my fireworks ready just in case oh my God I didn’t think he was going to come up

That quickly my potion doesn’t work right now I’m so [ __ ] I’m so I’m in the worst possible spot right now but on the bright side I got a DVD oh [ __ ] not super you experience kinetic energy will try all right I have a handful of things

To help me get back over there and it’s literally just torches so lesson learned do not open chest anywhere damn it all right I think I just got to Run oh wait the lights are back on okay so that’s where I’m at okay where did I die at where’s my stuff where’s my stuff where’s my stuff oh I found my stuff I found my stuff that’s all that matters that’s all I care about [ __ ] it despawned in front of my

Goddamn face you [ __ ] kidding me God damn it no honestly this could be worse I got a music disc I got a mending book actually never mind I lost mying elytra and I’m 10,000 blocks no but on the bright side Diamond so problem is I got to make it back do I

Dare risk this chest I don’t see anything around it do I risk this is this I don’t see anything but that doesn’t mean anything we’re just going to break it Golden Apple no we need to move now Run please tell me I have torches oh I can’t see

Anything oh my God how am I supposed to find the entrance to this place I need to hide right now oh my God okay what what oh he knows where I’m at oh no eat the apple eat the apple I can feel him breathing down my back my back

Hairs is jiggling I’m so scared please leave me alone I don’t mind being ghosted anymore oh my God my heart is founding dude I just want to get back with my stuff this was all for some fing candles I think if we go up these stairs and we

Take a right we should be able to get back to the chest oh my God the regular world looks so [ __ ] beautiful okay I don’t know what side I’m on I’m on the wrong side this is where I dug up the diamonds I was getting way

Too cocky for a minute there bro I am not doing that again oh I found the entrance all right bad news is we are completely out of food except for this good news is I don’t care I just need to get out of this cave on a waterfall I’m climbing it

Oh it’s beautiful the above ground oh my God I never thought I would appreciate it so much I’m going to cry I’m going to cry I might actually cry you know what cross that out I am crying oh my God yes now for a 9,000 block walk home I never

Cease to amaze myself with how bad my luck is in this game actually it is every episode I record something horrific happens so while I walk 8,000 blocks back home I’m going to to tell you guys how I almost died it was not a lemon and noose this time so I had just

Gotten off of an 11-hour shift it was night time and I am so tired the only thing I want to do is what are you guys doing when I’m not around huh anyhow the second that I put the keys in the ignition I’m off and the second that I

Hit the highway a man in his 30 speeds up to me flashing me from behind with his brights he pulls up to the side of me looks at me through my window and does the Cutthroat signal and then speeds off and pretty much immediately I’m like okay I’m going to call my mom

Tell her I love her this is my last day on Earth so I’m starting to feel a little anxious I take the next exit and as soon as I land back on the highway again a different car had to be a man in his 40s speeds up to me throws his

Flashes on he then does the same exact thing as the last guy and pulls to the side and gives me the Cutthroat sign and then speeds off my heart sank to my lower intestine I call my grandparents I say I love you I am not making it home

Tonight why is the snow consuming me but guys now I’m on edge I’m thinking somebody’s after me this is an organized event so just in case somebody was chasing me I decided to miss my exit purposefully as soon as I get into town a white minivan starts flashing their

Brights at me and I can’t even make this up the owner of the vehicle pulls off to the side of me and gives me the Cutthroat I [ __ ] my pants that confirmed my worst fear they were after me I pull off into a neighborhood and I just start whipping through the neighborhood at

Full speed I am going going 60 M an hour through residential neighborhoods and I finally make my way back to where I was originally supposed to turn off and right before I turn into this 5m straight that leads me back to my house somebody flashes me from behind I call

The police I say it’s the cartel I am so out of it that I floor my gas pedal onto this 5 m straight I Peak at 115 M an hour my mind is racing I’m thinking what did this black man Hispanic man and white mom of three all want to do with

Me here I’m freaking out this cartel member is too smart the orientation makes no sense after turning a 7-minute drive into a 2-minute drive I pull into my driveway immediately get out of my car I run and find a place to hide I sit there and wait for 10 minutes to see if

Anybody suspicious Drives By all of my senses are a lot more aware than usual I take a big inhale as I realize nobody’s there and it smells like gas I realized that I left my car running I slow slowly turn around and you would not believe

What I saw my headlights and tail lights have been off this whole [ __ ] time after 25 minutes of walking by foot we have made it back to the bong just in time this episode is incredibly poetic what the [ __ ] happened to my bong oh my God is that the couch that I own

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