Cursed things to do in happy wheels

All right. We’re checking out the only game where the only secret is how you’re going to die. It’s Happy Wheels. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is with the explosive watermelons? Oh, it’s Spleens’ Explosive Watermelons. I just MLGd half of a watermelon. That’s exciting. So, the idea here is if you get the blue,

Something happens. It doesn’t really say whether or not that something will be good or bad, which apparently doesn’t really matter because all I’m getting is just more and more explosive watermelons. I see there’s a tunnel monster chilling out of there. Rise up, my alcohol. Rise. All right. I’ve gotta be able to get

Like the rocket or something. It’s just kind of hard to get. Come on. I don’t wanna get the win until I see what all this is. [grunts] Ugh, that looks like more watermelon. You know what? Give me all the alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. Keep it coming. [chuckles] Oh, my God. [laughs] Keep it coming.

[laughs] I’m getting a whole lot of absolutely nowhere. Ah, what is that? Gray’s rocket house. Is that what that is? You thought this was actually the win? You fool. All right. So, I’m almost there. I just need the tunnel monster, and then whatever the secret ending is. All right. Getting this tunnel monster

Is going to be a real challenge. All right. There goes the watermelons. Luckily, watermelons are nice and soft. All right, there comes the rocket again. [groans] That was actually kind of cool. I almost bounced the alcohol off of the watermelon. Oh, I bottle-flipped the bottle on top of whatever this is.

I’m not gonna lie, if it is a rocket house, I want one. Burning a lot of gas over here. There we go, tunnel monster. Oh my God. Oh, that’s interesting. It just kinda like wander– Apparently, this is made by like 15 different people. 37 level prototypes. Can I leave? I have questions. Ow.

Well, this is a problem. Oh. Oh, there we go. Yay. Oh. Oh, it goes into another cannon. I actually have to grab it. Okay. Ow. Uh, I don’t think I’m supposed to be here. All right, Tom. Listen, I need you to just chill out over there I’ve got things to do.

Oh, yeah, that looks good. Oh, it looks a lot less good now. You know, doing this and like not- doing this and not having my legs rip off. There we go. This has gotta be it. Ah. [laughs] Ow, God. That was a pretty good catch, huh? [laughs] All right. Oh, no. All right.

Jump, flip, grab. All right. A little bit out from the wall. That was too far out. I can’t even get to see whatever’s down here. Ah. Uh, oh. All right. And oh, it knocked me outta the way. My own leg betrayed me. Come on, baby. Come on, ba– okay.

Ah, this is very difficult. Okay. This is the best-looking one. There. I got it. Okay. So, where does it shoot me now? I gotta let go otherwise, my arms rip off. Ow. Ow. Okay. Uh, do I just kind of keep– Oh, that seems like cheating. Three months of levels, huh? Go. Okay.

Go, uh, ow. All right. So, what killed me last time? [laughs] There doesn’t appear to be any spikes over here. Not really sure how it happened. Okay. So, there’s like a hidden spike right here. Got it. Not exactly sure how I’m supposed to get over it. I’ll figure it out.

Give it to me. Mm. Yeah. Oh, my leg, yeah. All right. Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna flutter-kick this. See that? See this right here. Oh, there’s like a, oh, Nope. All right. Just ch– I’m using my leg to just make sure. So, when you get fired out of a cannon–

Oh, no. You actually need to stop before you get to that other area because there is literally just a hidden wall that you can’t get past. So, we flip flop down here. Tuck. There we go. Straight up and grab. Now I kinda have to make sure. Wiggle around a little bit.

Ah, here we go. Okay, I lost an arm, but I think I can still do this, hopefully, I’ve got one arm. See that, look, a cannon, right over here. Look at it. Here we go. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is great. Okay. I’m not exactly sure how I’m supposed to do this.

Yeah, it looks good. [screams] Why do you come up here? I didn’t really have a choice, did I? All right. I hope this is the right direction, because I only got one le– one arm left, man. This is the boring way. Shut your mouth, a win is a win.

Well, since you’re up here, we might as well talk. Yeah, we’re gonna be talking a while because I just turned this way, and now there’s no way for me to get to the other direction. I think Happy Wheels is too formulaic. That’s why I like to make levels, they’re all unique.

Ah, thank God, I got the other way. Ugh. Yeah, I like new levels too, but generally, it just means that my life is that much more difficult. Yes, I’m still here, let me win. Oh, no. I wanna make a game, an 8-bit top-down RPG, anyone want to help me? Please email him

So that he stops trying to ruin my life. Of course, I’m persistent. I’m GrayStillPlays. I’d like to mention too, that, like, none of this is, like, a real floor, I have to, like, grab all these different ways every time because the floor has these little spikes all over it,

And I have to, like, jump over a couple of them. Here’s a watermelon. Did you know there’s a popular home-brewed D&D race called the Florida Man? I did not know that. Also, I hope you know this watermelon just makes my life 100 times harder. Ugh, I’m not hungry.

When you see how long it has taken me to get to this point, you’ll understand. All right. Bye. Ah, I just– Are you kidding me? [grunts] Ah, yes, if you get the victory, it doesn’t mean you’ve won. These levels will continue to be made forever. You can’t win. Oh, really?

All right, I saw there was another thing over here. Tom, you know what to do, buddy. Your dad has work to do. Oh, God. Okay. All right, you wanna play that way? You got it. Are you ready? [chuckles] Oh my God. All right, now that I know there’s another part to this– Mm.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, slow, you got it. Oh, boy, you can’t really go slow here, you kind of have to– Arg, I’m not giving up. [grunts] Oh my God, oh my God. Okay, this is as far as I ever got. Oh, I’m gonna die, or am I? Okay, this is the first time

I’ve actually gotten up to this point, so I have no idea how I’m supposed to– alright, whatever, let’s do this. How in the world? I’ve got no arms. No, son. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh, okay, I mean, it’s kind of working. Oh my God, this is- this is like,

Ugh, the most frustrating thing they ever did. Who is supposed to beat this? Who is this– Are you kidding me right now? I saw there was a bonus challenge up there. If we’re doing this, we’re doing the bonus challenge. [music] Okay. [grunts] Ugh, ugh, oh, go this way. Okay.

Ah, [chuckles] where is the end? Oh, God. Oh, God. I d– Yes. This is called the Pitfall Of Doom. It says, “Don’t worry. It’s possible.” Really? Okay. Tough luck. Ow. I mean, I’m still alive, so I’m not bad, at least. Still bad. Great. There’s a very–

A lot of positive notes here on this one. Pretty bad. Okay, good. I’m only mostly bad at this point. I really wanna get rid of this leg. Causing me nothing but troubles. Ah, there we go. Hey leg, would you kindly like stop being a giant nuisance? Not as bad. Okay. Ah, small balls.

Getting better. Hey, it’s like the first nice thing this thing said to me. Better still? Sweet. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Oh, it’s a ball fall. Okay. Through that. Here we go. No problem. Oh, it’s like a– it’s an air-propelled ball fall. Really? Hmm. That’s weird. I don’t really know how to approach this.

I keep getting thrown backward. [laughs] I mean, I-I’m great, but I don’t really feel great. How are you supposed to do this? Come on, inchworm your way through. Come on, Nixon. You can do this, buddy. Oh-oh-oh. I was almost there. I was almost there. It’s totally possible. Oh, yeah.

Look at this dive. Look at it. Look at the Nixon dive. Right through. Boom. Last one. Oh my God. Yeah. And I survived somehow. This is called Black Friday Shopping. It’s Black Friday and sales are now 90% off. So, you have to go on a shopping spree and get everything in every store.

Why are you still reading this? You gotta go before everything’s gone. Let’s do this. All right. This is going actually pretty good. You have your shopping cart. Get under the items and press it. And it will land in your cart. Go crazy. All right. Yeah-yeah. Apples. Yeah. More apples.

All the apples and watermelons. 90% off, everyone. TVs. More watermelons, pineapples. I think some of these are outta season, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. What is this, soap? Oh, it’s energy drinks. Looks like I’m drinking– Looks like I’m drinking, like, game dish detergent or something. Butcher’s cleavers, 90% off.

I’ve got so much stuff from this store, actually am having trouble like moving through the game. It’s just food. It doesn’t even say what it is, just random food. Broad swords 90% off. Man, thank God for Walmart. The place where you can get all your broad sword needs. I can’t even move.

There’s so much stuff. All right. Here’s the plan. We’re just doing this full speed. We’re just doing it full speed. Here we go. Aah-aah. Oh, a little- a little early. All the stuff. More. Oh, I don’t wanna stab myself in the head. More. All the algo– Free disappointments. Face the children.

My shopping cart. Okay. This is actually a good lesson, like a real-life lesson. So, you can’t have everything that you want in life. So, you have to pick and choose. So, we definitely want some watermelons. I still don’t know what this is, but I’m gonna take it. I don’t want the butcher’s cleavers.

The only reason why is because I’d rather have the swords. There we go. Now, all the alcohol. Absolutely. We’re buying all that. That’s okay. We’re in Beast Buy now. It’s fine. I’ll get my machetes over here. There we go. And a couple of these, plus 10 subscribers. I wish it was that easy.

Got the iPal when you don’t need any real friends, got some X-boxes. Ultra death Cola, got a cursed duck. [laughs] You can have a car, [?]. How much more stuff do I get to buy? Ah, ow, home sweet home. Black Friday shopping is brought to you by BetrayusGaming. Yay. Well, I went shopping,

And all I bought was disappointment. Hey, folks, hope you enjoyed this episode of Happy Wheels. Till next time, stay foxy.