Minecraft Dungeons but I am not the hero this game wants me to be

Hey there friends how’s it going my name is kevin and today we’re playing minecraft dungeons i know literally nothing about this game i am very interested though i have to kind of try it out like i played minecraft back when it was alpha super early days so if

There’s a new minecraft thing i kind of have to check it out but all he found was hatred i already relate to the main character the orb of dominance huh i would call it the cube of dominance but you do you that’s fine corrupted by evil driven by vengeance the arch illegal

Made all bow before him i like this illager guy i hope he’s the main character because he’s really relatable yeah get those stupid villagers go on burn them down burn oh god dammit i have to fight them how am i supposed to fight such a relatable and nice villain Hey none of that social distancing please thank you okay that’s my character oh it’s dlc are you kidding me i just want to be old all right that one will do i want to be old but i also don’t want to pay to be old my guy just

Looks like a librarian who’s kind of lost i was going for the more i’m too old for this [ __ ] kind of old guy but no i’m just going with the quiet in the library old man traveling to squid coast okay i don’t travel often and it’s not really

An option these days but if i could i wouldn’t go to a place called squid coast go to the village my guy looks naked he’s the new town streaker perfect shouldn’t you be burning up it’s daytime this game is already very cute maybe you know it’s just the flames and the

Pillaging and stuff but i like it a lot already oh god oh they’re running at me with axes okay just picture them making a little bit too much noise in the library [ __ ] oh [ __ ] off god he slaughtered him and brought out his inner rage that’s his special

Offer sake god damn it who’s putting redstone down here oh it’s the hero of the story oh and he’s already left for [ __ ] sake now i’m spawn killing his cronies i want to speak to the higher ups okay i want to speak to the manager i’m not dealing with you call me karen

Oh my god okay i’ve got a power up it’s called homemade explosives this librarian’s got a lot of secrets going on and how the hell do i get over there i want treasure okay that’s not the way oh the little villager angel i thought it would be a little devil this guy’s

Just following me along but i’m refusing to interact with him like just for example you were getting mugged and you just go to the mugger no thank you and you just keep walking away chances are you’re probably gonna get away with it oh victory yes okay i didn’t save any

Villagers but oh well hopefully i’ll still be in the history books it’s not about the saving it’s about the glory oh loot boxes please let me pay and get something [ __ ] please i need the nostalgia oh fishing rod great i don’t know how i would use that in this game

But great creeper woods i hope you’re talking about minecraft creeper and not that there’s gonna be a load of you know pervs in there or anything just comes dangling down from the trees oh what succulent skin you have do you mind if i take a selfie with you somewhere in

These woods a caravan is transporting villager prisoners to labor in far-off lands oh this is getting very dark like really dark all right friends it’s me jim pickens the librarian this is another alternate universe i don’t know why i chose to go into this forest at

Night the one time you guys swarm all over the place but that’s okay because you know what i’m refusing to engage because this is your homeland and if i were to start attacking you guys i would be the bad guy and then i’m just as bad

As them there you go you’re free good luck that poor dude is so effect the only thing i kill is the [ __ ] cow you know for a place called creeper woods there’s not a lot of creepers i’m thinking there actually will be perverts out here perv

Okay maybe i should keep my distance use my firework arrows can’t let those perverts get close i’m not even getting resources out of them i’m just murdering for the sake of murder i don’t know if that was even a bad guy i’m just kind of attacking i’m just

Going with the whole scorched earth campaign you know just speaking about the alpha earlier just got me thinking i want to go back to alpha where there’s no monsters it’s just me oh tnt nice what what the hell am i doing with this is this safe having it on my head like

This oh okay that’s fine bombing the forest i really might be the bad guy here where the hell am i even going i’m just wandering through this forest for fun i just love murdering hello oh god what is it no librarians why do so many houses have this policy all you have to

Do is follow the spiders if you want to die god damn it anchor it if hagrid ever gets out of azkaban i’ll kill him oh there’s more villagers to free here you know i’m relating to these bad guys more and more like every time i’ve played minecraft the past like five worlds i’ve

Created a prison for the villagers honestly i have a lot to learn from these guys like this guy has a [ __ ] eye patch who knows what he’s been up to he could be a [ __ ] pirate he’s awaiting fair trial and i’m just freeing him what the hell is this

Body sorry i don’t mean to body shame you it’s a reference to a little meme song i like if you know a lot about the deep call me kevin lore you’d understand die die the villager must be fake and terrified like i’m slaughtering everything where the hell am i now oh

Pervert village of course oh sweet jesus they’re [ __ ] everywhere look we get it you an old man fetish just back off all right now [ __ ] off for that wizard [ __ ] now come on get me out of here get me out of here no dude you don’t understand you

Don’t want to fight me there’s so many perverts in here look at that he blew up in the mere sight of me i’m out of here oh thank god the police station these villages are free from the clasp of the images i don’t think they actually are i

Just kind of let them out and ran away if anything i’ve sentenced them to death oh my chest what is it please let me pay for nothing god damn it did i just get boots of swiftness because that sounds amazing i spent a lot of time running

Here we go oh yeah that’s what i need oh who are you you come home with me are you one of the perverts from the woods you found a chest of 50 emeralds no i don’t want to find them i want to pay for them where’s my sense of pride and

Accomplishment if i’m not buying microtransactions oh i get to pick where i want to go now so i’ve done creeper woods we got redstone mines soggy swamp i am tempted to give us a trek cacti canyon but look at pumpkin pastures look how glorious that looks the illager

Raids have roasted this once lush land to ruin [Laughter] oh no no laughing at that sorry i i thought it was funny i’d be the worst person in one of those live studio audiences for a sitcom i’m sorry uh but your mom died i’m here to slaughter you all good bad

Or indifferent you’re gonna die now [ __ ] off with that magic [ __ ] i don’t understand it they’re like reading his book like what are all these weird symbols that’s just english dude stop intelligent shaming me oh my god what the hell is that oh it’s owie that’s what it is sorry guys get my

New boots on and nothing you can do about it just running right by them i may not be able to read but god damn can i run quick a shame it can’t get me a well-paying job but oh well sometimes when i run in the park people go look at

That guy he’s fast and that kind of makes up for it oh um i’ve pissed off everyone and now i’ve led them to this dead end there we go i love those explody arrows they saved me so much lower the drawbridge oh my god look how many there

Are my swift boots can’t save me now all right explode the arrow away yes what’s this okay i pressed it i don’t know what it did swift boots on oh that was just to lower the bridge but i don’t want any survivors at the very least i want most

Of them dead and a few in critical condition but ideally all dead would be perfect i was trying to be conservative with my arrows and then i realized i had 259 of them so i think i’m okay oh can i eat this probably die immediately but i’m curious

Curiosity kills the kevin a lot get out of here with your [ __ ] flying [ __ ] what even are you are you a priest or something oh you’re an evoker well you’re evoking [ __ ] anger out of me anyway you’re good at what you do no no no i don’t want to

Hear about the word of your lord i have my own lord and his name is jim pickens ooh is that a new bow red snake it’s like what a 12 year old would name their boy put flames down the side oh my god that chest was on the back of

A pig okay i thought the chest was just squeaking at me oh my god what the hell these guys are insane they’ve got so many cool powers maybe learning to read would have been a good idea but it’s too late now all right that chicken who’s teamed up with

That zombie just proves it wildlife deserves to die what’s that iconic line from pokemon there are no good pokemon killed them all or something like that right Coffee there’s no such thing as a good pokemon level up enchantment points i want to enchant my glasses what ow ow okay i’ll be attacked i thought that would pause everything it’s an online game mom you can’t pause it wait a second fishing rod how do i use

That there we go it’s an artifact apparently i’m trying to actually fish i don’t think i can do that i want to just like build a house and [ __ ] and we’ll have the finest dirt block house in town honestly this place is so filled with monsters i’m like it’s kind of the

Villager’s own fault for getting into trouble for building here in the first place or maybe it’s just australia what are the other because there’s spiders [ __ ] everywhere and everything wants to kill me i rang the bell i don’t know what that does is it just the warning bell oh it’s

The cool guy from earlier hello ah why is he playing so hard to get oh my jesus christ there’s so many of them quick use fishing rod all right i just fishing rodded a tree uh oh oh oh oh oh my god he [ __ ] me up

So bad oh my god that play by them was amazing all right no more mr nice guy implying i was ever a nice guy ah jesus this guy’s a dick okay i think my strategy of just poking away at him periodically is not working i just need

To go nuts and kill him because god damn he is doing a lot of damage to me guardian angel feck off you did nothing for me i don’t know if that thing was evil or good all i know is he’s dead enter the town hall thankfully i can get

A standing ovation from the whole village now i deserve it and the villagers of the pumpkin pass just go on to fight another day i don’t think they’ve ever fought a day in their life they don’t defend themselves they just wait for the librarian to show up if we

Make enough noise he’ll get pissed off enough to come over here a wandering trainer so you’ve set up camp of me have you random artifact and the blacksmith random gear ah that’s interesting so i can keep buying stuff with my emeralds if only i could buy them using real

Money then i’d be happy i just realized i have a way better weapon on my person as well that i was not using god my base is [ __ ] cool like i want to build this in minecraft it’s awesome it’s putting my hardcore world saved to shame

Really trying to find a place that i can just run off but it’s not letting me it refuses to allow me to be that stupid i want treasure okay you found a chest with 50 emeralds i think i may have just forgotten that it was there because like it’s a few feet

From my house pretty sure they must have been my emeralds to begin with and what am i building here could be like some sort of church for the cult or something like that that would be nice but for now i think that is a good place to end well

Just walking into the table the blacksmith’s gonna be like uh i think there’s something wrong with him you know like more than we we thought that was wrong with him we’re just saying something but yeah we’re gonna end it there i hope you enjoyed this look at minecraft dungeons i really like this

Unexpectedly because this is not really my type of game the whole top down slashing and all that and little linear missions is not really my thing usually but it seems really fun i enjoyed this um i hope you did too either way even if you [ __ ] hated it and you hate me now

I appreciate you watching through the whole thing okay it’s a love-hate relationship i love you you hate me but yeah i appreciate you watching i really hope you enjoyed um if you want more of me i post every single day but i also stream over on twitch and the link to

That is in the description but other than that that’s about it for now i hope to see you next time folks bye for now