Minecraft in 2030

When we made minecraft we had no idea it would be the greatest selling video game of all time but with our new game minecraft 2 we predict that it will cure drug addiction because people will be so busy playing minecraft 2 they won’t have time to smoke crack so here’s what’s different between

Minecraft and minecraft 2. the paintings have been revamped from now on all minecraft paintings are mona lisa all of them why would you have anything less than perfect the old combat system was great but it’s getting a bit stale and since technoblade has already perfected it we

Are overhauling it so that the only way to deal damage is through jousting competitions because it just looks way cooler we know that one of the staples of minecraft is the block shape and while we will be keeping a classic mode where you can go back to that

We are now implementing in minecraft 2 all blocks are mobius strip shaped since most of our audience was 12 when they bought the game they’ve grown up to adults now and they really need a more sophisticated game we’ve also completely gotten rid of the sandbox feel to minecraft

Because people need goals and now minecraft 2 will release with the goal of every young boy’s dream world domination that’s right every game of minecraft 2 will be in perpetual world war it’s your choice how you take over the world you could use guns religion or corporate greed

Since minecraft 2 is said in the future the mobs you know and love will have been wiped out it’s mostly cockroaches now we also wanted to increase the realism of our games we saw red dead redemption has three viewers on twitch and we want literally

All of them so now if you create a magnificent castle without a building permit you’ll be going to court also furnaces get carbon taxed now let’s talk about the price minecraft is currently 27 but minecraft 2 is free it’s not just free it’s mandatory we are so rich already we can do

Whatever we want we have an australian voicing this trailer right now just for fun he’s the last one left we sent the rest to the moon a big thank you for those of you who bought minecraft story mode that story was literally written with a random word generator

In terms of release date it’s already out and you already have it minecraft was updating in the background while you were watching this video it’s minecraft 2 baby you cannot play any of the old versions and in one week you’ll be mailed a small chip that you can insert into your neck

To track your stats and nothing else if you happen to live in florida you won’t be getting this chip instead we’re just going to cut that state off and let it drift out to sea as a social experiment we’ve also been looking at the media a lot recently and

We know that pc culture is very important nowadays and we are advocating for the most oppressed group of old short people there will be no height limit in minecraft too in fact every single creature is the same height and all the trees are the same height as

A human so no one’s intimidated we’ve also chopped everyone’s knees off so they can’t jump as this would cause a height difference a change we hope will be implemented into the real world soon and introducing minecraft kids my mum walked in on me playing minecraft and didn’t like the scary monsters so

They’re all gone lava has been replaced with gatorade and the music soundtrack is replaced with encouraging messages you’re doing great you’re not a disappointment don’t listen to them and not only is minecraft kids free it’s mandatory for anyone under the age of 16 you must play minecraft kids

It turns out the human brain takes around 16 years to be indoctrinated into a cult we are here to spread a message of positivity which is why not only are all swear words banned any negative talk of minecraft 2 will result in a ban from life you’ll be off with florida also whoever

Likes mint ice cream you and now for pvp there will be two modes of pvp in minecraft too firstly the gameplay you are all used to skywars and bed wars and such except hacked clients are not banned in fact everyone gets a hacked clan for free

If you’re caught turning off autumn or not flying you’ll be sent to prison a real one and the other mode is virtual reality play minecraft pvp in first person and every time you get hit in the game a taser will hit you in the corresponding place we’ve been working on this technology

For the past 50 years now you might think minecraft is only 10 years old but like i said we are extrupendously rich that’s not even a word but i can pay for it to be added to the dictionary we have bought time travel we know you’re going to like this game

We looked into why people liked minecraft so much and it seems that all of its success was because parkour videos were popular in 2011 but you were too scared to do it in real life it also helped the people on the internet yelled at you to like the game

And now everyone can live their dream of being a youtuber minecraft 2 will record your face at all times streaming it to the world in fact your whole life will have a constant live stream we won’t be missing anything oh never mind looks like we just invented

Minecraft 3. what’s new with minecraft 3 we put a 3 on the front and it’s not free it say it with me mandatory it’s also not actually free at all you have to pay with your soul we haven’t figured out if souls exist yet but when we do find out

We will own yours i’ve been told that as soon as i stop reading this script i’ll be executed so i’m going to tell you some of our future plans minecraft 4 will have alternate realities one of which all blocks drop apples but being vegan is illegal minecraft 5

Is a talent show but you have to be nice and let the ceo of mojang win minecraft 6 the pigs gomu and the cows go oink that’s it they think that deserves a sequel of its own minecraft 12 the developers had a breakdown and the game is just an

Empty void minecraft 27 dino craft it’s minecraft with dinosaurs but the dinosaurs are designed by a five-year-old one week later minecraft 274 will be released and that’s another talent show because someone didn’t let him win minecraft omega all humans transfer their consciousness into minecraft except florida they can stay on earth to

Repopulate it people live and die in minecraft that is all we know everyone eventually gets bored in afk’s we are all done with minecraft and with life except the floridians they slowly regain civilization they invent transport electricity computers and eventually minecraft the cycle repeats they gain money power

Minecraft 2 is invented you’re currently living on the 23rd minecraft purge minecraft has destroyed all of humanity 22 times and it won’t be long until the next also creepers explode twice as fast