Press Start To Laugh – A Hero Could Save Us | What if Steve Talked in Minecraft? (Parody) – Season 2 Episode 1

Pass pass what do you mean pass i mean pass i don’t really have any interest in cleaning up y’all’s mess our mess hero is your evil given physical form if anything this is your mess pretty sure it stopped being my problem the moment i died do you have any idea how painful

Death is well actually right forgot who i was talking to plus you’re no longer dead i brought you back yeah thanks for that you’re welcome that was sarcasm oh i liked being dead it was quiet except for the hellfire and screaming but compared to you all constantly bickering

And snoring in my head it was bliss it couldn’t have been that bad you haven’t heard your snoring so if you could just put me back that’d be great good talking to you again though next time maybe just send a letter or something what the

Hero took all of your evil you have to help i may not have evil in me anymore but i definitely have laziness and apathy steve without you we can’t defeat him uh-huh okay so you’re no longer the most powerful beings around so what it’s not just our pride at stake

Well a little bit of it is our pride naturally he’s going to kill everyone that’s rough bro well if that’s all i’m going to go back to being dead now tell indian the jabs to write indian the jebs are gone what they’re gone steve and i would be too but stupidly he

Didn’t finish the job i managed to save my mind and just enough power to bring you back and why do you think i’ll be able to defeat him when you all couldn’t well we did kill him multiple times but he simply kept coming back he does

Not seem to be able to die through normal means what does normal means mean stabbing crushing incinerating drowning mutilating balling stabbing you already said stabbing we liked stalling not filling me with a lot of confidence with he had an idea you and hero are parts of

Each other if we can get you close and you slay him you might be able to reabsorb him absorb a being of pure evil yes even if he is part of me i’d rather not have a being of pure evil inside me i’ll try not to take that personally

And you’re sure this will work indie was convinced what about the jabs i believe their exact words were sounds about right fine i’ll do it for indian the jebs not for you works for me now first things first we gotta get out of here good call indy and

I stored your body here to keep it outside of hero’s purview but the pigs weren’t too happy about it so we rubbed pork on your body to mask your scent that’s probably wearing off by now you did what oh that’s what that slimy feeling is oh hey piggies don’t attack me we’re pals

I’m just one of you just a slimy smelly pig i feed you with me oh good a chest hopefully they have some armor and it’s just a pickaxe and some cream ooh that stuff is great for your complexion yeah i’ll worry about exfoliating after i escaped certain doom you’re poor’s loss

Don’t bite me don’t bite me don’t bite me don’t bite me all right we’re out where to now we have to get back to the surface and prepare you for battle and how do we get out of the nether is my portal still open no it has long been closed

Long been closed i’ve only been dead a few days you’ve been gone 15 years what 15 years you died and went to your eternal afterlife i told you time moves differently when you’re essentially immortal but you know what too much going on right now i don’t have time to freak out you

In this round i’m thrilled you just leave or escape to me considering i’m the one that has to physically move us out of here you should probably fill me in touched i have a minion on the outside they’ve opened a new portal for us but

We have to be quick all right which way i think it’s uh all right i forgot your sense of direction sucks i’m gonna die down here or re-die re-death isn’t so bad you start to get used to it i’d rather not your loss sure well i hope hiro doesn’t put his

Plan into motion while i’m lost down here hopefully something stalls him long enough for us to get you ready No no no it’s still not right what’s wrong with it it’s supposed to be a creature capable of immense destruction not this i love you mommy i don’t know seems fine to me of course it does you’re an idiot huh i’m not idiot i’m wrong no you’re not ron you’re iron we’ve been

Over this i didn’t want to name you because i didn’t want to get attached but thank you for proving my point you’re welcome that was sarcasm huh i’m not sure why i keep you around i’m more of a block shape stop talking you lied to me you told me this would

Work i did i don’t remember that i wasn’t speaking it to you oh conversations are hard you my dim-witted creation are exactly the problem you were supposed to destroy the world and instead you’re basically an over glorified doorstop doors are confusing i know they are i’ve scoured nearly every inch of this

Stupid planet trying to find the right combination of materials and yet every time i find a new one it fails and i end up with a creation as dumb as well you i don’t know what you said but i’m just glad we parted the conversation

We’ve got a few more places to try but frankly i’m getting a little tired of it you should take a nap maybe i will ron oh damn it now i’m calling you that but there’s no time for napping now there’s one more place on my list we need to check road trip We are running through the nether with no armor and no weapons this is insanity don’t worry i’ve had my minion leave some weapons and armor for you at the portal doesn’t help me much right now does it you’ll be fine as long as you keep moving don’t bring attention to

Yourself and don’t get hit by anything wow thanks for telling me i already know get away get away get a wagon away i doubt the yelling helps with me not bringing attention to yourself ah shut up whitney next time revive me with weapons so my evil half calls himself hero

Really well he is part u what’s that supposed to mean apparently he has your flair for the dramatic what’s that supposed to mean i remember a certain human running around saying i’m gonna be a hero this and i’m gonna be a hero that that was one thing that

Doesn’t make me dramatic you built a minecart system for no reason set a forest on fire took over a mansion and killed an entire town just okay point taken he’s dramatic and loves irony what else do you know do you know his plan surprisingly we evil beings tend not to

Share plans we lean more towards stealing each other’s ideas making alliances breaking those alliances and backstabbing makes sense i guess any clue how long hero’s been around plotting unsure we only took notice of him when town started popping up destroyed about a year ago indy wanted to destroy those

Towns sounds about right what i do know is he believes himself to be the one true hero set to rid the world of all evil and that involves killing everyone if everyone is dead then there is no evil it’s like winning by default i don’t think he’s really picky winning is

Winning frankly if i weren’t one of the things he was trying to destroy i’d be impressed wish i thought of it myself all right i forget your evil ish evil ish i don’t feel the need to kill everyone i want to rule over everyone and if everyone’s dead who would be left to

Rule so you’re a lesser evil how dare you i’m not a lesser anything really because judging by your lack of body i think hero might be a bit i’m the greater evil he just caught me off guard and before hiro didn’t indy destroy your body too she also caught me off guard

Okay whatever helps you sleep at night you know i’m glad you brought me back i missed this so what have i missed in the last 15 years yeah i’m not sure india and i reconnected and we’ve been doing pretty much that since you died gross

Yeah it was oh thank god i found it no more time for that story withy oh hey it looks like your minion came through let’s see if they left me this will work oh thank golf food i’m starving should we gonna meet this friend of yours hopefully not she’s uh special

Can’t be any worse than you okay all right let’s do this oh i forgot how much i hate this part yeah hello hello hello um hi you look delicious say what i probably should have mentioned she’s a biter probably doesn’t help that i smell like pork then

Nope you do smell delicious maybe just a quick nibble barbara no biting this one’s meaty i know you just beat me bones i’m tired of bones then you should know i’m full of bones yep super bony full of them chock full of them oh willie you promised to bring me something pointless

This time she called you witty shut up don’t worry barbara as a reward for assisting me i did bring you something I love him hey bites back this cannot be safe it tastes like burning it most assuredly is not barbara you have fun i will i’m gonna cut you off into bite-sized morsels i hope she’s talking to the cube and not me wow so many are we gonna stop this nah let her have

Her fun she’s gonna burn down the forest probably but she’d have done that regardless yeah too many too many let’s go before this escalates further where to now we’ve got some places to go well we’re going to need a base to prepare first is my old one’s still standing Not an arc never mind is it kinda then let’s use that oh yay which way is it i’m sure we could ask barbara they’re organized probably best if we figure it out ourselves yeah i believe there’s a village near here perhaps we can go ask for directions sounds good

Are we there yet yes we’ve been here for minutes now if you ask again i will melt you down and turn you into a bucket just like your brother bucky’s mean at least he’s helpful carrying water is hard astute observation my soon-to-be bucketed friend why are we here i don’t

Like it it’s scary we are looking for an artifact one that should allow me to finally create a creature that how to put this can form a sentence without giving itself a headache oh good luck that’s gonna be tough ow headache yeah how do you know

Lucky guess it looks as though we found our entrance you stay here how just don’t move your legs i’ll try i’m sure you will he’s going to get lost oh it’s dark there we go now where is it oh come on ow ow that stings ah stupid traps i really didn’t feel like

Having two holes in my chest oh and there it is ah damn it i’m gonna have four holes in my chest now this better be worth it if it’s not you’re going to pay oh aren’t you interesting let’s see if this doesn’t solve our problem but

What i changed the small furry thing and now i think i’m lost if i didn’t give it him genitals he’d be peeing on the floor stay there i’ll come get you how don’t move your legs gal oh come on so how do you know barbara she’s a fan you have fans

What i’m an immortal demon i have fans sure you do i do crazy fans demons don’t typically attract sane individuals they’re shay so steve are you having any desire to burn all this down thankfully no what about ripping any of these four-legged beasts of their free will different

Story there my feet are killing me hopefully the village will have some carrots so i don’t have to walk the whole way ah there’s the steve i know it’s not evil witty it’s laziness we’ve covered this to your evil side’s credit you are really good at being evil or you

Know he is geez i’m so proud you should be you created the greatest second greatest evil known to this world with my help of course you’re a little proud aren’t you i am ah there’s the village finally let’s find a place to get some food and directions perhaps you can just borrow

One of these homes as our base instead of your old abomination no oh man but it’s so cute i hid some stuff there it’ll help us fine look there’s a tavern that should get us what we need Hello sir hello there stranger what can i get you just whatever’s on the stove something to drink in some directions ah where are you heading uh well it’s um how to explain tell him the old cube seriously he’ll know what it means for the love

I’m looking for the old cube why are you going there boy oh that place is haunted really a place that hideous and poorly built only a being a pure evil could have created it oh come on they say a man lived there so hideous and cruel that he trapped and tortured

Real demons just for fun and even though he died some say he never truly left shut up excuse me oh no no no i wasn’t talking to you i meant like shut up no way really yeah i just want to go see for myself if it’s true you know well then

It’s just north of here but i’d suggest you wait till tomorrow it’s gonna be dark soon there’s an end you can stay at across the way excellent thank you i’d just like to get that food now if it’s all right yeah go go and have a seat i’ll send someone around thanks really

What did you have something to do with that story in my defense i thought it was hilarious whitney tell me what happened to indian the jebs some point after we killed hiro for the 10th or 11th time we lost contact with the gems indy left to go check on them

She said they were gone shortly after she got back hiro attacked us he destroyed my body but indy distracted him long enough for me to save my consciousness is there any chance she escaped no the last thing i heard was her exploding so it really is just the two of us

Versus him huh yes be honest do you think we can do it yes no maybe yeah i told you being truthful is hard well let’s hope you’re wrong or right or whatever agreed Oh come on is this not it it’s a cat but it’s a fluffy wuffy kitty weenie unless it is planning on destroying the world with evil adorableness then once again it has failed who said we’re just really really can we keep them no i’m allergic

You said you could help me find what i needed and so far you’ve had me running in circles leading me to one failed material after another i did i’m sorry boss i wasn’t talking to you well what do you have to say for yourself your britches i’ve got one more for you

To go after and i’m pretty sure i’ve got it right this time you better otherwise our deal is off hey you couldn’t have gotten this far without me i got rid of the jabs and the wither for you i could have done that on my own

Sure you could that’s why you died how many times was it we were all so busy stabbing you i lost count what was that shut up well they’re gone so what’s the rush we’ll eventually find the right materials and the world to be yours and y’all give you half damn straight

And next time you make a deal with someone and then decide to stab them in the back you should make sure they don’t end up inside your head you’re exploding in a giant ball of light of course i was going to look it’s called the defense mechanism bupsy

I’ve got a squirrel in my head that seems about right yeah okay well get moving we got a world to conquer Good morning the first comfortable bed i’ve had in 15 years and you snored the whole night my bad whatever let’s go first we’re gonna grab some food then maybe we’ll get some supplies and maybe grab a horse so we can hopefully make it before nightfall excuse me sir sir

Hi are you talking to me oh yes i’m so glad i caught you well good what can i do for you i just have a question for you for me sure ask away great how would you like me to kill you say what how would you like me to kill you

What what do you mean i’m not picky stabbing crushing incinerating drowning mutilating mauling stabbing you already said stabbing i like stabbing oh i like her shut up with e you do you do nope not that try it again oh that’s what that slimy feeling is oh no