Raising an Army of Wolves

There’s no denying that minecraft is an amazing game the only real gripe i have with minecraft is that there’s a limit to how powerful i can become once i get another right gear i’m done and i’m just not okay with that for years i’ve been searching for a way to overcome this

And for the longest time i couldn’t think of anything i was lost with no way of becoming more powerful and then it hit me wolves they called them man’s best friend for a reason right what if the answer to my quest for power and dominance has been right next to me this whole

Time what if instead of playing minecraft conventionally i constructed a massive automated wolf breeding facility and raised a massive battalion of rabid dogs to do my bidding for me can you take a wild guess what i’m gonna do in this video yes goddamn right i’m making a dog army What i i actually spawned right next to a dog that’s a bad sign normally when my videos start well they just go terribly wrong you’re kidding me there’s even more wolves and food i mean technically this isn’t food yet but i’m about to turn it into food

I love how you just watched your friend die and you have not a care in the world what the hell there’s it’s night time and there’s no skeletons wha every other video i’ve made i just get harassed by skeletons as soon as i step outside not today

No no apparently the skeletons are just on vacation or something look at how many other mobs there are but just just no skeletons oh my god thank you dude you gotta back up while you’re shooting me huh you can’t face me head-on [ __ ] okay dogs dogs come here i need

Protection come on you you’re my first one your name is halbert he ate two of my bones and i didn’t even tame him it normally takes one albert you are a spoiled piece of [ __ ] and i would kill you if it wouldn’t make you kill me right back

Do you guys mind i’m trying to work on something here why are you so so intent on stopping my path to world dominance what do you have against it that’s six zombies i hate this please don’t please don’t thank you actually you know i could really use a

Shield how do i build a shield i gotta do it quick shield uh it’s it’s this right i’m one wood short jesus christ i cannot function not even gonna bother crafting a sword anymore just because axes are so much better it’s time for a mass skeleton slaughter

I just got the baby zombie to attack the skeleton this is a beautiful game why is there another one that’s it i’m becoming a fortnight youtuber i don’t care please please leave me alone all i want are bones okay yeah remember what i said in the beginning of the video about

Nothing going wrong i take it all back oh my god i’m actually getting mobbed why are there so many at this point i’m used to strange circumstances this is no different than any of my other videos actually this is normal compared to most don’t blow up the dog i need him why are

There so many now would be a real nice time for the sun to rise first dog get back here what do i name it he looks like a gertrude all right come with me you’re my security i’d say we’re doing pretty good i say as i sit atop a tower surrounded

By mobs eating berries it’s fine it’s fine this is normal yes yes get them you are the worst bodyguard ever yeah that’s what happens all right let’s get geared up i can’t do much with one pup i kind of need two of them to breed heard another one bark but where is he

Oh all right both you come here i have something to tell you sit down you’re adopted they look so sad now listen i want you to make babies with him i’m pretty sure they’re both male so i don’t know how this is gonna work but minecraft doesn’t follow the rules

Of biology so we should be fine my god their face is merged into one it’s okay though because we have a baby dog man okay and now we just need to ancestrally breed these two until we have a massive army but but but it’s not that simple i made

Armor but forgot to put it on it’s not that simple you see i need a lot of food to feed them how am i gonna get a lot of food and what mob could i possibly use to get that food from i don’t know about you guys but a

Cow sounds pretty good not because it’s the most efficient way to breed these guys chicken would be way better i just really don’t like cows i found two cows that’s all we need i do need wheat not sure where i’m gonna get that i mean i guess i could just bone meal it

You know you’re in a strange situation when you actually have to craft a wooden hoe okay you follow me you’re going to your new home you probably aren’t going gonna like it and if you had any brain power at all you would run far far away from me from what you’ve

Seen me do to your friends but you’re stupid cows so you’re not gonna do anything come on let’s go i’ve got the whole family following me i mean granted half of the family is gonna help me conquer the world and the other half is gonna be food for the conquerors but

It’s still a family and that’s what matters trust me i will make this much much more elaborate as the video goes on but for now we’re gonna have to go with the cow pit not that that’s a bad thing i mean this is kind of a staple of my channel

There you go that’s your new home for now i hope you [ __ ] hate it oh why would the baby jump it why did both of the i hit both of the cows as a joke but the dogs thought that meant i wanted them to kill them come

On out of the hole are you guys ready to have more babies yet yep that’s how it works kids yeah i don’t trust any of you anymore you’re all gonna sit until it’s time for me to actually use you to conquer the world now i have to find more cows

Oh and of course as soon as i need one there’s just not a single cow in sight that’s great me and minecraft have a love-hate relationship all right listen sheep i appreciate your enthusiasm but uh you aren’t really needed so i’m just gonna do that cows you didn’t see anything it was an

Illusion why are you so slow i can’t even walk if i walk away they can’t keep up you are inferior to me in every way see this is tricky how am i supposed to outrun the creeper but keep the slow ass cows on me

Oh god yeah no no i’m going to bed not trying to deal with this what there’s so many wow this this is not the combo that i wanted maybe if i just blow up one it’ll blow up all them oh that worked okay yep i’m heading out it’s been fun

I’ll just be in this hole until morning when there’s not 80 000 different things trying to kill me at once how how did something hit me i feel safe now look at them burn oh that makes me so happy oh god well there goes my house all of this for two cows

I find myself in this exact same scenario a lot bribing cows and sheep with food and then luring them to their horrible demise it’s pretty fun actually you guys should try it i hate when i have to do it from this angle it just doesn’t look quite right we have

The start of our dog army and we have the start of our cow farm now all i need is a wheat farm to feed the cows to feed the dogs to feed my insatiable hunger for power i’ll be right back i’m gonna go pretend

To be a lawn mower so that i can get seeds for wheat one of my favorite hobbies is eating raw beef in front of cows you know just cause the ultimate flex is eating the dead flesh of your enemies in front of them while they watch everyone knows that

Are you kidding me i’m one one seed short it could have been so perfect i hate everything okay i’m just gonna slide by right here i don’t have why do i not have a torch i don’t like crafting things fast uh i just need one torch to turn off the spawner

Okay really two instances of the same disc that’s what you’re giving me i mean i’ll take it i’m not happy okay that’s that’s actually pretty good yes i like name tags go and the saddle okay that was actually pretty good i just adore the fact that skeletons are afraid of wolves like look

At this that’s just so funny to me also i am going to tame you oh you don’t want to get tamed while you’re angry okay don’t go on my crops stop that okay you are my dog now oh that’s so beautiful to see when it’s done that’s what it’s gonna be like but

This is only five dogs i plan on having like a thousand i hit a mob they all just gang up on it it’s dead i have too much power look bam hit em once actually i don’t even have to hit the skeletons cause they already hate them

Yo dude slow down my dogs can’t get you i think i just hit my dog no you did not just shoot one of my dogs oh my god and i found a horse and i have a saddle from the dungeon this is going so well just need to not accidentally hit the

Horse and everything will be fine why is this the slowest horse to ever exist i’m sprinting right now okay yep yep yep you guys can kill him why are you all looking at me like that oh it’s because i’m holding rotten flesh and you guys are weird and like to eat

That for some reason such a gross item [ __ ] rotten flesh hey you you two make me babies don’t worry i’m not watching i was about to eat that steak inside how silly of me gotta taunt the cows your brethren taste amazing never thought that was a sentence i’d say the fact that this

Channel qualifies as kid-friendly is so funny there we go it’s not a real cow pit if they’re not constantly swimming around in water on the verge of drowning all right dogs everyone come here we need to do a head count one two three four five now that is not nearly enough

I think maybe once i get about a hundred times this i’ll stop oh god the fact that they just merge into one when they’re making babies is a little scary the baby dogs are so cute no i won’t do it that’s just too mean look at his little tail wag oh my god

All right that is six dogs my plan is to breed all of them uh how about ten times so using let me graph this out hold on okay assuming every time we breed the dogs their population multiplies by 1.5 by 10 breeding rounds we will have somewhere around 500 dogs

I genuinely cannot think of any reason that i would need more dogs than that so that’s what we’re going for 500. idiot all right my operation is way too small i’m gonna go make the farm bigger there we go that’s much better granted i don’t actually have enough

Seeds to fill it up yet but we’ll get there okay wow it’s raining in the game and in real life and it’s sundering super loud and ruining most of my recording i love today my house is almost done i think i might go and try and rob a village just to

Speed things up because you know those those greedy [ __ ] they just keep piles of wheat they don’t even eat it it’s it’s fine absolutely nothing morally wrong with stealing from villagers not that i would care if there was anything wrong with it i’d do it anyways

But they’re not using it so it’s okay why are there so many songs that’s ten zombies no no i’m going inside see you guys later i’ll just sit here until you’re dead oh no it’s raining they’re not gonna burn all right dogs your first mission is to

Kill this absurdly big mob of zombies have fun i’m just gonna go inside while they do that no you’re not supposed to come inside with me this is beautiful oh they all ganged up on the skeleton who shot an arrow at me oh oh you poor thing oh i feel so bad

Yeah you deserve death now all my dogs are stuck i’m just gonna push you guys into the death pit kill him wait wait oh my god i can breed them with rotten flesh oh that’s so nice i have no need for rotten flesh it’s the worst item in the

Game but if i can use it to expand my army sure once you have a dog army behind you shut up lightning once you have a dog army behind you people aren’t gonna care how you got that army they’re not gonna care that you fed the dogs rotting human flesh

They’re just gonna care that you have a dog army in the first place it doesn’t matter No i hit the horse as a joke and now the dogs are attacking oh i feel bad but not that bad since it got me too leather and i kind of need leather ooh speaking of leather there’s a bee nope nope not messing with the bees i’ve

Just been taming dogs along the way here and i already have five more make that six hey boys boys you want a snack this cow doesn’t realize how much danger he’s in oh good luck oh oh wow you did not last long actually why would i kill the cows

Myself when i can just set my goons upon them do i do it yeah i’m sorry my dogs are hungry they can’t help it okay i think i think that should be enough jesus christ i got distracted killing animals so long that my entire field is grown

Oh my god that looks so nice skeleton i’m trying to enjoy farming my fully grown oh my god i hate you get off my field you’re ruining it oh my ewe no i gotta fix this okay that that is a lot of wheat i think it’s safe to say we now have enough

Supplies to just sit back and finally start to really grow our army oh god and so it begins you two you two you two make me children this breeding process is gonna start slow but as we get more dogs it should exponentially get faster are you looking at me like that i just

Fed you spoiled right now my life is just breed the cows and then breed the dogs and then kill the cows so i can continue to breed the dogs look at this the dogs get like a nice meadow to live in and the cows are just in a [ __ ]

Fish tank all scrambling for the last bit of air oh god wandering traitor why did you think this would be a good place to come i mean you know what’s about to happen i mean what did you expect me to do i had no other option but to hang both of them

And kill the traitor that’s morbid they’re still alive too they i can ride them while they’re being hung this is this is horrible that rope is around his neck he should be by all means very dead right now okay let’s let’s get off of this how many dogs do

We have one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen thirteen that is not nearly enough hold on let me just okay see this is much better but it’s still not nearly enough i’m trying to think if there’s any way to automate this

Because otherwise i’m just gonna have to be actually right clicking on every single one of these dogs until i have 500 of them you know i don’t think there is but i probably shouldn’t be complaining if it was easy to get a dog army everyone would have one oh god i just

Teleported them all out of their enclosure this is the price you pay for dog army it’s not easy but it’s not supposed to be easy oh my god it’s beautiful okay i’ll be back when i have like four times this amount friendly reminder the subscribe button does exist

I’m just letting you know that it is a thing you don’t have to click it but it’s there so this zombie was just foolish enough to walk into my wolf enclosure this is gonna be a nice test of concept to see how fast they kill them

Oh my god he just got destroyed that was beautiful okay another one what are you doing what do you expect to happen when you walk in there do you think good things are gonna come from walking into the massive dog pit no no you’re gonna get to what are you

Thinking this is my existence now i just i jitter click my dogs with rotten flesh why do you keep doing that it’s such a bad choice look now you’re dead oh no ah now i’m gonna use your rotten flesh to breed even more dogs what are you doing

You’re so dumb oh my god this is beautiful this is everything i wanted look at this look at this bam get him boys come on goons take them out you too dead oh you trying to mess with me oop dad oh oh that poor dog you know they’ve been good boys i think

I think they’ve earned themselves a snack that might have been a bad idea i don’t know how i’m gonna get them out of there oh my god that is morbid they’re all mobbing him oh wolf fell from a high place you may feast on the cows

Oh jesus this is this is horrifying what i’m looking at right now this is not good i mean it is good it’s a lot to look at what the hell is happening oh god all the dogs went into my house i don’t even really need weapons the wolves are my weapon

Okay everyone let’s go we’re going on a field trip i don’t even have to worry about mobs attacking me as soon as they do they just get mauled i’m not quite sure how this is gonna work i don’t think there’s any way for the wolves to actually hit these guys

Yeah i’m just gonna go sleep so that i don’t have to deal with that ow i hate these things leave me alone i’m just trying to peacefully slaughter some mobs with my dog army jesus okay can you guys just die please like no one likes you you add nothing to the

Game the fact that the skeletons run away from the wolves just makes it a hundred times funnier to watch oh this is never gonna get old i feel so powerful but also not nearly powerful enough so let’s breed some more all right horse listen i know that the

Chances of me taming you are completely random but if you don’t do it soon i will punch you once and they will all kill you oh oh he already did it okay we’re good is that a village oh i’m about to just wreak havoc villagers where are you i’m here to

Trade with you i swear that’s all i want to do villagers guys why are you doing this no don’t go in the lava oh god no heal him no he died i’m really not that torn up over it i have a hundred others oh god it’s a baby villager i’m gonna

Feel at least a little bad for this one he knows what’s up he’s trying to get out of here why are you on fire why what life decisions led to that scenario okay yeah oh oh wow oh wow i feel guilt which is not something i feel often

Are you sleeping in here it would be a shame if i uh removed the bed open the door and then punched you and then had my army of wolves devour you in front of me that would be a real shame i’m having way too much fun with this

I’m opening the floodgates and you are both goners i’m sorry they have iron columns okay i gotta be careful with this one because iron golems are brutal savages and they will kill me in one hit okay get him get him yes you can’t do [ __ ] to me

I’m just gonna sit here and watch you die oh god it’s taking a while because you’re strong and it’s it’s actually kind of it’s a little morbid but it’s okay oh that was satisfying where’s the other one can’t escape the wolf army oh oh god see that’s what i mean they’re savages

I say is my army of wolves brutally demolishes him nah but he’s the savage not me oh god no i a witch threw a poison bottle on all of them are they are they all gonna die please don’t die please don’t all die the noises that made

Were horrifying i can’t get them out of my head just the sound of a thousand dogs screaming in agony jesus christ oh god why are you all taking fall damage stop that i need you healthy so that you can kill things i’m really surprised my game isn’t just

Lagging to [ __ ] right now i lost the horse somewhere along the way but i really don’t care i think i have enough animals with me the last thing i’m gonna try for this video is going to the nether now that might seem like an inherently horrible idea but hear me out here’s my

Thinking give me one reason i shouldn’t you see i can’t think of anything so therefore it must be a good idea oh good god oh this this is already horrible ow okay no please stop falling please oh okay they’re dying very fast it’s fine we have lots of wolves

Just please don’t follow me up here because bad things will happen oh god they’re all just dying no this was a horrible idea oh my god stop stop that stop that everyone come over here set yourself not on fire now just everyone please remain calm while i do this no need to

Throw yourself into the lava i can promise you you will regret doing it why how are you guys finding a way into the lava please move please oh god just just stop stan oh i guess mining that probably didn’t didn’t really help come to me i have food look food

Yes tasty now we’re all gonna go into the portal and you’re gonna stop trying to swim in lava that is that is really badly placed lava no that’s gonna be bad when they all come through if they all come is this even gonna work this isn’t my portal oh oh no they’re

All going through okay okay okay here everyone i have food yes yes it’s working oh god yep they’re all just dying oh no i have like 10 wolves oh this is going badly why why are you why are you doing this please stop plea okay it’s fine it’s fine let’s go on an

Adventure i don’t know what i expected but it wasn’t this come on we’re gonna go find another fortress everyone follow me oh god this is everyone oh no oh oh god i just made a baby that baby’s entire life is going to be spent in hell

That’s that’s a little sad okay this is how i’m going to end the video i’m sorry you guys served me well but i no longer have a need for you thank you for the content you will be remembered i feel really bad i should not have done that okay yeah yeah

Okay i’m i’m gonna oh i can’t use water to heal him please eat my beef i’m gonna end the video with one dog the only amount that a sane person should ever have okay this was fun goodbye