[EERIE MUSIC] [NARRATOR] Secrets. We all have them. For example, I secretly don’t know anything about Minecraft, and shouldn’t be introducing this show. Actually, forget you heard that secret, bad example. Greetings! My name is Narrator, because my parents didn’t like me. I’ll be your beautiful and dare I say handsome guide to The Secrets of Minecraft. As you can see, I’m quite the Minecraft master. One who’s perfectly capable of hosting this new series solo. However, viewer feedback has found my personality is … too sophisticated for some. So, Mojang Studios have insisted that this time, I have a co-host. Meet my computer co-host, M.A.R.I.L.L.A. [Whirring sound] [NARRATOR] Oh for goodness’ sa— [MARILLA] Hello there! I’m the electronic Minecraft expert, Marilla. Ooh! I think I’m finally pronouncing that right! Your own name? Loyal viewers might remember me as the host of Ten Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Minecraft. It was an informative show, world-famous for sticking to the facts and never getting self-indulgent or weird. I was truly the host with the most! Not the most viewers. But definitely the most glitches! Which is why I’ll be your guide to The Secrets of Minecraft. I don’t think we need Mr Useless here! (No offence, Mr Useless.) How charming. Why don’t you go back into storage, and let a real Minecraft expert take care of this. Mate, you don’t even have your own show anymore. Glass houses! And I still have an IQ too high to be processed by most calculators. Here, let me try! [NARRATOR] I can think of one feature we should cut…. [MARILLA] Oi! [NARRATOR] We thought we’d begin this pleasant skip down Minecraft memory lane by looking Back at some of the features we’ve lost along the way, and explain why we got rid of them. This will be child’s play for me, for I’m a professional Minecraft historian. [MARILLA] And I’m also here. [NARRATOR] Yes… Let’s begin with some flower power! [MARILLA] Roses were taken out of the game and replaced with poppies. [Rose screaming] We cut single roses because we added rose bushes, and it’s more realistic for roses to grow that way. Being realistic is something that’s occasionally very important to our developers, until we gently remind them what game they’re working on. You were in charge of telling roses they were no longer in Minecraft, right? Yes, and I made sure to break it to them gently and honorably. By sending them a card. [MARILLA] Crystallized honey was accidentally added to a java snapshot and quickly taken Out of the game. We removed it because we felt that the honeycomb item covered all of its uses already, and we don’t want unnecessary items in Minecraft. Just unnecessary co-hosts, apparently. I’m the most necessary man alive, because I had to manually enter every single copy Of Minecraft in the world to remove that crystallized honey. And believe you me, the bees weren’t interested in giving it back. [MARILLA] Couldn’t the developers just remove the crystallized honey by updating the snapshot? …. Next one, please. [MARILLA] In ancient times, we used to give you a free house when you started a new game in Minecraft. Let’s take a look! Well….it certainly looks….free. Maybe a house that only a mother could love. Oh. My mistake. We decided to remove the indev house in the end. We asked Jens why, and he said this: Thank you! I reckon we lost the indev house because it encourages players to modify this house, instead of building their own more interesting home from scratch. As my lovely assistant is demonstrating here. [NARRATOR] I am NOT your lovely assistant. [MARILLA] See, by giving you nothing, we’re actually helping your imagination. You’re welcome! [NARRATOR] I’ve always hated this game. [MARILLA] I’m sure it’s mutual! [NARRATOR] When making a Minecraft mob, we don’t always get it right first time. Infamously, our first attempt at a pig, came out like this. During whatever we were calling MINECON in 2017… MINECON Earth! Yeah…fascinating. We let the players vote on a mob to be added to the game for the first time. The Phantom won the vote, and went on to be the most beloved mob in Minecraft history….. [laughs so hard she literally snorts] Oh I’m sorry. I know we’ve done 6000 takes but I can’t get through that line with a straight face. You don’t even technically have a face. Very well, let a professional take over. When we implemented the early design of the Phantom into Minecraft, one that was a lot closer to the sketch we showed at MINECON, the developers worried it looked too much like a sock puppet. [MARILLA] Which people already know if they watched MY show. Big “if”. In the end, we removed the mouth, and the Phantom’s sock-like looks, forever. My socks were heartbroken when I told them they’d be getting no representation in Minecraft after all. They’re still not speaking to me. [MARILLA] We cut these two out of all Minecraft media because they couldn’t learn to work together. Wait, what? Cancelled? You can’t do that! I’ve just bought my first house! How am I supposed to pay the termites off now? Ok Marilla, this is an emergency. We MUST work together. Nah, I’m good thanks. Can someone unplug me please? Think, Marilla! With your charm, hosting software, and ability to almost run the game, and my…my human heart (allegedly), we could team up! Together we could make this the greatest Minecraft series the world has ever seen and never wanted! [MARILLA] Interesting. I have been getting a lot of offers lately though. From some of the FANCIEST scrapheaps in the world! [NARRATOR] [Sighs] Very well. [MARILLA] On second thoughts, let’s team up and make the best Microsoft Solitaire series ever! [NARRATOR] Minecraft. [MARILLA] Let’s team up and make the best Minecraft series ever! [NARRATOR] Amen to that, my first ever friend, amen to that. [MARILLA] Wheeeeeeeeeeeee! [Sound of glass smashing] [NARRATOR] Sorry! Oh. She survived. Hmph. I guess that’s good. You know, for the show. [MARILLA] See you next time! [NARRATOR] That’s my line! Video Information
This video, titled ‘The Secrets of Minecraft: Features That Got Cut’, was uploaded by Minecraft on 2021-07-30 15:00:03. It has garnered 3180966 views and 137114 likes. The duration of the video is 00:07:47 or 467 seconds.
Can an indestructible computer and a very destructible British man get along long enough to tell you life-changing revelations about Minecraft? Probably not, but why not look up a few inches, press play, and find out? Discover why we fell out with single roses, the Phantoms overexplained origins, and why we’re never giving you a free house again. Enjoy!
00:00 Intro 00:18 Meet Narrator 00:56 Meet MARILLA 02:25 The Rose 03:06 Crystallized Honey 03:48 Indev House 04:50 The Phantom’s Mouth 06:08 MARILLA and Narrator- wait what?
//Credits// The Narrator’s lovely beekeeper outfit used with permission from and thanks to Niilorino: https://www.planetminecraft.com/member/niilorino/
The awesome painting “Skull on Fire” used with permission of and thanks to Kristoffer Zetterstrand: https://zetterstrand.com/