TommyInnit – Minecraft’s Funniest Pirates…

Today i gathered my funniest group of friends and we became minecraft pirates but it wasn’t easy since everyone we met along the way was all just insane this video is hilarious also most people find my videos annoying so if you don’t then please subscribe subscribing is free and everyone that has subscribed

Thank you like oh my god enjoyed this video i’m gonna drive this one all right come down you’re not the captain tubbo stop saying you’re the captain Oh you’ve got some rum can i have room can i have some room no i’ve actually got some of my own guys i know you’re the captain but stop fooling around all right come no stop drinking come to the eye we we’re low on [ __ ]

I’m going to the island [ __ ] you man you know what as the captain i say you’re not allowed to go to the island you’re not the captain oh oh it’s terrible what is this where are we hello guys we’re on the coast already dude is this place [ __ ] empty hello

She closed me she glued me too far oh my god oh yeah yeah stand back stand back stand back captain if you make eye contact with me for more than three seconds i will imprint you will be my new motherly figure oh my god what the [ __ ] was that why did

You call the captain schlatt your mother you know what fine i’ve been on the jungle i’ve been out here in the church this is too much for me this is too much for me i’m i’m hoping i’m gonna start drinking it’s okay listen we can go on

We can go on a mother-son kind of cruise or something we can just take the boat okay listen to me turbo here’s what we’re going to do we’re going to call you captain derrick dare i have your approval as assistant to the captain we’re going to call you

Assistant carefully no i want to all right thank you i’m asked captain i’m going back to the jungle to eat weeds oh wait no wait why are you here i got you gunked out by my mom all the way across the sea and now i

Know oh i’m i’m just here in this jungle i got no freaking way back you didn’t happen to live on lonely slime island do you oh my god that’s what the [ __ ] is lonely slime why do you what well if we’re heading if we’re heading past that

We can drop you off buddy you can join our little gang wait a second you’re right lonely slime island is actually right by here we’re going right by it what direction what direction he left no no no come back no we’re far left no not your left you want some alcohol i

Just um okay we can take you back but i’m so young to this world and already the cost of alcoholism has made itself clear look at our ship it’s a [ __ ] it’s a ship hole yeah this is my sh hey [ __ ] well look at it it’s all it needs we can’t even there

Are no ladders to get up there is there’s anything wrong with my ship there’s nothing wrong with myself this is my ship this is my goddamn ship you just co-signed on it okay yeah which means that i have the authority of the office oh i’m the one who pays the

Goddamn bill so i need to put you back on the beach with my [ __ ] tumbo stick again nobody come back i’ll give you a double cookie okay thank you come on i got a little what the [ __ ] wait what the [ __ ] is that that is not meant to be

Thank you for the turbo cookies what does this do what is this get ready i’m ready mount [Applause] let’s go get the boy we’re going gentlemen you stop there he is oh okay stop the [ __ ] press shift all the way wait stop it let’s captain i’ll save you

Tommy you’re not the [ __ ] captain i’m doing it i’m doing he’s an unpaid intern we literally got him off of glassdoor i don’t know what that is the kid’s resume had nothing on it it said like oh i stream on twitch.tv i don’t you think i know what that is

I think we beat the boy until he cries yeah yeah yeah we beat him in to death with the bones not no well not death i just i think no no no not [Applause] corner i’m gonna drive because you’re drunk stop swimming stop drinking which way do we have to drive gentlemen straighten off north of the next island slap you’ve had far too much to drink my bac is far above the legal limit you are more you weirdly enough you are more alcohol

Than blood i think if i held a match near you you will be dead instantly Oh my god wait is she oh my god wait wait oh my god oh my god it’s been five days since i’ve seen you it’s been one day set who wants a tupper cookie to shut the [ __ ] up yeah yeah taboo i gotta talk to you man i gotta

Talk to you come on come on charlie willa you you to shut the [ __ ] up about this whole i’m the captain thing all right it’s getting it’s getting on my nerves big time i’m way too drunk to even wait so am i the captain no no no you’re the you’re the assistant

Captain i’m the ass cap yes your title is the assistant captain of the vessel okay is this where i’m from i don’t think this is this is lonely island is this where i slimed out of the sludge oh i said i don’t want to imagine that oh

I found a little boat wait there’s a little there’s a little vessel i think i might be captaining are you kidding me right now no it’s just that’s not how it really works did you just promote me no i didn’t you gave the kid a vessel he just saw he

He literally saw a piece of driftwood and put a put a sail on it oh wait wait wait wait wait what’s this over here there’s a big red x right here this is like there’s a very very instinctual recess in my pirate brain what is that you and me

It’s like my grandfather always said i called him grandpappy he said never waste your diamonds on a hoe and now look at him now look at him where’s he now where’s he now he’s he’s dead very dead hey guys my boat’s smoking now that’s worrying yeah where is it started smoking

Oh it’s over there hey what do you mean it’s i upgraded my boat and i started smoking what does that work That uh land hoe what does that even mean why are you why are you two don’t mind us we’re not conspiring we’re not conspiring how do i get this sequence yeah and you know they took away my captain status they emer demoted me to ask captain hey you know

What that means tubbo though what what is that that means since you’re the captain of ass you can get their asses out of there you know what i’m saying right so you’re saying i just go full speed and ram that’s ram i’m full speed with already

Full speed i’m ready to ram i’m false you’re [Applause] Yes oh oh i forgot we’re actually very weak compared to their boat tommy you’re gonna be my new ass captain no i’m not ready to be your ass captain oh you’re the new ass captain you’re the new ass captain listen i need this is this big ship No it’s a big boat baby whoa this is a desert [ __ ] hey climate change is finally working all right all right hey guys what’s up we’ve just rocked up oh wait hey wait oh my god hold on it’s my mother she’s just just bringing his head

No no that’s not your mother hello he’s beautiful is this your island um i mean i guess you could say that i guess you could say that it’s that it’s my island tubbo what’s he doing over there oh it’s so warm here i’m weird like oh

What is this place it’s got a couple little temples especially that one over there oh you have temperatures i’ve been trying to get to the aether for so long in that one yeah you’ve been trying to get to the the what not this one this one’s the other i

Don’t like that one the aether is in the minecraft dimension from like 10 years ago the aether isn’t in the aether it’s in here no no the eighth isn’t real you know that trust me trust me it was it was it is real it is okay i’ve been trying for like three

Years on this dude but it just still doesn’t work no matter where i place the water i’m looking at it and it did and it didn’t work like you’ve placed the water in the portal and it’s just not yeah it’s not worked do you have a bucket this doesn’t do it

Oh [ __ ] no we kind of need to be going and getting the treasure oh the treasure what are you guys for you guys some sort of some sort of pirates well there’s treasure but we’ve been [ __ ] yeah yeah pirates are real oh wait what they’re not a joke yeah yeah that’s

That’s my profession i find that kind of hard to believe i mean the eighth are sure but the pirates man probably the aether isn’t real man it’s not either dude you gotta trust me on this one okay hey fred i was gonna ask if we could get two of

Those and play to bennis it’s actually really funny i actually have two of them i’m gonna serve i’m gonna serve i’m gonna say okay we have to play like you know how those tennis players will make really loud grunts every time oh absolutely absolutely oh god what are you michael jackson

I’m gonna die if you hit me i’m sending over are you okay are you okay wait wait wait wait what are they doing wait wait whoa whoa whoa what about god are you okay hold on you’re gonna love this wait let’s do one more round

Yeah okay sorry we lost the ball we lost the ball come back come back come back Do you happen to have any i want to talk to you i’m gonna die if you hit me do you and i have all of our goods turn around does anyone have any iron like three i actually do i actually do i have uh oh yeah oh now listen what

What is your name’s rambu yes there is like no way this cut like works in the slightest trust me okay one of these days it’s going to work and then no it’s like it’s just not in this it’s just it’s some weird it’s some culture man

Okay you want me to try i just i don’t want your hopes to be down when this this inevitably just you ready and it’s not gonna and it’s not coming by the way oh it has been three years i’ve you’ve got to be you’ve got to be kidding

Oh my god what the [ __ ] guys i’m kind of bleeding out right now on my own [ __ ] what is this where are we where uh my house this is my house actually welcome welcome you weren’t lying hold on it’s my among uh it’s my aggressive flute wanna see what okay

I’m sorry but you stole my among us statues and they are funny that they aren’t funny to me this is 100 serious nothing about this is funny no oh my god can you believe that philza did that we’ll have to wait we’ll have to eject him Guys we go we go we don’t we don’t stick with them that’s got to be the best imposter i’ve ever seen captain schlatt you you just drunk you’re just drunk ignore this okay you know what among us is do you mount your ships please rent

[ __ ] you [ __ ] i think i’m going to have them on me no no come on hey now listen i know times are tough and and the sales been shot and and you’ve all suddenly got very very amongsy but we got to get charlie back to his home

We’re a democracy here aren’t we are we i dude i just joined you guys if we um if we we are when we get to the next island who votes we permanently leave tabo there say hi a piece of sludge on the bottom of the shoe of the universe but tubbo has been

He’s been my ass captain all right oh so we’re just gonna abandon him we’re not just gonna abandon him out there who votes for the abandoned tubbo five vote deciding we leave oh i guess i this is my stop goodbye friends wait no wait no this one no no whoa holy [ __ ] okay

We gotta have a cook out here i don’t see enough dying polar bears i don’t see any polar bears okay that’s step one complete then if we don’t see any oh red x that means that means we did our job now we’re done well but that means we eat tonight oh

Hey look at their eggs no is that your mother that’s warm mom is this is this your mom she’s so much longer than i remember and a lot bonier too i thought didn’t have any bones but apparently i think this is i think this is her i remember when she

Was all coop and no bones and now here she is she’s bones just bones no goop because of climate change rambo oh my god is that one wait look what they did to her oh no look what they did to her oh my god they turned my mom in the bones they

Turned your mom into a bone version of stonehenge say it say it we should burn all of them all of the how did you i may have walked the plank but now i’m back and i’m mad you didn’t you sounded not very mad do you know how to sound

Mad you sound really friendly still i am really really pissed off right now you still don’t sound mad now you sounded kind of sad i am i am so mad with you i am very very mad today taboo come back on a ship we will kill you

We found charlie’s mom no she’s not on this island we’re at one island off that’s your skeleton no no no she’s one skeleton oh holy [ __ ] charlie’s mom was fat as [ __ ] no no no we’re one we’re one island after and you just left him there okay sort

Out turbo i’m gonna go get charlie charlie she’s bones no charlie charlie no no no she’s not she got climate changed in the ball that would be funny if that happened but she did she wasn’t look then i’m gonna cut i’ll play out i’m gonna curl up here and turn into oil

I’m gonna curl up here if i just do you agree with human rights we should sing our problems what are your problems sing me a problem ah my wife is a big [ __ ] i don’t know how to pay taxes i’ve gotten i’ve got a bit of news for you this

One island off your mother’s so this isn’t this isn’t lonely island although it really would fit that name that’s the next island my mom isn’t born follow the track your mum isn’t that this isn’t your mum could you just part your boat there every everyone get ready to clean their chair

Could you just park your boat there buddy everyone get ready please don’t go go go shoot him again we’re going to get ready on these chairs on your chairs everyone ah on your tears we murdered him we did it we committed murder let’s go guys this way oh

Wait learn the island are you sure you’re ready charlie they haven’t released a new song in years tommy are you sure what what’s your favorite lonely island song no we’re here the slime real talk i’m not even i’m not even saying this to make a joke uh the only

Lonely island song i know is jizz in my pants well we’re finally here i think she’s here is she really here yeah this is lonely island full just full of [ __ ] wait who’s that i hear my hero turtle sloshing i can finally be reabsorbed into my mother hello i always have been slosan

This is some reverse this is some what does [ __ ] dude what are you in that so confused and you know what they say just lose you lose freeze frame it oh no [ __ ] guys everything was just green for a moment uh but check this out check what i check what i found inside

Slosade [Applause] Oh wow the drop rate on susan is higher than it should be no don’t do no no no no no anyway i gotta go all right see ya see ya jolly guys i’m unintentionally cheating oh he figured it out at least oh i figured it out murder i’ve got susan’s balls