GAME SINS | Everything Wrong With Minecraft Story Mode [Eps. 1-4]

Did minecraft has some deep lore that I was unaware of when did this game even exist besides being an obvious cash grab from Microsoft brought to you by the developer there’s made exactly one really good game and then a bunch of other games trying to recreate that one

Game in different license franchises as well as the one developer made one really successful game and not much else nothing built can last forever oh man they dragged poor Professor Farnsworth into this Gabriel the warrior before whose sword all combatants would tremble only if there are mobile heads

On sticks though also what do you think the over-under is on Gabriel being voiced by Dave fennoy I mean he voiced the black guy in every telltale game so far Ella got the redstone engineer whose machines would spark an era of invention Ella guards world-changing inventions consists of a couple Pistons not pushing

Any blocks this is everyone’s first redstone creation this story complete they slipped away into the pages of legend except they’re still alive and one of them even does conventions would you rather fight a hundred chicken sized zombies or ten zombie sized chickens did I stumble into an ask me anything

Thread on reddit the first line out of a character’s mouth is a meme you were trying way too hard to appeal to Internet culture that’s easy I’ll take the little tiny little zombies oh man I dragged poor pen Naz Walden to this we are not losers Olivia we lose all the

Time it’s what we do looks like telltale woman’s story plot 22b where the main cast starts as a group of lovable losers it will come to realize their true potential to be heroes you may recognize it from every plot written for this demographic in the last 20 years

Oh why would anyone be tricked by a fake creeper during the day in a brightly lit room this is like Minecraft 101 and I’ll do a Reuben that’ll do at this point telltale is like that one awkward dad trying to fit in with his son’s friends by using every

Internet meme Eno is in the first five minutes of the conversation also it’s in two parts each part more exciting than the last it’s pretty much Telltale’s design philosophy only split among five parts and attends a peak with Episode one we never win and this year we’ve got

Reuben with us the way you were talking about Reuben earlier made it seem like you bring Reuben with you every year to the building competition so this should be normal by now I think this is the first time we decided on something before getting to the competition no wonder you’ve lost every previous

Competition planned ahead people I’ve never seen a training montage in the first five minutes of a story before probably for a good reason why are you even doing push-ups you need to collect materials to make a creeper statue and what is a pic basically Yoda for this all that sand and ink Jesse

Collects is not used for anything they build in the competition this game trots out the jerk team who wear leather jackets are inexplicably – only one team in particular and no others as seen in basically every kid’s movie from the 80s and 90s freaking vegan stained glass

They are just building a beacon they’re building a rainbow beacon they must’ve checked the wiki on how to build that you’ll have to eat me first this is somebody’s fetish I guarantee it who helped these tools for the right price I’ll help anyone if you need

Anything you know where to find me none of us know where to find you exactly what then how are they supposed to find you your business is getting things from the nether for people why would you want to be difficult to find after telling them they know where to find you no hard

Feelings guys if you’re cool with petra you’re cool with us Lucas is a 1 good guy on the team full of leather jacket wearing honestly he’s so normal I wonder why he hangs out with him in the first place he has to know his team is comprised of

Douchebags lots this big boss here somewhere this makes two games in a row now where telltale was trying to be in on the joke that is their only original game mechanic this fireworks are going off right above your heads run whoops oh no Reubens on fire

No come back it was eight the lavas getting closer on the bill this is why you always keep a bucket of water on you after all three of them go looking for Reuben Olivia Naxals split up and do absolutely nothing to find Reuben making them coming along to search completely

Pointless suddenly I’m getting The Walking Dead flashbacks huh that’s pretty ironic you have to make a run for it okay Reuben ran straight through them all the zombies odds are you could do the same Jesse and Petra escaped by running to the left which makes me wonder why Jesse

Didn’t do that to start with if there was an obvious escape route fresh from the nether you risked your life for that dusty old skull oh I risk my life for the thing I’m gonna exchange for that dusty old skull there’s this guy I’m meeting up with an under Khan he’s gonna

Trade me a diamond for it with her skull is worth way more than a single diamond Petra is getting ripped off since that wouldn’t sort of yours got busted you’re giving me a new one even better you can make your own I feel that Jesse should have made a stone sword long before

Graduating to crafting fireworks displays and trying to win competitions what’s next is he gonna make his first pickaxe here we go Jack yeah because sticks and cobblestone are so hard to come by in Minecraft till tell really likes the zombie land intro that is not the Minecraft swimming animation or its

Lack of swimming animation to be more exact couldn’t find him either huh I’m sorry Jesse we looked everywhere so we just left you in the mob filled woods at night and came back to town yeah we’re sort of douchey friends what were you doing in the woods Petra nothing

Just drawn by the sound of Jessie’s high-pitched screams that’s actually a good question since Petra had no reason to be out in the woods she already had the wither skull on her and she had to be in town to trade it for a diamond I guess he just really wanted to take a

Detour he said the dark creepy alley close to the gates but he’s not here maybe he should have given an actual address rather then tell you to meet him in a literal dark and creepy alley hive or ah here she is sorry I’m late you weren’t late you were here before

Him he was the one who was late and you went to see if you had the right address perhaps we should call the whole thing off considering why you want the wither skull and you’re gonna rip them off I’m kind of curious why you would even try

Hard balling this deal and this isn’t a diamond no it’s lapis never give up the goods until you see the money this section is oddly similar to looking for Jason and heavy rain well I don’t think anyone would consciously rip all the scene from the David cage game it does show a

Cliche this scene is that it always plays out the same every time person was looking for another person in the crown we’ll catch glimpses of them but other people will get in the way and someone will be mistaken from behind for the person you were chasing come on Ruben

I’m sorry Ruben I never should have let you run off in the woods is Ruben actually angry Jessie for giving him an opportunity to escape at the risk of his own life what that big IFS oh wait there he is it’s like he’s heading towards the Hall

We’re gonna have to get past that oh sure to follow him and I or didn’t we need a distraction a lot of chickens running around it might be a distraction shoot shoot I sure was afraid of chickens and so this scene was written without any changes but you have to

Break that pane of blacks how are you gonna reach it is it Roth not available I feel that a rock would be better than creating a block of slime to jump off so you could punch through glass with your bare hand bouncer who’s afraid of chickens runs right into a flock of

Chickens where’d he go there how do you know anyone could have left that door ajar you didn’t even see Ivor go in there hi boar has an evil laboratory right below the convention center that no one knew about and this is just down the stairs off to the side of the lobby

Is that a Quentin Tarantino trunk shot I see soul sand plus three wither skulls that’s the recipe for a wither this guy’s read the wiki don’t you recognize me surprised busy me no that’s not good villain practice knocking over a bottle cliche I have what I want and you have

Exactly what you earned the villains were just honored they’re into the agreement I feel they would win 90% of the time Show our friends the door that’s not how iron golems work they only tag mobs and spawned not people oh well what do you know he is voiced by Dave fennoy kissing his friends ring out the basement when the iron golem attacked but Lucas got separated and is still hiding in the

Basement when Jess he goes to find him he finds Lucas and the Golem but no Ivor there’s only one exit to this basement and Jesse and his friends were right outside at this whole time so where did Ivor go you had a lever on stage to raise the wither out of your

Secret laboratory the whole time I didn’t maintenance never notice this when did you have time to put the wither together it was all in pieces in a trunk a minute ago and Jesse and Lucas were in the basement where it was stored not long ago and you weren’t there

Creature raytrace recreate I said that’s a command block dude you got inner some code for that to work all the other people who were caught in the withers tractor beam get pulled immediately into it except for Jesse and Petra you just kind of float there so they can be rescued

Leonardo is built entirely of obsidian we should be untouchable in there well maybe if you’d close the door behind you hurry you can get through the portal you’ll be faked traveling to Minecraft version of Hell is apparently safer than fighting a love crafty hey Lovecraft

I just realized that why me I believe in you you don’t even know him you literally just met him five minutes ago and then you ran from a monster together Petra you’ve got to go through the portal with us hi Jesse this is something I’ve got to do what

Die heroically there is no reason for you to stay behind and it’s not like as much you can do anyways I would wish you good luck but luck won’t carry you to the nether you have my sympathies if you’re so good to surviving in the nether why did you have Petric at the

Wither skull for you you could have just gotten it yourself according diof or these tracks were built by the order of the stone however they built the worst minecart system in history since the track leads into a waterfall of lava and you have to manually switch the track to avoid dying

Also I don’t see any powered rails to make the mine carts move forward which is necessary in Minecraft just once I’d like to make it through one of these videos without getting Indiana Jones flashbacks no at this point I’d settle for getting through one of these without getting any Steven Spielberg movie

Flashbacks I say we build a treehouse tree house is gonna be spider town I hate spiders you live in a treehouse though why is building one now such an issue if you had you which would you rather fight 100 chicken sized zombies don’t you start that again it was a

Desperate enough attempt at appealing the message board culture of the first time did I do something to you I’d really like to know because you keep getting on my case for what seems like no reason yeah axle has come down with a case of telltale disease a terrible affliction that affects one of

Every five people on a telltale game the order has only been disbanded for a few years at this point right so why does the old temple look like it’s been rotting for centuries we’re trapped no I’m pretty sure those dispensers will run out of arrow to

Shoot at some point just wait it out all important information will be in the middle of the book Lachey this game isn’t even trying I the fact that it’s borrowing the light map room from Raiders of the Lost Ark got to find the order of the stone but there are

Only two White’s look we don’t know enough about how this thing works maybe the amulet only tracks them when they’re on the surface or maybe it doesn’t work when they’re in the nether and yet it’s not tracking Gabriel who is in this world just inside of a monster

Oh come on Jesse you’re not even having a little fun I mean I am at the end of episode one you were admonishing everyone for not taking things serious enough when they started telling jokes now you’re living this up that is like the perfect warm-up for

When we get to boomtown boom boom down how did you see and read that sign when you were facing away from it come to think of it how did you guys know that this minecart would take you to a portal that would take you to Magnus the amulet

Pointed to a location on a map he didn’t say anything about traveling there through another portal nor found some noobs thingy that can find Magnus I could buy that she over Jessie say that bu the guy who just showed up uh-oh again yes he survives that yep

That’s an arrow in his knee do I even have to explain why I’m sending this something that pixelated would not roll like a coin you were completely surrounded by hundreds of hidden death traps oh man they dragged poor corey feldman knew that actually never mind you could use the work how exactly is

This a trap they could just back away from the TNT that’s an obsidian bridge so the explosion can’t destroy it Gabriel sent us on this mission Gabriel haha you’re seriously telling me your buddy-buddy with Gary you know how often people try to tell me that is the fact that they brought Gabriel

Samuel with him not mean anything to you quick come on you guys are never gonna believe who showed up while you were gone hello Petra didn’t know about the temple or the very least she didn’t know its location and she certainly didn’t travel through the nether to get here the

Portal was destroyed by the wither storm’s tentacles after Ivor came through you pulled me out of that weather storms crutches and I ran and ran and ran for the temple why didn’t you just run through the nether portal with the rest of them you accomplished nothing by staying behind anyway so why

Were you so amped up to do that super TNT stronger and more explosive than anything else in the world the formidable um yeah yeah yeah I’ve heard all about the f-bomb before f-bomb yeah Sauron claimed the dropping the f-bomb could destroy anything what war our map

Could locate him he wasn’t on the map well no but since the plot now calls for finding him his light will now appear on the map along with eye boards saurons light first shine on a spot close to the temple in the next shot it’s shining all

The way at the top of the map not too far we could probably make it on foot why not travel through the nether like you did to boomtown not only is that faster it would let you beat I bore to Sauron since he’s traveling by foot and has a head start

Petra has a diamond sword when before she swiped a gold one from my boars lab how far is or it it has to be close right not much farther we can make it you just left the temple though swarm was somewhere at the top of the map how

Are you so close already oh look that’s the exact opposite of what you should do with intermón he got me away from the wither storm but I’m worried that I didn’t get away soon enough what what is that what’s wrong with your arm do you know what wither is the wither of

Course we’ve been no Jesse just with her or with her sickness I guess Petra’s voice actor Ashley Johnson has experience with this sort of thing she voiced Ellie in the Last of Us girl who gets infected with terrible disease is probably the most unfortunate typecasting I’ve ever witnessed this guy

Knows what the camera is Petra went to find the others after Jessie fell down a hole and she apparently did because they show up at the end of this fight with Ivor but Petra gets here way before them which means after finding them Petra ran back to Jessie why Lucas acts on Olivia

Casually strolled if you ever seen things of a splash potion of slowness why did you use that potion to begin with you were nearly captured by them thank God admittedly this part is pretty funny you don’t look so good yam you literally gain circles under your eyes in the course of one scene

Since you could just dig straight to the floor I’m kind of confused why you’re so stumped about I get out of the room I warlock you in this is minecraft after all say hello to the running joke of this episode if Petra doesn’t want the others to know about her wither sickness

She should keep her sleeve rolled down like she was doing before everyone should easily notice is spreading purple pixel on her arm we have to get out of here what we have to get out of here Olivia yield that loudly the first time she’s right next to you so you shouldn’t

Need to ask one for clarification by my count this is the second time that Amelia’s gone rolling away and then probably come an inch from being destroyed the ambulant it’s over there when Jessie dropped it and landed on a purple floor then it’s certainly not a purple floor pretty sure throwing that

Creeper ahead of you is breaking some wall gravity yep that’s a spider attacking someone underwater stupid isn’t it here we get not one but two examples of the running joke for this episode no I’m not crying just look again you really shouldn’t tell them that when it’s in German just

Say it’s intermittent they will figure out the rest on their own we might never find this guy there he is did that just happen I can’t believe that just happened I can’t either that was lazy writing disguises comedy and one more got to have your system yet he is the greatest

Builder of all time if anybody knew how to put in the secret of secret doors it’s him why do we have to go through this song and dance of finding a way out of this room again we just did this if you can dig through a stone floor a wall

Made of wool wouldn’t be too much of a problem after all that it’s not here you know that he’s here though you saw him walking up the stairs if Sauron is trying to teach Enderman how to build things that have clay blocks why is the crafting recipe and the clay blocks

Inside where the inner man can’t get to them good thing they can’t see me through this glass I know that’s the actual rule in Minecraft but damn does that sound stupid when spoken out loud that disguise may full and in German but I’m pretty certain saw him and realized

That you were about half the size of an internment and your jaw is showing plus he made the costume you must be Sauron oh I am but must I be this is what your love a firefly and Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s come to people every form of

Entertainment is not trying to copy Joss Whedon style dialogue because that’s what the kids love these days Gary may seem scary but he’s a swell guy Sally dilly-dally ‘he’s give her credit she tries what the hell am i playing Olivia just walk out of the room while

Jessi was risking his life with the internment she was in here when Jessie left and even said she would watch from the window after swarm brought you back she reenters the room and his surprises he Soren it feels like a dick move on her part shouldn’t these interment be

Attacking them right now the entire group clearly looked at them did you walk through a crowd of in ermine when you arrived just fine just keep your head down so what’s the role for these iron golems in this game back in the lab one attack Jesse and the others now they

Attack nothing with the mobs and leave the humans alone Bernie is hoping that on the wither storm this sickness will just dissipate yeah because killing thing that Becky you is a medically proven way of curing disease so kids if you inherited a chronic illness with one

Of your parents just get one of them don’t actually do that oh there you are so glad you could make it so glad you two could rejoin the plot since you walk down a hallway for an entire episode while everyone else is doing important stuff you should be ashamed of

Yourselves well I didn’t see you or the others of Jesse’s group volunteering to set off the f-bomb you were just as much of a coward as them Jesse take my armor but you’re a woman I know you’re all blocked people but assuming you’re still anatomically correct that would make it

Difficult for Jesse to fit into your armor also doesn’t that mean you’re going to strip right in the middle of the battle Jesse only collects two of the eight pieces of gunpowder that flew away inside the with the storms tractor beam yeah when he has symbols death mom

He has all eight pieces death mom looks a lot like the command block inside the wither storm all those people they’re alive the wither storm didn’t kill them and apparently the bomb that blew it apart didn’t either Ella gar doesn’t turn into a pile of crafting materials and equipment when she dies considering

That later when the pig dies it turns into a pork chop I was disappointed that they didn’t play this one by the rules out of all these people who were inside the wither storm not a single one of them has a wither sickness like Petra does or seems to have lost her memories

Like Abril has Gabriel’s eyes turned red in between episodes new random saddled horses just roam these lands or something why is thorn busy building an attractive gate on their hastily built bridge to escape the wither storm seems a bit unnecessary there’s really no reason why the with the storm can’t

Continue to chase Jessie and the others it acts like I can’t cross the gap even though it’s flying other people wearing that very same tacit when I was thrown from the monster Lucas your friends could still be out there I know and that means I I got to

Go after them when your friends have been sucked back into the weather once I revived itself I mean that was some crazy you only managed to escape from with horses and why didn’t you see them when you were rescuing people after the F bomb went off Ivor built the

Wither sure but he couldn’t have done it without that Scala gave him true but he already found the first two skulls on his own I’m sure he could have gotten the third in time I don’t want to lose you you understand what yeah I know you’ve run off before but things are

Different now Jessie actually understand what his Pig is saying what are you doing here Ivor come to lock me in another room I came to offer my help huh he’s been why didn’t you do that earlier then you tried to take Jessie’s head off back at sauron’s you’ve been

Playing the villain the whole game you seen it with my own eyes we actually just saw a bunch of Enderman pull blocks off the wither storm so so enough of them working together might be able to destroy a wither storm entirely this would have been a way more interesting

Plan to stop the wither storm but later they just offer a magic sword you’re forgetting about the command block yes well I created a fail-safe a back-up plan just in case and I didn’t have with me when I created the wither I really should have looked out the definition of

Failsafe before I did this just one problem it’s at my secret lab which is sort of far away seriously why would you create a failsafe for the wither and then store it at the end of the earth if you already had this thing prepared why

Didn’t you go and get it as soon as your plan went south instead you went to saurons fortress looking for him for no reason you just go make that super weapon I’ll meet you back at saurons fortress but saurons Fortress is just a short distance from your camp meanwhile

The Far Lands are several days away are we there yet almost there you are still days away from your lab in the Far Lands why say this if you’re not even remotely close my rear end is profoundly sore I’m not touching that one I am Telling You we

Cannot go to the Far Lands you’ve been traveling for weeks and you’re only now voicing your opposition hold on back up what exactly are the Far Lands and you only now just got around to talking about what the Far Lands are this what did you guys talk about during the trip Wow

You lost them for wow what is that how did you not notice something that big until you were standing right in front of it subtle I’m getting the walking Doh yeah I already did that one but no what do we do we’re all separated oh no if only you could build a short

Bridge of some sort to get across you know like you did when you were escaping the weather storm all of the things I know about physics are currently being violated this is the ntr of gravity and the conservation of energy find anything yet huh and this mess it’s as though

I’ve learned nothing from my lectures on organizational methodology only he hadn’t gotten lost and that confounded swamp he could just tell us where the book is I’m pretty sure that was the devs away getting themselves out of the corner they wrote themselves into I think I’ve or with him would have made

Getting into the lab and finding the book trivial so he just disappeared in a cutscene and doesn’t reappear until Jesse finds the enchanting book he came for wood planks those will be useful actually that was a stick why would you build a secret passage in a house that

Nobody ever visits we’re like why wouldn’t you know her question was actually pretty reasonable oh no they couldn’t possibly mine through that stone wall seriously characters not be able to just mine the way out of any problem is so on minecraft it hurts and that’s only compounded by the fact that they didn’t

Mind that way through a stone floor earlier hmm no way out you want to try and see if that door opens first before coming to that conclusion we aren’t those the ender crystals like the real ones they are but you’ve never seen the inner crystals before Sauron

Only told you about destroying them in this story about the inner Jagan so you shouldn’t know where they look like I would use the command block to blink the ender dragon out of existence securing our statuses legends forever we told the world we defeated the dragon the rest is

History using the command walk to blink the ender dragon out of existence is supposed to seem like cheating and Jessie gets pissed off after hearing the truth about the order of the stone from Sauron it seems like a perfectly reasonable way of getting rid of a

Monster to me or is Jessie saying he wouldn’t be okay with using the command block to get rid of the wither storm if he had it also a Sauron blamed the inter dragon out of existence where did he get the dragon egg that was in the other

Room that only drops him killing the inner dragon so you finally admitted sworen how could you I how long have you guys been standing there did soar not notice I warned the rest standing there in the doorway this whole time in his field of view I mean he was

Literally looking in that direction is this why you left the order because Sauron lied because they all did Sauron Gabriel Magnus hel Agarn they agreed to keep this a secret if I bore was so upset about the lie that the order told about defeating the under dragon why did

He go and build a replica of the fake battle in his lab your horses ran off when you were attacked by witches in the swamp where did you get new ones and it took you days if not weeks to get to the Far Lands how did you get back to

Saurons fortress so fast my name is Gabriel the warrior oh sake I’m not letting that idiot get himself killed you had no problem letting him almost get himself killed in episode 1 this pissing off intermón chase to get them to attack the wither storm goes on for five minutes

Ocelots distract that weather storm oh hey it’s the team from the first episode here to redeem themselves and then turn heel immediately in the next episode Rubin no place unlikely but everything it can to protect the command block means I have to do everything I can destroy thanks Captain Obvious I know you can survive any fall in Minecraft by falling into water but that was a belly flop into like two feet of water from way up in the sky so do you bury it or eat it man sucks villengard she died help stop the wither storm – it only Rubin the pig

It’s a memorial and so it was that a new order of the stone was born one whose adventures were only just beginning season 2 baking pork chop sandwiches you