The Secrets of Minecraft’s Deep Dark

[NARRATOR] Secrets. We all have them. Like how I  secretly sell bootleg copies of Minecraft on VHS.   Let me know in the comments  if you’d like to buy one,   but you have to tell me if you’re a  cop. Because then you get a discount.

Greetings! My name is Narrator. I’m like if white  bread was sentient and almost had a personality.   Waaiiitt…something’s off. Marilla seems  a bit more “clearly missing” than usual.   Egad! I can’t host this show without Marilla!  … contractually. I’ll have to find her. Hmm.  

If I know anything about women, she’s  either in a swamp or the deep dark. Since I believe Marilla was created a few  thousand years before rocks were invented,   Minecraft’s ancient cities in the deep dark are  probably my best bet of finding her. Let’s take a look at some top secret concept art.

For the ancient cities, our developers were inspired by Mayan temples and Roman ruins. That’s what they told us when they charged us for expensive trips to those locations anyway. They were trying to  capture a feeling of something that feels like   it was once bustling with life, but is now vacant  and lifeless, like me.

These documents show us ideating a version of the sculk that would be much easier to trigger. Simply stepping on it would make a lot of noise, and attract you-know-who. Luckily for you, we’re not that cruel. Wait, we’re not that cruel? Since when? Hmph.

I’ve said it before, but I still get paid if I say it again: concept art is not a sacrosanct blueprint. Often our artists are trying to capture the atmosphere   that they hope the final biome or feature will  evoke. Finally! A family game that’s going for  

Finally! A family game that’s going for an atmosphere of foreboding dread! There is lore behind these cities, but it’s important to us that   this lore is left up to player interpretation.  We provide the building blocks, and the players   create the stories. Incidentally, if anyone’s  keeping track of the lore of this show,  

Please start a wiki. I’m pretty sure I married  someone. Check if it was Jens, won’t you?   Don’t worry, I’m sure Marilla’s fine. Or  in terrible danger. I’ve narrowed it down to those two.  She’s probably pitching  some awful spin-off show or something.

Actually looks borderline watchable. We had a lot  of different ideas for the deep dark at first,   We had a lot of different ideas for the deep dark at first, some better than others. The original concept was very different. Here’s  some early designs. Originally it was going  

To feel like an underwater biome, but with the  water missing. It’d be like taking an empty bath,   but hopefully slightly more interesting. The plan  was to have lots of floating jellyfish in the air,   and ghostly looking blocks. Just ghostly  *looking*, I should stress.

You’re not going to be confronted by the vengeful  ghosts of every block you’ve ever mined.   We’re saving that for a future update, when  we want the game to stop being popular. In this version of the deep dark, the  only source of light would have been   bioluminescent blocks, potentially  like the ones seen here.  

We liked this idea a lot, but it didn’t really  fit the creepy vibes of the warden and the sculk.   In fact, I myself am probably too creepy to be  talking over it, so I’m going to shut up now. So Marilla, ready to tell our  viewers some secrets about ancient cities?

[Terrible Marilla impression] Sure  am, buddy! By the way, you’re beautiful and everyone likes you! Good point old friend. And –  oh who am I kidding, I can barely do my own voice.   What we’re aiming to do with the deep dark  and ancient cities is fill you with a sense  

Of foreboding mystery, like there’s some  long forgotten secret you have to uncover,   but despite having some of the pieces, you  can’t completely figure it out.   I suppose some secrets are just undiscoverable.  No wonder our show got cancelled. Oh. Well that was … surprisingly easy.

They’re planning to what? No, they can’t do that! [Kazoo sound] Mobbo! You’re behind this?! [Kazoo] What have you done with Marilla, and far more importantly,  what are you planning to do with me? [Kazoo sounds] Mobbo, this plan is barbaric! [Terrifying warden sounds] Jonathan? I mean, William? I mean – Arrghhhh!

Hello? Anyone there? I’m back from my holiday  in the swamp. You know, the one I told you about like 50 times so you wouldn’t panic and go on a dangerous adventure to look for me?   Oh no. Someone should look for him. Bye.